As the adrenaline of the moment passes, the pains start to set in, my ribs and ankle complaining at their overuse. I flop ungracefully to the bed beside Ana, reaching my arm up behind my head to stretch out the muscles in my torso and adjusting my jeans back in place but leaving them unbuttoned. Just in case she’s interested in round two.
Ana hisses, sitting up to loom over me. For such a tiny thing, she’s surprisingly intimidating when she gets that Mean Nurse look on her face. “Damn it, I’m supposed to be treating your injuries, which you made worse in some juvenile attempt to lure me over here.” Her eyes flick down to my ankle, still laced into my boot, to my bare chest as she checks out my ribs. Her eyes repeatedly jump down to my crotch, though, and my cock responds, hardening more every time she glances its way.
“I gave you what you wanted, what I wanted too,” I murmur, the admission easy for me. “Admit it, Ana.”
I know I’m right. And in that moment, neither of us cared about anything else, the past, the future all giving way to the present moment. But she’s in denial, the fog of desire clearing from her mind and leaving her in doubt about what we just did. I can feel the retreat as she moves away to sit up on the edge of the bed, her back to me.
“We shouldn’t have. I shouldn’t have,” she says, shaking her head.
I can’t see her face, but I can hear the tinge of regret and it cuts me to the core. I don’t want to be her regret, a mistake. I regret enough for the both of us, and it’s an ugly emotion that eats away the core of your spirit. I don’t want that for Ana . . . especially not about me. She needs the light casualness still, even though there’s so much more going on. I’ll continue to give her the out for now. “Let me fuck the shit outta you?” I rumble. She doesn’t respond, so I continue, adding a hint of something deeper to test the waters. “You know there’s always been something combustible between us. That hasn’t changed, Ana. I don’t think it ever will.”
She looks back at me over her shoulder, her eyes tracing my body, and I fight to stay still, to not sit up and pull her to me, for another go or just to hold her, I’m not sure. But with a sigh, she stands and moves away from the bed, and the spell we’ve been under is broken, snapping as she gains distance from me.
She bends to grab her T-shirt and then yelps as she jumps. “Ahh.” Her wide eyes look around her feet and then she laughs. “Holy shit, Rex! You scared me!”
Rex barks back, answering to his name, and then plops his head up on the edge of the bed for a loving pat. “Good boy, Rex.”
“Did he just watch us have sex?” Ana asks, horror blushing across her face as she holds her shirt to her chest. Like Rex gives a shit about her bare breasts.
“I think he came in while you were busy riding my face and coming in my mouth,” I tease. Her mouth drops open in a pretty ‘O’ that I’d love to fill with my cock. I never saw Rex come in and wouldn’t have given it a second thought even if I had. But I can’t pass up the opportunity to tease her a bit.
She snaps her mouth closed as I grin at her, swiping my thumb along my lip as if there’s still some of her cream there. There isn’t. I’ve long since licked every drop of it from my lips.
Rex heads back into his favorite corner, the one where the sunbeam hits just right for him to sunbathe. His eyes are closed before he even settles on the floor.
Ana watches him, then turns back to me. “I need you to know this doesn’t change anything. Just a momentary lapse of judgement, giving in to all that . . .” She gestures her hands, apparently meaning all of me.
I’m on the verge of protesting, of pushing the matter and forcing her to admit that there’s more between us and always has been. But I’ll use whatever temptation I have at my disposal to keep her close. If it’s my body she wants, I’m not opposed to that . . . at least, for now. I stand from the bed, suppressing the wince from the movement to crowd right in front of her, our bodies inches apart. I casually reach down and adjust my cock with my palm, enjoying the way her eyes track my every movement and knowing that we both wish it were her hands on my cock. I can see the hitch in her breathing, the flush rising on her cheeks again. “Understood,” I say.
She looks disappointed at my lack of argument, and for a moment, I almost give in, but I know it’d backfire and give her ammunition against me, sending her running off once again. No, holding tight on my tongue, I let the silence stand, hoping that soon, I’ll be able to speak more freely and tell her the truth about what happened all those years ago and that she’ll actually listen to me.
Letting the seed plant and hoping that it’ll lead to her wanting more, I switch topics to throw her off-balance a bit. “You know what you need?” I let the question hang in the air and watch the dirty thoughts race across her face with a groan. “Mmm, yeah, that too, but I was gonna say that you came up here to get away, be with nature, and have an adventure. Right?”
Ana bites her lip. “Well, yeah. It’s supposed to be a vacation, to relax and unwind. Not nursing a stubborn oaf who won’t do as he’s told. Speaking of, no more games to get me running over. You could’ve really hurt yourself. Also, you’re on your feet . . . again.” Her tone belies the suppressed eye roll.
I shrug. “It was a calculated risk. And it was damn worth it, if I say so myself. You know what you do to me, Ana.” I let my need for her into my voice even though I honestly mean more than the physical effect of being near her, but her eyes track right back to my cock, thick and hard between us. I groan, the warning clear in my voice as I chastise her. “Ana, I’m trying to have a conversation with you here, but if you keep looking at my cock, I’m gonna push you to your knees and make you suck me into that mouth that keeps dropping open in invitation.”
There’s a beat of hesitation where we both think she might actually do that, especially when I see the way her bare thighs are pressing together, but it passes with a huff of indignation. “Ugh . . . such a caveman.” She turns to stomp off, but I catch her arm in my hand.
“Ana, what I was trying to say before we both got so distracted . . .” I pause, giving her a hard look, daring her to disagree with me, but she stays silent so I continue. “is that you should let me take you hunting. I told you at lunch that I hunt most of what I eat. Cutting logs in the middle of nowhere doesn’t exactly afford weekly trips to Trader Joe’s. Let me show you. Let me take you on an adventure.”
“I don’t think so. You need to stay off your ankle, not go traipsing through the woods,” she argues. “I can’t allow that. Nurse’s orders.”
“You act as though you have a choice. I’m going hunting, need to so that I can eat. You can stay here, holed up in your cabin and worrying about me. Or you can go with me, see some beautiful scenery, and make sure I’m being a good boy and don’t do anything too stupid.” It’s a risk and I know it. She might rise to the challenge or ditch me in favor of couch surfing.
The ‘no’ is on the tip of her tongue, but I can see the ‘yes’ swirling in her eyes as she battles internally. Finally, she reaches a compromise . . . with herself and with me. “Fine, but only if we wait until tomorrow. You’ve already overdone it, so stay off your foot for the rest of today. Then tomorrow, we’ll go hunting. As long as the trip is short, and heavy on the sightseeing more than the hunting. Deal?”
“Deal,” I growl, more than satisfied with her terms.
Chapter 12
Ana
I should’ve fucking known better. I thought I’d sketched out a pretty fair deal where Aubrey would spend the remainder of the day resting his ankle and ribs. I’d pictured him propped up on the couch, dozing with his eyes closed as he followed my orders to stay off his foot. That picture also included me going back to my cabin for a nap and a night by the fire. Alone.
When Aubrey agreed to wait for our hunting trip, he’d pictured the two of us hanging out in his cabin for the rest of the day and evening. I’d done my best to argue, but deep down, I’d known I was going to stay. And that’s how I find myself, once again, warming up soup a
nd serving him dinner on the couch. At least there’s a fire.
Wait. He started a damn fire while I was in the kitchen. I give him a side-eye of disapproval, but he just slurps his soup happily, ignoring my silent reprimand. That man. I don’t know whether to wallop him upside the head to force him to stay down or marvel that he’s able to be up and around at all. Most guys would take advantage and hold court on the couch, not bothering to lift a finger to help. But not Aubrey. He’s fighting to still do things . . . work and take care of himself and me. The thought gives me a warm fuzzy for a moment before I remember that he wasn’t always one to fight for me. He was the guy who just walked away.
I shake my head, letting the thought rattle loose. If this is going to work, these days next to each other, especially the time spent together, we’re going to have to stay solidly in the present. No past, no future, no big conversations about what happened. I won’t say that I’m not curious, of course. I’ve spent nights awake, tossing and turning, wondering what the hell happened. But it’s been years, and nothing he can say would make it okay, so it’s better to just live in a fantasy world for the next week where we are strangers who just met and have amazing chemistry. Nothing more, nothing less. A short-lived adventure.
Sounds easy enough, but it makes conversation a veritable minefield where every personal question could explode in my face. Thinking carefully, I venture, “It’s beautiful up here. Do you get many guests at the other cabin?”
Shit. Way to go, Ana. That totally sounds like you’re fishing to see if he’s fucking a different woman every week. Well, actually, I would kinda like to know that. But surely, most guests to a remote cabin aren’t single women, right? I bury my face in my soup bowl, hoping he doesn’t see the embarrassment on my face.
He grunts. “This is my favorite place on Earth, I think. Just me and Mother Nature, peace and quiet. You’re actually my first guest at the cabin. Carlotta just made the brochure and the online ad for it.”
I feel the flinch before I can stop it, and know Aubrey saw it too by the grin on his face. “Carlotta is a marketing genius. And my second cousin, so no need to get jealous.”
I sputter helplessly. “I’m not jealous. You just seem to like being alone up here on your mountain of solitude, so I was surprised you had someone to help you with the advertising.” The argument sounds weak even to my ears, but thankfully, Aubrey lets it go unchallenged.
“I have spent the better part of a few years alone up here, so I was glad to have her help. Seems to have worked better than I’d ever hoped.” The comment hangs heavily, but I don’t give in to answering. After a moment, he continues, “So, tell me about you, Ms. Nurse Extraordinaire.”
It’s small talk, a capitulation to my stated desire to keep things light, casual. I both appreciate it and hate it. I feel like the most wishy-washy of women in the history of time, wanting him to force the topic to the elephant in the room while simultaneously wanting to run lest that elephant stomp my heart to smithereens once again.
Fear of the true story of our past makes the decision for me, and I launch into a superficial answer. “I went to nursing school and worked my ass off for top grades so that I could get the placements I wanted. After school, I was lucky enough to get on at St. Joseph’s Memorial Hospital. I spent a year working whatever shifts, whatever department they needed me in, basically being low man on the totem pole and taking what I could get. I’ve paid my dues a bit now and have learned a lot, so I’m lucky to work in critical care more often than not. It’s my favorite, helping people through crises, but getting to know them longer than just a quick run through the emergency department. It was actually a patient who first gave me the prompt to take a vacation.”
I smile as I think of Mrs. Smith and hope she’s okay. By the time I left for vacation, she had been discharged and was happily and healthily under the care of her children once again. I think she’d be proud that I actually followed through and went on vacation. I wonder what she’d say about the whole situation with Aubrey, though.
Aubrey smiles as I talk, listening intently. He raises his glass of tea in salute. “To your patient’s good suggestion.” He takes a drink to finish the toast and then continues as I drink too. “Sounds like you work hard, but I can tell you love it by the way you talk about it.”
I nod. “I do love it. I love helping people, caring for them when they need it, ensuring they get better and can return to their lives. It’s fulfilling. What about you? What do you do up here everyday?” I purposefully word the question carefully, not asking how he ended up here, sensing that might take us down a dangerous road.
Aubrey swallows another sip of tea, looking out the window. “Mostly chop wood . . . for myself and for the businesses I contract with. I deliver into town once a week or so. I hike out to clear felled trees when possible. Sometimes, I hike for the hell of it or play fetch with Rex, hunt, and tend the garden as it needs it. It doesn’t sound like much, but keeping everything going is a full-time job, sunup to sundown.”
“It sounds very . . . outdoorsy.” It truly does, but that wasn’t my first thought. My first thought was that it sounds really lonely. I knew he was alone out here, had even joked about the solitude. But I guess I figured he saw people more than once a week. I try to reconcile that with my life, the constant conversation with patients, the chatter at the nurses’ station with coworkers, the phone calls with family and friends. By the end of the day, I usually crave some quiet. But I think Aubrey would crave conversation. But maybe not? He’s out here alone for a reason, after all, whatever that may be.
“Yeah, it definitely is that. But I like it. I did the rat race thing for a while, and it wasn’t for me, the hustle and bustle, the competition for no good reason beyond bragging rights, and the constant need for more status, more money, more power.” He shakes his head, obviously remembering those times, and I wonder when that was, how long after he left me, and what got him there. But I hold my tongue and don’t ask. “Out here, I feel calmer, more connected with what’s really important, just me and Rex hanging out, appreciating the beauty of the woods as they go through the seasons.”
Deciding the question is worth the risk, I wade into the deeper waters. “Don’t you get lonely up here? If you only see folks in town once a week, how do you keep from going stir-crazy?”
He hums, obviously thinking about his answer, which I appreciate. “I do sometimes, I guess. Carlotta comes for dinner a couple of times a month, and my days in town are usually long, so by the time I get home, I’m all peopled out. But mostly, Rex and I manage just fine. Unless it’s weird that I talk to him and he talks back? That’s not weird, right?” He’s joking, his eyes sparkling even though his smirk is hidden in the tight line of his lips.
I adopt a wise doctor affect as I give my diagnosis. “Nope, talking to your dog is perfectly normal. As long as he only barks or eyeballs you back, I think you’re fine. If he’s talking in actual words, it might be cause for concern.”
Aubrey laughs a full, hearty chuckle from deep in his throat and the rumbles vibrate the room. It’s a melodic sound, baser than a tolling bell, and it makes my belly flip-flop. I smile back, confessing, “I don’t have any pets—way too busy to take proper care of them. It wouldn’t be fair, but I have been known to talk to my plants. Studies show it helps them grow and stay healthy. So I think we’re both perfectly sane.”
The smile on his face says clearly that he’s certain neither of us is entirely sane, especially given the circumstances of where we’re sitting and the danger we’re playing with. “Come here,” Aubrey murmurs, more demand than request. I should run back to my cabin, back home to the city, but I don’t. Instead, I walk slowly toward the couch, following his commands and sitting down gingerly beside him so as not to hurt his ribs or ankle.
“I’m not broken, woman.” Aubrey wraps his arms around me, manhandling me to move us both into the position he wants. I find myself lying on my side, half-on and half-off Aubrey as he lies on his bac
k on the couch. It’s warm and comfortable, which makes me tense. But slowly, his fingers running up and down my arm soothes me and I relax against him.
After a few minutes of quiet stillness, I realize that Aubrey’s breathing has evened out and he’s drifted off. He must’ve been more tired than either of us realized after his wood-chopping stunt and then the energetic fucking. His body is probably drained, without reserves to use to heal. I decide to let him rest and snuggle up against him, bound and determined to rest myself too.
But my mind roars with questions. What happened back then? Do I really want to know? What the hell happened today, and am I going to do it again? Do I want to? Does he?
I try to be still, not wanting to disturb him, but I eventually give in and get up carefully so as not to wake him. I stand over the couch, watching with bated breath to insure Aubrey continues dozing. Rex lifts his head from his paws, his protective gaze evaluating me, and I give him a pat to the head to reassure him that I mean no harm.
Quietly, I gather our soup bowls and tea glasses, moving into the kitchen to wash them. Once that’s done, I feel an overwhelming urge to snoop, to find the answers to some of my questions without going to the source. But I won’t do that. It’s wrong, and if I’m going to give in to the urge to know, I want to hear it straight from Aubrey’s lips and watch his eyes when he tells me why he did what he did.
In an attempt to busy myself without waking Aubrey, I wander outside to the back porch. There’s a cushioned rocking chair and a small table with what looks to be a half-formed wood figurine on it. I smile, realizing that although he didn’t mention it, Aubrey must do a little whittling too. The image of him rocking the evening away, deeply concentrating as he putzes with tiny slivers of wood, is adorable in my mind’s eye.
I step off the porch, my eyes sweeping along the expanse of trees and sky, taking in the beautiful grandeur with an inhale of fresh air. Lifting my face to the sun, I say a vow of thanks for the day, this messy, dirty, emotional, lovely day, with Aubrey in this forest paradise.
Untamed (Irresistible Bachelors Book 9) Page 9