Miss Chopsticks

by Xinran

  The next morning Five woke up surrounded by a beautiful fragrance. At first she thought that she was still dreaming – she had spent the night dancing and singing in grassy meadows – but gradually she realised that she had gone to sleep in Mei Mei’s bed. She looked across at the spare bed and saw Mei Mei wrapped in a towel, fast asleep. It was only eight o’clock so she closed her eyes and tried to recapture her beautiful dream.

  The ten beds in the girls’ dormitory were arranged in two rows on either side of the room. Mei Mei, who was the dormitory head, slept closest to the door, in Bed One; Five was opposite her, in Bed Ten. The girl who had slept in Bed Nine had left and not been replaced. All sorts of girls worked at the Dragon Water-Culture Centre, but most of them came, if not from the city, then from a town. It was difficult for Five to talk to them. They looked down on her because she came from a village, and their conversation was full of words that Five didn’t understand – words like ‘trendy’, ‘sushi’, ‘ku’ (cool) or ‘yi-mei’er’ (email). It took Five ages to work out that ‘hunk’ meant a ‘handsome boy’, and ‘babes’ were pretty girls. But it wasn’t only the words they used that made them difficult to understand. They all spoke different dialects! There was a girl from Ningbo, a city very close to Shanghai, who Five couldn’t understand at all. She had arrived quite recently and always looked very smart, but she had a high-pitched voice that was almost unbearable to listen to, and used different words for ‘I’, ‘you’ and ‘her’. Then there was the girl from Hubei Province who used the same word for ‘shoes’ and ‘children’. Even the girl who came from Anhui, Five’s province, presented problems: the northern Anhui dialect she spoke was so different from Five’s that when, at the start of each day, she said, ‘Who wants to die? If none of you are dying, I’ll go and die!’ she filled Five with fear, until she realised that the girl was actually saying, ‘Who wants to wash? If none of you are washing, I’ll go and wash!’

  Five even had difficulty remembering these girls’ names. In order to do so, she secretly created a foot diagram in her head. The five beds on one side of the room were the left foot, the five on the other side, the right. Mei Mei was, of course, the first toe of the right foot. Then came the girl from Sichuan, who was forever fretting about whether her chilli sauce was going to run out. The third toe on the right was the one from the north of Anhui while the fourth was the Hubei girl with pebble glasses. The fifth toe of the right foot and the first of the left foot were both from north-east China. Every day they complained about the heat in loud voices that sounded like they were quarrelling. Whenever they were in the room, Mei Mei would hide herself away somewhere else to read; but Five found these two girls the easiest to understand.

  The second toe on the left foot was from Xinxiang in Henan Province. Her elder sister and her younger brother were foot masseurs too. Mei Mei said that foot masseurs from Henan were like sports shoes from Wenzhou – they had taken over all big cities in China, and had a very good reputation. The third toe of the left foot was the new girl from Ningbo, the fourth toe wasn’t anyone and the fifth was Five herself.

  Of course there were dozens of other girls at the Water-Culture Centre who didn’t sleep in the dormitory and whose names and job titles Five had difficulty with. She was at a complete loss to remember who did what shift until Auntie Wang devised a system for her: the soles of the feet were women and the tops of the feet were men; the left foot was the early shift and the right foot was the late shift. Auntie Wang would say things like ‘The left sole needs more towels’ or ‘Take these disposable slippers to the top of the right foot’.

  Auntie Wang and Mei Mei always looked out for Five because they were becoming increasingly fond of her. Despite her growing skill, there was still so much she didn’t know, and so much potential trouble for her to get into. One night Mei Mei’s heart skipped a beat when she had to rescue Five from a situation that would have been embarrassing for her, and possibly disastrous for others.

  It was Mei Mei’s job to stay awake until all the girls in the dormitory were safely in their beds. She was used to the fact that Five often returned to the room much later than the others because she was spending time with Engineer Wu. However, when at half past two, Five still wasn’t back, she started to worry. Mei Mei went to the reception desk to check through the signatures in the clocking-on book. Manager Shui was very particular about employees signing in and out, rather than using punch cards, and so Five marked her name with a figure ‘5’. There was no ‘5’ indicated as having left the building, though, and the security guard on the door said that, as far as he was aware, everyone had finished work.

  Mei Mei’s immediate thought was to try the pump room because she knew how fascinated Five was by it. The employees had nicknamed this area of the Water-Culture Centre the ‘Tiger Stove’, after it was called this by a civil engineer from Shanghai, who had come to bathe at the invitation of Manager Shui. The man had joked that Shui’s business was just like the ‘Tiger Stoves’ in the old quarters of Shanghai that sold hot water to the locals so that they could wash and drink tea. He said there were many explanations why these hot-water shops were called ‘Tiger Stoves’. Some people thought it was because the wood-burning stoves used to heat the water looked like tigers, with burning eyes and the flue for a tail. Others thought it was because Western-style houses in Shanghai had lots of chimneys, and the English word for ‘roof’ sounded like the Shanghai word for ‘tiger’.

  At night, the Water-Culture Centre’s ‘Tiger Stove’ was only dimly lit, and Mei Mei was afraid. It felt as if a ghost might pop up from behind a row of pipes at any moment. With her heart racing, she was just about to turn back when she heard panting, and the voice of Engineer Wu whisper, ‘Aiya, quick, hurry, I can’t hold out much longer.’

  ‘Hold on a bit. Soon, soon …’ replied Auntie Wang, wheezing and gasping.

  ‘How close are you?’

  Engineer Wu sounded as if he was about to take his last breath.

  ‘Almost there …’ panted Auntie Wang.

  There was some grunting followed by an ecstatic ‘Yesss!’ from Auntie Wang and an ‘Ahhh. …’ from Engineer Wu that sounded like a low, drawn-out growl.

  A thought popped into Mei Mei’s head. People talked about how well Engineer Wu and Auntie Wang got on. Could it be that they were … But before the thought could develop in Mei Mei’s mind, she quelled it. Hurriedly turning back to leave the Tiger Stove, she bumped into someone in the dark. They both squealed with fright.

  ‘Who’s that?’ everyone said at the same time.

  Mei Mei was so terrified that she didn’t know what to do, but she realised that the person she had bumped into was Five, and she too was shaking like a leaf.

  ‘Who’s there?’ whispered Auntie Wang, coming towards them.

  Five was just about to reply, when Mei Mei clapped a hand over her mouth, and ran for the exit, pulling Five with her. The two girls hid in a storeroom until they saw Engineer Wu and Auntie Wang go out of the building through the iron side door. They they rushed back to the dormitory, avoiding the security guard as he did his rounds. Fortunately, all the other girls were sound asleep after their hard day’s work. ‘Remember, we didn’t hear or see a thing,’ whispered Mei Mei to Five who had jumped into bed and was still quaking beneath her quilt. ‘This whole thing was a dream … Otherwise neither of us will be able to keep our jobs. Remember – it was just a dream …’

  That night Five dreamed she was standing in a snowy field, holding up a big pig, waiting for her father’s knife to strike. She woke up to find the girl in the next bed looking at her curiously.

  ‘Where were you last night?’ she asked. ‘When I got up to go to the toilet, your sofa was empty.’

  Five froze as the events of the previous night came rushing back.

  ‘She got into my bed for a chat,’ said Mei Mei hastily. ‘We talked and talked and she fell asleep on me. It was a real squash. I tried to sleep but in the end I had to send her back to her own bed. I
didn’t sleep well all night, when it was nearly light I’d had enough, I sent her away to her own sofa. Isn’t that right, Five? From the way you were tossing and turning, it seemed as if my bed made you have an interesting dream …’

  ‘Yes, I did!’ said Five. ‘I dreamed you told me it was just a dream …’

  The whole dormitory erupted into laughter and Mei Mei took the opportunity to pull Five into the bathroom:

  ‘Remember what I said. Forget all about it.’

  Five nodded earnestly. She knew that Mei Mei had her best interests at heart.

  It wasn’t too difficult to pretend nothing had happened. The next day was Auntie Wang’s day off and, even though Five’s heart jumped like a startled rabbit every time she bumped into Engineer Wu, he treated her exactly as he always did. Five was beginning to wonder if the whole thing really had been a dream when Auntie Wang casually dropped into the conversation, ‘I know you like little Mei Mei, Five, I like her too … But you mustn’t keep her awake at nights. She’s the mainstay of the Foot Massage Section. Next time you want someone to talk to I’ll take you home for a chat myself!’

  For several days after this, Five was terrified that Auntie Wang knew everything. But Heaven came to her rescue by sending two new assistants for Engineer Wu who distracted Auntie Wang’s attention. The two men were both called Zhao, though they were not related. One was an electrician, the other a plumber. Big Zhao the electrician was extremely tall. He was a tough man with a rough voice to match, and was called the Internal Combustion Engineer behind his back because he was always losing his temper. Zhao the plumber was tall and thin and rapidly acquired the nickname of Beansprout Zhao. His favourite occupations were chatting up girls and reading jokes on his mobile phone. He had Auntie Wang in stitches at least three times a day.

  Five never understood exactly why Auntie Wang was laughing but she knew that Beansprout Zhao’s jokes were dirty. She had heard one of them once when he came over to their table at suppertime.

  ‘Auntie Wang, I got a text message today,’ he said, grinning. ‘D’you want to hear it?’

  ‘You and your jokes,’ Auntie Wang said teasingly. ‘Have the girls chased you away from their table again? Go on then, if it’s funny, Mr Mobile Phone.’

  ‘OK … So there’s this elephant and camel, and they’re quarrelling. The elephant gets very angry and says, “What’s so special about you then? Just a pair of women’s tits on your back!” Well, the camel isn’t going to take this lying down, so he says, “I’m better than you anyway, with that man’s thing on your face!” A passing snake laughs at this. “What are you laughing at, Snake,” says the elephant furiously. “Where’s your face then? Growing on your dick!”’

  ‘Waaaa … you’re killing me, you wretch!’ said Auntie Wang, pounding the table with laughter. ‘Get along with you, or I won’t be able to eat any supper!’

  Five was horrified. If her mother knew she’d heard such a story, she’d be in big trouble. Five was always very cautious with the men at the Water-Culture Centre, remembering her mother’s advice that there were no men who didn’t have a roving eye. Her mother said that all men ate from their family’s wok while looking into other families’ bowls. Even her father had got mixed up with the woman who watched the teastall for the road menders. For a few days it was as if his soul had left his body. Five thought it must have been the woman’s fault because her father was always saying that women who provoked men were the troublemakers. That was why she took such care over her behaviour, staying close to Auntie Wang and Engineer Wu. She didn’t want to be considered stupid and have a bad name. What could she do now that she had discovered that her protectors did that awful thing the villagers called ‘stealing chickens and dogs’?

  Time had passed quickly at the Dragon Water-Culture Centre and summer was approaching. Five couldn’t believe how long she had been there. In the countryside the days spent bent over the earth, without being able to see even the raised edge of the field, felt endless. The only time the backbreaking work eased off was at the ends of the lunar and solar calendar, and there were hardly any days of rest for the villagers. Five thought about how she would long for the Mid-Autumn Festival and the Dragon Boat Festival when, for the only times in the year, they would eat steamed buns made from white flour rather than the usual sweet-potato flour. City people, on the other hand, seemed to have a festival every two or three days, and the Dragon Water-Culture Centre was constantly changing decorations and gimmicks in order to attract clients. No wonder the days went so fast in the city: there was always something to look forward to.

  At first Five had wondered how, with all these festivals, city people could get any work done. But then she realised that city people didn’t take festivals seriously. Mei Mei, for example, knew nothing about how children must wear special clothes for the Duanwu Festival in order to protect them against the Five Poisonous Creatures. Five had heard from her mother that on the Duanwu Festival, snakes, scorpions, centipedes, geckoes and spiders all came out to poison people. Adult skin was old and thick, so grown-ups were safe, but the Five Poisonous Creatures could do real harm to tender children. Was it surprising, then, that city people were so unhealthy? The fact that they didn’t take their festivals seriously was also demonstrated by the fact that the employees of the Dragon Water-Culture Centre rarely stopped working on a festival day. How could you call it a proper festival when you didn’t take the day off? The exception seemed to be International Labour Day, on 1 May, when, to Five’s confusion, everyone prepared to down tools and disappear.

  There was no such thing as ‘Labour Day’ in the countryside and Five was confused. Engineer Wu explained there was no point in the Centre staying open because most of the people who came to bathe were business people, who would be at home, or wealthy people, a lot of whom used the holiday for a short trip out of the city. Nanjingers were making the most of government’s recent relaxation of laws on travel. Before, you had needed a permit to leave town on business, or to see friends and relatives. For visits longer than a day or so, you had to register at the local police station where you were staying. Now things were different and people could use their extra money to enjoy themselves.

  The idea of spending money to enjoy yourself was completely alien to Five. After all, her father had dismissed even a short visit to a nearby village to see a film as foolish behaviour. But even if she had wanted to use the holiday to spend her money, she couldn’t. Three and Six were too busy with the holiday-rush at the restaurant and teahouse to meet up with her, and without them, she couldn’t find her way around the city. She therefore decided to spend Labour Day sitting in the dormitory looking at diagrams.

  Mei Mei was the only other girl to stay in the dormitory. Five was delighted to see this. Since their night-time meeting in the pump room, she hadn’t had an opportunity to be by herself with Mei Mei and there were so many things she wanted to talk to her about.

  ‘Aren’t you going out?’ she asked excitedly.

  ‘No. Going out means spending money, so there’s no point. How about you?’

  ‘I’ve got nowhere to go,’ said Five, too embarrassed to admit that she would get lost in the city on her own in case Mei Mei thought her stupid.

  ‘Do you want me to take you somewhere?’ Mei Mei asked solicitously.

  ‘No, it’s all right. I don’t want to spend money either. I want to save it for my mother and my family. What are you saving for?’

  ‘University,’ said Mei Mei quietly, even though there was no one in the room to hear.

  ‘University!’ exclaimed Five, feeling as if she had suddenly discovered a big secret. ‘Why do you want to go to college? You’ve got so much learning already.’

  Mei Mei looked hesitant, as if she didn’t want to say any more, so Five offered to give her a foot-rub if she told Five all about it. Since the last time she had tried to rub Mei Mei’s feet she had been practising hard.

  ‘OK,’ said Mei Mei stretching out a foot to Five. ‘I want
to go to university to study medicine. For generations there have been doctors in my family, but the tradition has been broken by me.’

  ‘Because you’re a girl?’ asked Five.

  ‘No, Five, not because I’m a girl. My mother and my grandmother were doctors.’

  Five was amazed. ‘How could that be?’ she asked.

  ‘It was because my great-grandmother didn’t bear any sons. My great-grandfather comforted himself with the idea that he would hand on his medical knowledge to his son-in-law. But when my grandmother married, my grandfather proved talentless as a doctor while my grandmother gained a reputation for making successful remedies. Soon all his patients were coming to her instead. The same thing happened with the next generation. My grandmother passed on her knowledge to both her daughter and her son, but the son, my uncle, was a hopeless doctor. He tried to become a vet, but when laws were passed forbidding the ownership of pets in cities, he was allocated to a hospital. Hardly anyone who came to my uncle for treatment for a serious illness got better; as for smaller illnesses, he prescribed treatments that, like Western medicine, treated only the superficial symptoms and not the root cause.’

  ‘Wait a minute, I don’t understand your story,’ interrupted Five. ‘I know about vets – there’s a vet who often comes from the local town to my village. But what do you mean by “superficial symptoms” and “root cause”?’

  Five’s eyes were full of a desire to learn.

  ‘Some medicines treat only the surface of a problem,’ Mei Mei explained, ‘whereas Chinese medicine cures people from the inside. For example if you have a skin disease, that’s because there’s a problem with your blood. When you’ve cleaned out the poisons in your blood, the skin will get better by itself. Don’t worry about not understanding, Five. It would be difficult for anyone who hasn’t studied medicine …’

  ‘Is your dad a doctor too?’ asked Five, going back to pinching Mei Mei’s toes.

  ‘Yes. But that’s the only thing I know about him. I’m a bastard. My mother brought me up by herself.’