Jake is lying on his back, one arm stretched over to the empty side of the bed and the other draped over his eyes. The colorful art on his muscular arms and the lean muscles of his chest are images I’m burning into my mind.
My former self has taken back over with the full realization that we can never be here again. I do love him and it’s because I love him that I will need to let him go. I can’t leave everything I’ve ever known to be here with him.
Leaning down, I kiss him on the cheek and whisper into his skin, “You will always be in my heart, my love.”
Chapter 24
Jake
My body is brushed with a feeling of loss when I startle myself awake. The room is still dark when my eyes open. The bed is empty, her smell is all over me, but she is nowhere to be found. I can’t ignore the panicked feeling growing inside my gut. Stepping from my bed, I slip my boxers on and that’s when I notice her luggage is gone. I walk to the closet, empty. She’s gone. The panicked feeling skyrockets. Why is she gone? Did I scare her? Maybe I hurt her?
Questions are bouncing around in my head and it feels like my brain is jumping wildly on a trampoline as I get dressed in record time. I grab my cell and wallet then run up the stairs, pulling my boots on as I step. I have to stop her. I need to know why she’s gone. I need to know what I’ve done. And I need to bring her back to me.
The rain has finally stopped. The air is cool, chilling my skin, as I run down the back steps toward the garage. Drake is still passed out on the couch and next to him is Jeremy. He vowed to look over Drake last night and I briefly wonder if anything happened. However, I’ve got something just as urgent to take care of. I wake Jeremy for the keys to the Challenger. Without a word, he yanks them out of his pocket and tosses them into the air. I catch the metal then get into the driver’s side door.
Firing the engine, I drive erratically out of the driveway and down the street. I have no idea where she is or when she’s left, but I will find her. If that means driving fourteen hours to Memphis, so be it. I will drive to the ends of the earth to bring her back to me. She’s mine and no one else’s.
My cell phone is digging into my leg when I grab it from my pocket. I know it’s a long shot, but I dial her number. She never answers her phone when she’s upset, especially with me. I dial it anyway, hoping she will give me a break.
Listening to the ringing is pure fucking torture, and when I’m about to hang up, her tear-filled voice cracks from the other end. “Hello?”
“Hey, where did you go?” My gut is twisting with the agony of her answer.
“I… I… had to get back.” Her voice is meek and filled with hurt. I instantly get pissed at myself, knowing I did something without understanding what that something is.
“Where are you?”
“I just made it through Detroit. I’m stopping at a hotel to get some sleep before I leave for Memphis in the morning.” Good, she’s less than two hours from me now. I just need to keep her there. I need to find her and plea with her to come back with me.
“Probably a good idea. There are nice, safe hotels off the interstate about thirty minutes south of Detroit—exit 70, I believe. You should stay there.” Several decent hotels line the interstate outside of Detroit, and if I can get her there, I will be able to find her. I don’t want her to know I’m coming, I just want to be able to see her. Then I know she will come back with me.
“Okay, thanks.” Delilah’s voice is hoarse as she tries to respond without crying.
“Text me when you get settled, so I know you’re okay.”
“I will,” she whispers and hangs up the phone.
I slam on the gas pedal, propelling the Challenger to go faster. The night is hypnotizing as the minimal light from passing cars shines through the windshield. I turn on the music and blast Jimi Hendrix as I drive ninety miles per hour to Detroit.
***
Delilah texts me about twenty minutes after we’ve spoken, telling me she’s settled at an older mom and pop motel with a bright neon green sign. If she’s listened to me, I know exactly what hotel she’s staying at and I can get there in no time.
I finally make it through Detroit where, even though it’s the middle of the night, traffic seems to get in my way. Plus the construction on the interstate slows me down. When I hit the city limits, I’m able to pick up speed. The night sky is still lit up with building lights and streetlamps, but the darkness is getting closer with each mile I drive away from the city.
I pull off the interstate just south of Detroit, about twenty-five miles.
The motel is at the far end of the access road and I’ve never been so excited to see neon green in my entire fucking life. I drive the length of the parking lot, looking for Delilah’s black Lexus, then I spot it at the end of the parking lot.
Now I just need to find her room. Driving back to the front, I notice a young woman working the desk. Perfect. I should be able to charm her instead of having to beat the shit out of some prick for Delilah’s room information.
I park the car in the first available spot and shuffle my way into the hotel. The lobby is quiet at three o’clock in the morning, only the television faintly sounds in the background. I put on my charm when I pull open the lobby door and set my panty dropping smile on the unsuspected clerk.
She’s a good looking black woman with short, black hair, a huge rack, and a bright white smile. In my past life, I would’ve wrapped her thighs around my waist and fucked her until she couldn’t walk, but since Vegas, I’ve had no desire to fuck anyone except Delilah. And tonight, I have only one goal ahead of me and that’s to get Delilah to come home with me.
The clerk straightens herself and flashes her megawatt smile in my direction. Yep, she’s definitely hot, but not what I’m looking for at this moment—or any moment. “How can I help you sir?”
I flash the clerk my smile again and look at her with lust in my eyes. Her name is pinned to the vest covering her tits and I take a moment to study the swell of her breasts. I’m running my game, hustling this unsuspected woman, making her seem like I’m interested. “Hi, Yvonne, I was hoping you could help me.” I wink then lick my lips and keep her dangling on the hook.
“Well.” She leans forward to give me a better view of her tits. “What can I do for you?”
“My friend’s sister just checked in here about two hours ago and I need to find out what room she’s in. Her name is Delilah St. James.” She is hesitant. I can’t afford the clerk to withhold the information so I keep up the game. “There’s been an accident with her twin brother and she’s not answering her cell phone.”
“I’m not allowed to give out personal information of our guests. I’m sorry, but I can’t help you.” Yvonne looks down to the computer and back to me. I only smile in return, making her light up again.
“You don’t need to give me a key. I just want her room number. It’s up to her if she answers the door, but once she sees me she will know it’s an emergency.” It’s amazing how easy the lies fall from my mouth. Normally, I tell the truth—the brutal truth—but tonight I don’t think that will get me what I want. It won’t get me to Delilah. “Please. Her brother is in ICU.” I put my hands on the counter and show her what’s really living inside my eyes. I show her the desperation and Yvonne finally cracks.
“She’s in room 240. It’s on the end. Go out the lobby door and up the stairs to the left.” Yvonne’s smile is full of pity. I take it, though, because she’s gotten me one step closer to Delilah. I thank her as I run out the lobby door and up the stairs to the second floor.
Mentally, I’m running through every possible scenario and finding any where she may dispute why she can’t come home with me. I’m preparing myself to do something I’ve never done. To tell Delilah that I love her. I rehearse the words as I walk down the long hallway to the last door. My heart is racing, slamming in my chest like I’ve just smoked crystal meth. When I raise my hand to the door and knock, I can feel my gut drop. Have I made a huge mistake?
Delilah
The two hour drive was excruciating. Emotions and feelings overwhelmed me. The ache of leaving my friends and the pain from leaving Jake felt like I was dying a slow agonizing death that no one will understand, especially my mother. My eyes couldn’t physically stay open anymore.
When Jake called me, I was discombobulated and aching. My weakness toward him and the yearning I felt to hear his voice prompted me to answer the phone; knowing when I arrive in Memphis, I will need to tell him good bye forever.
Taking Jake’s advice, I pull off the interstate and check in to the cleanest looking hotel along the road. After a hot shower, I dress in a clean tank top and panties. The moment I see the bed, it takes no time for me to drift off into a deep sleep. The sting of the last few days has taken its toll on my nerves and the ability to sleep. I finally give in and crash—hard.
Tap. Tap. Tap
The sound is quiet, however it’s enough to wake me from my sleep. Did I hear knocking? Jarred and confused, I sit up in bed, listening for the sound again. It must have been the neighbors.
I lie back down, settling myself under the covers again, though just when I think I’ve gone crazy, the noise sounds again.
Tap. Tap. Tap
My heart races as the fear of an unknown person knocking on my door grows. I’m not an idiot, I’m in Detroit, for goodness sakes, and I don’t want to become a serial killer’s next victim.
Fueled with panic, I dash from the bed and grab my cell phone off the table. I look around the room for a weapon and dash to my purse, pulling a can of pepper spray from the inside zipper pocket. The only person I can think of to call is Jake and it irritates me that I can no longer do that. He has to be cut from my life and I can’t call him whenever I’m sad, lonely or scared. The tears build, but I blink them away, focusing on the stranger at my door.
I walk to the door slowly, creeping with every step as I approach the wood. I keep my body to the side of the door, hoping my short frame will let me look out the peep hole undetected, but to no avail. I push the curtains back a slight crack and see tattoos I’ve seen a hundred times. Dragons, knights and swords are painted across the familiar forearm as a new form of panic rises from my stomach.
Tap. Tap. Tap
Jake knocks again and I wait, even though I’m not entirely sure what I’m waiting for. For him to go away, perhaps, but before I can open the door, he walks out of sight—gone. I slide my back down the door and plant my rear on the carpet. I know I can’t open the door. I can’t run to him anymore. The moment I left Sulfur Heights I made the decision to remove him from my life.
Tears are moving from the backs of my eyes and falling down my cheeks. What am I doing? I can’t be crying for him. I need to be getting over him as well as everything I can’t have because it’s too dangerous, too rebellious, and everything I’m not supposed to be.
Several minutes go by and I decide to pull myself from the carpet and put myself back to bed. I need to sleep off the heartache and pain living inside me. I just need to be who I’ve been before Jake Evans stormed into my life, ripping apart my perfectly planned future.
Before I can fully allow sleep to claim me, the sounds from the door come back. This time, however, scraping metal replaces the sound of tapping. Scared to see him but excited to be in his arms, I’m in an internal tug of war, battling myself back and forth. Allowing my logic to win, I hop from the bed to put the chain across the lock, but before I can get it hooked, Jake has successfully broke into my hotel room.
He shuts the door behind him, dropping the small, black tool bag to the floor, keeping his intense gaze connected to my eyes. It’s the look he gave me the first time we met and a look he gives me whenever he’s off in deep thought. God knows I miss this look, yet now I’m just scared of it. Not because he will hurt me, it’s because I know myself too well and can never tell him no. The thought of this moment is unnerving, considering we’ve just made love less than five hours ago.
Jake’s chest is rapidly moving up and down, his breaths deep and purposeful. His muscles are flexing underneath his shirt hard with every squeeze of his hands. He doesn’t say a single word as he crosses the room and pulls me into his arms. Jake’s animalistic behavior has me wet in record time and I’m entranced in a moment.
The calluses on his hands are rough as he runs them under my shirt and pulls it over my head. Like the dummy I am, I raise my arms, inviting him to take if off. He tosses it to the floor next to the small black bag.
With one hand on my breast, teasing my nipple, the other hand slowly travels between my breasts and across the plains of my belly until his fingers edge their way into my panties. Then he touches me. It’s the place that has only been touched by one person and that person has me lava hot and on fire.
Jake begins to make small circles on my sweet spot, making me unravel in his hand. The intensity is burning and my legs weaken as he stands there, murdering me with his fingers as he intently watches me fall apart from his touch.
Just as I’m about to collapse on the ground, Jake’s hand leaves my breast and catches me from tumbling down. He kisses the center of my forehead and the warm touch of his fingers leaves my swollen body. He flashes me his trademark smirk as he fists my panties and jerks his arm back, ripping the delicate lace from my body.
I stand naked in front of a fully clothed Jake. Before I have time to be embarrassed or ashamed, Jake picks me up like I weigh nothing at all. Instinct takes over as I wrap my legs around his waist, feeling the hardness in his jeans press into my delicate, sensitive spot.
Walking over to the bed, Jake sets me down and unzips his pants then yanks his shirt off his back and over his head. “I need to be inside you. I drove two fucking hours to be inside you, to be with you. Goddammit, Delilah, I need you so much.”
Before I could stop him or protest, Jake pushes himself inside of me. Gratifying fire erupts from my body as I feel his rock hard manhood impale my tender flesh, creating a sweetly delicious pain that travels up my body, taking over the logical side of my brain—destroying everything I’ve worked hard to put in place.
I drag my legs up to his waist and guide his hips with the heels of my feet, directing him to push faster, to push harder. And he does. Oh, God, he does! His lips are next to my ear and I can hear the panting of his breaths and the growl in his throat as the pleasure I’m giving him makes his body crave every movement from mine.
“Jake… hard—ohhhhhh!” I shout as the world transforms and sends me into outer space. I shiver and shake while my back arches off the mattress as euphoria takes over. Jake pushes hard one final time, grunting and moaning his release when his body fills mine, marking me as his.
I lie with Jake on top of me, and as the fogginess clears, guilt and pain soon take over when I realize the huge mistake I’ve just made. Jake drove two hours to be with me and now I will have to tell him it was all for nothing because, at sunrise, our relationship will have to be exactly that… nothing.
Chapter 25
Jake
I wasn’t expecting her to be standing in the middle of the hotel room when I was able to pick the lock and break into her hotel room. Jeremy keeps an emergency tool kit in the trunk, and I’m glad I’ve convinced him to add our lock picking bag. It’s a hobby we’ve had when we were young, but it has proven to be a skill that comes in handy. I can think of no words when I connect my eyes to hers. She’s standing in the middle of the room, wearing only a shirt and panties making my inhibitions and well -rehearsed speech fall to the wayside. My body overtakes me, and with every desire I have for Delilah, I wrap her in my arms and take her.
The room is quiet when I roll off her body, exhausted from my release and that’s when I notice her face. She doesn’t look satisfied, she looks distant…frightened even, and now I’m growing angry with myself. I’ve taken advantage of her. I came on too strong and she thinks this is the only way I know how to make love, but God it’s not. Not with her. I will treat her as the precio
us woman she is.
I yank up my pants when Delilah rolls off the bed, pulling clothes out of her suitcase. This is the first time I really get a good look of her ass, and as the pig I am, I can’t help but stare at it. It’s perfectly tight, round and firm. My words momentarily escape me as I gawk at her ass. God damn! She’s so fucking hot! I snap my gaze to the floor when she turns around, pulling a shirt over her head—covering her body completely. Good, now I can finally concentrate.
Delilah is shaking and the tears have pooled in her eyes. I move from the bed to comfort her, and as I step closer, she takes a step back, refusing to let me near. Confused I ask, “What? What’s the matter?”
“Just…I…I…just can’t, Jake.” Her arms wrap around her waist and she moves yet another step away. What the fuck?
I went from longing to lust to anger in a matter of moments. My face heats and my muscles tighten as I stare at the woman I love and watch her step away from me. “What do you mean you can’t?”
“I mean I can’t be with you Jake. Not like this. Not again.”
I move from the side of bed to stand in front of her. She won’t look me in the eye because she knows she’s lying to herself and I can immediately call her on it. “Then why were you with me not once but twice today. Why did you beg me to fuck you when you knew you couldn’t or should I say shouldn’t do it?”
“I don’t know.” She whispers as the tears pour from her eyes and for once they don’t affect me. I watch the tears burn her cheeks, knowing she’s covering up her true feelings, denying herself the happiness she deserves all because of her fucking family. It’s something she always does.
“Is this about Emerson? Or your mom? Because I know you’re fucking lying to me right now!” I shout. I’m so angry I’m unable to control the sound of my voice.
“Of course it’s about Emerson, Jake! I’m engaged to be married, I’m supposed to be his wife in May and look what I did! Look what I’ve done!” She unlocks her arms from her waist and begins to pace the room.
Blind Love (Sulfur Heights Series) Page 25