Starshine

by Melody Winter

  My treacherous body shifted against his, and I brought my hand up to rest on his shoulders. My movement must have encouraged him as he moved one of his hands to the back of my neck and held me in place. Not only was his tongue sweeping across my lips in a most erotic way, but his fingers were gently caressing my skin, dancing a line of fire across my flesh.

  I struggled to stop from getting lost in the feelings that he had unleashed in me. I had to keep my feet on the ground. Alex was acting. He was an actor for goodness sake. It’s what he did.

  However much I wanted to believe that this was real, I knew it wasn’t.

  I groaned against his mouth in frustration at my thoughts. Unfortunately, Alex took my noise to be one of excitement rather than one of exasperation. His lips parted, persuading mine to do the same.

  Oh shit, Alex Denton was officially kissing me.

  I slipped my hands from his shoulders and rested them on his chest before gently pushing against him. I couldn’t continue this. It was too much.

  He took the hint and released my mouth. But he wasn’t finished with his show of affection, and he planted a soft kiss on my forehead. I cautiously raised my gaze to his face, once again expecting his eyes to be fixed on Amy or Rowan, but they were still locked on me.

  “We should do that more often,” he whispered as his hands skimmed down my arms. I was desperately trying to work him out. I was sure he’d been acting, a show for Amy and Rowan, but I wanted to believe that he was serious, that the kiss had been real.

  Rowan appeared next to us. “Time for work, Ella. Let Alex get himself sorted for his first scene.”

  I nodded before walking over to my usual chair. I didn’t miss the wink Alex gave me, but neither did Rowan. He tutted before following me across the studio. Alex remained in his corner, rubbing the back of his neck.

  I plonked myself in my chair and glanced around the room. Amy was currently cursing loudly at the costume fitter. Apparently, the waistband of the dress she was wearing was too tight. I rolled my eyes at her performance. Alex may have mellowed a little today, but there was no sign of it from Amy.

  I couldn’t believe that she’d threatened to get me fired. I had to admit that my little outburst toward her as we left Alex’s dressing room probably hadn’t done me any favours. But I didn’t care. I hated her for what she’d put Alex through, and for what she had turned him into.

  Rowan fidgeted in his nearby chair, looking at his watch before staring across the room.

  I lifted my finger to my lips, still feeling the burn of Alex’s kiss. I had just kissed Alex Denton, or more accurately, he had just kissed me. I though again about whether he had meant the kiss to be as sensuous and as real as it felt, or whether he was just acting. My head was screaming to get real, that he was obviously acting, but my heart wouldn’t stop bouncing around at the possibility that maybe he had meant to kiss me that way. Maybe he had feelings for me.

  “You need to be careful if you’re getting involved with him,” Rowan said. “He’s no good for anyone.”

  I sighed, hating the way everyone judged him.

  “Maybe,” I responded. “But perhaps I know how to be careful. Maybe I’m what he needs.”

  “Just be careful, Ella. Don’t let him mess you around. And don’t let him drag you down to his level.” His hands waved around the room as he referred to Alex’s behaviour around Amy. “And watch your back with Amy. She’s a vicious cow when she takes a dislike to someone, and you’ve put yourself right in her firing line.”

  I opened my mouth to respond, but stopped myself. What was the point in replying? I rubbed my forehead as tension threatened to build into a headache. I couldn’t think straight when I was in here. This studio really was like living in a parallel universe, and I’d only emerge into the real world when I stepped outside at the end of the day. Perhaps then I could think straight. I’d make things clear with Alex on the drive home. This girlfriend-boyfriend thing wouldn’t work. He was an actor, and could throw himself into the role—it was his job for goodness sake. But it wasn’t quite as easy for me to act and not feel something real.

  “Shit,” I muttered under my breath. All he’d done was kiss me and I was already analysing everything. But my mind was made up. Tonight, I would straighten things out. My pretend relationship with Alex had to end before it had even started. He needed someone to help him through the hurt that Amy had caused. He deserved a friend who wouldn’t judge him, or pounce on him, when he had a moment of weakness.

  I had to be strong. I had to put a halt to it as soon as possible.

  I’d tell him tonight.

  Even though the filming of Starshine was amazing to watch, the morning dragged. I found myself fidgeting, my mind wandering, even thinking about what I was going to eat for my tea tonight. For the first time ever, I questioned whether a career in film production was something I wanted to pursue when my student days were over.

  By lunch time I was feeling sleepy. The lights in the studio gave off an incredible heat, and unfortunately there was no escaping the room due to the hectic schedule. Throughout the morning, I had become used to Alex switching from his hot-headed, but loving screen character, to the normal hurt and angry man I’d witnessed yesterday. There were many times that I was sure he tried to be calmer, but I could tell that Amy was purposely provoking him.

  As filming stopped, Rowan announced the schedule for the afternoon. “Quick lunch everyone, back on set in an hour. Alex, you need to get in make-up. When filming restarts, we’ll be working on the scenes after the fight. Erin needs to work quickly to get you ready if we want to be out of here on time tonight.” He briefly looked in my direction before continuing. “And no distractions, please.”

  Alex immediately headed toward me, completely ignoring Rowan’s request.

  “Alex!” Rowan shouted.

  “I’ll only be a minute. Do you honestly expect me to keep away from Ella for the whole day?” Alex slipped his arm around my waist, pulling me against him.

  “Alex,” I hissed quietly. “We need to talk about this.”

  His arm tightened around me, and he dipped his head forward, trying to catch my lips with his.

  “Alex,” I warned, still quiet.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked, just as quietly as I had spoken to him.

  “I . . . I just can’t do this. I can’t keep kissing you. Can we talk about it tonight?”

  “You seemed to enjoy it earlier.” A grin spread across his face, but I could see the worry in his expression.

  “I know. And that’s the problem. Shit!” I hadn’t wanted him to know how much his kissing had affected me.

  “Well, well, well, seems my kissing expertise has caused quite a reaction.”

  I raised my eyes heavenwards. “We need to talk. Later.” I informed him.

  “Okay,” he said lightly, still smiling. “But I really could do with a feel of those beautiful wet lips against mine again. You know, to keep me going this afternoon when I’m all beaten up and looking like shit.” He laughed nervously at the end of his sentence. As much as I wanted to grab him and kiss him, I wouldn’t let myself do it. I had to ensure than he knew I was serious.

  “No. Stop trying to force me into something I’m not comfortable with.”

  He stared at me for a few seconds, his smile gradually fading.

  “Your loss,” he snapped. Although his voice was still quiet, I caught the hurt in his tone. I hated it. Maybe I had been wrong about him acting. He certainly seemed to be genuinely pissed off that I’d called a halt to any further kissing.

  I reached for his arm. “We’ll sort this out later, I promise.”

  He didn’t respond, his eyes were focused on the door, as if he wanted to get away from me.

  “That is, if you still want to drive me home like you said you did.” I didn’t want to force him into anything, but I was worried that he would switch back into the Alex of yesterday if he felt the need to protect his feelings from me.

  “N
o, I’ll still drive you home tonight,” he muttered. “But you’re not getting out of my car until you tell me what the fuck is going on here. You’re giving me all sorts of signals that are confusing the shit out of me.”

  I gasped. I was confusing him. How?

  “If I’m so repulsive that you can’t even bare to let me kiss you on the lips, then please let me just kiss your cheek. Until we sort this out tonight, you still need to act as though you’re my girlfriend. Just pretend, Ella. Surely it’s not that difficult to pretend to fancy me?”

  I nodded my agreement for the kiss, and almost instantly his lips lightly kissed my cheek.

  With nothing else said between us, he walked away. He was a dejected sight as he strode across the studio. His shoulders were slumped and his eyes downcast, and he didn’t snarl at anyone as he left the room.

  I had a sudden urge to cry. What had I done?

  Throughout the afternoon, I kept feeling Alex’s eyes on me. I tried to catch his gaze whenever I looked up, but he was having none of it. He didn’t want any eye contact, even though he seemed to be constantly watching me.

  Unfortunately, he also had trouble concentrating. Many scenes had to be re-shot. Amy was going ballistic, knowing that filming would be going on well into the evening due to his inability to focus. Apparently, Simon had plans for their evening and Alex was ruining them. Alex and I had plans as well. At this rate, he’d be giving me a lift home, and then heading straight home himself.

  Rowan shouted, 'Cut', yet again, and called Alex over for a chat. As he was approaching, Rowan turned to me.

  “Sort out whatever is bothering him, Ella. I need him to concentrate. I am assuming his lack of direction this afternoon is due to the little spat you had earlier.”

  “But—”

  “No, Ella. You got involved in all this. I warned you not to. All I know is that whatever happened between you two earlier is causing me and Amy a major bloody headache. Talk to him. Sort it out. Go back to his dressing room and fuck him stupid if you must. I don’t care how you do it. Just do it!”

  “What?” I gasped, completely taken aback by his crudeness. It seemed so out of character for him.

  He turned away from me as Alex reached us. “Speak to Ella! I’ll be back in ten minutes. Be ready to retake that scene.”

  Alex stood in front of me, his hands in his pockets, his eyes fixed on the floor. He shuffled his feet on the floor before lifting his gaze.

  “What’s going on?” I asked sympathetically, taking in his battered, make-up covered face.

  He shrugged. “I can’t concentrate.”

  “That’s not like you. You can normally just switch into character without any problems. You did it yesterday, time and time again, even after Amy had been nasty to you.”

  He smirked briefly before taking a step closer. “That’s because I don’t give a fuck about what Amy thinks or says. Unfortunately, that’s not the case with you.”

  I frowned. “I don’t understand.”

  “I don’t want to give you a lift home tonight just to hear you tell me that you don’t want anything to do with me anymore. I think I’d rather not know.”

  I widened my eyes. “Why on earth would you think that?”

  “After what you said earlier. You indicated that you didn’t want to do this anymore. That you didn’t want to help me.”

  “I want to help,” I responded quickly. “I just don’t think I can pretend to be your girlfriend.” I placed my hand on his arm. “Honestly, I like you, but I can’t do any of this pretending stuff. I’m not an actress. It becomes too real for me.” I decided to be honest with him. “I . . . well, I don’t want to get hurt.”

  “You think I’ll hurt you?”

  “Yes. I think there’s a strong chance you could. The only way I can do any of this is by being your friend. The girlfriend situation just confuses the issue.”

  He nodded, his serious expression suddenly lifting. “Wow, my kissing ability must have really got to you.”

  I nodded, and returned his light-heartedness. “It was too much,” I said, trying to hide my grin.

  “It was the tongue, wasn’t it?” He allowed himself a slight smile. “I knew I shouldn’t have done that. If I promise no more tongue will you still let me kiss you?”

  “Alex!” I shrieked. He was the most insistent and infuriating person I had ever met.

  He stepped closer, and rested his hand on my cheek. “Just for the record. I enjoyed kissing you, Ella.”

  Heat immediately flooded my face. “Can we talk about this later? Not now. That is if we have any time left when we eventually get out of here.” I didn’t want to discuss this at any length here. It was a private conversation, and there were too many people around.

  Alex thankfully seemed to appreciate what I was saying. “Okay. We’ll talk tonight, when I take you home.”

  “Yes.”

  “And you promise that you’re not going to tell me to piss off, that you never want to see me again?”

  “I have never said that.”

  He leaned his face even nearer to mine. “Oh, but you have. Yesterday, you told me that you’d pay money to never have to see me again.”

  I gasped, remembering that I had said exactly that. “Well, that was before I knew you.”

  “But you still don’t know me.”

  “Well, that’s what we need to work on this evening. Or whatever will be left of it when we get out of here. You need to start concentrating.”

  He lightly kissed my forehead before backing away.

  “Whatever you say, Ella.” He saluted and then blew me a kiss.

  I shook my head in disbelief. Why did I get the feeling that tonight was going to be a very strange evening?

  Thankfully, Alex managed to concentrate for the rest of the afternoon. Amy’s snide comments disappeared, and everyone relaxed.

  The way Alex acted in front of the cameras reminded me who the star of the show was. If Alex didn’t perform to the best of his abilities, then neither did Amy. She was his supporting actress, nothing more, and I wondered if she only had the part in the second and third films because she had worked so well with Alex in the first one. But I did wonder how things would be between them for the final, fourth film—Solarflare. When Alex and Amy had argued yesterday, I’d heard him tell her that he was surprised she had stuck around for this long. So why was she still here?

  “Cut!” Rowan yelled at the end of the last scene for the day.

  He was beaming. It seemed I wasn’t the only one who was glad to have the all-clear to leave.

  “Time to go home.” He glanced at his watch and raised his eyebrows. “It’s only eleven-o-clock. See you all tomorrow folks.”

  Alex raised his arms above his head, stretching and yawning before catching my eye. I hoped he hadn’t seen me staring at the naked skin that he had revealed just above his low-slung trousers. Seriously, I wasn’t helping my case for remaining just friends when I was constantly ogling his body.

  He pushed himself from his chair and wandered toward me. When he reached me, he pulled me in for a hug. “I need to get all this muck off my face and get changed,” he said. “Just give me five minutes and then we’ll go. Come and grab me—I’ll be in my dressing room.” He kissed my forehead, just like earlier, and then left the studio.

  Alex had only been out of the room for a few seconds when the hairs on the back of my neck stiffened. I instinctively knew that there was another set of eyes on me, and I didn’t need to guess who was staring daggers. I lifted my head and caught Amy staring at me. I held her gaze, willing her to look away first. She didn’t frighten me. I had Alex on my side. I congratulated myself when she tore her eyes away from me, and then cursed under my breath when she strode toward me.

  She smirked. “He’s not around to protect you now, Bitch.”

  I raised my brow. Did she really want to enter a war of words with who wore the Bitch Crown? She’d won it several years ago.

  “Nothing to s
ay?” she taunted, tilting her head to the side, questioning my silence. I had plenty to say, but didn’t think she’d appreciate any of it. I settled on a question of my own.

  “Don’t you need to get going? Didn’t you moan all afternoon about you and Simon having a hot date tonight?”

  Her eyes narrowed. “He’ll chew you up and spit you out, just as he always does.”

  “Really?” I smirked.

  “You think you’re so clever. But you will never be good enough for him. It’s all in the chase for Alex. He loves a challenge, someone who'll stand up to him. Some-one just like you. But once he’s had you, fucked you good and proper, he’ll drop you so fast you won’t know where you are.”

  I grinned at her assessment of our relationship, and then chose to push things a little further. “I’m still here, aren’t I? According to your statement, I should already be dropped.” I raised both of my eyebrows at her, loving the shocked expression that covered her face. “Seems you don’t know him at all,” I added. “And I don’t think you ever did.”

  I pushed past her and headed toward Alex’s dressing room. I almost wished I was Alex’s girlfriend. I enjoyed seeing the look in Amy’s eyes when she thought he had moved on and found someone else to love. I snorted at my thoughts. Love? I didn’t even know whether Alex was capable of love these days.

  I pushed at Alex’s dressing room door, opening it wide as I strode into the room.

  “You’ll never believe what I’ve just said to Amy,” I rushed out.

  “Ella!” Alex exclaimed. “Fuck. Have you forgotten how to knock as well?”

  I froze at what greeted me. I didn’t know whether it was from shock or embarrassment. I fiddled with the edge of my cardigan sleeves, knowing I should look away from his half naked form—but I just couldn’t bring myself to do so.

  Alex stood facing me in his tight black trunks. I had previously admired his ass, but now I was admiring far much more. He grinned as he grabbed his jeans from a chair, and hopped on the spot as he stepped into them. Straightening up, he pulled the belt and slipped the buckle closed.