by Bush, Holly
“Well, you certainly weren’t yourself in your writing.”
Olive looked up at her life long friend. No, she thought, I was you. With her black hair pulled back tightly and navy blue traveling dress, buttoned to the top, Theda looked to Olive just as she had probably looked to everyone in Spencer. A prim proper spinster whose lips pursed at the slightest infraction of propriety. Uncomfortable with any mention of the very real, sometimes painful, occasionally embarrassing facts of life. A brother’s shortcomings, a father’s secrets, children’s suffering but most clearly that mystical joining of men and women in the marriage bed that haunted Olive’s dreams.
“I will admit, Theda, my stay in Spencer has changed the way I look at things.”
“It certainly must have. When I read that you had decided to stay here and build a home, I was shocked. I must have read the letter three times and yet still I could not believe it.”
Olive looked down at her folded hands and back to Theda’s unwavering regard. She knew her closest friend was waiting for a reason or an explanation and chose her words carefully.
“When I first came here, and saw how James had lived and what a terrible condition John and Mary were in, I admit, I wanted nothing more than to run back to Church Street and hide. But I knew I could not abandon them, either. And at first when Jacob offered to let me stay at his house, I was shocked and offended. But what was I to do? Mary barely spoke a civil word and John didn’t speak at all. They looked like street urchins and smelled like them too. Jacob was the only constant and steady influence in their lives. And I decided to put aside my own fears and sometimes silly notions of right and wrong and do what was best for those children.”
“Being married before living with a man is not a silly notion.”
Olive laughed. “I know that Theda. We hardly lived together as man and wife. He stayed in the barn with the boys until Sophie’s father paid us a visit.”
Theda questioned her and Olive retold the story of the beating she had received at the hands of her brother’s father-in-law. Theda’s eyes opened wide and her hand covered her mouth.
“My, God, Olive, what kind of people are they? Monsters?”
“Horrible people, Theda. And that’s who John and Mary would have legally belonged to if I hadn’t claimed them,” Olive said.
“Dear, merciful God. And that’s why you decided to stay. The children wouldn’t come and you could not leave them.”
Olive bowed her head. “There are other reasons as well.”
Theda sat straighter.
Olive could not stop a smile. “I found I liked it here. It’s beautiful and clean. I’ve made friends. I came to adore Jacob’s children and things happened that have never happened to me before.”
“Such as?” Theda prodded.
“The sheriff asked me to dance at a social apparently because he wanted to,” Olive said.
“Did you?”
“I most certainly did. Life is slipping away from us as we speak and I refuse to let another second of my life go by without some pleasure for myself,” Olive replied. Theda’s look of shock and confusion was nearly comical.
“But Olive, we’re spinsters. We always will be spinsters. Pleasure is not a pursuit meant for women like us.”
“What are women like us meant for?” Olive asked quickly.
“Well, well . . . ”
“We sit and worry and wait and God forbid we enjoy something, anything in the mean time. Well, I for one refuse to live like that again. Mother, Father, James, all dead and we will be as well, Theda, faster than we realize.” Olive halted and stared hard at Theda. “Jacob kissed me and I would do it again. And even more, maybe.”
Theda’s mouth dropped and her eyes widened. “I knew it. He compromised you. I just knew it. Well, don’t you worry, Olive, I’m here and I’ll set him straight. Of all the arrogant . . .”
Olive heard the wagon pull into the yard. “No, no, Theda. It wasn’t like that.”
But the women would not be stopped. “And you in a vulnerable state with the children and James’ death. Some men just cannot control themselves, Olive. Your mother and mine as well warned us of this behavior.”
The sheriff, Jacob and all five children came through the front door on Theda’s last words. She stood, straight and stiff, eyes hard and lips tight as she focused in on Jacob’s face.
“You . . . you cad!” Theda shouted.
Olive’s hand flew to her mouth as Theda screeched at Jacob. Jacob’s eyes widened and his mouth opened to speak but not before Theda began again. “To take advantage of a woman in her state, well, it’s just too much to bear.”
“What are you talking about, woman?” Jacob said.
“I’m not your woman and neither is Olive,” Theda snapped and stepped close to Jacob.
The sheriff stepped between Jacob and Theda. “You took liberties with Miss Wilkins, Jacob?”
“No, I mean, it was nothing . . . “
“Not nothing where I come from. Let’s step outside and settle this like men,” the sheriff growled.
Olive could not squeeze in a single syllable above the shouting and she glanced at Mary as the adults argued. The girl watched wide-eyed and a sly smirk formed on her face.
“There’s nothing to settle here, sheriff. Nothing much happened and anyway it’s between us if it did,” Jacob shouted.
Mary yanked at Theda’s sleeve and the woman turned. “He sure was kissing her and holding her tight on the porch, when I saw them.”
“And in front of the children. Have you no shame?” Theda shouted shrilly.
Olive gave Mary a look that shut the girl’s mouth and stood trying to get everyone’s attention. “Enough,” she yelled.
All heads turned Olive’s way with her shout. She was red-faced and angry, but when Olive looked from one seething face to the other, she could not deny the humor in the drama before her. Never had the word irony had a truer meaning. Theda’s convinced I’ve been compromised, the sheriff wants to settle it with fists and poor Jacob’s caught in the middle. All over her, she thought. Olive the spinster. Her belly laugh began as a giggle and the sheriff and Theda stared wide-eyed at her. “I’m sorry,” she managed to say. “I know . . . I know I shouldn’t laugh but . . .”
“She’s hysterical, sheriff,” Theda said. “I wonder if there are smelling salts in the house.”
“I’m not . . . I’m not hysterical,” Olive said after she took a deep breath. “Not that it’s anyone’s business, but Jacob and I exchanged a few kisses. That’s all. Certainly nothing as dramatic as all this.”
The sheriff narrowed his eye and said, “You’re sure?”
“Yes, certainly I’m sure. Theda misunderstood something I said and got the wrong idea. Its not like we were two-stepping or anything,” Olive said.
“Two-stepping?” Theda asked.
The sheriff, Olive and Theda exchanged glances and when recognition occurred Theda’s face grew scarlet and she hemmed and hawed looking at everything but another face. Olive’s head turned when Jacob laughed out loud. And kept laughing.
He tried to draw breath but could only mumble something about the look on Theda’s face. Olive found his laughter contagious and was soon giggling as well. The sheriff walked out of the house and slammed the door. That only brought more peals of laughter from Olive and Jacob.
Theda looked at her hands and primly asked, “I would like to freshen up if you don’t mind.”
Olive opened the door to her bedroom. Theda sashayed through, head high, skirts swinging. Her exit did nothing to quiet Jacob.
Jacob and Olive’s eyes met and they began to laugh again. Olive held her mouth pursed trying to calm herself. “I think Theda was shocked,” she said finally.
“That’s an understatement. I thought her eyes were going to bulge right out of her head when she realized what two-stepping was,” Jacob said and smiled.
Olive’s eyes flew to the ceiling and her face colored as she thought about what Theda had b
een thinking and how the same thought rarely left her head. But her smile for Jacob, remained.
“What’s two-stepping, Daddy?” Peg asked.
Olive and Jacob turned around and saw four sets of eyes regarding them. “Well. . .” Jacob began.
“That’s what the sheriff and Aunt Olive were doing at the dance,” Luke replied.
Olive swallowed. “It is a dance step of sorts, children.” She felt Jacob’s eyes on her and when she looked at him he was grinning at her.
“Come on boys. Let’s get Olive’s furniture unloaded,” Jacob said and stopped at the door. “Unless the sheriff dumped it out of the back without us.” Jacob winked at Olive and stepped on to the porch.
Olive could not understand why her heart missed a beat at Jacob’s acknowledgement of their secret with a sly wink. But it did and she sighed, aloud. She turned and saw Mary holding Mark and regarding her. Olive forced herself to appear serious as she reached to take the infant from the girl’s arms. Olive cooed to Mark and he turned into her as she watched the men unload her furniture.
Olive could see Jacob’s temper grow short, though as she had the men move her furniture time and again in the small room.
“There’s only so many ways all this junk’s going to fit,” Jacob said.
“It’s not junk,” Olive said as she moved the dresser another quarter of an inch. “There,” she said finally and surveyed the room. “Perfect.”
“This is how you had it in the beginning. An hour ago when we started.”
“I just needed to see all my options,” Olive said and placed embroidered dresser scarves atop the polished wood.
“I’m getting something cold to drink,” Jacob said.
“It looks beautiful, Olive,” Theda said.
Olive smiled and watched Peg fiddle with the matching brass knobs on the wardrobe.
“You take your time placing your things where you want them,” the sheriff said, red-faced from the exertion. “I’ll come back and move them for you again if you like.”
She looked up from the sheriff and realized his casual words where a challenge of sorts. “Would you like some tea, sheriff?”
“Don’t mind if I do,” he said and pulled his hat from his head to wipe his sweating forehead.
Theda served the tea and explained to Mary the correct service as she went. “Yes, dear, hold the glass at the bottom.”
Mary rolled her eyes and did as she was told. The kitchen was silent until Jacob spoke. “You put your sewing machine in the kitchen, Olive?”
Olive nodded. “Since I use it so much, I wanted to have it in here. Where all the activity is. I can watch the children from the window and see to supper on the stove as I work.”
“Olive?” the sheriff said. She turned to him and smiled. “There’s another dance this Saturday. I would be happy to come out and escort you and Miss Patterson, if you’d like.”
“I’m close by here, sheriff. I’ll drive them if they want to go,” Jacob said.
“Well, I’m asking Miss Wilkins if she’d like me to come out and escort her,” the sheriff fumed.
“I’m sure Olive,” Jacob paused, “would be as happy as pie if I drove her in.”
The two men eyed her, waiting for an answer. “I didn’t even know there was a dance on Saturday,” Olive said.
“Always is before the crops come in,” the sheriff replied and glared over his glass at Jacob. “I don’t ever remember you coming to often to the dances.”
Jacob smirked and leaned forward. “I think I’ll be coming to this one.”
The sheriff’s face colored.
Olive watched and listened to the undercurrent between the two men. She could not stop the foolish notion of herself as the damsel as two knights battled for her hand. This was a new feeling for Olive and she conceded it felt wonderful.
“We’ll have to see at the end of the week. Theda and I may want to stay home.”
“You just let me know, Olive,” the sheriff said. “I sure hope you decide to come and I’d like you to save me a dance if you do.”
Olive smiled at the sheriff and turned to find Jacob watching her.
“She may not have too many dances to spare, sheriff. A single woman as pretty as her,” he said.
Olive’s shoulders dropped and her stomach flopped on Jacob’s words. Her eyelashes fluttered and she could have only described her own words as tittering. “That’s sweet of you to say.”
“Don’t you have to be getting back to town, sheriff?” Jacob asked.
The sheriff eyed Jacob and slowly stood from his chair. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Can’t be lollygagging around, like some.”
Jacob sat still in his chair as the sheriff nodded at Theda and tipped his hat to Olive. He went to the door and turned. “Just let me know about Saturday, Olive.”
She smiled and thanked him for his help with the furniture. Jacob nodded stiffly to Theda and Olive followed him onto the porch. “Thank you, Jacob.”
A slow smile crept to his lips as he asked, “Will you tell me what your friend has to say about two-stepping?”
Olive grinned. “Ladies never, and certainly not Theda and I, acknowledge publicly any understanding of two-stepping.”
Jacob’s eyes heated and bored into Olive. “I told you, I’d be happy to show you. If you’re ever curious.”
Their conversation, to Olive’s surprise, had turned quickly from casual bantering to a smoldering exchange of understanding. She blushed and looked away. “Really, Jacob. That’s not something you say to someone other than a wife.”
“You’re right, Olive. I’ll tell you though, I haven’t belly laughed like I did today with anyone other than Margaret. Maybe that makes us, well, I don’t know, more than just friends. What do you think?”
“I consider you a friend.”
“Good. Cause I sure would be wondering why the notion of you dancing with the sheriff puts me in a foul mood, if we weren’t at least friends.” Jacob gathered Mark in his arms and called to Luke and Peg.
Olive watched the children smile and wave as Jacob drove them away. She entered her house in a fine mood and found Theda staring at her strangely.
“You remind me of Hester Hawkins,” Theda whispered.
Olive’s eyes rounded as she thought of the woman back home. Hester, in Theda and Olive’s opinions, threw herself at every unmarried man within a hundred miles. Olive wondered now if her judgments were too harsh. “Hardly, Theda,” she said and carried glasses to the sink.
“Really, Olive, I thought there for a moment you were going to swoon or drop a hanky to see who would pick it up,” Theda said quietly, looking at Mary.
“I have to say I enjoyed the attention,” Olive said.
“Is that why you were making eyes at Jacob on the porch just now?” Mary asked.
Olive’s eyes opened wide and her mouth dropped. “Mary, were you spying on us?”
Mary smirked. “I just went to the door to see what Miss Patterson was looking at.”
“I was trying to see where the other children were, that’s all,” Theda answered casually.
“So you both were eavesdropping,” Olive gasped.
“Couldn’t hear much,” Mary added and looked from one woman to the other.
“Mary, why don’t you go check on John,” Olive said. The girl stood slowly and inched her way out of the room. Olive watched her tarry and waited patiently until the screen door slammed. “Theda, I can hardly believe you would listen to my conversation.”
Theda’s eyes narrowed. “Blame me if you will but as your closest friend I felt it was my obligation to see exactly how far this relationship has gone. Remember Alfred Smith?”
“Alfred Smith?” Olive said. “What does Alfred Smith have to do with this?”
“He was fast,” Theda whispered. “You knew that as well as I did and yet you still went to the ice cream parlor with him.”
“We were fourteen years old,” Olive shouted.
Theda’s eyes rose and
she primly looked at Olive. “You needed my advice then and you may need it now.”
“I’m an adult. What I do with Jacob Butler can hardly be compared to a sallow faced boy I knew twenty years ago.”
“So tell me, Olive, what do you do with Jacob Butler?” Theda asked.
Olive’s face colored and her head tilted. “Nothing really.”
Theda leaned in close and checked right and left for listeners. “Has he touched you in any place you consider private.”
Olive knew what Theda meant. It was how their mother’s warned them of boys a million lifetimes ago. “He kissed me. I nearly fainted the first time.”
“The first time, uh huh, there have been other occasions,” Theda said and sat back in her chair, drumming her fingers on the kitchen table.
Olive felt her face redden and she was mentally transported back to her bedroom as her mother questioned her about Albert Smith. “The first time he kissed me was while he was apologizing for rubbing on my backside while I was sleeping.”
Theda’s eyes widened. “He had his hand on your . . .backside?”
Olive’s mouth pulled to one side. “Well, not his hand exactly.”
Theda’s mouth dropped. She cleared her throat and stumbled, “What exactly was rubbing on your backside?”
Olive could not answer and sat and stared at her friend.
“I see,” Theda said wide eyed.
Olive knew for a fact that Theda did not see. “There was a storm after the last dance. By the time we got home we were all soaked and I had left the window open above the girl’s and my bed. The roof came off the barn over he and the boy’s bed, and it was wet as well. The children were frightened by the storm and we all slept in front of the fireplace. When I woke up, Jacob’s arm was around my waist and he was asleep with his stomach up against my back.”
“And?” Theda persisted.
Olive’s eyes flew to the ceiling as she recalled the most intimate moment of her life. “Well, when I woke up, he was rubbing his hips against my back side.”
“Oh,” Theda said and sat quietly for a moment. “Were you in your bedclothes?”
“Yes. We were sleeping,” Olive said impatiently.
“Oh.”
The two women sat silently and Olive continued. “The next day, I tried to excuse his behavior and continue on since I was living there with him and he ended up kissing me.”