by L. C. Giroux
"Non, this is taking what is mine. You 'ave always been mine, you just did not know it."
"And are you mine?" His voice was soft and rough from their teasing.
"Allain, I was always yours." She reached up and twirled her fingers in his silky hair. "Now, make love to me again and then we need to find some food. J'ai faim!"
"As you wish my lady." He bent his head and began teasing her nipple with his teeth. She gave herself up to him completely as they made love again.
Later on deck, she could hardly bear to be separated from him, curling around him like a cat in heat. It was completely undignified but she didn't care. She let him deal with the sails but if he was sitting at the rudder she couldn't help herself and ended up in his lap or draped around him. He seemed to crave the contact as much as she did.
"Allain?"
"Yes, love?" She smiled in all the years she had known him, he had used little endearments for her but never that one before this trip.
"What are you going to tell Violet?"
He groaned. "Do we have to?" He had a wicked grin on his face. "Let’s just keep this to ourselves for a little bit. Can we?"
"Allain, I think you like this game." She liked seeing him playful. If he wanted to keep this a secret for a little longer it was fine with her. "But then you are going to 'ave to sneak me into your bed." She grinned back at him and watched his eyes flash with desire.
"I do like a challenge." and he pulled her onto his lap and started undressing her, kissing each bit he uncovered.
"Allain, you are not worried someone will see us."
"Right now, I couldn't care less." There was so much they needed to talk about but right now she needed him as much as he needed her. There would be lots of time to talk, later.
Chapter 8
Allyn couldn't remember a time feeling this happy. He'd told Marie on the boat that he wanted to keep their relationship a secret, the truth was that he wanted to have everything ready and ask her to marry him. He had dropped her off from the boat club and then raced to the bank to get his mother's ring from the safe deposit. It had been in the family forever and the different stones each had a special significance.
When he was coming back in he heard Marie talking to Violet. He should have known she wouldn't be able to keep the secret.
"Violet, you know I 'ave loved your brother forever." Allyn grinned to himself, Violet was never going to let him forget that she had been right and he was wrong. "But this Smith, O la la. 'e is exciting and daring. 'e is a bold lover where Allain is more sweet. I could not choose one only." Allyn backed away from the door quickly. He felt sick. She still wanted Smith. She wouldn't settle for just him. As always, he'd given his heart and lost. He clenched his fists in anger and frustration. The harder he clenched, the deeper the ring cut into his palm. He could only hope it left a scar so that he wouldn't forget how this felt. He needed to get out of here. He wasn't sure which was worse Marie coming to his bed or her not showing up. He'd use the hotel suite, except that would only serve to remind him of the night he spent there with her. Just a room would be better, regardless, he needed to get out of here before he did something rash.
"Allain? Où es tu? Ah, there you are. Where did you go last night? You missed dinner and... I waited for you to come to bed."
"Something came up, I had to go into town and ended up staying there."
"Is everything alright? You seem strange."
"I'm fine. Tired is all. I have a note for you from Smith." She couldn't help grinning from ear to ear. She had been telling Violet last night how she had fallen in love with both parts of Allain. One part was sweet, serious, and almost shy and the other was daring, sensuous, and playful. She could have been happy with just part of him but to have the sweetness and the surprise was much more fun. She opened the note, though it felt a little odd to read it in front of him.
"'e wants to see me tonight." She grinned at Allain. "I am to go to the 'otel near here. 'e said 'e would leave a key for me at the desk." She felt flushed and knew she was bright pink. Her belly was summersaulting wondering what he would do this time. The note said she should blindfold herself again. Would he finally reveal himself. After the weekend on the boat it seemed silly not to but they had never talked about it either.
"So you are going?" He looked so stern. He was taking this all too seriously. She was enjoying their game.
"Bien sûr! What do you think I should wear?" She leaned over to kiss him and he pushed away from her. She was surprised at his abruptness. "Sorry, I forgot you wanted to keep it a secret."
"Um, yes. I don't know what you should wear, something that will make you both happy I suppose." She winked at him.
"I know just what I can wear to surprise him. Are we going to lunch today?"
"No, I can't." Hmm, he must be grumpy from lack of sleep, maybe tonight she could convince him to take a nice warm bath while she scrubbed his back. The tub in the suite was big enough for both of them. "Actually I will be gone the rest of the day." She frowned, he was being difficult and distant, eh, he must just be tired or worried about something at work. The poor man took the whole world on his shoulders, he needed her to distract him just a little. Tonight she would make sure his worries were the last thing on his mind.
Allyn sat in his car in shock. She didn't even try to hide her delight that Smith was still chasing after her. She flaunted her meeting with him tonight. He wanted to be sick. How had he so misjudged her? She had always been imperious, even mischievous, but never cruel. How, after the weekend they had spent in each others arms, could she take such delight in torturing him? He felt as if his heart had been torn out of him. He was insane with the pain, this was much worse than losing her physically. She was still there, taunting him. His only thought was to stop the hurt by removing the cause. He'd meet her tonight as Smith and cauterize the wound, burn it, so it couldn't hurt anymore.
Marie couldn't stop smiling on the way up in the elevator. Last time she had been here Allain had carried her the entire way because she was blindfolded. It was silly, daring, and romantic, the perfect blend of the man she loved. It had felt odd having the feeling of having been here but no idea of where to go. The minute she set foot in the suite all the memories of that wonderful night came flooding back. The tenderness of his touch, the way he held her, the heights of passion that he brought her to -she felt herself break out in a sweat and her knees go weak just from remembering. They were going to be very good for each other.
She looked at her watch. She had left work a little early so she could settle her nerves some before he got here. She wanted to be a more active participant in this game he had set up. She smiled to herself as she looked around taking in the placement of the furniture. She wanted to surprise him but not be sitting there when he opened the door. She ruled out just waiting in the bedroom as too needy. He had to know she desired him but she wanted to tease him just a little first. She unpacked the champagne and put it in the ice bucket. Next came some cheeses, paté, and fruit. Would he let her feed him like they did the first night? All of the food she put on the coffee table in front of the couch. She turned one of the big club chairs so that it's back was to the door.
She started to undress and put her clothes away. Once she was naked she felt oddly shy. She was just being silly. No one would come in without a key and the only person that had the key would be Allain. She pulled the silk scarf from her coat pocket and folded it into a strip. She carefully tied it around her head over her eyes. She almost laughed out loud at the picture she must present. She felt for the arm of the chair and settled herself down to wait for Allain.
Allyn paced outside the door, fuming. He tried to calm himself, there had to be a perfectly reasonable explanation for her meeting Smith. Maybe she was going to tell him it was over. She hadn't acted like that was her intention earlier but maybe she had reconsidered. He couldn't breath and undid his tie and unbuttoned his collar. He ran his hands through his hair as he took a few deep breaths. He was sure that at th
is point he looked as out of control as he felt. He still had no idea what he was going to say to her.
When he opened the door he heard her gasp.
"Smith? Is that you?"
"Were you expecting some one else?"
"Non, it is just odd to sit 'ere without being able to see." He had forgotten about the blindfold but he could see it clearly now that she had turned toward the sound of his voice.
"I have missed you, Monsieur Smith." She was making his blood boil. To be so blatant in her affection for someone else drove him crazy. He loved her and thought she loved him. She had said so. Would she tell Smith the same thing? He stalked toward the chair and then stood stunned when he saw her. She sat there stark naked in a clear invitation to Smith to enjoy her body. She hadn't come to say goodbye, she intended to continue their relationship. "What are we going to do this evening, Monsieur?" Allyn ceased to recognize himself. The restrained gentleman was gone, all that remained was the primal animal defending his turf.
"Stand up." it came out as a growl but she must have understood him because she did as he asked. "Turn around." He tore the tie from his collar and quickly tied her hands behind her back. He ignored her gasp and the acceleration of her breathing.
"Monsieur, I liked the more sensual game we played last time. This one is a little rough, non?"
"New rules." He lifted her hands, not enough that he could really hurt her but enough that she couldn't fight him and had to do as he demanded.
"eh, that is uncomfortable. I don't know..."
"Quiet! You will only speak to answer my questions do you understand me?" He whispered this last part in her ear but she had to be able to hear the malice in his voice. He used her tied hands to push her forward to kneel on the couch. Then he turned her so that she faced the narrow end and forced her shoulders down. Now she was completely vulnerable. He stood beside her his breath rushing in and out of his mouth. He even sounded like an animal.
"You will answer my questions." He caressed her ass. "What did you do this weekend?"
"I went... Why are you doing this?"
"Not an answer." He gave her a light slap on the cheek of her ass. He saw her go rigid.
"I do not like this. Stop now." She was shaking. Allyn seemed to come back to himself some.
"Just tell me, do you love me?"
"I want you to untie me now!"
"Answer the question! Do you love me?" She seemed to crumple before his eyes. He could see tears escaping from behind the blindfold.
"Why are you doing this?"
"Do you love me?"
"Yes! Oui, I love you." Her words ended in a sob. Allyn leaned close to her ear.
"Pity, you mean nothing to me." Now she truly did start sobbing. Allyn stood and tugged on the tie binding her hands, pulling it off her. Then he turned on his heel and left. As he caught his breath outside the door, he heard her scream his name. My God! What had he done? He ran down the stairs as if he could escape from himself as easily as he could her.
Marie pulled the blindfold off and curled into a ball on the couch. As much as she tried to stop the tears, the harder they came till she was sobbing and had the hiccups from crying so hard. Eventually it started to get dark out so she got dressed and called Harold to come get her.
In the car she stared out the window in a trance. Allain didn't love her. Maybe he never did?
"Mademoiselle? Ça va bien? I have never seen you look so sad." She took a big breath that seemed to rattle in her chest.
"'arold, I... 'ave you ever been in love with someone and you knew, like breathing, that they loved you and found out you were wrong."
"I've only been in love once. There was a jolie fille I loved once in Haiti. My family didn't approve so they sent me to live with family in the Bahamas. When I finished school I went back to find her but her family had left the city. No one seemed to know where they had gone. I still think of her. If I could take back the years I would have fought my family harder, I would not have let her go so easily."
"Mais, did she love you?"
"I always thought so, we certainly told each other so, and showed each other love. Still she was gone when I came back so maybe she found someone else. I'll never know."
"I thought Allain loved me."
"Mr. Bellows does love you. He is so different around you than anyone else. Happier, more carefree. Before you got here, the man never looked like he enjoyed life, no- n'est pas vrai, around, Madam Dennison he would smile but everything else was a responsibility."
"Merci 'arold. I don't know the man I saw tonight but he was so different, so angry. I think I am going 'ome, back to France. I will have to talk to Violet tomorrow.
Allyn got into his car and drove, not really paying attention or caring where he was going. He was numb. What had he done? Had she known it was him? Was that why she had smiled at him as she ready the note. He was horrified at how he had treated her. He knew he hadn't physically hurt her with the way he had touched her. Still, his intent had been to intimidate her and he had succeeded. As the miles ticked away he desperately wished for a way to turn back time. She would leave him and it was his fault. He deserved to lose her.
At the Maine border he got coffee so he wouldn't fall asleep and turned around to drive home. He was hopeless that he could do anything to change the forgone conclusion to the disaster his life had become. Could he convince Michael to take over the foundation? Then he could just disappear for a while. Take the boat and sail off somewhere, except that he would be haunted constantly by the thought of all he'd lost.
"Oh Marie, I could kill him with my bare hands! I have no idea why that brother of mine acted like a complete jackass. Come here." Marie allowed herself to be folded into Violet's embrace and then the tears started all over again.
"Violet, Je ne comprends pas... 'e told me 'e loves me. I saw the love in his eyes, the way 'e touched me. Why would 'e do this?"
"Oh sweet, I don't know. Allyn has always held himself separate, especially after our parents died. I think he never really grieved for them like he should have. He lost everyone he had ever loved, even me almost. He was so young and suddenly everyone expected him to take care of everything. He was always too serious and responsible for his own good but after... He just buried himself in responsibility. Of course none of that excuses his behavior but it is the best I can do for an explanation. Are you sure you want to leave?"
"Oui, I think is is best, non? Peut être... 'e will realize it could work? I feel silly running away wishing 'e will come after me. Mais, what else can I do? You and Michel will visit and bring the bébé?"
"You know we will. I was going to ask you and Allyn to be god parents. Let you practice... Oh, I will ring his neck!" Violet held her stomach.
"Etes-vous d'accord, Violet? You look pale."
"I'm fine, I have had indigestion all morning. Don't worry about me. Go pack, I'll get Harold to take you to the airport. I'm just going to put my feet up and rest." Violet dozed in and out till she heard the front door slam.
"Allyn Robert Alasdair Bellows! You will tell me what the hell is going on right now!" Allyn walked in to the study but he barely resembled himself. Violet had never seen him as destroyed as this even when she was a child in the hospital. He had always been a rock, not a hair out of place. As if he actually believed that everything really would be alright as he said it would. This man was a shell of that one.
"Is she gone already?"
"Allyn, why?"
"I... I thought I was deceiving her, the only person I deceived was myself. Oh, Violet..." He fell to his knees next to her. Violet pulled his head on top of her and held him, stroking his hair. "I've lost her Violet. She'll never trust me, and she shouldn't. I became some kind of jealous animal. I thought she wanted Smith over me."
"Allyn, she always knew it was you. From the very first night, she knew." He just moaned.
Violet doubled over almost on top of him as a new wave of nausea hit. Allyn sprung up.
"Viole
t, how long have you been in labor?"
"It is just some indigestion. It started in the middle of the night."
"Did you tell your husband, the doctor?"
"No, I didn't want to bother him. He had surgery this morning."
"Good, then he'll be at the hospital when you get there. How far apart are the contractions? Allyn, I think you are blowing this out of proportion." When she tried to stand though her knees buckled. Allyn caught her before she could fall and laid her back on the couch. He pulled out his phone and tapped the code for Harold.
"Its time old man, think you can get her there quick? The silly girl has probably waited too long and we may have to deliver my niece or nephew in the limo. Bring it around and I'll have her ready in a minute." He ran out to the entry.
"Marie-Hélène! Violet is going to have her baby! Grab her bag, quickly." When she came to the top of the stairs his chest clenched at the sight of her. Now was not the time to try to salvage the wreck of his life; he had to get his sister to the hospital.
"I am going with you to the 'ospital!"
"Thank you. She waited too long, cross your fingers we can make it in time." They sat on either side of Violet on the way to the hospital each holding one of her hands. Violet emptied her stomach into the ice bucket on the way there. After that Allyn held her while Marie wiped the sweat from her face. Allyn had called Michael and he met them in emergency. They took Violet straight in to the birthing rooms and Marie went with her. Allyn found his way to the delivery waiting room. Marie hadn't looked at him the entire ride in. If he had thought there was any hope, the dead look in her eyes told him everything he needed to know. Whatever dream he'd had of their life together was over. Slowly, their friends began to arrive waiting for the birth of his niece or nephew. Jonah slapped him on the back and offered him a cigar. He pulled back when Allyn turned to look at him.
"Hey, she's going to be fine."
"Violet will, I'm not so sure about me."
"Did I miss something? Let's take a walk, you don't look good." Allyn poured out the events of the last couple of days.