I watched him head down the hallway. He stopped in front of the corkboard I kept by the door where I pinned all the recent Polaroids I took. He yanked on one. Held it up to me, shaking it a little.
It was of me and Jack. Ciana had taken it. He had dipped me down. Kissed my neck at the park.
Hank tucked it in his jacket, then disappeared behind the front door. I ran, locking it behind him as a stream of heat formed in my cheeks.
“Babe?” Jack said from the other side of the hall. Within seconds, he was behind me, turning me in his arms. “What did he do? That fucker. I was only gone for minutes!”
“Nothing.” I buried my face in his neck. “He didn’t do anything,” I lied, hands curled up in the shirt he’d thrown on.
“Jess?”
“Come on.” I wiped under my eyes. “Let’s get dinner started.”
“Babe?”
I forced a smile. “Jack, it’s fine. Okay? I promise.”
He didn’t seem convinced, but he dropped it anyway. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
He followed me into the kitchen. Worked alongside me, keeping his words to himself. I was glad, because I didn’t have the strength to talk about Hank. It was Christmas Eve, and I wanted it to be perfect for the kids. It had to be.
Chapter 24
Jack
Later that night, after the kids were tucked in and Jess was winding down for the night, reading, I kissed her forehead and told her I’d be back.
“Where are you going?”
“I need to do something. I won’t be gone long. I promise.”
“Text me,” she said, turning back to her book.
I drove to the shelter. Parked around back. Popped the trunk, then carried in the bags I’d kept in the back for weeks. Hundreds of toys were already wrapped and left under the tree, each with names on them for all the children in the shelter. We had more than enough volunteers working endlessly leading up to Christmas day, wrapping and labeling the presents.
But as I watched present after present being put under the tree, I realized something was missing. Something we hadn’t accounted for. We were so caught up in making this day special for all the children that we had forgotten about their mothers.
I crept through the barren hallways, heading for the main room where the tree was perched like a jeweled prize, donated by a local tree farm. Colors danced along the walls in merry hues, the string lights streaming from the ceiling. Everyone at the shelter put a lot of work into making the room feel like a home.
For the past two weeks, I spent my volunteered time gathering ideas from all the staff on what the women in the shelter liked. I kept a list of all them, then took myself on a large shopping expedition.
It was hell.
I’d never been good with presents, let alone buying something for strangers. Add to that the stereotypical doubt every man had when it came to buying something for a woman, and it was torture. But I’d managed. Used the gift-wrapping services at the mall to ensure every present was properly wrapped and labeled.
As I placed the gifts along the wall near the tree, someone cleared their throat behind me.
I glanced over my shoulder, mid-crouch.
It was Alma.
“What are you doing?”
I stood, setting the last of the bags down. She stalked over to me, hands on her hips, and peered down. When she raised her head with a jerk, I expected her typical hate-filled scowl, but that wasn’t what I got.
I got shock.
“Are those… for…”
My shoulders gave a rocky lift. “I wanted them to have something, too.”
Her hand rose to her mouth as she studied every bag, reading off the names. “You didn’t forget a single soul.”
My chest expanded like peacock feathers. “I double, then triple checked.”
Her eyes dipped with questions. “I was wrong about you,” she said. “You’re a good man, Jack Swanson.”
I felt like I’d just fallen. Landed smack on my ass. “I’m… huh?”
I couldn’t have heard her right.
Her head shook in awe. “A good man. You’re a good man,” she repeated, her hand resting against her heart.
I grinned.
Yep. I’d heard her all right.
“Wait a second.” I tugged my phone free from my pocket. “Can you repeat that one more time? I’d like to record it, so I can remind you of this moment later when you go back to hating me.”
She laughed then. Bright and rich. Textured with age. “Oh, you,” she said, swatting at me.
I couldn’t believe my ears. Laugher. From the hard-up Alma.
She was still giggling as she ambled out of the room, the merry sound echoing off the walls.
What a strange, strange night.
The next morning, I was up before everyone.
A cup of warm coffee in hand, I stood in front of the window, watching as the snow fell in enchanting wisps. My heart felt airy and light. A small burst of nerves flurried through my stomach.
The kids would be waking soon. Jess told me that Nic liked to set an alarm. It was house rules that no present could be opened before six-thirty in the morning.
I glanced down at my watch. His alarm should be going off any second.
The dinging shrill of the buzzer sounded, and I grinned, listening for his footsteps.
Setting my coffee on the nightstand, I crawled across the bed and kissed Jess’ cheek. “Babe,” I whispered in her ear. “Merry Christmas.”
She stirred, one eye cracking open as she rolled in my arms. “Mmm?” She yawned, her arms stretching.
“They’re up.” I sat back, offering her the coffee I made for her.
She lifted and took it, bringing it to her lips. “Mmmm,” she moaned over the rim, licking her lips. “You’re a godsend.”
“Don’t forget that when you’re angry with me.”
“Never.”
“You sure about that?”
A smirk stole across her lips. “Well… maybe…”
“Mom!” Ciana shouted in the doorway. “You’re taking, like, forever.”
Jess rolled her eyes, still smiling as she sludged out of bed and slid into her slippers. Nic and Ciana were crowded around the tree, passing each other their gifts. Stacking them up beside themselves.
“Go for it,” Jess said as she took her spot beside me on the couch.
My mouth was wide by the time they finished unwrapping them all. “Ten minutes,” I said in awe, glancing down at my watch. “It literally took them ten minutes to plow through all that hard work.”
Jess patted me on the back. “It’s amazing, isn’t it?”
I scratched my forehead. “You spent how many hours wrapping them?”
“Too many to count.”
I pressed my fingers to my temples. “All for it to be shredded into a heaping mound on the floor in less than ten minutes.”
She laughed. “Welcome to Christmas morning.”
The kids were too busy admiring all their new gifts to bother with what I was saying. Ciana had more makeup than I’d ever seen, taking pictures of her stuff and sending them in texts. Nic was surrounded with action figures and games. Gadgets and clothes nearly buried beneath the mess.
Getting up, I moved to reach behind the tree where I’d snuck Jess’ gift the night before. Her mouth dropped open when I handed it to her, cheeks brightening into soft shade of pink.
“Jack!” she stammered. “We agreed not to do anything for each other.”
“I know.”
She reached behind the couch, pulling out a small box with a good-natured eye roll. “It’s a good thing I know you. You can’t follow a rule to save your life.”
I took the gift, chuckling. “You first.” It had been hell keeping the secret from her.
She pulled out a small key. “What is this?”
“The key to your new shelter.”
Her face puckered in question.
“I’ve ha
d this building for years. It was given to me by my father after he passed. I just never knew what to do with it. You said you wanted to expand. With the new shop and the branding on the table to go national, I figured the shelter needed to follow suit. We’ve outgrown where we are. This building will provide shelter for thousands more.”
She pulled out the sheet of paper beneath the key, then unfolded it. Her hand shot to her mouth as she stared from the paper to me. “Jack, oh my God.”
“It’s downtown. It used to be a small hotel. They wanted to demolish it, but I did the research. If you want to move forward, Aaron said we could get the grants to turn it into an extension of the shelter.”
I wouldn’t make the same mistakes I made in the past. Every decision made would be made together.
Tears slid over her cheeks as she jumped on me, hugging me tight. “I don’t know what to say. This is… this is the best gift I’ve ever received. It’s going to make mine look silly.”
I kissed her hair. Banded my arms around her. “Just being here with you is all I need.”
“The girls are going to freak. Can you imagine? All the people we can help? All the space we’ll have?”
“So that’s a yes?”
“That’s a hell yes!” When she pulled back, she pointed to the box beside me. “Open it!”
It took me seconds to get through it. On the inside was a new Rolex.
“Flip it over,” she said giddily.
It was inscribed on the back with a raven, wings spread as it soared, and the words: The air to my wings.
I hugged her to me, a dull ache building in my throat. “It’s perfect.”
“Get a room,” Ciana shouted, smirking when we turned on her.
Together, we got up and chased the kids through the house, tickling when we could, shouts and laughter filling the halls.
After the kids left with Hank, we headed to the shelter.
There were bags upon bags filled with ripped-up wrapping paper as volunteers stood back with smiles, watching as the kids oohed and awed over their gifts. The scent of cinnamon and coffee wafted around us. Some of the kids played with their new toys, while others picked at their cinnamon rolls.
The women were in tears as they held up their gifts to each other, showing them off. Thanking whoever was closest to them.
“How did they—” Jess started to say, the shock on her face filling with emotion.
Pride and a sunny happiness took shape on my mouth. “We couldn’t very well leave them out, now could we?”
It was adorable the way her mouth parted slightly in surprise. “You did this?”
“Just call me Santa.”
“You didn’t tell me.”
I kissed her head. “Merry Christmas, love.” I knew witnessing this was just as much a gift for her as it was for me.
Her hands slid around my waist as she rested her head against my shoulder. “This is the most perfect Christmas ever.”
“That it is.”
She spun in my arms, hugging me, her chin pressed against my chest. “I don’t… my heart is so full I feel it could burst.”
Her words mirrored my insides. It didn’t seem real… being this happy. Feeling this much joy.
“How did we get so blessed?”
I nudged her nose. “Because you’re an angel, Jess. This is all because of you. Because of your strength. Because of your heart.”
Her inner light beamed from her eyes.
“Oh, stop being modest,” Alma said from behind us. She stopped next to me, watching the women as they celebrated with their kids. “I haven’t seen this much happiness inside these walls in years. Look at them.” Her chin pointed in their direction. “Pure joy. That isn’t an accident.” She looked between us. “It’s you two. It’s this.” She joined our hands together. “Love. That’s what made this happen.”
Humor tipped off the edge of my tongue at Jessica’s widened gaze. “Did she just say that?”
“Weird, right?”
She placed her hand on Alma’s forehead. “You don’t feel warm.”
Alma swatted at her, and then walked away.
“Jess!” one of the workers shouted. “Let’s get a picture.”
She kissed me on the cheek. “Be right back.”
I decided then I wasn’t going to tell her about the night before. My run in with Alma. It was a small piece of something I wanted to keep for myself. All my life I’d calculated my decisions for the respect of others. I never did anything of value because I simply wanted to. I did it for the admiration. For the cheer.
But those gifts… I did that because those women were hurt. They’d lost faith in humanity. I wanted to restore that. They deserved happiness just as much as the next person. For me, receiving Alma’s praise… that was the first time in my life I had ever been complimented for something I did selflessly. And by someone tougher than my mother, no less.
I would keep those words pinned to my heart. A reminder I could be a good man.
I was a good man.
I would continue to be one.
Chapter 25
Jessica
It was a pain having children in the same birth month, let alone two days apart in date from each other.
But then again, I never did anything the easy way.
Nic’s birthday was just two days before Ciana’s. That brought on the annual argument over what the shared party’s theme would be. We tried to make it as fair as possible. After all, there was nothing worse than having to share a day that someone felt was theirs with another person.
This year, we settled on having the party at a local park. The theme would be to just have fun. Jack found a good deal online for some laser tag equipment, so he ordered enough for all the kids who RSVP’d, then had everything set up and ready for when guests started to arrive.
It was a warm day for March. The sun was out. The birds were chirping. Everything was perfect.
I, on the other hand, was trying to keep my shit together. Hank and his parents would be arriving soon. His mother insisted on making the cake, something she did every year. It was bad enough knowing Jack and Hank would be around one another again after what happened on Christmas Eve, but adding his mother in the mix had my nerves on edge.
About two weeks ago, we finalized our mediation, then received our court date for when the judge would decide custody and child support. Though I declined receiving any, Hank insisted should the court rule in my favor.
“What if Max doesn’t come?” Ciana chewed on the edge of her thumb, worry taking flight in her eyes.
I clipped the vinyl cloth to the table, so it wouldn’t fly away. “He RSVP’d, Ciana.”
“Yeah, but what if it was as a joke? Or worse… what if he realized I’m a total loser and decided not to show?”
The concern in her voice made me smile. I did not miss being her age. Turning, I braced my hands on her shoulders and leveled my gaze on her. “Ciana, first, you’re not a loser. You’re a beautiful, smart, funny, bright young woman. Second, if a boy decided not to come over something untrue, then he wasn’t worth it to begin with. And third,” I said, making sure she was paying attention. “Stop worrying. Don’t let a boy make or break your happiness. You control that, understand?”
“Yes, Momma.” She chewed on her lip, hands twisting in front of her. I knew saying it and doing it were two completely different things. She needed a distraction. Something to take her mind off this Max kid.
Brushing her hair behind her ear, I said, “I need to set the centerpieces up. Can you please help me with that?”
There was a flicker of appreciation in her eyes, masked by the adolescent need to groan at any sign of work. “Sure,” she said, turning to grab the decorations.
I smiled after her, placing the last clip on the table. Oh, to be young and in love. Jack whizzed by with Nic on his tail, shooting at him, crazed with laughter.
“Help!” Jack called as he moved behind a tree. He lifted his arm, speaking into his watc
h. “The enemy is locked on target and moving in.”
I shook my head, giggling as I bent down for the pinata.
“Didn’t your mother ever teach you how to bend like a lady?”
It was Maria’s shrill voice. A blistering plague to any ease I felt.
“Hi, Maria.” I spun in her direction, holding the pizza pinata against my chest.
She sat the cake down on the table. “I hope everyone likes chocolate. I was up all night working on this cake. Barely had a wink of sleep.”
“I’m sure it’s perfect.” I tried with everything I had to keep my voice even and polite. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to hang this.”
I all but ran from her, desperate to put space between me and that bitter old woman.
“Need help?” Hank called from behind me. He was dragging a cooler behind him, a beer in hand.
Great… he was going to drink. Please, let him be on his best behavior today.
“Sure.” I held his beer when he handed it to me. There was something off about him, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. A difference in the way he held himself. Like he was on edge.
He threw the string over the branch, then tied it off, tugging until the pizza was at my eye level.
“Where’s Nic?”
I glanced over my shoulder, pressing my hand against my forehead as I squinted my eyes. “He was…”
“Ahhh!” Jack’s yell cut through the air. And then a second later, he fell to the ground from behind a tree, clutching his chest as if he’d been shot.
Nic appeared from behind another tree, jumping up and down, shouting in excitement. “I got you! I got you!”
Hank groaned. “Mature.”
“They’re playing,” I said with a tired sigh.
Here we go.
He sniffed, rubbing his nose. That was when I realized how dilated his pupils were. “Are you… are you high?” I leaned in. “You still have white shit on your nose! Hank! Are you fucking kidding me?” I hissed, shoving him.
He was laughing, pointing to Jack. “This isn’t about me. He’s a grown-ass man playing with a young boy. There’s something wrong with him, I bet. Probably sick in the head.”
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