by L. C. Giroux
"Buddy, don't do anything stupid, you look fit to kill someone. Why don't you come back in and take it out on the court. Seriously, Michael, don't call her when you're like this. You are just going to regret it."
"Undoubtedly." Michael yelled from his car as he started the engine. He knew on some level Cam was right but it just kept boiling in his brain. Was their whole relationship some kind of joke to her? He had thought she had been overwhelmed with the expensive gifts -maybe she didn't think they were up to her standards? And the whole submission thing, was she just laughing behind his back? The poor broken cripple thought he could play tough with the fucking heiress.
At 9:30 Violet's cell phone rang, she was already in bed and feeling sorry for herself. It had been a whole week and Michael still hadn't called. She looked at the caller ID and tried to stop her heart from pounding. She missed him so much, maybe he just needed more time. She hit the answer button.
"Michael?"
"Don't say a fucking word. I just wanted to tell you, as bad as I thought I felt last week when you left was nothing compared to tonight when I found out you have been lying to me all along. Why did we never go to your place Violet? I always thought it was because you lived in some walk up and you didn't want to embarrass me or you were too embarrassed that I had more money than you. But no, you didn't want me to know that you live in a fucking mansion on the shore and really you were just embarrassed by me."
"Michael, that isn't true."
"You're not rich?"
"Yes, I am rich, the house is the only obvious sign of it. I was never embarrassed to be with you Michael, ever. I'm sorry I wasn't completely honest with you. I just wanted a chance for us to get to know each other without the money getting in the way."
"And you had the audacity to slam me for not trusting you. You couldn't even be honest with who you were. So was the sex thing just some fucking joke, see if you could get the cripple to get off? I've heard the rich are into weird kink. Was that all it was, some sick way to have a feeling of accomplishment."
"Oh, Michael." She was crying now. There was no way he could miss it. "Please. Don't make what we did into something cheap. I can't believe you could be so cruel. Good bye Michael"
She hung up and started sobbing so hard no sound came out. When it did, it came out as a keening wail, bringing Allyn running to her room. He didn't need to ask, he knew it had to do with Dennison. Wheelchair or not, he wanted to kick his ass. Violet hadn't been like this since their parents had died. All he could do then was hold her, so that was all he did now. Finally in the early morning she fell into an exhausted sleep and he went back to his room.
The next morning Violet came downstairs to find a plane ticket sitting on her plate with a note from Allyn. The note read,
Take a couple weeks off. Tante and Oncle miss you. Give them all a kiss from me too.
Allyn
Maybe a trip to Grasse wouldn't be such a bad thing except for the part of actually getting out of her pajamas. If she could manage that it would only get easier from there. Looking at the ticket, she'd have to hurry if she was going to pack and make it to the plane that afternoon.
After three weeks of being spoiled and fed by Tante Marrianne, Violet knew she had to go back soon. The foundation was too much for Allyn to run alone no matter how much she wanted to hide. Her parents and Allyn had raised her to do her chores first, play second. As an adult that meant she felt guilty hanging out like a teenager with her cousin Marie-Hèlene. La Reine, the queen, as everyone called her, had graduated from law school and it was fun to spend time with her as just girls.
"Violette, Je ne comprend pas, I don't understand, this man, he is angry because you are rich? Here, the man would be happy to have a rich wife."
"Maybe he did not want a wife."
"Mais, you said he told you he was hurting when you left, he might not want the wife now, mais, he did not want you to leave."
"La reine, you'll understand when you fall in love. None of it makes any sense."
"Bouf, I have been in love with the same man jamais, forever, and he still will not look at me. I know it makes no sense. I tried to fall in love with other men when I was at university but they were all just silly boys and I did not want a boy. You do not have to tell me about l'amour." then she laughed "Mais le sexe, fantastique, non?"
"La Reine! Oui, plus que fantastique." and Violet laughed too. She missed Michael with a physical need that wouldn't not relent. Not just what he did to her sexually but their closeness, the way he looked at her, just speaking to him. But she couldn't change who she was any more than he could. In another couple of days she would have go back. "La Reine, what are you going to do? It has been months since you graduated and as much as Tante and Oncle like having you here, it is time to get a job and start living your life, no? Maybe hunt down that man you are in love with and make him listen to reason? Why don't you come back to the States with me? You could stay with Allyn and I. Maybe work at the foundation? We are always looking for good people. If you like it you can stay, if not call it an internship." Violet felt more excited than she had since her and Michael broke up. "Please, Think of the fun you can have torturing Allyn."
"I... I would like that very much. Will Allyn mind me in the house?"
"I don't know why he would, he has always had a soft spot for you, ever since you made fun of his accent and called him Eeenglish. Why else would a twenty year old boy spend an entire summer learning French to please a five year old girl." Marie-Hèlene smiled wider than Violet had ever seen her.
"Oui, I'll do it. Mais, when will you leave?"
"I'll go in a couple of days but you can get what you need done and come when ever. It will be like having a sister for me!"
"Bouf, I have nothing but sisters, I am looking forward to torturing your brother!"
"You always did save your worst pranks for him. I'm so glad you'll come, now I will have something to look forward to when I go back."
Chapter Ten: Back in Boston
It had been twenty-two days, sixteen hours, and forty-five minutes since Michaels life had imploded from his own stupidity. He had transferred patients and taken vacation time, he was so useless. He had tried everything to get her out of his system, even thought about getting a call girl but rejected it. He didn't want a woman he wanted that woman. He rationalized he was right and she was wrong and she'd call him. When he saw the opera board meeting on his calendar he knew he'd see her there. He had decided he was an idiot and he'd apologize. She wasn't there. He had gotten desperate and called the foundation, only to be told she was on an extended leave. Now driving to her house he knew he he'd do anything for her to take him back.
Getting out of the car in the circular drive he looked the house over. House was a quaint term for what stood in front of him, like the 'cottages' of Newport it went on forever. It could have been a dorm at a small college, one nobody except the super wealthy would be able to afford. He looked at the entrance and swore under his breath. Three steps up to the portico'd entry blocked him from even ringing the damn doorbell. He put his head in his hands and tried not to scream in frustration.
Michael had no idea how long he sat there. He was now cold and miserable, rather, more miserable than when he had arrived. He heard a car pull in the drive but didn’t look to see who it might be. He heard foot steps behind him, male from the sound of them, certainly not Violet’s.
“Dennison? What the hell are you doing here.”
“Allyn, I...”
“I don’t know that I want you anywhere near my sister. Frankly, it is only the thin veneer of British civility keeping me from bashing you in the face. What the hell did you say to her anyway man.”
“I called her a liar because she led me to believe she worked at the foundation instead of owning it.”
“Ugh, always the goddamned money. We run the foundation. Violet does indeed work there. Yes, it has our family name but it is not like we could take the money back and do what ever we wanted wi
th it. All of the Bellows money is in a trust. Violet and I get a nice share but aside from that the only thing we got when our parents died was this house. Violet refuses to sell it for sentimental reasons but in this economy... Don’t know why I am explaining any of this to you. So I repeat, what are you doing here?”
“I came to apologize to Violet but I couldn’t even get to the doorbell.”
“Violet isn’t here.” Allyn looked at Michael and thought he’d never seen a man look so pitiful. It was obvious that the man was in love with his sister whether he realized it or not. “You look like you could use a drink. I have an excellent collection of single malts. Come in and have a drink. How long have you been sitting here, you look blue for God’s sake.”
“But the steps...”
“Yes, well I think I can manage getting you up and back down.” Allyn backed the chair up the steps easily and opened the door escorting Michael inside. Michael didn’t speak again till they were in the library and the scotch had been poured.
“Where is she?”
“France but I’ll not tell you where so don’t think you can run off and find her. She should be home soon enough and then let her decide if she’ll see you. Does she know how you feel about her?”
“I told her the last time I saw her but that was the night she walked out on me. Then I... She must hate me.”
“No, I suspect she is in love with you. Though you being a typical male seemed to have messed it up. We all do that, don’t we?”
“So you think there might be a chance?”
“I know my sister to be one of the most forgiving people I have ever met, that said, no promises. I will tell her you came here to apologize. Have you had anything to eat? She'll kill me if you end up in an accident and I was a precipitating factor."
"No, but I couldn't intrude more than I already have. I should be going."
"Nonsense, I'll have Sheila make up some steaks, frankly, I'm tired of eating alone after three weeks of her being gone. And it wouldn't hurt to spend some time getting to know you, might work in your favor with Violet."
"I... Thank you. I shouldn't ask but has she mentioned me at all. God, I sound pathetic."
Allyn burst out laughing. "No more than the rest of us when we realize we can't live without them. Let's go see what we can scrounge up from the cook. Grab the scotch."
By the end of a very pleasant dinner Allyn knew several things. Dr. Dennison was a decent man with a quick intellect and Violet could have done much worse than fall in love with him. Dennison was head over heels in love with his sister. Lastly, he found he and Michael had much in common and he actually liked the man. If everything worked out well with the doctor and Violet, there were worse things than being friends with one's brother-in-law.
Violet arrived home several days later and Allyn told her about his dinner with Michael.
"Violet, I know you were upset but I really think he meant to apologize for being an ass. You women really do make us men crazed and we aren't truly equipped to deal with the confusion. I'm not saying you should rush into anything but I thought he was a decent man and he is in love with you. Though you haven't said it, I am sure you are in love with him too. Just think about it, is all I am saying."
"I know Michael is a wonderful man, and I know he loves me to a point, but Allyn, he won't allow himself to completely trust me but he asks just that from me. Maybe I am crazy, but there are parts of himself he has closed off and I just can't ignore them anymore. I have to wait till he comes to me, then I'll know he is ready to trust me. I'm glad you two talked though, one thing I realized the last couple of weeks is you and I don't have a lot of friends, plenty of acquaintances but few true friends. Maybe that is why I asked La Reine to come stay with us for a while. I think she would be a good fit at the foundation and I will enjoy having a sort of sister for a while." Violet looked at Allyn and he seemed pale compared to a minute ago. "Oh and I should warn you, she is especially looking forward to playing tricks on you."
"I... I... Oh, this is going to be bad." Allyn said under his breath.
"She is all grown up now so I can only imagine she will be better behaved."
"And she'll be staying here?"
"Where else? It isn't like we don't have the room. Relax, she'll stay in my wing, you won't even see her." Allyn highly doubted that.
Violet should have been looking forward to this night but with Michael still not having called her and the weather forecast she wasn't. She had already booked a room at the Continental for after the opera. Her opera to be precise, maybe that was part of the problem La Traviata now held not just memories of her mother but of Michael too. She knew by the time the opera was finished she would be sobbing but she had a duty to the board and she had to go.
She dressed carefully she wanted to look good but she needed something to keep her from falling apart. While she was in France she had gone lingerie shopping so she picked out some of her favorite pieces to wear tonight including a steel boned long corset. It made her feel like Violetta it was so beautiful. The way it pushed her breasts high and accentuated the curve of her waist and hips would have made any courtesan proud. The satin dress was simple in design but exposed her shoulders. She pulled out two of her mother's pearl combs and pulled the sides and front of her hair up. Looking in the mirror, she looked like a modern version of Madame X, minus the bustle. She pulled on opera length gloves and grabbed her velvet cape.
When she got to the bottom of the stairs Allyn looked her up and down, "You would be even more beautiful with a smile on your face." She laughed at him.
"Sure I can't convince you to come?"
"Not unless you are going to accompany me to the symphony?" Violet groaned, it was a long running joke between them. Allyn liked classical music unadulterated by words and 'visuals' as he called the pageantry of opera. Violet appreciated music of all kinds but sitting staring at a symphony orchestra was nothing short of boring to her. The only time they relented was Mozart operas and classical works.
"Not bloody likely!" Violet did her best impression of her slightly stuffy English brother.
"Brat. Enjoy yourself, you sure you'll be okay? The weather reports are all over the place but the storm may end up being bad."
"I've booked a room right next to the opera house so I should be able to walk there if nothing else. I'll be fine."
Chapter Eleven: The Opera
Traffic, of course, was awful. Everyone was trying to get where they wanted to be when the storm hit. She left the driver at the corner and walked the rest of the block. She noticed people staring at her and thought she must look odd dressed in these clothes with the long cape pulled around her, like she belonged in another time period. The first snow flakes were starting to fall and she felt her eyes burn with tears that threatened. It was the first snow of the season and she couldn't look at it now without thinking of Michael. She walked faster to escape the cold and because she was late.
The overture had already started and the lights dimmed by the time she found her seat in the box. As the music started to swell she felt a wave of sadness wash over her. She missed him like she would miss blood in her veins. These weeks without him hurt like none of her physical injuries ever had. The only thing to compare was the loss of her parents though she had survived that too. He had to see he could trust her completely. She took a deep breath to distance herself from her emotions, at least till the opera was over. She was warm enough now that she could remove her cape as the first act started. She thought she heard a noise behind her but before she could turn around she felt a warm hand on her shoulder.
"Shall I tell you the story of your opera?"
"Michael..." she sighed.
"Yes, Violetta. You are the most beautiful woman of your time. Could you love a wretch like poor unworthy Alfredo?" Violet bent her head to caress his hand with her cheek.
"Alfredo wasn't unworthy, just foolishly proud. He couldn't see how much she loved him."
"I've missed you Violet
." She could hear the pain in his voice and steeled herself against giving in.
"I've missed you too." Reaching up she took his hand from her shoulder and held it in hers. At first Michael stayed where he was but as Alfredo declared his love for Violetta, he moved beside her. As the lights came up for intermission, Violet released his hand. Michael leaned towards her to kiss her but she stopped him.
"Michael, Unless things have changed, please, don't. I... I'm just too fragile right now. They sat in silence absorbed in their thoughts till the house lights dimmed and the opera continued. This time it was Michael that reached for Violet's hand and held it. When the lights came up this time. Michael didn't release her hand. He wanted to tell her she meant everything to him, but the words wouldn't come. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles one by one.
"Violet, I know what you want from me, I just don't know if I can let go of the fear. I... want to try, does that count for anything. Can you give me the time to figure this out. I have been trying to work through this since you left."
Violet felt her heart swell. This incredible man, the same one who drove her to heights of ecstasy, who had taken such care of her, was afraid of losing her. She held his face in both her hands. She looked deep into his eyes with all the love she felt for him.
"Michael, if you are willing to try, I promise you I will be with you at every step. I want to be with you, hold you through the fear, what ever you need. All I was asking for was the chance to be there for you." The lights dimmed at that point and the music started. Michael dragged her from her seat on to his lap. He whispered in her ear.
"I just need to hold you, I promise." Violet could feel his warm breath on her shoulder and feel him trembling. She twisted so she could put her arms around his shoulders.
"I need to hold you too." she whispered as she lay her head on his shoulder as they watched the last act.
As every one left the opera they were met with a classic Nor'easter. Snow pelted down in blinding clumps. The wind whipped from all directions. Michael looked at Violet afraid to find that she would be panicked. Instead he was shocked to see that she was smiling. She glanced down at him as she settled her cape on her shoulders and pulled up the hood.