by Anne Mather
‘Unthinkable?’ Carys planted her hands on her hips as she stared into the proud, arrogant face of the man she’d once loved. ‘He’s been Leo Wells since he was born and he’s been just fine, thank you very much.’
‘Just fine?’ Alessandro shook his head abruptly, voice deepening and nostrils flaring with disapproval, the epitome of masculine scorn. ‘You think it fine that my son is born illegitimate?’
For a moment Carys stared helplessly into his dark, heated gaze, reading indignation and outrage.
In a perfect world Leo would have been born into a loving family with parents who were permanently committed to each other. But that hadn’t been an option.
‘There are worse things in the world,’ she said quietly, wrapping her arms round her torso as old pain tore through her. The pain of lacerated dreams.
She’d done everything she could to ensure Alessandro had known about her pregnancy. But even if he’d known, even if he’d proposed marriage, nothing could change the fact that he wasn’t a man she could trust with her heart. Or that she’d never fit into his world.
Silence hung between them as he stared down at her.
‘And you think my son will continue to be just fine growing up in a run-down tenement among thieves and pimps?’ One haughty eyebrow rose to a lofty height and Carys felt the weight of his disapproval push down on her.
‘You’re exaggerating,’ she countered, ignoring a twinge of guilt that she hadn’t been able to find somewhere better. ‘It’s not that bad. Besides, I’m planning to move.’
‘Really? And how will you find better premises on your wage?’
His supercilious tone made Carys bite her lip in frustration. It didn’t matter that her salary was the best she could get with her qualifications or that she worked hard for the money she earned. In the long term her prospects were good for promotion. But in the meantime…
‘I will provide for Leo. I always have.’
For a moment Alessandro’s gaze seemed to soften. ‘It must have been difficult, managing on your own.’
Carys shrugged. She didn’t dwell on that. On the fact that her siblings and father, scattered as they were around the globe, hadn’t found time to visit when Leo was born, or afterwards. They’d sent gifts instead. A money box from her advertising executive sister in Perth. A set of children’s books Leo couldn’t read for years from her physicist brother in New Zealand. An oversized fluffy rabbit from her brother at a medical outpost in New Guinea. And from her dad in Canada money to secure the bond on her flat.
They meant well and they cared in their distant, uninvolved way. But how she’d longed for one of them to make the effort to be with her when she’d felt so alone. When depression had vied with excitement and determination as she struggled on her own.
Defiantly Carys met the eyes of the one person who’d had the right to be at her side when Leo came into the world.
But that time was past.
‘I’m used to managing alone.’ Years younger than her siblings, the late child of parents engrossed in demanding careers, she’d virtually brought herself up. ‘Leo and I are OK.’
‘OK isn’t enough for my son. He deserves more.’
Carys compressed her lips, fighting the urge to agree. The doting mother in her wanted Leo to have the best opportunities. The sort of opportunities a working single mum couldn’t provide.
‘What Leo needs is love and a secure, nurturing environment. I give him that.’ She defied him to disagree.
‘Of course he does. And we’ll provide it. Together.’
Had Alessandro stepped closer? His eyes mesmerised and his persuasive dark coffee tone made the impossible sound almost sensible.
Carys gave herself a mental shake.
‘There’s no question of together. What we had is over.’
It died two years ago, when you betrayed me with another woman then accused me of being unfaithful. She didn’t say it out loud. There was no point in revisiting the past. Carys had to focus on the future, on what was best for Leo.
‘It will never be over, Carys.’ His voice dropped to a caress, like the stroke of velvet on bare, shivery skin. ‘We have a child together.’
She clasped her hands before her, horrified to find them shaking. His words conjured images that were too vivid, too enticing, of what it had been like when they’d been lovers.
‘But that’s no reason for marriage! You’ll have access to him, see him as he grows.’ It was a father’s right. Besides, despite the emotional turmoil it would cause her to see Alessandro regularly, it was a relief that Leo would grow up knowing his father. Every boy deserved—
‘Access?’ The word shot out like bullet. ‘You think that’s what I want? What my son needs?’
This time it wasn’t her imagination. Alessandro obliterated the space between them with a single stride. He loomed above her like an impregnable mountain citadel. Unmoving and unforgiving. Utterly forbidding.
She trembled at the impact of his powerful presence. Energy radiated from him. A dangerous undercurrent of power.
‘You have strange ideas about fatherhood. I’ve already missed the first year of my son’s life. I don’t intend to miss any more.’ His clipped words revealed gleaming white teeth as they bit out each word. Involuntarily Carys shrank a little.
‘I just meant—’
‘I know what you meant.’ He paused, scrutinising her as if she came from another planet. ‘Leo is my son. My flesh, my blood. I refuse to be a part-time visitor in his life while he grows up on the other side of the world.’
‘But marriage!’ Her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth on the word. ‘The idea is absurd.’
Alessandro’s eyes darkened. His face stiffened and his lips thinned. ‘I assumed you’d prefer that to the alternative.’
‘Alternative?’ Carys’ voice was a cracked whisper as foreboding slammed into her. That look in his eyes…
‘A legal battle for custody.’
CHAPTER EIGHT
CARYS’ fingers twisted into knots as he said the words she’d been dreading. She swallowed convulsively, forcing down fear. ‘I’m his mother. Any court would give me custody.’
‘You’re sure, Carys?’An infinitesimal shake of his dark head accompanied the words, as if he pitied her naivety. ‘You have a good lawyer? As good as my legal team?’
Plus the Mattani millions to back them up. The words were unspoken, but Carys heard them nonetheless.
‘You wouldn’t…’ Her voice petered out as she met his unblinking stare. He would. He’d do what it took to get Leo.
Jerkily she swung away, frantic for breathing space. For time to marshal her jumbled thoughts. Her chest cramped so she could barely breathe and her head pounded as tension crawled up her spine and wrapped clammy fingers around her temples.
He was wrong. He must be! No court would take a child from his mother.
And yet…Carys stumbled to a stop in front of a massive window commanding a view of the city.Alessandro’s wealth and power were far beyond anything she or her family, if they were so inclined, could gather. He lived in a world of stratospherically rich, privileged and well-connected families. The normal rules didn’t apply to them.
Did she dare take Alessandro on? She should have nothing to worry about. She was a good mother. Leo was thriving.
Yet the poisonous seed of doubt grew.
The thought of their cramped flat in a run-down neighbourhood, the best she could provide on her meagre wage, haunted her. Would that be held against her? Contrasted to the vast resources of the Mattani family?
There were so many ways Alessandro could get what he wanted, even without gaining sole custody. What if he refused to return Leo after a visit? If he kept him in Italy?
Carys didn’t have the resources to go there and demand her son back. She didn’t have the power to force Alessandro’s hand. She’d be at his mercy. Who knew what delays Alessandro could throw up to stop her seeing Leo while their lawyers slogged it out?
A shiver rippled through her and she lifted a hand to her throbbing temple. This was the stuff of nightmares.
The man she’d loved wouldn’t have threatened her like this, no matter how they’d parted. He’d never have robbed her of her baby.
But that man was gone. The realisation felt like someone had carved a part out of her heart. Alessandro had no memory of the happiness they’d once shared. To him she was merely a stranger who had what he wanted.
She longed to hold Leo, safe and warm in her arms. Hide away from Alessandro and his demands.
But there was no hiding.
‘My preference is to keep this between us, Carys.’ His deep voice came from just behind her, making her jump. ‘I wouldn’t choose a court battle. That would be a last resort.’
He expected her to be grateful for that? Hurt and fear coalesced in a surge of desperate anger till her body hummed with the effort of containing it.
‘Well, that’s a comfort! I feel so much better now.’
Long fingers grasped her shoulder, their heat branding through her clothes. She resisted but his grip firmed and she turned.
Was that compassion in his gaze?
She blinked and the illusion disappeared. Alessandro’s face was angular, hard, powerful. He would never back down.
‘You come swanning into our lives and think you can run roughshod over everyone.’ Her words tumbled out so fast they slurred. ‘As if only you know best.’ Carys drew herself up to her full height. ‘Your demands are outrageous. You’ve got no right—’
‘I have the right of a father.’ His cool words stopped her tirade. ‘Remember that, Carys. You are no longer the only one with a say in how our son is brought up.’
Our son. The words were a douche of cold water dousing her indignation. Reminding her how vulnerable she was.
‘I offer you marriage, Carys. Position, wealth, a life of ease. And—’ he paused ‘—a home for our son. He will grow up with both parents. In a secure, stable home. What objection can you have to that?’
‘But we don’t care for each other. How can we—?’
‘We have the best possible reason to marry. To bring up our child. That’s something worthwhile and enduring.’ The words sank into the silence between them as his touch warmed her shoulder. She wanted to pull away, but his intense gaze pinioned her. ‘There is no better reason to wed.’
Except love. The futile little voice rang in her ears.
Carys ignored it. She’d given up believing in seductive fantasies of romance two years ago.
Yet she couldn’t douse her dismay at the matter-of-fact way Alessandro spoke of marriage for the sake of their child. Perhaps the aristocracy were accustomed to convenient marriages, brokered for family or business reasons.
How could she marry a man she didn’t love? A man who’d betrayed her trust?
Her lips twisted ruefully. Look where her fantasies of love had got her!
‘Unless…’ His fingers tightened then dropped away. His head jerked up and he regarded her down the length of his aristocratic nose, his look coldly accusing. ‘Unless you’ve become attached to someone here?’
Carys hesitated, tempted to grab at the excuse. But she couldn’t lie. Once already she’d tried to deflect Alessandro’s interest by pretending to have a boyfriend, but she hadn’t been able to maintain the pretence.
She shook her head, shifting back a pace and turning her head away. He was too close for comfort.
Did he know how distracting he was, standing in her personal space, radiating energy like a human generator? The hairs on her arms prickled just being so near him.
‘Good, then there’s no reason to refuse.’
‘But what if…?’ Carys bit her tongue, furious that she’d begun to blurt out her wayward thoughts. Furious she was even listening to his bizarre reasoning. She must be mad.
‘What if…?’ His whisper made her shiver and stiffen as the warmth of his breath caressed her cheek.
For three heartbeats, for four, Carys remained silent. Then unwillingly she continued. ‘What if one day you meet someone you…care for? Someone you want to marry?’
Even now, cured of the love she’d felt for Alessandro, the thought of him with someone else squeezed her insides into a tortured knot of distress.
‘That won’t happen.’ Certainty throbbed in his words and she turned, curiosity stirring at his instantaneous response.
‘You can’t know that.’
Alessandro’s beautiful, sensuous mouth kicked up at the corner in a mirthless smile that made a mockery of the heat she’d imagined in his eyes moments before.
‘I know it absolutely.’ His gaze held hers till her chest tightened and she remembered to breathe. And still his expression of weary cynicism didn’t change. ‘Romantic love is a fallacy invented for the gullible. Only a fool would consider himself in love, much less marry for it.’
Carys felt her eyes widen, staring up at the man she’d once believed she’d known. He’d been considerate, witty, urbane and, above all, passionate. The sort of lover a woman dreamed about. A lover who tempted a woman to believe in the most outrageously wonderful happily ever afters.
She’d always understood he kept something of himself back. She’d sensed his deep-seated reserve despite the intimacies they shared. A sense of aloneness she’d never quite breached. An aloneness that intensified after his father died and Alessandro withdrew, devoting himself to business. Yet it shocked her to discover the hardened kernel of scepticism behind his charming exterior.
It made him seem so empty.
Had he always been like that? Or was this the result of the trauma he’d been through?
Distress and unwilling compassion burgeoned for this man who seemed to have so much, yet apparently felt so little.
Absurdly she wanted to reach out to him.
And what? Comfort him? Show him compassion? Love?
No! She reeled back, stunned at the depth of feelings he engendered even now.
Her hand, half raised as if to reach out to him, dropped noiselessly to her side.
‘Marriage is a duty,’ he continued, oblivious to her reaction. ‘There was never any question of me marrying for love.’ His scornful tone almost made her wince, recalling how blithely she’d believed he was falling in love with her as she’d fallen for him.
Acidly she wondered how he’d class his interest in other women. Even if he were married, there would be other women. Alessandro was a man who enjoyed sex. He wouldn’t stay celibate just because he’d married a woman he didn’t love. He’d have no qualms about pursuing someone who took his fancy. After all, she’d been his bit on the side, hadn’t she?
‘I believe in marriage for life.’ His words cut through her stark thoughts. ‘Once married there would be no divorce.’
‘A life sentence, in fact.’
‘You would not find it so hard, believe me, Carys.’ A hint of mellow honey edged his words and Carys shut her eyes, fighting the insidious weakness in her bones. He was talking about money, luxury, position, that was all. Not anything important, like the emotions he so despised.
‘You’re not worried I might fall for someone else and want a divorce?’ The words tumbled out in self-defence.
Taut silence reigned as his displeasure vibrated on the air between them.
‘There will be no divorce.’ His words were adamant, his tone rough-edged. ‘As for believing yourself in love…’
Abruptly he stepped in front of her and lifted her chin with his hand. She felt herself fall into the shaded depths of his green gaze. Heat sparked in her abdomen as he leaned closer. A thrill of excitement skimmed down her backbone.
No! She wasn’t making a fool of herself like that again. If he thought he could seduce her into falling for him all over again, he had another thing coming.
Furiously she jerked out of his hold. ‘Don’t worry,’ her voice was icy with disdain. ‘There’s no danger of me falling in love with anyone.’
Once
bitten, now cured for life!
His eyes blazed with curiosity. Then those heavy lids dropped, hiding his expression.
‘Good. Then we have an understanding.’
‘Now, just a minute! I didn’t say I—’
‘I’ll leave you to read the agreement.’ He gestured to the papers on the desk as he turned away, obviously eager to go. ‘There are arrangements to be made.’ He paused, spearing her with a look. ‘Consider well what I’ve said, Carys. I’ll be back soon for your answer.’
She hadn’t meant to, but finally Carys was drawn to the elegant regency desk with its fateful document. The thickly worded pages taunted her, evidence of Alessandro’s superior position, of his lawyers and his precious money.
She wasn’t really considering marriage. Was she? Fear swooped through her stomach and her damp hands clenched.
Alessandro couldn’t force her to marry.
He was gambling that a judge would give him custody. More, he was probably bluffing about court action. He wouldn’t…
The memory of eyes flashing like jade daggers in the sun pulled her up short.
He would. To get his son, of course he would.
How had she ever imagined Alessandro would settle for parttime fatherhood?
Stiffly she raised a hand and drew the papers towards her. She settled her glasses on her nose and began reading.
By the third page panic welled. It had taken twenty minutes of desperate concentration and still some of the text eluded her.
She was exhausted after so many sleepless nights and emotionally drained. Even at the best of times her dyslexia made reading solid text like this a challenge. But now…she bit her lip, fighting down angry tears of frustration.
Leo’s future was at stake and she didn’t have the skills to ensure he was protected! What sort of mother was she?
The old, jeering voice in her head told her she was a failure, and for a moment she was tempted to believe it.
She slammed her palms on the table and pushed her chair away. It wasn’t a matter of skills or intelligence. It was simply a disability, exacerbated by tiredness and stress.