by J. B. McGee
“That’s not true. I just didn’t think it was my place.”
I laugh incredulously. “You don’t love me, Oliver. And that’s okay. Because I don’t love you, either.” My saliva gets hot the way it did earlier, and I’m pretty sure I’m about to vomit again. “Goodbye, Oliver,” I say, pressing end simultaneously while grabbing the barf bucket bowl thing and emptying what little contents were in my stomach again.
And that’s when I have another realization. Thinking of him needs to come with a trigger warning.
My mouth is dry, and my palms sweaty. “You’re not my mother.”
She bites her lip as they curve into a smile. “Nope,” she says, raking her eyes over my body like she’s been starving and maybe I’m her food.
Peeking around her, I look for her car. “They let you drive yourself home?”
“Nope.”
“Did you go home last night after I left?” I ask, completely puzzled by her single word answers. She’s never been the quiet one.
“Nope.”
This time, I smirk at her. Note to self: Stop asking yes or no questions. Inching closer to her, I lean down to her ear and whisper, “Who brought you here?”
She shivers. “You smell like stale beer,” she says ever so softly in my ear, but I swear she lets her lips touch my lobe when she’s done. Her breathing sends a message straight to my cock.
Chuckling, I don’t move because I’m so damn glad to see her on my front doorstep, to feel her breath on my skin. “Funny. My mother said that. Sure you’re not her dressed in a disguise?”
She sticks her finger out and pokes my dick. “I’d hope you wouldn’t be sporting that for her.”
“Only you. Did she bring you here?”
“Maybe.”
Fuck. No more yes or no questions, Holden. Reaching out, I brace the doorframe, spreading my body into a bit of an X to support myself after my body starts to protest my antics from last night. “What did the doctor say caused you to be so sick?”
“Bleeding ulcer.”
“Figured that’s what it was.”
“Are you gonna invite me in?” she finally asks me.
“Not yet. I kinda like this game we’re playing.”
She’s probably weak and tired, though.
“Unless you’re weak.”
“Nope.”
“I am.”
She laughs. “No, no, you’re not. You’re stronger than anyone I know. And brave. And persistent. And patient.”
I back up, wanting to look into her eyes as she says all these…nice…things about me. No smartass bickering. Maybe she’s not herself.
“Invite me in if you want to hear the rest.”
I back away from the door, giving her space to enter. “Do you wanna come in?”
“Nope.”
“What the fuck, Cam?”
She grins a wicked smile. “Ask it another way.”
“Come in?”
“Nope.” She slowly shakes her head.
“I give up.”
“Repeat after me, Holden.”
“Oookay.”
“Do.”
“Do,” I repeat.
“You.”
I let out a little laugh and lick my lips. “You.”
“Choose.”
Fuck. My heart starts galloping in my chest because I think I have an idea of where she’s going with this. “Choose.”
“Me?”
“Yes.”
She smiles. “Do you choose me?”
“I choose you.” I know exactly what she wants me to do, but she’s so damn cute, I can’t help but mess with her.
“No, you’re doing it wrong.” She giggles. “Say. It. Ask. Me.”
“Do. You. Choose. Me, Cammie?”
She jumps into my arms, wrapping her legs around my waist. See. Totally. Unexpected. Beautiful. Smart. Girl. My girl. She hovers her lips over mine as I grip her ass. Her hands are on either side of my face. “Yep,” she says before kissing me. I kick the door closed.
“I love you, tigress. And your little game of yep and nope.”
She rubs her nose against mine. “I love you, Holden. Games are so much more fun with you.”
“Did you get a charger?”
“I did. Thank you for what you did for me with my family. I think Wells is sorry. My dad, eh.” She bobs her head from side to side. “Not so much. But maybe we’ll get there. Even if he doesn’t, I still choose you.”
I sit us down on the couch, running my hands through her hair as she straddles my lap. It reminds me of that first day in the cabana. “Give him time.”
She nods. “And by the way, you were wrong.”
I stare at her dumbfounded. “Really?” I find that hard to believe. I’m hardly ever wrong. “How so?”
“I had a lot of time in the hospital to think about all the things you said.” She shrugs, arching an eyebrow. “You said my father took away my choice. And he did for nine years, but then he gave it back to me in Rind ‘N Grind the day after the auction.”
“Actually, I recall him saying if you left with me, not to bother explaining. That’s an ultimatum, and I’ve never really considered those choices. Besides, you left alone.”
She runs her finger down my lips. “Ah, yes. I remember. I was there. That was before getting in your car instead of the Uber I ordered.”
I stiffen. She caresses my neck, strums my collarbone.
“Where I let my hand wander down…” Her fingers completely bypass my chest and find their way to my cock. She squeezes my steel erection. “Here,” she says before biting her bottom lip. “And, as if that wasn’t enough of a statement…a choice…I moved into your mother’s guest house, where it was obvious we were having slumber parties.”
Fuck, she’s hot. “So…”
“So, Holden Jaxon Masters, let’s try this again. No more secrets. Only promises.”
“What if I told you right now I have one more secret? Would you be mad? Are secrets okay to keep if I promise it’s not the destructive kind?”
She grins. “Hmm. I think I may know what your secret is.”
I laugh. She’s cute. There’s no way she knows what this one is. “Do you, now?”
“Is it you telling me you’re finally ready to experience how good I feel while my legs are wrapped around you, your cock buried deep inside me, with me only wearing a pair of my Louboutins? Are you finally going to let my shoes live up to their little nickname you gave them?”
Sucking in a breath, I give her a little dose of her own medicine. “Nope.”
“Hmm,” she says, nibbling my neck.
“Not the same secret I’m thinking about. But I guess I didn’t realize I had two until just now. That one definitely is up there on the priority list.”
She grinds against me. “I guess good secrets are okay, then.”
I’m so lightheaded, so dizzy, so in love with her. “Cam?”
“Huh?”
“Thank you.”
“For what?” she asks, her head tilting.
“For being so damn perfect.” Because I know if I cared to look it up in Webster, it’d use her name as an example in a sentence.
Five months ago, Holden made it clear he was going to prove he wasn’t who I thought he was. How he was going to do that, I had no clue. For nine years, I’d convinced myself what he told me that day in the boys’ bathroom was true—that I didn’t know him at all. That should have been a comfort to me, security I’d made the right choice in choosing Oliver despite knowing in my heart it was so incredibly wrong.
It shouldn’t have come as a surprise Holden would win my date. He knows my love of the sun, the water, the beach. I just didn’t know what exactly he was looking to accomplish in a single day. But fate intervened, and it’s turned out everything that needed to be said and done is in the past. We’ve only got our present, the hope of a future, which we’ve really never had.
I think as his plan evolved he thought the date would, instead, be a co
nsummation of a relationship, a commitment of sorts. He refused to satisfy our cravings to fully connect, like he was going to wait until after this date. He all but said so. Of course, that changed after I showed up at his doorstep that night when I got out of the hospital.
The date kept getting pushed for various reasons by Holden. A project, being on call. But this morning, it all became clear this was just a ploy. I wouldn’t put it past him to have scheduled projects to avoid the date and switched shifts to be on call.
After I got out of the hospital, I moved for the second time in a short period of time. This time, I decided I wasn’t in the market to buy a house. I already had a home. It’s with Holden wherever he is. And his place is incredible, on the ocean, and outside of the godforsaken country club neighborhood we grew up in. Instead of the air being stuffy, like I’m being suffocated, when I’m outside on our back porch, my nostrils fill with clean, crisp sea air. There’s something so soothing about this place. But maybe it’s just because I’m with Holden, and he’s like a salve to my soul.
The back door opens. “Morning, beautiful,” he says as he hands me a cup of my favorite tea from Rind ‘N Grind. Thank goodness he doesn’t bring me lemon pound cake every time he goes there. I’ve already gained back some of the weight I lost because of the ulcer.
“Thanks.” I reach out and take it, blowing through the hole in the top to cool the piping hot liquid. The citrus mixing with the sea breeze makes my mouth salivate. The crashing waves, a serene soundtrack to a relaxing morning.
“I got you something else.”
“Did you?” My lips curve up. If it’s lemon pound cake, I’m going to eat it regardless of the consequences to my figure. I’ll just have to take up Crossfit with Holden. That could be sexy and fun. If I didn’t hate exercise.
He holds the top to my white string bikini, the one I wore ten years ago under that shear shirt. The one that didn’t hide my puckered nipples. I swallow, then freeze as memories wash over me like a wave rushing the shore.
The very same strings I fantasized about him tugging off my body.
Instead of trying to snatch it like I did with a different bikini in my bedroom a year later, I arch a brow. “Where’d you find that?”
He shrugs. “I can’t tell you all my good secrets,” he says before winking.
My insides clench because I know exactly where it was. Hidden, or so I thought, tucked away in a box with his name on top along with all the other items that were associated with memories of him I hoped could be forgotten. I considered burning it, but could never bring myself to do that. “You’ve got my attention.”
“Will you wear this today? Under this?” He holds up the sheer shirt and the shorts that I also wore that day.
“Well, it looks like you’ve already been to Rind ‘N Grind, so I’m saved from looking like a stripper in public there again.”
He laughs. “Speaking of stripping,” he says, the deep rumble of his voice growing husky.
I take a sip of my tea before it gets too cold, letting the warm liquid smoothly slip down my throat. Then, I put the cup on the table, lick my lips, and stand up. My hands explore his chest like it’s the first time they’ve ever done so, hoping to find new dips, cracks, and crevices in his muscles. His breath hitches, his lids become droopy, and it empowers me to let my hands slip further down. “What are you up to, Masters?”
“Making sure the date I won surpasses all my wildest dreams. You? What are you doing, Spencer?”
“Hmm.” My hand finds his hard cock. I squeeze it, rolling my fingers over the sensitive underside of the tip. “Making sure all of you understands what my expectations are, that all the invited…members…are present.”
He chuckles. “Go put this on. We’re going snorkeling. That’s the first part, right?”
I nod. It’s funny, though. I couldn’t care less what we do anymore. My idea of a perfect date has changed. We could be doing nothing, and it’d be everything. But Holden paid a lot of money for snorkeling and dinner, so I’m going to do my part to live up to his wildest dreams. I know he’s already surpassed mine.
Taking his hand, I pull him inside to our bedroom. The floor-to-ceiling sliding glass doors are open, the breeze blowing the sheer curtains. The early morning sun gives the room a warm glow. “Did you know…”
I take in his gaze, recognizing this look is exactly what Amie was trying to get me to see ten years ago today. “That when I went to change out of that bikini, I stood in front of my mirror and pictured you behind me?”
He turns me around to where I’m facing my mirror. “Like this?”
My heart stumbles in my chest as my back is pulled to his chest like the north and south poles of a magnet finally resisting the inevitable. “Uh-huh.”
“Then what?”
“You kissed my ear, my neck, my collarbone.”
He does as I say, his eyes never leaving mine in the mirror, a smile clearly visible against my skin. Damn, this feels so much better than I thought. “Am I doing okay?”
I can barely think, let alone speak, so I nod.
“Now what?” he asks, his fingers moving my hair before trailing down my arm, then landing on my side, and his hands resting on my hips.
“Well, I had that bikini on, so you pulled the string and set it free.”
An evil smile forms on his lips as both his hands grab the same area of the hem of my old white T-shirt. His biceps bulge as he starts pulling, the sound of threads being stretched before finally popping ricocheting off the walls. I don’t say anything, just watch as he slips it off my shoulders before balling it in a fist and putting it up to his nose. “You smell so damn good,” he says, before tossing it aside. “Fuck. No panties.” He bites his bottom lip, and I do the same as I’m reminded of our first time together—at how hot it was even though it was an accident—and it was in the dark. Whereas now, we’re in the light, fully exposed, accepting what we each have to give. “Now what?” he asks.
“I can’t remember if I pinched the nipple or you did. But one of us did that, and then you sucked them.”
His head tilts. “Let me see you touch yourself, Cam. Do it.”
Letting my head fall back against his chest, I roll the pink skin between my fingers until it pebbles. “Ah.”
“Fuck, you’re hot.” He turns us sideways, still refusing to look away from me. “Keep watching.” He grasps the breast I just gave attention to before swirling his tongue around it, then sucking it between his teeth, giving it a little nip.
“Sss.” Is the only sound I’m capable of while he’s doing that. My body is climbing to a place only he can take it, begging to soar off a cliff with him.
“What now?” He growls against my skin, sending vibrations all through me.
“Then, you unbuttoned my shorts and pulled the string on the bottoms.”
He lets out a small laugh. “You’re naked. So, skip ahead. You’re killin’ me.”
“There’s no skipping ahead.”
“What?” His brows furrow.
“You knocked on my door.” And this time it’s my turn for an evil grin. “And told me to put the bikini back on.”
He mutters something inaudible, but I know I hear a fuck laced in there somewhere. “I think I asked if I could come in first, then told you to put the bikini on.”
I nod. “You’re right. Ask me again.”
“Can I come in?”
“Please, Holden,” I say, threading my hands through his hair.
“Do you know why I left early?”
How would I know that? “You know I don’t.”
“Because my balls were so blue, I was sure they were going to fall off. I went home and had my own fantasy.” He takes his shirt off and quickly discards his shorts and boxers, his cock springing free. My mouth dries at how gloriously beautiful he is.
I arch a brow. “Is that right?”
He grips my ass and lifts me to where I’m positioned over him. “Yes. But I was also afraid, Cam. Afraid
I was going to lose you.” He shakes his head, and I put my hands on the base of his neck, my thumbs rubbing against his stubble-lined jaw. “But I’m not now.”
“What was your fantasy?”
He slides his tip in me, filling me, completing me. “A lot like yours, but I didn’t get interrupted, so I finished what I started.”
He swiftly moves us against a wall. “When you said you were naked, I seriously contemplated breaking into your room and doing this.”
“Against a wall?”
“Yeah,” he says, moaning. “And then at the auction, I thought my dreams were finally coming true.”
“I like it better in the light,” I whisper, taking all of him as he slides me up and down.
“I like it better consensual.” He laughs. “Now be quiet. The only thing I want to hear from you are pants, yesses, more, and my name.”
“Such a smartass.”
He groans as he places his lips on my neck. “Say it again.” He pounds into me harder.
What I want to say is, “I love you, smartass.” But for some reason, my throat is strangled. My legs are trembling, and my insides are starting to build momentum, intensity.
“Say it, Cam. Say it as you come all over me.”
Opening my eyes, his bore into mine. Tilting my head so our foreheads touch, I try to keep my lids open to look at him as my body free-falls in the best of ways. “Thank you for being an ass.”
He closes his eyes, groaning as he stills inside me. “Fuck, Cam. Fuuuck.”
I smile, panting, as I press my lips to his, sucking air from his mouth to fill my lungs. He walks me over to the bed and lays me down, us still connected. He moves my hair out of my face.