Break You

by Snyder, Jennifer

  Chad scrunched his face up. “Yeah, I will. I remember when you girls were that age. Remember that, Lydia? Remember what Blaire said for weeks?” He laughed and I relaxed some. The situation had been defused. Was that Bonnie’s role in the family?

  Lydia tried to suppress a smile, but couldn’t manage to. “Yes. I remember.” She turned in her seat to glare at Chad and point a finger. “But it was your fault. The girls never heard me use that type of language.”

  Bonnie burst into a fit of laughter. “I remember that too!”

  “What’s so funny?” Blaire asked. Obviously the memory had slipped her mind.

  I took a long swig of my beer and wondered for a moment whether Blaire would notice if I had another. Her family seemed like the type you needed more than one beer to be around. They were a mixture of comedy and tension.

  “When you were like three or four, you went around for weeks saying,” Bonnie paused and searched for where Tinley was at, “son of a bitch every time you dropped something!”

  Everyone laughed, even me. Blaire’s face grew red and she narrowed her eyes at Bonnie.

  “How would you know, you can’t honestly tell me you remember that? You were what, six or seven then?” Blaire asked.

  “Oh I remember it all right, because at first Mom thought I taught it to you. Then she heard Dad yell it at the TV one night during a football game and realized where it came from.” Bonnie grinned.

  I glanced at Chad. He was shaking his head, lost in a fit of laughter. His entire face was a shade of red so bright, it was nearly purple. Just looking at him made me laugh harder.

  “It’s true! I was so upset with both of you girls,” Lydia said between giggles. She wiped the corners of her eyes and attempted to contain herself. “I couldn’t get you to stop saying that for weeks, Blaire, weeks! And it just so happened to be your first month of preschool. Those teachers gave me the dirtiest looks when I came to pick you up.”

  I finished off my beer and leaned back in my chair some. Blaire was laughing so hard, she was clutching her stomach. The sight made my heart swell. God, she was beautiful when she smiled.

  “I must have gotten my mouth washed out thirty times before Mom realized it had come from Dad!” Bonnie continued. “You just wait, when you have this baby I’m going to pull some crap like that on you as payback.”

  The entire mood of the backyard shifted to a standstill. Bonnie slapped a hand to her mouth and I truly thought her eyes might pop out of her head.

  “Whoa, little Blaire is pregnant?” Brice, Bonnie’s dickhead of a husband, asked.

  That douche hadn’t even said a single word to me since I’d gotten here, but I’d seen him eyeballing the beer in my hand when Blaire and I had walked out. Guess he didn’t like sharing, unless he was sucking up to someone.

  My eyes shifted to Blaire. All the color had drained from her face. “I…umm…” She trailed off.

  I reached out and grabbed her hand. Her eyes met with mine and I smiled at her.

  “Is it true, Blaire?” Lydia asked. Her voice had taken on a sharp tone. “Is this why we’re all here tonight?”

  From in the corner of my eye I saw Bonnie sit down. “I’m sorry, Blaire.”

  Blaire returned my smile and I squeezed her hand in mine. She let out a deep breath. “It’s fine, really. And yeah, I am pregnant. Almost nine weeks now.”

  Her eyes left mine to seek out those of her parents. My heart thudded in my chest louder than I’d ever heard it before. I carefully glanced in Chad’s direction. Even though Blaire and I were both adults, you still never knew how a dad would react when he heard the news that his little girl had been knocked up by someone she’d been dating for such a short time.

  Chad raised his beer to me. “Congratulations. Welcome to the family. Treat my baby right and we’ll be okay.” He winked and smiled before putting his beer to his lips.

  Relief buzzed through me stronger than the adrenaline coursing through my system. Chad was all right. I nodded at him and tipped back my beer. My eyes shifted to Brice and I noticed the look of pure disgust on his face. I was sure he had never gotten such a welcoming invite into the family. Obviously, he and I weren’t ever going to get along—especially not after that moment.

  “Blaire,” Lydia said. Her voice had lost the sharp tone. “And here I thought you’d be the one to travel and become successful at something besides being a wife and a mother. I thought you would be the one to break the cycle of the women in our family.”

  The sadness in her mother’s words made my eyebrows draw together. I stroked my thumb back and forth against the outer edge of Blaire’s hand that I still clasped. I lowered my eyes to stare at the slight amount of pollen covering the glass tabletop in front of me, thinking of what I should say here. “She could still travel and become something successful besides a wonderful mother and wife. I won’t let her feel like her life is ended because of this child we’ve brought into the world,” I said.

  Brice scoffed from where he stood and I wanted to deck him.

  Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut, maybe not, I couldn’t be sure. But I did know that I was glad I’d had enough liquid courage in me to be able to say something. This moment shouldn’t rest entirely on Blaire’ s shoulders—the reason we were here right now was because of both of us, equally. Besides, didn’t Lydia realize that she herself could travel and hold a successful career all on her own now? I mean, her kids were grown.

  “Umm…and I haven’t broken the cycle enough?” Bonnie demanded. “I’m successful!”

  “Sure you are.” Brice patted her on the arm as he walked to the grill to flip whatever it was he was burning. He shook his head and smirked. “Sure you are, honey.”

  “Don’t patronize me, Brice!” Bonnie shouted after him. “If it wasn’t for me and my hobby money, you wouldn’t be able to go freaking golfing tomorrow, would you?”

  Ouch. There was a storm brewing there. Blaire shifted closer to me; releasing my hand, she laid hers on my knee. I draped my arm over her shoulders and pulled her into me a little more. The sound of her taking in a deep breath filled my ears.

  “Bonnie, you know that’s not what I meant,” Lydia said. She shifted her gaze back to Blaire. “I’m just shocked, that’s all. Are you still planning to finish out school at least?”

  Blaire nodded. “I’ll more than likely put it off for a year, but yes, I do plan to eventually get my RN License still.”

  “What about a place to stay? Is Paige moving out or are you all going to bunk together?”

  Blaire squirmed against me, obviously uncomfortable with the questions. “I’m not sure yet.”

  My stomach clinched. Jesus, we must look so unprepared to her mother.

  “Lydia, leave them alone with the third degree. They’ll get it all figured out, they’re smart,” Chad said. He squeezed her shoulder as he walked past us and into the house. “No one is ever prepared for parenthood. No matter how much they save or how set they are in the mind about having children—they all find out sooner or later that parenthood isn’t something you can ever truly prepare for.”

  Lydia smiled and shook her head. Tears began to fall from her eyes and then I realized Blaire was crying as well. “He’s right. No one can ever be completely prepared. We all learn as we go—that’s one of the joys of it. I’m sorry I reacted so badly, honey.”

  She reached out and Blaire went to her for a hug. I smiled watching them, and pushed my empty beer bottle away. A freshly opened one was placed in front of me.

  “Here, you look like you could use another drink.” Chad grinned. “And don’t worry about that asshole out there. He’s lucky I don’t sucker punch him for the way he talked to my daughter just then.”

  I laughed and gripped the cold beer. Tipping it back, I let the smoothness slide down my throat and wash away my nerves. Chad slid the chair beside me out and sat. He clinked his beer to mine.

  “You’ve got a long way to go, but I’ve got a feeling you two will be just
fine,” he said.

  Grinning, I thought about how much I agreed with his statement and took another sip.

  CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

  BLAIRE

  I pulled into the parking lot below the shops that ran along Main Street and searched for a parking space. At seven forty-five in the morning, the Coldcreek Summer Festival was in full swing already. People were scurrying around setting up their little booths with homemade crafts and summer-themed foods. The sweet smell of fresh watermelon met with my nose and I inhaled deeply. I smiled as I walked past the booth where the mouthwatering scent was coming from. The standard banner hung off the canopy tent above the table made my smile grow.

  Watermelon Seed Spitting Contest

  This was my favorite table growing up. It was the only reason I enjoyed coming to the festival at all. I waved to the Coopers, who ran the stand every year, as I passed by and continued in my search for Bonnie. Spotting her sandwiched between old Mrs. Claire’s bakery table and Mr. Dobson’s woodworking crafts, I started in her direction. Mrs. Claire noticed me walking up and flashed me a large smile that I returned. She was the sweetest old lady, the epitome of what a small town was all about.

  “Good morning, sweetheart,” Mrs. Claire said to me. “Someone’s all excited to be spending the day with you.”

  I followed her stare to where Tinley sat, eating an extra-large blueberry muffin. Her face lit up when she saw me walking toward her.

  “Aunt B!” she shouted. “I’ve been waitin’ on you!”

  She was the cutest little thing, dressed in a white T-shirt with little pink flowers and a sparkly pink tutu skirt. I bent down and gave her a hug.

  “You’ve been waiting on me, huh?” I asked with a grin. “Well, I’m here. Let me see if your mom needs any help and then you and me will head out to have a day of fun.”

  Tinley nodded and went back to her chair, stuffing the muffin in her mouth as she went. I stood and eyeballed the table Bonnie was setting her stuff up on. There were boxes of stuff stacked on each other and she was fiddling with a tablecloth, appearing to be severely frustrated.

  “Do you need any help?” I asked.

  Bonnie pursed her lips together. “Hmm, think you can help me find a place that exchanges P-O-S husbands for ones who are worth an S-H-I-T?” She glanced at Tinley as though she hoped she hadn’t managed to learn how to spell overnight.

  “Yikes, are you two still arguing?”

  She set the tablecloth she was fighting with down. “What gave you that idea? Of course we are. He should be here right now being supportive and helping me set this table up before taking Tin for the day and spending some quality freaking time with her, but where is he? Out on the golf course, probably popping back a few beers and laughing it up about how stupid he thinks this entire thing I’m doing is.”

  I grabbed the opposite ends of the tablecloth and began to help drape it over the table, trying to hold back my grin. Bonnie was hilarious when she was pissed. At least, I thought so, anyway.

  “Forget him,” I said. “You’re doing this and it’s going to be awesome. Loads of people are going to stop by, they’re all going to see the cool stuff you make, and your company name is going to get out there more. It’s worth it, and it’s not stupid. You’re proving to your daughter firsthand that a person truly can follow their dreams and be successful. Don’t cut yourself down.” I meant every word I said.

  “Wow.” Bonnie smoothed the edges of the tablecloth down and stared at me. “When did you grow up? That was some serious adult advice.”

  I shook my head and grinned. “I’ve been grown up, what are you talking about?”

  She rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean, and thanks.”

  “Welcome.” I placed my hands on my hips and stared at her tablecloth. It was pale pink with her company name embroidered in a pattern that looked like stitching across the front. “Do you need me to help you set anything else up before Tin and me head out?”

  Bonnie checked the time on her phone. “Yeah, if you don’t mind. I’m sort of running a little behind.”

  “Not a problem.” I walked around to the back of the table and waited for her to start handing me things to set out.

  * * * *

  By the time Tinley and I left the festival it was a little after eleven. I’d walked her around to all the booths and beat her in a game of watermelon seed spitting. Then we decided to get something to eat from the little deli sandwich shop on the corner. I ordered a veggie, since I wasn’t too big on meat lately, and got Tinley a turkey and cheese on wheat. We sat inside and ate—something Tinley insisted on. After that we headed to the park for a bit and then to the pool.

  Dragging my feet through the women’s locker room, I wondered how I would ever be able to keep up with my baby whenever it was Tinley’s age. She was so full of energy you’d think someone had slipped her something in her morning muffin.

  “Okay, put your foot in.” Tinley stepped into her bathing suit and I adjusted the bottoms as I helped her pull them up. “Let’s swipe on some sunblock and then you can put your floatie vest on, okay?”

  “Okay.” Tinley nodded.

  After applying sunblock, I helped her slip into the vest Bonnie had bought her online. It resembled a backward life jacket and had the face of an elephant on it. Regardless of how it looked, I knew it was a kick-ass purchase, because the last time I’d brought Tinley to the pool with it, I hadn’t had to hold her in the water and help her swim at all. She was self-sufficient with that thing on. All I had to do was sit at the edge of the pool and watch her play. Since I was so exhausted from our day already, this was something I was looking forward to.

  Scooping up our bag and shoes, I grabbed Tinley’s other hand and we started for the pool. It wasn’t nearly as packed as I thought it would be this time of day. The scent of sunblock and chlorine met with my nose as I headed for the first sun chair I spotted to set our things in. Some kid splashed in the water hard as we walked by and water got all over our bag. A whistle blew and I instinctively turned to see where it had come from just as some girl yelled, “Walk!” A guy with dark hair and lean muscles I would recognize anywhere stood off to the side, talking with Marla Danes.

  My stomach clinched and I nearly dropped everything I was carrying. What was Jason doing here and why was he hanging out with Marla? My feet froze as I zeroed in on the black cord necklace around his neck and the plaid blue swim trunks he wore. Marla said something that made him laugh. She placed her hand on his chest and he turned away from her to glance around the kiddy pool. The cord was a whistle. Things clicked into place and I realized with certainty Jason was a lifeguard.

  He was wearing sunglasses, but even so, the second his eyes locked with mine, I knew. I gripped onto Tinley and bolted for the door without waiting for an explanation from him.

  CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

  JASON

  Blaire. Damn it, I knew I wasn’t going to get away with working here undetected until I could switch to Haven Software. The look on her face made my skin prickle with sweat. Before I could say a word to her, she’d gripped Tinley’s little hand in hers and started toward the door.

  “Trouble in paradise, sugar?” Marla asked. I’d forgotten who I’d been standing with. She shoved me in the direction of the door. “You’d better chase her down. Don’t just stand here like a lump on a log.”

  Fuck. I ran my fingers through my hair. Marla was right, I had to chase Blaire down. She had to know that I was only working here for a few more days and then I truly was starting at Haven and interning at the children’s home. I dashed from where I stood to the walkway leading to the parking lot.

  “Whoa, where’s the fire, bro?” Matt asked as I nearly plowed into him in my effort to get to Blaire in time.

  “I’ll be right back,” I shouted over my shoulder. “Cover my section.”

  Pausing at the top of the stairs, I searched the crammed parking lot for her car. She was standing beside it, fighting with the clasp on the back of
Tinley’s vest thing. Thank goodness for small favors.

  “Blaire!” I shouted. “Blaire, wait.”

  She didn’t look up at me. Her movements became more frantic, though, letting me know she was desperate to get away from me.

  “It isn’t what it looks like,” I said. Although, I wasn’t sure what it looked like to her. Was she pissed I worked here and had lied about it or that she’d seen me with Marla talking? Both? How could I apologize for something when I wasn’t sure what the problem actually was?

  “Oh, really?” The clasp she’d been messing with finally unhooked and she slipped the vest off Tinley’s arms. “Climb in, Tin.”

  “I didn’t swim, Aunt B, I didn’t,” Tinley whined.

  “Don’t leave,” I said. “Please, let her swim some so we can talk.” I was grasping at straws here, but that was all I could think of to say.

  “No.” She bent down and flashed Tinley a sweet smile. “I think we should go get some ice cream with lots of chocolate syrup and sprinkles, don’t you?”

  “Yumm!” Tinley shouted. Her eyes grew wide and she reached out to close her door. Blaire let the door close and then walked around to the driver’s side.

  “Stop.” I grabbed her arm. “Please, talk to me. Tell me what has you so upset. Is it because I work here?”

  She shook me off and opened the driver side door. Leaning in, she turned the car on and blasted the AC. “Here.” She handed Tinley her phone. “You can play that ABC game you like. I need to talk to Jason for just a minute, okay? Then we can go get our ice cream.”

  Tinley nodded. “Okay!”

  Blaire closed her door and folded her arms over her chest. “Talk.”

  My heart raced and I stood there like a freaking idiot. She was pissed, that much was clear, but I wasn’t going to start naming out random things to be sorry for when I wasn’t sure what had her riled up enough to leave in the first place. “Tell me why you’re mad. Please?” It came out in a more pleading tone than I’d intended.