by Anne Mather
‘I always said what?’
‘Nothing; I can’t remember.’ She carefully avoided his eyes. ‘It was all such a long time ago.’
‘Four years is not such a long time.’
‘Four and a half,’ she said, meeting his eyes with gritty determination. ‘Time to move on, don’t you think?’
‘That’s why we’re here,’ he said. ‘So we can both move on.’
‘Then let’s get on with it,’ she suggested and turned towards the house.
‘Ashleigh.’
She sent her eyes heavenward with a silent prayer for strength as she turned to look back at him. Because she was on the top step he was now at eye level. This close she could see the curling fringe of his sooty lashes, could even feel the movement of air against her lips when he let out a small breath. Her stomach muscles tightened, her legs going to water at his physical proximity. She had only to tilt her body a mere fraction and she would be touching him.
No touching, she reminded herself firmly.
Rule number one.
Her gaze dipped to the curve of his mouth and she mentally chanted rule number two, over and over again. No kissing, no kissing, no kissing, no—
‘I want to visit your family,’ Jake said, startling her out of her chant. ‘I was thinking about coming over this evening.’
‘What?’ She choked. ‘W-whatever for?’
He gave her a long studied look, taking in her flustered features and fluttering nervous hands.
Ashleigh fought her panic under some semblance of control as her mind whirled with a list of possible excuses for putting him off. She straightened her shoulders, controlled her hands by tying them together and forced herself to meet his eyes.
‘We’re all busy,’ she said. ‘No one’s going to be home.’
‘Tomorrow will do just as well.’
‘That’s no good either,’ she said quickly—far too quickly.
He gave her a sceptical look. ‘What happened to the happy-to-be-at-home-altogether-every-night Forrester family? I thought your family’s idea of a big night out was once a month to the cinema.’
She set her mouth, knowing he was mocking the stable security of her family. ‘My parents have regular evenings out and so do my sisters,’ she said, not bothering to hide the defensiveness in her tone. ‘Anyway, I will be out with Howard.’
‘I don’t need you to be there,’ he said.
No, but if he were to see even a single toy of Lachlan’s lying about the house he would begin to ask questions she wasn’t prepared to answer. Not to mention all the photographs arranged on just about every surface and wall by her overly sentimental mother. She’d been lucky the first time when he’d called in unexpectedly but she could hardly strip the house of everything with Lachlan’s name or face on it.
‘All the same, I don’t think it’s such a good idea.’ She bit her lip momentarily as she hunted her brain for a reasonable excuse. ‘My parents are…very loyal and since we…I mean… you and I parted on such bitter terms they might not be all that open to seeing you now.’
‘Your mother was fine with me the other day,’ he said. ‘Admittedly she didn’t ask me in for tea and scones, but she was openly friendly and interested in how I was doing.’
I will throttle you, Mum, for being so damned nice all the time, she silently vowed.
‘I don’t think Howard would like the thought of you fraternising with my family,’ she put in desperately.
The cynical smirk reappeared at the mention of her fiancé’s name.
‘We don’t have to tell Howard,’ he said, adding conspiratorially with the wink of one dark glittering eye, ‘it can be our little secret.’
Ashleigh was already sick to death of secrets, her one and only one had caused enough anguish to last a lifetime. She felt as if her heart hadn’t had a normal rhythm in days and even now her head was constantly pounding with the tension of trying to avoid a vocal slip in Jake’s presence.
‘I’d rather not do anything behind Howard’s back,’ she said.
‘Good little Ashleigh,’ he drawled with unmistakable mockery.
She ground her teeth and wished she could slap that insolent look off his face, but she knew if she did all three rules would end up being broken right there and then where they stood on the back door steps.
She straightened her spine, speaking through tight lips. ‘I’ll arrange a meeting for you with my family on neutral ground. A restaurant or something like that some time next week or the one after.’
He inclined his head at her in a gesture of old-world politeness. ‘If you insist.’
‘I do.’
‘Why don’t you and Howard join the party?’ he suggested.
‘I don’t think so.’
He gave a soft chuckle of laughter. ‘Why? Would he be frightened he might have to foot the bill?’
She sent him an arctic glare. ‘Howard is a hard-working man. Sure, he doesn’t have the sort of money that you do to throw around, but at least he is honest and up-front.’
‘What are you implying? That I came by my fortune by less than honest means?’ His eyes were hard as they lasered hers.
‘How did you do it, Jake?’ she asked. ‘When we were living in London you hardly had a penny to your name.’
‘I worked hard and had some lucky breaks,’ he said. ‘No shady deals, so you can take that look of disapproval off your face right now.’
‘From living in squalor to billionaire in four and a half years?’ she gave him a disbelieving look. ‘You should write one of those how-to-be-successful books.’
‘I didn’t exactly live in squalor,’ he said.
‘No, not after I moved in and did all your housework for you,’ she bit out resentfully. ‘How delightfully convenient for you, a housekeeper and lover all rolled into one.’
Ashleigh felt his continued silence as if it were crawling all the way up her spine to lift the fine hairs on the back of her neck.
She knew she was cornered. Her back was already up against the closed door behind her and his tall frame in front of her blocked any other chance of escape.
She could feel the air separating them pulsing with banked up emotions. Dangerous emotions, emotions that hadn’t been unleashed in a very long time…
CHAPTER FIVE
ASHLEIGH could feel the weight of his dark gaze on her mouth, the sensitive skin of her lips lifting, swelling as if in search of the hard pressure of his, her heart fluttering behind her ribcage as his head came even closer.
‘Don’t even think about it…’ she cautioned him, her voice a cracked whisper of sound as it passed through her tight throat.
His lips curved just above hers, hovering tantalisingly close, near enough to feel the brush of his warm breath as he asked, ‘Is that to be another one of your little rules?’
She moistened her lips nervously. ‘Yes…’ She cleared her throat. ‘Rule number four: don’t think about me in that way.’
‘How do you know what way I’m thinking about you?’ His dark eyes gleamed with mystery.
‘You’re still a full-blooded man, aren’t you?’ she asked with considerable tartness. ‘Or is that another one of those changes you insist you’ve undergone in the last four and a half years?’
He had timed silences down to a science, Ashleigh thought. He used them so tactically. She had forgotten just how tactically.
She held her breath, waiting for him to say something, her head getting lighter and lighter as each pulsing second passed.
‘Want to check for yourself?’ he finally asked.
‘What?’ Her indrawn breath half-inflated her lungs and her head swam alarmingly as his meaning gradually dawned on her.
He pointed to his groin, her eyes following the movement of his hand as if they had a mind of their own.
‘You’re the expert assessor. Why don’t you head south to check out if the crown jewels are still in mint condition?’
Her eyes flew back to his in a flash of anger
. ‘This is all a big game to you, isn’t it, Jake? You think this is so funny with your stupid double meanings and sexual hints.’ She sucked in a much needed breath and continued, ‘I’m not interested. Got that? Not in-ter-est-ed. Do I have to spell it out for you? Why can’t you hear what I’m telling you?’
‘There seems to be some interference from the transmission centre,’ he said.
‘Transmiss…’ She rolled her eyes. ‘Oh, for God’s sake! Is your ego so gargantuan that you can’t accept that what we had is over?’
‘It would be a whole lot easier to accept if you didn’t look at me with those hungry eyes of yours,’ he said.
‘Hungry eyes?’ She gaped at him in affront. ‘You’re the one with the wandering eyes!’
‘I said hungry, not wandering.’
‘Don’t split hairs with me!’ she spat back. ‘And back off a bit, will you?’ She leant back even further against the door behind her until the door handle began to dig into the tender flesh of her lower back. ‘I can practically see what you had for breakfast.’
‘I didn’t have breakfast.’
‘Do you think I care?’ she asked.
He gave her one of his lengthy contemplative looks. Ashleigh could feel herself dissolving under his scrutiny. She felt as if he could see through her skin to where her heart was beating erratically in response to his closeness.
‘See?’ He held up his hands as if he’d just read her mind. ‘I’m not touching you.’
‘You don’t have to; just being close to you is enough to—’ She clamped her wayward mouth shut and sent him another furious glare.
‘Is enough to what, Ashleigh?’ he asked, his deep voice like a length of sun-warmed silk being passed over too sensitive skin.
She refused to answer, tightening her mouth even further.
‘Tempt you?’ he prompted.
‘I’m not the least bit tempted,’ she said, wishing to God it was true.
‘That’s what the rules are for, aren’t they, Ashleigh?’ he taunted her softly. ‘They’re not for me at all. They’re for you, to remind you of your commitment to dear old Howard.’
‘He is not old!’ she put in defensively. ‘He’s younger than you. He’s thirty and you’re thirty-three.’
‘How very sweet of you to remember how old I am.’
Damn! She chided herself. She hadn’t seen that coming and had fallen straight into it.
‘If you don’t mind I’d like to get on with what I’m supposed to be doing,’ she said, hitching up her chin.
He stepped down a step and her breath whooshed out in relief. He didn’t speak, but simply turned away to stride down to the back of the garden to the spade he’d dug into the earth under the elm, lifting it out of the ground and resuming his digging as if the last few minutes hadn’t occurred.
Ashleigh tore her eyes away from the sculptured contours of his muscles and, wrenching open the back door, hurried inside where, for once, the dark lurking shadows of the house didn’t seem quite so threatening.
Her father was the first person she saw when she got home that afternoon after picking up Lachlan from the crèche.
‘I need to talk to you, Dad,’ she said, hanging up Lachlan’s backpack on the hook behind the kitchen door.
‘Where’s Lachlan?’ Heath Forrester asked.
‘He wanted to play outside for a while,’ she informed him with undisguised relief. Her young son had been full of energy and endless chatter all the way home from the crèche and it had nearly driven her crazy.
Heath gave her a look of fatherly concern. ‘What’s on your mind, or should I say who?’
Her breath came out on the back of a deep sigh. ‘Jake wants to have a family get-together of all things.’
Heath’s bushy brow rose expressively. ‘That could be a problem.’
She sent him a speaking glance as she reached for the kettle. ‘He wanted to come here tonight but I managed to put him off. I said I’d organise a restaurant for some other evening in a week or two.’ She leant her hips back against the bench as the kettle started heating. ‘I just wish I didn’t have to deal with this. I can’t think straight when he’s…when he’s around.’
‘You share a past with him,’ her father said. ‘It won’t go away, especially with Lachlan lying between you.’
‘You think I should tell him, don’t you?’
Heath compressed his lips in thought for a moment. ‘Jake’s a difficult man, but not an unreasonable one, Ashleigh. For all you know he might turn out to be a great father if given the chance.’
‘But he’s always made it more than clear he never wanted to have children,’ she said. ‘He told me the very same thing again yesterday.’
‘He might think differently if he met Lachlan,’ Heath said.
Ashleigh smiled sadly in spite of her disquiet. ‘You and Mum are the most devoted grandparents I know. Of course you would think that, but I know Jake. He would end up hating Lachlan for having the audacity to be born without his express permission.’
‘I understand your concerns but you can’t hide Lachlan from him for ever,’ Heath pointed out. ‘Attitudes have changed these days. He has a legal right to know he has fathered a child.’
‘I know…’ Ashleigh sighed. ‘But I can’t do it now. Not like this. I need more time. I need to prepare myself, not to mention Lachlan.’
‘Who is going to prepare Jake?’ Heath asked.
‘That’s not my responsibility,’ she said.
Her father didn’t answer but reached for two cups in silence. Ashleigh dropped two tea bags into the cups he put on the bench in front of her and poured the boiling water over them, watching as the clear liquid turned brown as the tea seeped from the bags into the water.
‘I will tell him, Dad,’ she addressed the cup nearest her, ‘eventually.’
‘I know you will,’ her father answered, taking his cup. ‘But I just hope it’s not going to be too late.’
Ashleigh stared into the cup in her hands, the darkness of her tea reminding her of Jake’s fathomless eyes—eyes that could cut one to the quick or melt the very soul.
‘Better late than never…’ she murmured.
‘That’s certainly a well-used adage,’ Heath said. ‘But I wonder what Jake will think?’
Ashleigh just gave her father a twisted grimace as she lifted her cup to her lips. She spent most of her sleepless nights tortured by imagining what Jake would think.
It wasn’t a pretty picture.
‘So how is your assessment going?’ Howard asked her the next morning.
Ashleigh handed him the notes she’d made so far. ‘I’ve done one room, mostly the furniture as I think I’ll need your help with the figurines. I’ve looked them up in the journals but I’d prefer your opinion. The painting, however, is certainly an Augustus Earle original. I think there are more but the one I’ve seen so far is worth a mint.’
‘Good work,’ Howard congratulated her as he glanced over her descriptions.
‘I’ve taken some initial digital photos but I haven’t downloaded them yet,’ she said. ‘It’s a big house and the furniture is virtually stacked to the ceiling in some rooms. It will take me most of the next week to get everything photographed and documented.’
‘So how is it working alongside your ex-boyfriend?’
Ashleigh found it hard to meet Howard’s gently enquiring gaze. ‘It’s all right…I guess.’
‘He hasn’t—’ he paused, as if searching for the right word ‘—made a move on you, has he?’
‘Of course not!’ she denied hotly.
Howard gave her a slightly shamefaced look. ‘Sorry, just asking. You know I trust you implicitly.’
She stretched her mouth into a tight smile that physically hurt. ‘Thank you.’
‘However, I’m not sure I trust him,’ he continued as if she hadn’t spoken.
‘You’ve only met him the once; surely that’s not enough time to come to any sort of reasonable opinion on someone’s
character.’ She found it strange springing to Jake’s defence but it irked her to think her fiancé had made that sort of critical judgement without a fair trial.
‘I know the type,’ Howard answered. ‘Too much money, too much power, not enough self-restraint.’
That about sums it up, she thought to herself, but decided against telling him how close he’d come to assessing her exlover’s personality.
‘I thought you were glad he was giving us this load of goods?’ she said.
‘I am,’ he said. ‘More than glad, to be honest. Who wouldn’t be? It’s a dream come true. Without this input of goods I was going to be sailing a little too close to the wind for my liking. The antiques fair coming up will time in nicely with this little haul. I will make a fortune out of it.’
‘If it goes through,’ she muttered darkly.
‘What do you mean?’ Howard looked at her in consternation.
‘What if he pulls on the deal?’
‘Why would he do that?’ he asked. ‘He gave us the exclusive. Well, at least he gave it to you.’ He glanced at her narrowly. ‘You’re not making things difficult for him, are you?’
‘Why would I do that?’
He gave a shrug. ‘You’re very bitter about him. Up until the other day you never once mentioned his name in the whole time I’ve known you.’
‘You didn’t ask.’ She kept herself busy with shuffling some papers on her desk.
‘That’s because I sensed it was too painful for you,’ he said.
Ashleigh looked at him, her expression softening as she recalled the way he had always considered her feelings. He was like the older brother she’d always wanted—caring, considerate and concerned for her at all times.
‘I’m hoping he won’t pull out of the deal.’ She picked up a pen and rolled it beneath her fingers, the line of her mouth grim. ‘But who knows what he might do if he finds out about Lachlan?’ She stared at the pen for a moment before adding, ‘He seems keen to get his father’s house cleaned out so he can start renovating it.’ She gave a tiny despondent sigh and added, ‘I think I’m what you could call part of his clean-up process.’
‘What do you mean?’