by Doporto, CM
She looked over at him. “What about you?”
“I just finished my second year. I took a year off and then decided to transfer to UT.” He twiddled his thumbs for a moment and then took another drink.
“I should have been a junior by now.” His voice was heavy.
“Oh… well at least you’re still in school.” Natalie wondered what happened. She could tell he wanted to talk more about it but held back. Her nervousness slowly dwindled away and she began to remember things about him from high school.
“I heard you got a scholarship to TCU to play football. I’m guessing that didn’t go well.” She also wanted to ask him about his high school girlfriend, Jennifer, but refrained.
Ryan looked up at her. His eyes drooped down and his bottom lip stuck out over his top lip.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have —” She wanted to kick herself for asking him that question.
“It’s okay.” He let out a slight smile.
Natalie whispered low under her breath, “I didn’t mean to...”
Ryan leaned forward. “I’m sorry, I can’t hear you. The music’s too loud.”
The straw fell from her hand. He was only inches away from her face. Her heart pounded and she broke out in a sweat. Why did he make her feel this way?
“Oh, nothing,” she muttered.
“What? I still can’t hear you.” He moved closer to her, brushing up against her. His scent engulfed her, hitting her like a tidal wave that she couldn’t stand up against. The smell of sandalwood and ginger filled her airways. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, taking in every ounce of Ryan’s virile smell. A tingle danced up her spine and her head whirled, causing her to lose focus. Something took over her. It was the same sensation she had earlier that day. Her body swayed back and forth causing her head to feel heavy and her body to feel light. She grabbed Ryan’s leg for support.
“Whoa.” She closed her eyes, trying to gain her sense of balance.
“Are you okay?” Ryan asked.
After half a minute or so her equilibrium stabilized and the dizziness went away. When she opened her eyes she saw that Ryan had his arm around her.
“Natalie, are you alright?” She heard the concern deep within his voice.
She nodded. Why did being in his arms make her feel so safe and secure? She noticed she still had her hand on his leg. She needed to let go but couldn’t. Not because she thought she’d fall over but due to the uncontrollable attraction she felt for him.
Lise turned to her. “Nat, are you okay?”
She let go of his thigh, even though she didn’t want to. “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s been a stressful week. You know with finals and…”
“Are you sure you’re okay? This is the second time you’ve done that today, at least in front of me.” Ryan narrowed his eyes at her.
She had no idea why this kept happening to her. He couldn’t be having this type of effect on her. What was wrong with her? She wasn’t that weak. No guy could do this to her. It had to be something else.
“I started taking this new supplement a few weeks ago and I think it’s giving me some weird side effects or something.” Natalie searched her mind, trying to figure out the source of her dizziness.
Ryan didn’t seem convinced. “Maybe you should call your doctor, and maybe you shouldn’t drink.”
“Yeah, maybe you’re right.” Natalie glanced at her nearly empty glass.
“Just take it easy.” He patted her bare arm and then allowed his fingers to linger on her skin. It sent chills across her body. She didn’t know how to respond to his touch and before she could say or do anything he moved his arm and rested it behind her on top of the seat.
“Are you drunk already?” Lise narrowed her eyes at her. She sounded irritated rather concerned about her well-being.
Natalie gasped. “No Lise. I’m sober. I got dizzy again, like I did earlier today. That’s all.”
Lise lurched back, placing her hand against her chest. “Sorry, my mistake. Do you want to leave or go outside?”
By the sound of Lise’s voice, Natalie knew she didn’t want to do either. “No, I’ll be okay.” Natalie snapped back.
A waitress appeared. “Can I get you guys anything to drink?”
Sal nodded at the waitress. “Yes, a couple of waters, two Cokes and —”
“I’ll have another mojito. And yes, I want the real stuff.” Lise handed the waitress her empty glass.
“Okay. I’ll be back.” The waitress scribbled down their order and walked off.
Lise turned to Sal. “Seriously? That’s what you guys are drinking? Soda?” Her eyes widened.
Sal let out a slight smirk. “Yeah, anything wrong with that?”
Lise sat back. “No.” It took her a few seconds before she turned to Sal and asked, “Is it okay that I ordered a mixed drink?”
Sal shrugged his shoulders. “Suit yourself.”
Natalie glanced over at Ryan’s drink. The entire time she thought he was drinking alcohol with his cola. What college guy doesn’t drink? Boy, did she misjudge him. No alcohol. Impressive.
She saw him glance down at her legs and then back up at her. “So, do you workout?”
Before Natalie could answer Lise jumped into the conversation. “Does she? That’s an understatement. That’s all she does is go to the gym.”
Ryan chuckled. “Well, there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s good to exercise. I can tell by the muscles in your legs that you can probably leg press me.” His eyes traveled up and down her body.
Natalie hesitated. “I don’t know about that but I’ve been working out really hard lately. I guess it’s paying off.”
“Maybe we could workout together. You could train me.”
Natalie snickered. “Are you sure? Me, train a football player?”
“Yeah, why not? I’m thinking you may be able to show me a few things.” Ryan smiled and then winked at her. It caused another surge of adrenaline to hit her blood stream. Why did everything he say or do drive her crazy?
“I’ll warn you now. Be prepared. She’ll kill you, like she did me.” Lise smirked.
“I think I can handle it.” Ryan kept his eyes focused on Natalie.
Natalie ignored Lise’s comment. “Sure, anytime.” She had to look away before her face got any hotter.
The waitress came back with their drinks. “Two waters, two cokes and a mojito.”
Sal handed her a few bills folded up before anyone could offer to pay. “Keep the change.”
“Thanks,” the waitress said and then walked off.
“Thanks, Sal.” Lise took her drink and began slurping it down. Natalie took her ice water and downed it. The coldness numbed her mouth and the heat lifted from her cheeks.
“To answer your question from earlier, I did have an athletic scholarship but I lost it when I got injured.” Ryan rubbed the condensation on his glass with his thumb.
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Are you okay?”
Ryan nodded. “Oh yeah, I’m fine now. I had to take a year off from school to have surgery and get my head back together. I decided that I would transfer and start fresh. It’s been the best decision I’ve made so far.”
“That’s good. So, you don’t play anymore?”
“Not too much. It’s not worth the risk. The doc said that I really messed up my ACL and if I hurt myself again I’d be on crutches forever or walking with a cane. That was enough for me to decide to hang up my cleats.”
Natalie felt bad for him. It must have been disappointing to have his dream destroyed. She remembered how happy he looked after winning a big game. “I’m sorry to hear that. I know it must suck.”
“Yeah, it did. I had to learn to move on and trust that there is something bigger in life planned for me.”
“I admire your passion for life. It kind of reminds me of something my grandmother always tells me.”
“What’s that?” Ryan gulped down half his drink.
“To never give up on
your dreams or goals. If a door closes, another one always opens.”
“Exactly. But I have to admit it wasn’t easy and it took time and a leap of faith.”
“I can only imagine.” She glanced down at her glass, shaking the ice around.
“So, you still want to be friends with me even though you know I’m not a big football star any longer?”
Natalie winced. Did she seem that shallow? Then again, he really didn’t know her that well. “That doesn’t matter to me. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m sorry that happened to you but I ummm… like talking with you regardless.”
Ryan smiled and leaned in closer to her. “Thanks. I hope you’re being honest.”
For a split second Natalie wondered why he would say something like that to her. His eyes told her why. Fear plagued him, like it did her. She didn’t have to ask what happened to Jennifer. She knew she left him because of the injury.
“I’m not like other girls, Ryan. In fact, I really don’t even date. My last relationship was horrible.” Natalie sighed heavily. She noticed her hands weren’t shaking any longer. Finally, she was beginning to feel somewhat like herself around him.
“I’m sorry to hear that. So, you know what it feels like too.”
“Yes, I do.” Natalie looked back up at Ryan. She felt herself being drawn closer to him. She watched the movement of his lips. They looked so inviting, full and plump. He talked but she didn’t hear anything he said. At that moment, she heard an Italian accented voice speak.
“Is that you, Natalie? What are you doing here dressed like that…and wearing all that makeup?”
Natalie turned to see her worse nightmare, Tony. He stood in front of them with two girls hanging on each of his arms, dressed in his typical metrosexual attire. Looking at his dark brown hair, she knew he spent thirty minutes perfecting it into a perfect mold. A sick feeling formed in the pit of her stomach. She fought the urge to jump up out of her seat and attack him. She was better than that.
“It’s a public place. I can go wherever I choose,” Natalie replied confidently.
“You’re with him?” Tony pointed his index finger at Ryan and let out a smirk.
Natalie turned away to see Lise’s mouth fall open. She looked at Natalie and then back to Ryan.
Ryan took Natalie’s hand. “Yes, as a matter of fact, she is. Excuse us. We were just going to dance.” His stern voice had just enough sarcasm to send Tony the right message. When Ryan stood up, he towered over Tony, not only in height but in physical size. Tony didn’t back down. He laughed under his breath and shook his head.
Natalie didn’t think twice. She immediately got up to follow Ryan. She turned her head in disgust as she passed by Tony. She heard him smirk but didn’t turn around to acknowledge his high school behavior. When they stepped onto the dance floor Ryan swung her around to face him, pulling her body close to his. He held on to her hand while allowing his other hand to drop to her waist. Was he doing this to make Tony jealous or did he really want to dance with her? She suspected both.
“Thanks for saving me. I really appreciate it.” Natalie’s heart raced and she struggled to breathe. Every muscle in her body tensed, not allowing her to move. How come every time he touched her, he had this effect on her? What was it about him?
“Oh, don’t worry about it. I’m guessing that’s your ex.”
Natalie nodded. “He’s a total jerk.”
“You don’t have to tell me that twice.” His eyes fixed on hers and it stirred something deep within her. “Natalie. Natalie.”
“Uh huh,” she muttered, gazing into his eyes. He had her into a total trance.
“Relax. You’re too stiff. Do you know how to salsa dance?” Ryan took a step back.
“Oh, yeah. I’m sorry. I forgot the steps.” She watched how his feet moved back and forth. His hips swayed from side to side and she had to concentrate to keep her focus.
“Just follow my lead.” He pressed his body firmly against hers, directing her movements. It didn’t take long for her to catch the rhythm of the beat. Lights flashed bright colors of red, blue and green all around them, bringing the dance floor to life. Every movement of Ryan’s body against hers overwhelmed her.
“You’re doing great,” he said spinning her around. He held on to her hands and laced his fingers through hers. He lifted their arms, raising them above their heads and then pulled her closer to him. When he leaned over his breath warmed her cheek and she fought the temptation to kiss him. A deep need formed inside of her, striking every part of her body. Even those she didn’t know existed.
She needed to control herself but couldn’t seem to pull away. She had to stop while she was ahead. Something kept drawing her toward him; an uncontrollable and irrepressible force. Forgetting all about the consequences of a broken heart, she ignored her own rules. The sweet sensation made it too good to walk away.
Ryan lowered their hands and guided her body to rock back and forth against his in a perfect medley. Her hair swirled around his face, capturing and locking his body to hers.
“Where’s all that air comin’ from?” Ryan whispered into her ear.
“I don’t know.” Natalie hadn’t noticed how windy it had become until he mentioned it. She didn’t care. She didn’t want this body rocking experience to stop.
“Damn, Natalie you are so…” His breath was ragged and warm against her ear.
It sent a shiver across her body and a strong gust of wind surrounded them. The more she tried to pull away, the stronger the air became. The wind seemed to interweave a blanket around them, binding them closer together. She looked up, trying to find the source of the air.
“Your body feels incredible.” His lips brushed against her earlobe, igniting every nerve ending in her body.
She couldn’t control herself any longer. She allowed her hands to roam across his chest, taking in every part of his muscular contours. “So does yours,” she breathed heavily.
Ryan took her hands in his and put them around his neck. Their eyes locked once again and she felt his heart pumping in tune with hers. Her lip quivered as she drew closer to his mouth. She could taste the salty beads of sweat that outlined his upper lip. She opened her mouth and felt a gust of wind move through her body. The weird sensation trickled down her veins to all her extremities leaving her feeling light and airy.
She ignored the light-as-a feather sensation and followed Ryan’s movements. Their lips locked and her body shivered with excitement. His lips were moist and hot. She kissed him deeply and passionately. In a matter of seconds, her body went limp and desire filled every part of her. She knew where she wanted this to go. Her mind told her to stop. Oh, but everything else told her not to. What am I doing? It took all of her strength to stop kissing him.
She pushed away. “I’m sorry Ryan. I can’t…I just can’t do this right now.”
“What?” He looked at her with confusion.
She covered her mouth and without saying a word she turned and ran off the dance floor.
Chapter 3: A Leap of Faith
Staring into the mirror, Natalie watched the sweat collect on her temples. She closed her eyes and took several deep breaths. Slowly, she reopened them. Her face burned with heat and chill bumps ran down her arms. She braced herself, holding onto the sides of the clear glass basin. When she reached for the faucet, her left hand vanished into thin air. Immediately, she looked at her right hand. She gasped and stumbled a few steps back, pressing up against the bathroom door. She could see through the flesh of her skin.
“What in the—” she held both hands in front of her face. Fear consumed every part of her and the walls seemed to be closing in, trapping her. Gradually, her arms withered away and her flesh evaporated into the air. Her body began to feel lighter and lighter until it completely disappeared. Even though she could not see her body she felt the space she occupied. Panic rose up through her causing her heart to beat rapidly.
“No…no… no! Somebody help me … please!”
A sense of relief settled in and her heart relaxed. The sunlight shined brightly through the wall of windows in the guest bedroom of her aunt’s condo and she wondered how long she had slept. She rummaged through the Egyptian cotton sheets for her cell phone. Checking her phone, she saw that she had several missed calls and text messages from Lise and another number she didn’t recognize. Before she had a chance to read them her phone rang. Even though she didn’t feel like talking to Lise, she took the call.
“Hello.” Natalie cleared her throat a few times.
“Nat? Thank God you answered. Where are you? I’ve been calling and texting you all night. What happened to you?”
“Lise, calm down. I’m fine.”
“I’m sorry about last night. I don’t know what got into me. I didn’t mean to be so rude.”
“Forget about it.” Natalie shook her head. She had no idea why Lise had acted that way with her in front of Ryan and Sal. It seemed unlike her because she always showed concern for Natalie, eager to help with any problems.
“Where are you?”
“I stayed at Sharon’s last night.” Natalie ran her fingers through her matted hair, wondering how it got so messed up.
“Why did you leave? What happened? Ryan said you got upset and ran off the dance floor. I looked for you for over an hour.” Lise breathed heavily, like she was walking or running.
“I’m sorry, I had to go.” Natalie sighed. She heard Lise still breathing heavily. “What are you doing? Why are you breathing so hard?”
“I’m on the treadmill. Can you believe it?”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, come to find out Sal likes to exercise too. Enough about me, tell me what happened? Did Tony upset you that bad or did Ryan do something?”