Twenty minutes later she sat down to a hot meal of pork and potato hash, salad and the cider she’d returned to the table. “You have skills, cowboy.” She dug her fork into the fragrant hash.
He grinned. “Thanks.”
She chewed and swallowed. “This is fabulous.” She pointed her fork at her plate. “I was starving.”
He sighed. “I have yet to figure out how to simultaneously feed a woman and make love to her. I’ll work on it.”
“Don’t get me wrong. You made the right choice, sex first and food second, but the sex made me even hungrier. This tastes like heaven.”
“It turned out pretty well.” He took another bite and appeared to evaluate as he chewed and swallowed. “Might add some oregano if I make it again.”
“You should make it again, on purpose. I’ll bet the Brotherhood would love it, too. You should try it on them.”
“Maybe I will.” He took a sip of his cider. “I heard you say something about CJ eating Nick’s sandwich cookies. What’s up with that?”
“Evidently CJ and Nick were commiserating about not having girlfriends.”
“Because of us?”
“I’m sure that doesn’t help, but neither did the wedding. Or seeing Zoe and Seth looking so happy.”
Jake nodded. “I can see how that would affect them, but what’s the cookie connection?”
“Nick told CJ that the cookies ease the sting of disappointment. Now CJ’s hooked on ’em, too.” She took another bite of her dinner.
“That’s not manly.”
She started laughing and almost choked on her food.
“Hey, there.” He reached over and rubbed her back. “Take it easy, champ.”
She nodded and recovered herself enough to chew and swallow.
“Better?”
“Yes.” She wiped her eyes, picked up her cider and took a swallow. “Not manly?” She grinned and shook her head. “Would you rather have them drowning their sorrows in booze?”
His expression was solemn except for the mischief gleaming in his eyes. “That’s how it’s done. Every cowboy knows that.”
“Is that what you do?”
“My goal is to avoid sorrows I have to drown.”
* * *
The next morning, Henri invited the staff to the ranch house for a late lunch and a discussion about Friday night’s homecoming party for the newlyweds.
The Babes on Buckskins had all chipped in on a gift for Lucy, plus Ed had an additional gift for her. The combination was spectacular enough to warrant an elegant presentation over at Ed’s indoor arena. Millie was eager for Matt and Lucy’s return and excited about the party, but discussing it highlighted the passing of time and the approach of the weekend, namely Sunday. D-Day.
After a boisterous lunch in Henri’s dining room, everyone pitched in to clean up the dishes and then the guys all left. Henri excused herself to handle some email and Kate walked Millie out, clearly wanting conversation.
She paused at the top of the steps. “Garrett seems to be fitting in.”
“Uh-huh. Do you think he knows about the Brotherhood yet?”
“He doesn’t. The guys are waiting for Matt before they say anything. Jake hasn’t mentioned that to you?”
“He hasn’t. I’m out of the loop.”
“Which is funny, since you’re sleeping with the loop master. Or he is until Matt gets back tomorrow night.”
“Well, I know nothing.” She glanced toward the cottage. Jake’s truck hadn’t been there when she’d walked over to the ranch house. Now it sat parked in front, the dark blue paint job gleaming. He’d washed it this morning. She looked over at Kate. “Care for a spot of tea?”
“You know it, girlfriend. I’ve missed our tea breaks.” She headed for the steps.
Millie followed her down and walked beside her over the well-worn path between the house and the cottage.
“Jake’s truck looks good.”
“Yeah, doesn’t it, though.”
“You have something against clean trucks?”
“No, I just… I’m not sure how to explain.”
“We’ll get some tea. Tea clears the mind.”
“Then I need a couple gallons of the stuff.” She walked faster to keep up with Kate. Her roommate never wasted time getting from Point A to Point B.
“Ah. I sense trouble in paradise.” Kate reached the steps and was up them and across the porch in no time.
“Not really. I mean, most women would thank their lucky stars for a guy like Jake.”
“You’ll get no argument from me.” Kate went in the house. “I’ll make the tea.”
“No, I’ll make the tea.”
“Whoa! By all means, make the tea. I didn’t know you were so invested.”
“Sorry. I’m a little touchy.”
“I would say so. Is it okay if I get out the teacups?”
“Please do.” She put the water on and measured tea into the pot. “And the honey.”
“I’m on it.” She set the cups and saucers on a tray along with a jar of honey she took out of the cupboard. “Kitchen or living room?”
“Living room, please.” She poured hot water into the pot.
“I’ll go move your rocker.” Picking up the tray, Kate left.
Millie braced her arms against the counter and took several deep breaths. She’d wanted to help him wash that darned truck. Why couldn’t he have agreed to do it together?
Kate had settled down on the sofa by the time she brought the pot in. She added honey to each cup and poured the tea before settling into the rocker.
Kate picked up her tea and blew on it. “I don’t know why this should taste any better in porcelain cups than in one of Henri’s pottery mugs, but it does.”
“I agree.” She took a sip. “I need to get back to afternoon tea. With you.”
“I would have suggested it, but I didn’t want to interfere with whatever was going on over here.”
“It’s…” Millie sighed and leaned her head back against the carved wood of the rocker. “The sex is great. Better than anything I’ve ever known.”
“Seething with jealousy over her. But do go on.”
“But that’s the only time I feel as if we’re a couple. The only time we have genuine give-and-take. He could have told me what’s going on with the Brotherhood. We used to talk about stuff like that.”
“If he’s a typical male, he doesn’t want to waste time discussing extraneous business when he could be playing mattress bingo with you.”
“Are you saying sex has ruined our friendship?”
“Not permanently, but you’ve given him the keys to the candy store. You can’t blame the guy for being dazzled by all the goodies.”
“Oh, Kate.” She grinned. “Nobody breaks it down like you. I’m sure that’s part of it. He got pulled over yesterday on the 89 because he was so excited to get back here.”
“Jake? Speeding?”
“Yep. But please don’t mention it. I think he’s embarrassed.”
“My lips are sealed, but that’s so unlike him. He can be a smartass, but not when he’s on the road. Did he get ticketed?”
“No, because he told the officer he was eager to see his girlfriend.”
“That’s priceless. Then he’s crazy about you and the sex is terrific. What’s the fly in the ointment?”
“We’re living together, but it doesn’t feel like it. He washed his truck over at the bunkhouse this morning even though I told him I’d love to help. He takes his laundry there, too. I have to pester him to let me help in the kitchen and he’s determined to do the dishes. After he shaves in the morning, he takes his shaving kit out of the bathroom and puts it in his designated dresser drawer.”
“You’re right. Any woman in America would kill for a guy like that. He stays out of your way except when it’s time for sex. Then he’s all in. If that doesn’t work for you, can I have him?”
Millie groaned. “Call me crazy, but it’s not working for me. I don’t want him t
o stay out of my way. I want him to be here, really here, and not some fabulous cook who’s also available for sex.”
“Don’t broadcast his MO. I’m telling you, you’ll get a stampede.”
“Are you saying I’m weird because I want more than that?”
Kate smiled. “No, I’m saying you’re in love. And so is he, poor slob. I’m guessing he’s never felt like this before. Never allowed himself to. He has no idea what to do.”
When I’m holding you, I know what to do. “I’ve tried to tell him, but he—”
“Doesn’t hear you?”
“Right.”
“Either doesn’t hear you or doesn’t believe you. Could be either, but it sounds like he’s scared.”
“Scared? Jake?”
“It would explain why he’s not listening. But a big strong guy like Jake would hate admitting that he’s afraid.”
“He did say living with me is like stepping into an alternate reality.”
“One he clearly likes and doesn’t want to lose. His strategy is to stick with what he knows you like, the sex and the hot meals, and avoid causing you any trouble whatsoever.”
“How do I get through to him?”
“It’s tricky. He’s spent his adult life avoiding pain. If you tell him he’s doing this wrong, he could run.”
“I won’t say it like that. No blame here. To be fair, we’ve just started this project. If I thought this trend would change over time, I’d wait it out, but—”
“I doubt it’ll change on its own. He’s establishing a pattern. One you don’t want.”
“And if he can’t break out of it, we don’t have a future.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
Something was going on with Millie. Jake couldn’t put his finger on it, but he sensed a change of mood when they’d made love last night. He didn’t know what to do about it.
She’d told him this morning that she wouldn’t be home until late afternoon, which wasn’t her normal schedule but made sense when she’d described her day. A flood of reservations for this weekend meant prepping more cabins. Bookings always increased when the temperatures rose.
On top of that, she was excited about decorating Matt and Lucy’s cabin for their return that night. By tucking all the flowers from the wedding in the dining hall’s cold storage, she’d saved most of them from wilting. She planned to fill the cabin with those flowers, turn back the sheets, leave chocolates on the pillows—all the special touches that made her so good at her job.
The cottage had been spotless when he’d arrived Monday night. But this was Thursday afternoon, and he hadn’t run the vacuum as he’d planned. The ashes needed to be shoveled out of the fireplace. He’d kept her so busy having sex that she hadn’t had time for chores, either.
She deserved to come home to a clean house, and he could make that happen. After locating her supplies, he dived in. Compared to the mess the Brotherhood could make, this was nothing.
By the time she walked through the door a little after five, the house sparkled and the aroma of baking chicken breasts drifted from the kitchen. Damn nice environment, if he did say so.
She took one look around and burst into tears.
“Millie?” He pulled her into an embrace because what else could he do? Were these happy tears? Didn’t sound like it.
He held her until she stopped crying. Then he pulled a bandana out of his back pocket and pushed it into her hand. “Here you go.”
She sniffed. “Thank you.” First she mopped her wet face and then she blew her nose. Created some noise doing it, too. Kind of like an angry goose.
Made him smile. When she was worked up, she forgot about being ladylike. He enjoyed the hell out of that in bed, and here, too, although her tears were confusing. Not what he’d been going for.
She gazed up at him, her eyes still damp. “I’m sorry I lost it. I guess I’m more exhausted than I thought.”
“Exactly why I wanted to do this for you.”
“And the house is beautiful, Jake. Thank you. And dinner smells delicious.”
“Sure didn’t intend for you to start crying.”
“I’ll bet not.”
“Why did you?”
She sniffed. “Because you did it by yourself.”
“Right, because I wanted to save you the trouble. You’ve had a busy week and I’ve been monopolizing a lot of your time.”
“But…” She paused as if gathering her thoughts.
Or her courage. Hard to tell which. Either way, sentences that started with but were often followed by something he didn’t want to hear.
She drew in a shaky breath. “I would like… no, I would love us to be a team, like… the Brotherhood.”
“The Brotherhood?”
“You know, sharing the load, all for one and one for all.”
“That’s what I thought I was doing by cleaning the house.”
“It was a wonderful gesture.” She gazed up at him. “Have you ever cleaned the entire bunkhouse as a surprise for your brothers?”
“Of course not. That would be weird.”
“Because you’re all on equal footing. That’s what I’m looking for. Equal footing.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. There’s no comparison between the Brotherhood and us.” Frustration crowded his chest and he couldn’t tamp it down. “Guys get it all out, they mix it up, but when it’s two people, a man and a woman, it’s… different.”
“Why?”
“It just is. It’s like a damned minefield.”
“I don’t see it that way.” She wiggled out of his arms. “I realize you were subjected to that as a child, but you and I aren’t living in the middle of a minefield.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, absolutely. I—”
“I cleaned the house and fixed a chicken dinner because I thought you’d be pleased, and—”
“I am! But—”
“You are not! You’re in tears because I did it by myself while you were working your tail off. If that’s not a minefield, what is?”
“You’re giving me what you think I want, but you’re not—”
“What could be better than coming home to a clean house and a hot meal?”
“Letting me help you wash your truck! Setting up laundry day where we do it together! Letting me into your life the way you’ve let your brothers in!”
A thick, heavy blanket of soggy despair settled on his shoulders. She was yelling. He was yelling. “I’m sorry, Millie. What you’re asking… I don’t know how…” He swallowed. “I don’t know how to do that.”
“Of course you do. You do it every day in the bunkhouse.”
“This is not the bunkhouse, damn it!” Yelling again. Keys. Where? Oh, yeah. In the dresser drawer, where they wouldn’t encroach on her space.
He walked back to her bedroom, pocketed the keys and headed for the front door.
“What, you’re leaving?”
“I don’t have a better idea.”
“I do! You could stay and we could work this out.”
“’I don’t know how to do that, either.”
“You do it all the time with your brothers!”
“You are not one of my brothers.” And he couldn’t treat her like she was. She was so much more. And clearly he couldn’t handle more.
Getting out to the truck was a chore with lead weights hanging off every part of him. He couldn’t seem to start the engine, either. Had to hurry, in case she came after him. He didn’t want that.
Oh, yeah, he did. Two days ago, she’d rushed out and climbed on the running board to get to him. Likely wouldn’t be doing that tonight.
The engine roared to life. He backed out, not sure where he was going. He ended up in front of the bunkhouse. As he grabbed his hat off the dash and climbed down, the scent of sloppy joes drifted in his direction. CJ had taken one of his suggestions.
Maybe Garrett had put the meal together. The new hire made going inside tougher. Garrett w
asn’t one of them. Not yet.
Squaring his shoulders and taking a deep breath, he opened the screen and the front door. Rafe and Nick looked up from the checkers game they were playing beside the wood stove. They exchanged a glance and stood.
Rafe kept his voice low. “I need to fetch wood for the stove. Want to help?”
Jake nodded. Garrett and CJ were laughing about something in the kitchen. Probably hadn’t heard him come in.
“I’ll go, too.” Nick grabbed his jacket and hat from the back of his chair. “Can always use more wood.”
Leo came out of the bathroom and paused. “What the—”
“We’re fetching wood.” Rafe put on his hat. “Going out the front.”
“I’ll help.” Leo unhooked his hat and jacket from pegs in the wall above his bed.
Ridiculous as the subterfuge was, Jake appreciated the effort. The woodpile was out back. The kitchen door was the logical access point. But this trip had nothing to do with wood.
He headed in that direction, anyway. The moon was up, so he could see where he was going and watch for skunks. They loved the shelter of that woodpile.
No critters with a white stripe showed up as he approached. He turned around to face his brothers. “It’s over.”
Their muttered responses showed off an impressive vocabulary. The Brotherhood had a talent for swearing when the occasion called for it.
Nick blew out a breath. “Looks like I’ll be needing more cookies.”
“Thanks for the thought, but I don’t need—”
“Don’t knock ’em ’till you’ve tried ’em, Jake. CJ’s a big fan.”
“Enough about the cookies.” Leo stepped closer and rested a hand on Jake’s shoulder. “What happened, bro?”
“I cleaned the house to surprise her when she came home. She didn’t like that.”
“Whaaat?” Leo stared at him as if he’d lost his mind.
And he might, any second, now. “She didn’t object to me cleaning it. She thanked me and said it looked nice. She objected because I did it by myself.”
“And you broke something,” Rafe said. “Some glass doodad she treasured.”
“I didn’t break anything. Used all her products. Figured she’d prefer that. The place looked great.”
Big-Hearted Cowboy (The Buckskin Brotherhood Book 2) Page 14