Be With You (Loneliness)

by Alison Cole

  "Dad, are you sure? It's pretty extreme to send her back to the States..." Marcus tries to say.

  "Is it any more extreme than what she has been doing to you and your family? Don't forget, Marcus, I am still in a protector role, no matter that you are an adult. I am trying to help you protect Lizzie and Johanna - and your unborn child. We don't know what she's done while in the States - if it was anything particularly bad, remember, she won't hesitate to pull that here," Andrew says.

  "Well, true, dad, but do you want her feeling even more isolated from us than she already does?"

  "Who's done the isolating? Her or us? C'mon, don't be daft! You know that as well as I do!"

  "That's true. I just don't want her feeling like we're pushing her out of the family..."

  "Marcus, she's pushing herself out. Nobody else is doing the shoving. Rest easy. I'm talking to the vicar tomorrow. End of discussion, full stop."

  As Marcus and I talk about his discussion with his dad, I feel so loved and protected - and I tell him this.

  "Luv, under normal circumstances, I wouldn't worry so much about you being able to protect yourself. I trust you and your intelligence to know when a situation is risky for you or the kids. This isn't a normal situation - Millie should have accepted you with open arms. She didn't Even worse, she developed a wrong-headed and very prejudicial mindset about you, Lizzie and this little one in here. Given what we know about her activities while she was in university overseas, I don't trust her as far as I can fling her not to put you in any danger, so I am stepping forward to protect you and our children. As dad said, 'full stop,'" Marcus says, wrapping his arms around me.

  I let myself go in his arms and say a silent prayer, thanking God for my husband.

  The next morning, we go to practice as usual. I force myself to concentrate - I am really wondering what is going on in that vicar's office between Andrew and the vicar! But I have to wait, so I force my mind away from my questions. Practice is good - we begin working on new compositions. At this point, we have a concert series planned for Scotland and Ireland, but that is some time in the future - they are set for about three months after I give birth to this baby. The going on the songs is slow as we discuss the music and lyrics, but this is fine. We know we will master the pieces and, in concerts or on CDs, deliver them with passion.

  The day starts out cool and sunny, but as the hours pass, heavy, dark clouds close in over the region. The temperature also drops considerably. I am grateful that Lizzie, Marcus and I have warm coats - we step outside to go home and, feeling the drop in temperature, go right back inside, where I help Lizzie to put on a heavier coat. As we drive home, I see raindrops hitting the windscreen. They are big, fat ploppy raindrops, so I know we are in for an evening of rain and, possibly, wind.

  By the time we get home, it is raining in earnest, so Marcus pulls up as close to the back door as he can get. He reaches back and unsnaps Lizzie's car seat so all I have to do is open the back door and raise the shield so she can climb down. Once she is standing on the floor of the car, I swoop her up and move quickly to the back door, unlocking it. As Marcus walks in, I thank him for bringing her nappy bag in.

  "What's for dinner?" he asks.

  "Chicken stew, I think. I was going to bake the chicken, but I'm changing our dinner to a hot stew with potatoes," I say. "Lizzie, go play in the sitting room while mummy makes dinner."

  Marcus starts a fire in the sitting room. Between this and the oven, the first floor is soon comfortably warm. He helps me with the veggies and potatoes so that, as soon as the stew begins to bubble on the back burner, he is free to take his dad's phone call. Again, we talk about the call after he and Andrew finish talking.

  "Marcus, I have something very interesting to report to you. As I promised, I went to the vicar at his home this morning. I did not want Millie to know what I was about. Well, as it turns out the vicar were already aware of Millie's actions. He has been watching what she has been doing. He has no argument with her theological knowledge, but he does not like how she chooses to apply it to today's issues. We sat over tea this morning and discussed what she has been doing away from the church - her little 'disband The Lonely Lovers' group and the petition they circulated. That kind of thing. He was shocked. He knew she was signing church members up for a religious group, but he did not know that she would use this group to try and destroy the band.

  "Anyway, to make a long story short, he is going to talk to her. He wants to give her one more chance, which I don't like. But he knows how he runs his church, so...you let me know if anything untoward happens," Albert says.

  "Yes, yes, we will. Dad...until I know what Millie might try to do - or not do - I think it's time I hired a security firm again. I hate to say this about my sister, but, the way she is thinking, I believe she is dangerous, not only to Johanna, but to Lizzie and the baby. She has taken a very unreasoning hatred toward Johanna and she has turned it into a potential weapon."

  "I have one question, Marc. Millie made some very pointed allegations about individual members of The Lonely Lovers. What is the chance that the band could sue her for defamation?"

  "From what I understand, it is high...but the band want to wait until Millie backs down - or not. Given what she said about Laslow, Tim, Linny and Johanna, she has easily slandered each of them. But the group want to wait and see first."

  "This is what I'm thinking. I want to corner Millie at her house. I want to tell her exactly what she risks losing by continuing this outrageous behavior. Like the band, I want to take a 'wait and see' approach. If she stops, all well and good. If not...I will exact my own consequences upon her," Andrew says.

  "Which include...what, dad?" Marcus asks.

  "Telling her that, if she refuses to stop her actions against my family, requiring that she leave the U.K."

  "Thank you, dad. Thank you!" Marcus says.

  After their conversation, Marcus and I sit and talk. I have one huge question centering on Robert, Millie's husband.

  "Marcus, what, if anything, has Robert tried to do to make Millie stop?"

  "Hah! Exactly nothing! I think Millie holds all the power in that marriage. I see him overlooking her remarks and prejudice in favor of, what? Keeping the peace?"

  "So, he is going to be of no help - at all," I conclude.

  "No. He will not," Marcus agrees.

  "Oy. She married the right man if she wanted to run roughshod over other people, didn't she?" I ask.

  Marcus begins to laugh.

  "Luv, I'm sorry! But the mental image is just too much! You are right. In the meantime, here is what we are going to do...keep this house buttoned down. I will go with you wherever you need or want to go. I hate do this, but, if Millie is going to continue to pop round the studio, I think we should ask your mum and dad to watch Lizzie. Did you see her eyes when Millie smacked the door with that cricket bat? I want to call a security firm - same one we used last time - and get them to provide security here, at the studio - and at your mum's and dad's house. If she doesn't stop, I will keep dad informed. But, I think the first thing we should do, above all, is call your parents," Marcus says.

  "I want to talk to them first so they aren't as shocked," I say.

  "No, Jo. They need to know how serious this could potentially be. Especially if I am going to send a security team round their house, they need to know. Even more so if they agree to mind Lizzie while we're at the studio. Your safety comes over and above soft-pedaling this news," Marcus says firmly.

  I gape at him. "But Marcus! Mum and dad are capable of..."

  "No, Jo! We don't know that! I don't want to trust that they would know how to handle a domineering, potentially violent woman who believes that her way is the only way!"

  Oh! I do believe we are having our first serious disagreement since we have met! We have had discussions and tiffs in the past, but nothing that even comes close to rivaling the seriousness of this situation. Marcus is...upset? Frustrated? Angry? I don't know, but his voice i
s definitely raised.

  "My God, Marcus! There is no need to shout!"

  "I...I'm sorry, luv. I am just very worried about what my sister might be able to do if she finds a way in to hurting you, Lizzie, my parents or yours. I love all of you and it would...well, let's just say that life would be very empty without you and my little girl in it," Marcus admits. He takes a few deep breaths and sits next to me.

  "I think this is our first serious disagreement - ever. Okay," I say with a sigh. "Call mum and dad, but I want speakerphone engaged so we can all talk. We all have to agree with the next step."

  Marcus dials my parents' home number. When my dad answers, he hits the "speakerphone" button.

  "Dad, it's Marcus here. Jo and I have something very...serious and troubling to tell you, and we have decided it needs to be on speakerphone."

  "Does Johanna's mother need to hear this?"

  "Yes. Both of you do. I'll wait for you to get her and set your phone to speaker mode," Marcus says.

  "Okay, we're both here. What's troubling you? This sounds very serious," says my dad.

  "It is. D'you remember the night of the benefit concert, when Millie's group was protesting?"

  "Yes."

  "Well, she hasn't stopped. She came by the studio yesterday, armed with a cricket bat, which she used to try and batter down the front door. We called the police and she was arrested. My dad decided to speak with the vicar, and he did so today. The vicar is pleased with her performance behind the pulpit, but he is concerned about her activities outside the church - to include the petition and protest. He - the vicar - is going to speak to Millie. My dad has decided that it is time for Millie to leave the U.K. and return to the United States, especially if she is not going to stop slandering Johanna, Lizzie, the baby and the band.

  "I hired a security team several months ago, when Cara was threatening us. I am calling them again tomorrow and engaging them to provide services here at home and at the studio. Jo and I discussed this. Millie frightens poor Lizzie to the very core. Any time she comes round, Lizzie expresses fear. Therefore, we are asking if you and Jo's mum would be willing to mind Lizzie during the day, when we are at the studio. I don't want Johanna alone, even though she has the boys. Also, if you agree to mind Lizzie, I will engage a security team to keep you, Jo's mum and Lizzie safe. I don't think Millie has any argument against you, so the security would be only when Lizzie is there. Of course, if I am wrong and Millie goes after you two, I can increase protection for you to 24 hours a day. Well? Are you willing?" Marcus asks.

  I am tense, waiting. I look at Marcus and I see tension in his face, shoulders and neck.

  "My wife is nodding yes. I am in agreement. We have no problem minding Lizzie days - and we will gladly accept a security team's protection. Thank you."

  My breath whooshes out of me. I would understand if they say no. But they are just as committed to Lizzie's safety and well-being as we are.

  "Dad, mum, thank you! There is one thing..."

  Marcus looks at me as my dad expresses confusion.

  "I want to pay you in some way for minding Lizzie," I say.

  "Oh, no, Johanna, girl! She is my granddaughter. No payment," says mum.

  "But mum! She's a healthy, active growing girl!" I think for a few seconds. "Okay, how about this...instead of paying you cash, I can take snacks over every week - how's that?"

  "Now, that, I can go for. You know better than I what foods she won't accept. Okay. Every Monday, bring a week's worth of snacks. We will feed her breakfast, lunch and dinner from what we make for ourselves. And...once this nightmare ends, I would be so grateful if I could keep minding her when you are at the studio, if you don't mind?" mum asks me.

  -Yes, oh, yes! Now, she's so active, it can be a task to get her to let us practice. I will load up some snacks tonight and we'll take them tomorrow - we'll be there at about seven-thirty, if that isn't too early."

  "It's perfect. Now, what kind of meals does she like? I know she likes chicken and her fruits and veggies..."

  "Eggs in any form except poached. English muffins, toast and marmalade and bagels. Cold cereals. Hot cereals, except for porridge. Bacon. Fruit juices and milk. Sandwiches like egg salad, peanut butter and jelly. She is more accepting now of roast beef, although...the meat can't be too strong. Uh, no ham, because she's still getting used to that. Roast and mashed potatoes. Almost any veggie and all fruits. I'll take biscuits for the next few days. You know how many to give her. Overall, mum, she accepts almost any food," I say.

  Marcus resumes speaking.

  "I will call the security firm first thing tomorrow. I want to have security set up everywhere as soon as practical. I'll ask the team assigned to your house to introduce themselves to you. And...thank you so much for consenting to mind Lizzie for us!"

  So, it's settled. Mum and dad will mind Lizzie for us at their house. We will be setting up security for our house, theirs and the studio. All because of Reverend Millie Smythe, who is supposed to preach love and acceptance - but, instead, she preaches intolerance and hate. Or, more accurately, she practices these.

  The next day, we leave our house early. Marcus pauses at every turn, looking for Millie's car. At my mum's, we take Lizzie and her things inside - mum has prepared one of Lizzie's favorite breakfasts! Lizzie is confused by the change in routine, so I tell her that her gran and grandpa will be taking care of her so she can play and run about freely.

  She quickly accepts this - oh, to be a child again! She reaches to be put into her high chair so she can begin eating, so Marcus takes her and straps her into the seat. I give her a spoon and she digs in. While she's eating, Marcus separates my dad from the group and quietly gives him an update on the situation. We both kiss Lizzie goodbye and tell her we will pick her up when it starts to get dark outside.

  "'Kay, mummy. Bye-bye," she says just as she spoons more food into her mouth.

  In the car, I marvel that she has taken the change so well.

  "Why? We didn't tell her of our fears, we simply acted to remove her from them and keep everyone we love safe. She's with your parents, so she's very comfortable. All she knows is she's going to have fun and wear them out," Marcus says with a twinkle in his eyes. "Besides, I am calling the security firm as soon as we get to the studio. I want to have everyone in place before dad confronts Millie, because I know what will happen."

  "She will get angry and blame everyone but herself," I say.

  "She will come after whoever she perceives to be behind that confrontation with dad and the vicar, when in reality, she should go after her attitudes," Marcus reminds me.

  At the studio, the boys are surprised when Lizzie doesn't come bouncing in after me.

  "Boys, we need to talk. I came to some decisions with Johanna last night," Marcus says.

  We sit in our accustomed semi-circle and Marcus starts the meeting.

  "Okay, my dad and I talked last night. He spoke to the vicar of the church where Millie is a reverend. The vicar is not happy with her extracurricular activities and he's going to talk to her and tell her to stop them. If she doesn't, she loses this church posting. If she does, we'll continue to watch her. Dad is going to tell her that her actions are splintering our family..."

  "Hah! Marcus, you know she had at least one of these attitudes even before she left the U.K. to pursue her studies," Laslow says.

  "I know...if she doesn't stop this course she's on, dad will make her leave the U.K. His goal is to reduce the level of danger we're facing. That attack outside this studio with the bat yesterday was only the beginning. She's going to do more - I can guarantee that," Marcus says.

  "We can't move studio again!" Tim says.

  "No, we can't. But...I am hiring that security firm we used while I was being stalked. This time, I am ordering teams for the studio, our house...and for Jo's parents' house," Marcus says.

  "Why Johanna's parents' house?"

  "We are trying to make it harder for Millie to get to any of her targets. If
we split them up, she's less effective. Lizzie is being minded by her grandparents while we are here for the day. I don't think Millie knows where they live, so...but I am still ordering a team for their house. I am calling them now," he says.

  "So, she won't quit, will she?" Tim asks.

  "No," Laslow and Marcus both answer. "Once she gets an idea in her head, it's like pulling a bone out of the mouth of a hound," says Laslow.

  "Dangerous," says Marcus.

  We begin practicing as Marcus places the call for security teams. Two hours later, we hear a knock at the studio door.

  Marcus peers through the blinds and, when he sees a tall, muscular security officer, he opens the door, inviting him in.

  "Let's go back here and talk while they practice - oh, here are the other teams. Good! I can explain the situation to each of you all at one time..." Marcus leads the entire contingent of security officers to the small office in the back and closes the door so they can talk uninterrupted. Thirty minutes later, they come out. Two teams leave right away to head to my parents' and to our house. The third team stays put as the officers move about the studio, noting weaknesses.

  When our day's practice ends, the security officers meet with all of us to explain the weaknesses they have found and how they propose to correct them.

  "Once we have strengthened everything, we will be here every day, beginning before you arrive and leaving after you leave. We will patrol the area several times a day. Mr. Hadley has shown us a picture of Millie Smythe. We will be looking out for her every day that we are here. Mrs. Hadley, after speaking to your husband, we do believe that Millie does pose a danger to you - please do not leave your home alone - in fact, do not travel anywhere alone. Allow Mr. Hadley to take you where you need to go and, if need be, allow us to escort you. As for you men, the same goes for you. Millie's attempt to break into the studio may be an escalation of her efforts to...get to you. Why, only she can say. It isn't our job to know that. Our job is to protect you lot. If you see anything that concerns you, no matter how trifling it may seem, please bring it up. We will check it out and let you know what came of our investigation. We are professionals. Many of us have military or law enforcement backgrounds and we will do everything to ensure that this studio is as safe as it can be."