by S. M. Shade
The lighthearted atmosphere lasts through dinner and drinks. It’s late when we say goodbye. After a quick hug from Gary, Abby embraces Troy. “Come visit us,” she pleads.
“We will, in the spring, I promise.”
Troy moves to hug Joseph next, throwing me a cautious look. “I’m so glad you’re happy, Troy. You deserve it,” Joseph murmurs. “Take care of him,” he adds, grinning at Nic.
Nic nods and pulls Abby into a hug. “Take care of this crazy girl. You have your hands full.”
“Hey.” Abby giggles, stepping back. She’s stopped by Nic’s hands on her shoulders.
“One bullet hole is enough.” Before Abby can react, he plants a soft kiss right on her lips. Joseph’s angry eyes dart to mine, but he lets it go when I shake my head. Nic is as gay as they come. It’s harmless and watching Abby try to control her reaction is funny as hell. Seeing Joseph all jealous is pretty entertaining too, since I’m always the one accused of being possessive.
I hear her gasp, but she doesn’t resist. He squeezes her hand and says, “Take care of yourself, doll.”
Nodding, she backs away from him, dazed. “Okay,” I tease, pulling her to me. “I hope you’re happy. You fried her brain.”
“Shut up.” Abby laughs, blushing to her roots. It was a pleasant end to an unpleasant trip.
On our walk back to the RV, I grab Abby and throw her over my shoulder, smacking her on the ass. “Ow! What was that for?”
“Unless I was hallucinating, you kissed another man right in front of us.”
“She did,” Joseph adds.
“He kissed me!”
“And then your eyes got all dreamy while you thought about him naked,” Joseph growls.
I place my struggling wife back on her feet. “She’ll probably never wipe her lips again.” My voice raises to a falsetto while I fan my cheeks with my hands. “Oh my God, oh my God! Nic kissed me! I’m gonna faint.”
“I should’ve popped him in the mouth, putting his lips on our girl,” Joseph says before stopping to grasp her face, giving her a long deep kiss.
“You know I want these beautiful lips on me, not his,” she assures him.
“Prove it.” For the next few hours, she makes her feelings crystal clear.
* * * *
The drive back is uneventful. It’s only been two weeks since we left, but it feels like a lifetime. Before we can make it in the door, we’re mobbed by family. “Mom!” Lane screeches, clenching his arms around Abby’s neck while she covers his chubby cheeks with kisses. Walker tackles Joseph, who sweeps him off his feet.
“Did you take care of the girls?”
“Yep. Me and Carson.”
“That’s my boy.”
Carson quietly questions Abby about her limp, his eyes darkening at her response. After what happened with his dad, I need to have a serious talk with him. Jayla hugs us all, and Julie insists on checking Abby’s injuries. My stomach sinks when I notice Emma looking around uncertainly. Damn it, Gary. He owes me for this.
“Emma.” Her eyes widen as I lead her away from the group. “Gary didn’t return with us.”
“Is he hurt?” Her voice wavers. No, he’s fucking someone new.
“No, he’s fine. He asked me to give you this.” Shaky hands accept the sealed envelope. “I’m sorry.” Nodding, she retreats, tearing open the letter we both know doesn’t contain a love note. Her face reddens and she turns abruptly, stalking away.
“Emma,” Joseph calls, looking pained.
“Nothing you can do,” I tell him, grabbing his hand.
“I know, but being dumped by a letter sucks.” I guess he would know.
“I’ll talk to her,” Lexi assures Joseph before turning to Abby. “I’ll come by tomorrow so we can catch up. Going to go ravage my man.” Hand in hand, Lexi and Eric head off, practically running for home.
The rest of the evening is a pleasant blur of family and friends. By the time the kids are asleep, we’re all exhausted. “I don’t know whose night it is,” Abby remarks with a yawn.
“We’ll crash together. You two can flip a quarter to see who gets me tomorrow,” I reply.
Joseph snorts and pulls Abby into bed. “Arrogant bastard.”
The sound of the wind howling around the house wakes us early. It feels so good to be home, to get back to normal. I haven’t had another nightmare, and Joseph has been so patient with my less than stellar reaction to his touch lately. If I focus on him, remind myself why I want him, the bad shit fades.
I turn to see Joseph kissing Abby’s neck, tugging off her red panties. Oh, it’s going to be a good morning. Abby giggles when I push Joseph away and bring my lips to hers. “Mine,” I growl.
“I was here first!” He shoves me back.
“I want her more.” Abby moans when my mouth lands on her breast.
“Do not,” he replies, kissing down her belly.
“Move it, belly button freak.”
“Toe licker.”
Abby giggles. “He doesn’t lick my toes.”
“Not your toes, baby.” Abby’s laughter turns to a groan as Joseph’s tongue plunges between her legs. Her hand closes around my cock, and she gestures for me to move closer. When I stretch out beside her, she sucks me into her warm mouth. Oh Fuck. I have a perfect view of Joseph eating her. He grunts at my hands tugging his body toward me until I can reach him with my lips. Moans and grunts fill the room as we all take and give with lips, mouths, and tongues. The sound of Abby’s whimper when she comes shoves me over the edge, which triggers Joseph as well. Ah, fuck yes. We’re home. We’re us again.
Abby makes biscuits and gravy for breakfast and everyone digs in. “So, Emma has her own house?” Abby asks Jayla.
“Well, she was cleaning up that little two bedroom on the other side of Julie for her and Gary. I don’t know whether she still plans to stay there alone.”
“I never thought I’d feel sorry for Emma,” Abby replies, shaking her head.
The back door pops open and Lexi pokes her head through, asking, “Everyone decent?”
“Get in here, girl.” Abby laughs. Eric follows Lexi inside, snatching a biscuit from Carson’s plate.
“Jackhole,” Carson grumbles, replacing it with a fresh one.
“What’s a jackhole?” Walker asks.
“A species of East African wild dog,” Carson replies without missing a beat, and Abby tries to cover her laugh.
“Did Eric behave himself on your trip?” Lexi teases.
“Well, my hand lotion kept disappearing and he’s my main suspect. Other than that…perfect gentleman.” Abby and Lexi laugh together until a knock at the door interrupts them.
“I’ll get it. It’s probably Jon. We’re supposed to go fishing,” Carson says, heading toward the door.
Abby’s face drains of color. He’s been here? He came back here after leaving her to be raped or killed? After encouraging it? This ends now. I’m never going to see that look on her face again. “Don’t.” I grab Carson’s arm. “We need to talk before you see him, and now isn’t the time.”
“What? We’re just…”
“No!”
Carson’s face hardens into a carbon copy of Abby’s stubborn expression. When he starts toward the door anyway, Joseph grabs him. “He tried to get your mom killed. He’s the reason she got shot. We’ll explain everything later, but for now, trust us. Look at your mother’s face. Please, stay here with Jayla and the kids.”
One glance at Abby, and Carson rushes to her side. “Are you okay? I…what did he do, Mom?”
Abby forces a grin that’s more of a grimace. “I’m okay. I’ll explain later. Please, watch Lane. Keep the kids inside,” she whispers, heading for the door. She’s out of her damn mind too!
“Abigail! You aren’t…”
Her face is furious. “I’m not running from him anymore!”
Joseph hands me a pistol and nods. “She needs to do this.” Eric and Lexi follow us out the back door and around to the front.
“You’re back,” Jon says, and I want to smash that fucking smirk off his face.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Abby demands as he steps into the yard.
“Now, that’s not very nice. I came to see my son. I couldn’t find that damn cottage again.” His grin widens when Abby stalks toward him. He never sees it coming and the look of agonized shock on his face when she kicks him in the nuts is funny as fuck. “You…bitch, whore,” he gasps, falling to his knees. “Tell them you’re a whore.”
“Shut the fuck up! I hate you! Sadistic, noodle dick motherfucker!” Abby loses it. Years of pain, shame, hate, and fear rocket to the surface, staining her cheeks red. She picks up Walker’s aluminum ball bat and slams it into Jon’s shoulder. I hear it pop out of place even over his shriek. He falls to his side, and she delivers another well aimed kick to his crotch before landing another two strikes to his ribs, profanities pouring from her lips.
As much as I hate to, I have to stop her before she kills him. She’ll never be able to live with it. I will. After a kick to the face breaks his nose, and likely a few teeth, I pull her away.
“Let go! He’ll never stop!” Tears pour down her face as she wrenches away from me, darting into the woods.
“Summer home,” I call to Joseph when I see what path she takes, and he nods, following after her.
“Eric, can you?” He nods as I gesture to the bloody man moaning at our feet.
“Where do you want him?”
“Toolshed.” Nodding, he drags a screeching Jon to his feet. “If he tries to run, shoot him. Wherever you want.” Eric nods, taking the gun, and I make my way toward the tiny trailer where Abby and I spent so much time early in our relationship.
It’s time for answers.
Abby leans against the counter, arms crossed, eyes glued to the floor while Joseph sits on the edge of the couch. She flinches as the door falls shut behind me with a loud thwack. “Where is he?” she demands.
“Eric has him. He won’t be bothering you again, darlin’. You kicked his ass.” I can’t help the pride I feel, and Joseph grins, hearing it in my voice.
“Nothing will stop him. He’s determined to announce my shit if he has to stand in the yard with a bullhorn.” He isn’t going to be standing or speaking anytime soon, but I’m not telling her that. She needs to tell us what the hell he’s been holding over her.
“Abigail.” Joseph speaks her name softly, reaching for her hand.
“Don’t. Don’t touch me. You won’t want to touch me after you hear this. Just listen and let me get it all out. I can’t do this more than once.”
“Whenever you’re ready, ladybug.”
Shaking her head, she grabs a bottle of bourbon from the counter and takes a drink. “I was a whore.”
Fuck. After all the secrecy, I’m not sure I want to hear this.
She swallows hard and stares at the floor. When we don’t respond, she turns and throws the glass tumbler against the wall. “Didn’t you hear me?” she screams. “I was a fucking whore!”
“I heard you.” I try to keep my voice calm though my heart is beating out of my chest. “You fucked guys for money. That’s what you’re telling us.” I can’t believe it. There’s more to this story. There has to be. I know what sex means to Abby. She’s not the type to sell it.
“Yes.” Her chest rises and falls on a deep breath. “Sort of. I didn’t know about the money. I was so stupid.”
Joseph approaches her, his voice soft and reassuring. He’s doing a better job of covering his shock than I am. “Did someone make you do it? Were you on the street?”
“No, it wasn’t like that.” She flops onto the far end of the couch, her anger dissipating. “He didn’t make me, but I did it for him. To learn. Because I was lousy in bed.”
“Jon?” I growl, and she nods.
“He wanted you to be a prostitute so you could learn to fuck? I assume he got the money?” Joseph asks.
“I didn’t know about the money until later. He couldn’t stay hard when we had sex, and I couldn’t have an orgasm. He said it was because I was inexperienced, that I needed to learn. He acted like he was doing me a favor, sacrificing for me. He got to pick the guys, and at first he’d stand outside the door, but later, he started staying to watch.”
“How old were you, Abigail?” I ask, trying to mask the fury in my voice. I don’t want her to think it’s directed toward her.
“Seventeen.”
“And you didn’t know he was making money from it?” Joseph asks.
“No, I was fucking stupid.”
“No, baby. You were young.”
“He turned her out,” I tell Joseph, my voice icy.
Joseph nods and asks, “How long did this go on?”
“A few months. Four…four different guys,” she confesses, shame filling her face. “He said they agreed I was frigid, it was my fault. So it wasn’t his fault when he fucked around with other women. He had needs I couldn’t meet.”
“What ended it?”
“There was one guy who was different. The quiet, shy type. He was gentle with me. He didn’t hurt me like the others and…I came,” she whispers, tears running down her cheeks. “I wasn’t supposed to like it. He was paying to fuck me and I didn’t even know him, but I liked it. Disgusting,” she murmurs.
Fuck. Me. Of all the things to have in common. Joseph looks at me pointedly. It didn’t take him long to connect the dots on our issues. She flinches when I kneel in front of her. “Sweetheart, listen to me. I know how you feel. How it feels to hate something, to be ashamed of it, but have your body react anyway. When I was…abused, I hated every second of it, but I always came. He used that as an excuse, proof I liked what he was doing. I hated myself for so long. It’s not your fault. You can’t control it.”
Her soft hands reach to cup my face. “This is different, Air. You were a child. You didn’t have a choice. I did. I was so desperate to make him happy, to make him love me, I did what he wanted. I swore after him, no one would ever control me again or tell me what to do.”
That explains a lot. “You were a damn kid at seventeen too. Naïve and desperate, and he took advantage in the worst way.”
Joseph scoots close to her on the couch. “It stopped after the guy got you off?”
Abby shakes her head. “There was one more.” The tone of her voice tells me I don’t want to hear the next part. “Jon was so pissed that I came with another man when I couldn’t with him. The last guy was this prick he worked with. He knew I hated him. It was his revenge. When the guy showed up, I refused, and they both laughed. Jon told him I liked it rough, wanted to be forced, then he left the room. I tried to fight him, but he was so big. He wouldn’t listen. Wouldn’t stop.” Her hands shake and she clasps them together.
“He raped you?” Joseph’s voice is sharp as a razor and laced with pain.
Abby nods. “But I still stayed with Jon. That’s how pathetic I was. I didn’t know about the money until I ran into one of the guys I slept with later, and he asked me if my rate was still five hundred. I wasn’t just a whore. I was a stupid whore that still didn’t want to be without him. It was him or a life alone and I thought I couldn’t do that. A couple years later, I got pregnant with Carson and Jon threw me out. I didn’t realize at the time that was the best thing that could’ve happened. He said the baby wasn’t his. Called me a whore. I just wanted to die.”
“You thought about killing yourself,” Joseph says softly.
A small strained laugh shakes her chest. “We lived down the road from a high bridge that crossed a set of railroad tracks. I took off, and I don’t know how long I sat on that bridge trying to get the guts to jump before he found me.”
“What stopped you from going through with it?” I ask.
She looks from me to Joseph, and back again. “He wanted me to.”
“He wanted you to jump?”
“Dared me to do it. No way was I giving him the satisfaction.”
I al
most smile at the obstinate look on her face. “Thank fuck, my stubborn girl.”
She continues as if she didn’t hear me. “I got a DNA test when Carson was born, but it didn’t matter. I knew he was Jon’s.”
“What did you do next?” Joseph asks.
“A friend let me stay with her until I got on my feet. I worked part time as an auditor at UPS and took classes to get my degree. I didn’t really date. I had Carson. I had someone to love and I decided that was enough. It had to be. Nobody would want an ugly woman who can’t even please them in bed.” She spits out the words like poison, keeping her eyes averted. I understand why she fought so hard to keep this from us. She’s crippled by shame, convinced she’s at fault for what that low life fucker put her through. “I moved here and my life revolved around my son. Until you kissed me.”
Joseph bounds to his feet, anger glowing in his eyes. I can relate. Hearing all this coming from Abby’s sweet mouth sends a rage through me like nothing I’ve ever felt before. I’m going to tear John apart. But right now we’re walking a precarious line with Abby and I’m terrified I’ll say or do the wrong thing. The despair and loss on her face make it clear she’s waiting to hear the worst. Staring at the floor, dry-eyed, she waits for us to blame her. “I need a minute,” Joseph grumbles, darting out the door.
“Joseph!”
“Don’t,” Abby cautions in a soft voice. “Let him go. He’s disgusted. He should be.”
“No, Abigail. He’s fucking pissed.”
Her nod is dejected as she gets to her feet, heading for the door. “You should check on him. I’m going to go home.”
“Not at you, darlin’. He isn’t pissed at you.” I grab her shoulders and turn her to face me, but she won’t meet my eyes. An impassive expression disguises her struggle to keep her emotions in check. I hate it when she does this, but I know it’s her defense mechanism. When she’s at the edge of her endurance and can’t handle anymore, she withdraws. It’s devastating to watch, to see her too hurt to even cry. She barely responds when I pull her into a hug. Her confession poured out of her when she couldn’t stand it anymore, but now the regret and panic is setting in.