I chatter away about life the last few months, mostly talking about school and people we grew up with. She is a little surprised when I tell her Emerson and I are engaged, but expresses her congratulations. I’m not the only one second guessing myself.
Presley falls asleep about halfway to Sulfur Heights and I get hypnotized by the lights on the interstate at this time of night. I’m not tired, though. I’m too confused to be tired.
When I chose to express my second thoughts to my mother, she came uncorked. Her harsh words still send chills down my spine.
“Delilah. Don’t you even dare break it off with Emerson!” Her voice was threatening as she slammed her wine bottle in the sink, breaking it to tiny pieces. “Get this through your pretty head, that boy is nothing other than bad news. If you get tangled up with him, he will only bring you down. Do you understand me?”
“But why should I marry someone when I’m not sure if I really love him or not.” I choked back the tears when the reality hit like a brick.
“Love? Marriage is not all about love, dear.” Her voice calmed and she came to my side with a new bottle of wine in her hand. “Sure, at first it’s infatuation or love that may attract you to each other initially, but it takes more than that to keep a marriage going.” She sits me down at the table.
“Your daddy and I were head over heels when we met. The same way you and Emerson were. Then, as time passed, your daddy and my marriage began to change. I realized it’s really not love that keeps me with him. It’s the obligation I made to him that keeps me here and in his corner.” I knew what she was saying because following through with your promises had been engrained in me since I was a young child. We never broke our promise once it was given, and the very thought hurt.
“Honey, think about what you have with Emerson. Really think about it. He’s everything you deserve to have, and he can give you the world. Jake, what can he give you?”
The conversation is still lingering in my mind when I pull into the driveway at the Evans’ house. I am happy we are finally here, but I’m scared as hell to see Jake. I know he’s mad at me. He hasn’t returned any messages since the day he left. What am I supposed to say, though? I’m leaving Emerson so I can possibly have a chance as the leading lady in your life. It will never happen. Jake Evans changes for no one, myself included. It will only be heartache and pain that will follow.
Presley runs up the back steps as I pull her luggage from the trunk. I manage to drag it up the flight of stairs and walk in on her and Drake’s long overdue homecoming. Tears are falling and kisses are being exchanged. I slink by them and take her things to her bedroom.
When I come out, Mia is in Darcie’s arms, happy as a lark. I smile immediately and hold my arms out for her to come to me. Since I’ve been away, Darcie and I Skype a couple times a week, giving me a face to face conversation with her. She always manages to have Mia on camera. I’m proud to say she recognizes me and smiles when I hold her in my arms.
I walk to the living room, kissing her cheek, enjoying the giggles she gives when Jake stands in my path, stopping me immediately. “What are you still doing here?” His voice is icy and his body is rigid.
“I just got here. I brought Presley home.” My voice is quiet and filled with hurt, knowing Jake doesn’t want anything to do with me.
“Take it outside if you’re gonna fight. She just got home for fuck’s sake.” Darcie pulls Mia from my hands and motions her head to the door.
As Jake snags my hand and pulls me through the kitchen, I shiver instantly when the November air hits my skin. We walk the short distance to the garage where he slams the door shut. “You’ve got a lot of nerve coming here.”
I can immediately smell the whiskey on his breath and hear the disdain in his voice. “Why would you say that?”
He unscrews the cap of his flask and tips his head back, then a small amount of whiskey drips down his chin and he wipes it away with the back of his hand. “Come on now, cupcake. You’ve made your choice.”
I stand tall, meeting his gaze. “I didn’t know I needed to make a choice, Jake. You’re my best friend. None of that has changed. I still want you in my life.” My eyes are pleading while looking at his bloodshot irises.
He titters on his feet again then takes another gulp from his flask. “Well… now we have a problem. Because I’m not friends with pretentious assholes and I don’t foresee that changing anytime soon.”
“Is this how you want this to end, Jake?” I step to him, almost pushing my chest against his as the anger ignites me alive. “You would rather lose everything we have because you’re too stubborn to see what our friendship has to be?”
He drops his flask to the floor and snags me behind the waist, pulling me into his body. We are so close that I can barely tell where he stops and I begin. And his eyes are fueled with something dark, seductive.
Jake starts to walk, making me backpedal until my body is pressed between him and the garage wall. Then he brings his face down to my neck and lingers his lips on the spot just behind my ear. As they connect with my skin, I melt.
The shock to my body awakens me for the first time and heat starts evaporating the winter’s chill in the air.
He kisses the same spot again, only this time the tip of his tongue brushes my skin. I’m falling, too weak to stand. He plants another kiss, this time slightly lower and I’m feeling intoxicated, drowning in his presence. Jake dips slightly and puts his hands under my rear then lifts me up, pressing me against the wall. I wrap my legs around his waist, feeling his arousal against my core. My inhibitions are evaporating with every delicate kiss. Before I can stop myself, a moan releases past my lips. The air reeks of whiskey and grease, however I’m drunk, utterly wasted off a few sensual kisses.
When Jake pulls his face from my neck and looks deeply into my eyes, I want him so badly, it’s overpowering and confusing. He looks down at my lips then back to my eyes, only this time, the desire is gone from his eyes and all I see is the bloodshot whites and his black irises.
“Everything’s changed, D. Look what you’ve done to me.” He motions his eyes down to our joined bodies then back up to my eyes. “Look what I’ve done to you.” He kisses my neck again, lighting my body on fire. “Friends don’t do that.” He moves from the wall and sets me on the floor.
I stand, dumbfounded, as I watch Jake pick up his flask and disappear out the door. Sliding down the wall, I fall to the floor when I realize Jake is right. Everything has changed. We will never be what we were. The lines have been crossed and there’s no going back. Not now. Not ever.
Jake
Another month has passed and the coldness of the Michigan winter still lives in my body. My twin has made it a point to be around more now that Presley is home. They’ve seemed to bond over her incident, and I can’t help but wonder if Jeremy has feelings for her. It would explain his weird behavior and how he disappeared when she was away in rehab. What happened to her was hard on all of us, Drake especially, but when I really think about Jeremy’s reaction to her overdose, it makes me wonder.
He completely shut down and pushed everyone out of his life until that night. I really hope he’s not going down that road. If you look at Drake and Presley, they are meant to be. It has been known from their first meeting. He fell hard and so did she, but if Jeremy tries to wedge his way in, it will divide the family forever.
I decide to respect his privacy and keep my nose out of it. I’ve only reminded him that I am here whenever he needs to talk. He nodded in return and we’ve been cool ever since. Sure, it bugs the hell out of me that he’s been so close-lipped about his life, but I have to trust my brother and whatever he’s doing.
Christmas has come and gone. I was practically jumping up and down when I gave Mia her Mini Cooper. I had it custom painted just for her and added her nickname to the side. I know she’s only a baby, but I wanted to be the one to give her, her first car. She loved it for a minute.
That was the highlight of the morn
ing; that and Reggie and Darcie’s wedding announcement. I can’t wait for Vegas. It’s the perfect way to end this year full of ups and downs. I don’t think I’ve ever been emotionally attacked as much as I have been this year. It will be a nice way to let loose.
Now, as I pack my bag for Las Vegas, I hold Delilah’s present in my hands. She mailed it with everyone else’s, but I’ve refused to open it. Since I’ve seen her last, so many thoughts have been plaguing my mind. I may have been drunk out of my mind, but I remember what I said to her and I remember how I felt. She’s more than a friend to me, though I can’t say that I love her. I don’t know if I’m capable of loving her. We have this undeniable connection. Something real, scary and magnetic lives between us and I can’t ignore it, yet I’m not sure I want to discover it.
I stare at the package and decide against my better judgment to open it. In a silver frame is the picture of us from that night at the lake. The snapshot I took while with her tucked in next to me. There’s a note taped to the back of the frame.
Best friends, remember?
Short and to the point, I tear the note off and look at the photo again.
We were so happy. This was the girl I made the promise to. The one who was stripped raw of everything she was supposed to be. No make-up. No fancy hair-dos or fake smiles. This was my Delilah, the one I vowed I would befriend even if it killed me.
Now, though, I feel she’s lost to me.
I rub the tattoo on my arm, my constant reminder of a friend I hope to God I can have again.
Chapter 17
Delilah
My plane lands in Las Vegas about ninety minutes before everyone else. I quickly get checked in to the room and begin the wedding check list. I am on the phone with the chapel, making sure the limo will arrive promptly after the hotel assures me the dresses and suites have arrived. I also call the laundry service and request all the garments be steamed and delivered to the desired room no later than four o’clock.
We are trying to make a New Year’s wedding, and by the stroke of twelve, Reggie and Darcie will be a happy couple, tossing confetti and sharing their special New Year’s Eve kiss. I am so excited for them I could scream.
My wedding planning, on the other hand, has been mundane and boring. I left my mother and the wedding planner in charge of everything. Of course, I smile and nod when it’s appropriate. I act my way through fittings, decorations, flowers and everything else that brides should be excited about. I even manage to act my way through evenings spent with Emerson. Nothing physically has changed; I won’t give myself over to him, not yet anyway. There’s a feeling deep inside of me that tells me my virginity doesn’t belong to him. It’s not his to take, only mine to give, and I have not a drop of desire to give it to him.
My mother has us scheduled to walk down the aisle this coming spring. In less than six months, I will be a married woman. Forever chained to a man I’m not sure I fully love. What am I to do?
When I’ve last seen Jake, he still despised me, claiming we could never be friends again. My Christmas present begged him, yet he never said a word. Now, as I try to keep myself busy, I’m worried and scared over the possible reality that our relationship is over. I want so bad to just go on a J&D adventure again, completely turning myself over to him.
It’s not long before my cell phone vibrates in my pocket with a message from Darcie saying that they are pulling up to the hotel. I rush from my room and descend in the elevator. Standing in the lobby are my very best friends in the world, and we’re here to celebrate two of them getting married. I couldn’t have asked for a better day. I run my way over to them and squeeze the life out of each person.
When it comes time to hug Jake, however, he walks away, moving toward the elevator, still giving me the cold shoulder. Bittersweet happiness, that’s what this one night in Vegas will be.
Jake
It’s hard to be around Delilah today, but I need to stop acting like a jerk and buck up. Today is about Reggie and Darcie, not my tiff with my former best friend, or possibly something else. We’re heading back up the elevator from lunch with the guys when the words Reggie speaks start to deeply settle in. Delilah is my friend, my best friend, and I can’t believe I ever questioned that.
She holds a part of me no other person will ever possess and I’m glad it’s her who has it. It’s the part of me that’s forthcoming, happy and excited about tomorrow. Since we’ve been on the outs, I’ve spent my free time making it through the day without living for tomorrow.
Delilah is worth the trouble. Even with all of her attitude, ignorance and diluted reality about her home life, she will always be worth every ounce of agony she’s put me through. I would do it all over again as long as that means I can be in her life. I need to apologize. I will take her anyway I can, and if that means standing aside so she can marry Emerson, then so be it. As long as she’s in my life, I can make it. I can survive.
I talk a big game in front of Drake and Reggie because from the first time I can remember, I’ve always said relationships are a pain in the ass and I would never get into one. Even though Delilah and my relationship isn’t traditional, it is necessary, and at lunch today, I became man enough to stand corrected.
The suits get delivered; I’ve been secretly hoping Reggie has opted for jeans and t-shirts, but no luck there. “Hey Reggie,” I say while trying to figure out how to tie a tie. “Let me know when Darcie gives you your balls back.”
He glares up at me, frustrated because he, too, can’t get his tie tied. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Reggie yanks the silk and tosses it to the ground. “Jake, will you YouTube this shit?”
Genius! I pull out my phone and find a tutorial, soon realizing it’s not as easy to learn from some stupid dude on a tiny screen. “Ugh! This douche bag makes no sense. I say fuck it and go without the ties.” Please say yes, please say yes. I chant in my head.
“No! We’ll… find someone to help us.”
Annoyed, I tuck the tie in my pocket, “And who are we supposed to ask?”
Drake pipes in as we move toward the door. “Presley texted me and said Delilah knows how to tie them.”
I roll my eyes. Of course she knows. Now I have to stand close to her while she cinches a noose around my neck. God, I’m a dead man.
***
We make it to the chapel on time and are standing in the groom’s room off the chapel until it’s game time when Reggie ushers Delilah into the room and she begins with him, tying the knot around his neck. I take a minute to look at her. She looks breathtaking in her purple dress and high heels. The fabric clings to her every curve, leaving nothing to the imagination. Her hair is down and pulled to the side, exposing the part of her neck a month ago I got to taste. Feelings from that night flood me as I recall the sensation of her body pressed against mine.
She makes her way down the line and lands on me. Our eyes connect as she tugs the tie from my hands and tucks it under the collar of my shirt. I fear for my life as she wraps the fabric around my neck with wickedness in her eyes. Damn woman, she’s so stubborn. Then again, I knew she would be.
I lean down so her ear is next to my lips. I take a moment to inhale the sweet smell of lavender and it springs me to life. God, I’ve missed her. I offer a truce. “I’m sorry, D. Do you forgive me?” Her eyes gloss over and look directly at me. “Look, I was angry. I only want you to be happy, and if you’re happy with him, then I have to accept that.”
She finishes my tie and lays it perfectly down my torso. “I’m happy, Jake.” Lie. Bold face lie, but I won’t call her on it. I will let her live with the lie until reality wakes up and slaps her in the face. Hopefully, for her sake, it’s not too late.
“Come here.” I pull her in for a hug and she immediately returns my embrace. “I missed you.”
She steps back and looks again in my eyes. “I’ve missed you so much.”
I hold her for another minute until we’re requested to line up and start the wedding.
I walk to my brother and clap him on the back. I pull out a flask and hand it over to my role model. “Liquid courage?”
He lifts the metal to his lips. “Don’t need courage, bro, but one little sip won’t hurt.”
We all pass around the flask, the three of us taking a drink while Jeremy shakes his head.
“Now lets go get married, son!” I shout and we file out of the room, heading for the chapel.
Chapter 18
Delilah
The wedding is beautiful. Everyone looks amazing, even Darcie in her black wedding gown. I wouldn’t have chosen the gown myself, but once it is on her, she looks breathtaking.
I’m speechless when Reggie gets a little choked up reciting his vows to Darcie. There is so much meaning and devotion present in his voice. Then the waterworks start to really fall when I see him kiss her shoulder. I’ve seen him do it a million times, but recently Darcie has told me the story behind it.
Reggie drunkenly admitted he always hated that scar. Then, the first time he admitted he loved her, he kissed that same scar, forever changing their relationship. It’s beautiful. Their love is beautiful and one I hope to have someday with Emerson.
We all count down as a group, and when New Year hits, we toss confetti in the air and make our rounds, kissing each other. Jake and I keep ours friendly by only sharing a kiss on the cheek.
Afterward, everyone decides to go their separate ways. Leaving Jake, Jeremy and I to explore Las Vegas.
“Okay, D! Tonight is going to be an all-nighter. Are you in?”
I look into his eyes and smile as I shout, “Count me in, boys!”
“Now, you know the rules. What we say goes. You’re not going to know what we’re doing and you have to do it, even if it kills you. Okay?”
Blind Love (Sulfur Heights Series) Page 17