by Jen Wylie
"I'm not either," she admitted, brushing away tears.
"And you have someone else now."
Her brows rose at that. "Baelan? He's not you. He won't ever be you. You are my best friend. You are my brother."
A grin turned up one side of his mouth. "Really?"
She swatted his shoulder. "Forever beside you I shall stand."
"Together or apart, always I will be with you."
With a firm nod she smiled, too.
Leaning forward, he kissed her forehead and then drew away, slipping his hand into hers.
"Kei, if there's ever anything I can do, I will. You won't ever drown. I'll always be there to pull you free."
His eyes glowed brighter for a moment. He smiled and let out a long breath. "Thank you."
They walked silently for a while. She stepped to avoid a branch as they headed back to camp. "Were you jealous of Baelan?"
"That idiot Elf? Of course not."
She wasn't sure if she believed him or not.
∞ ∞ ∞
Are you awake?
She stared up at the stars and debated answering Roan. Finally, with a quiet sigh, she did. Yes.
I worried. I didn't hear from you tonight. When she didn't answer right away he continued, You're up late.
Can't sleep. She paused, forcing the words out. Saw Damon today.
It didn't go well.
No. It never does, she said quietly.
What did he do, Arowyn?
Since she never really kept anything from Roan, she told him of their meeting, and it wasn't as hard as she thought it would be. Except for the memory.
What did he make you remember? Tell me, Roan demanded softly.
She couldn't make the words come for a while. The slavers, she finally said. That time they…found me in the forest.
He knew what she meant, of course. She'd told him everything once. It'd been easier to tell, than to live it again. And again. And–
Ah, sweetheart, he murmured. No wonder you can't sleep.
I'll be fine.
Yes, you will. I know you will.
She closed her eyes against the sting of tears.
But you aren't right now, the pirate continued. I'll stay with you. As long as you need me. We don't even have to speak, just know that I'm here.
Her heart clenched at his words. She wanted to tell him no. She didn't need him. Thank you, came out instead.
For a long time, she stared up at the stars, trying not to think. Not to remember. It wasn't like she was alone, with all the Fey scattered about their camp. Kei and Baelan slept near her, but neither very close. Kei hadn't offered to sleep beside her, and that broke her heart a little. Did he not remember how he used to? Or did he not want to?
Roan remained silent and she wondered if he'd fallen asleep, wherever in the world he was. Are you still there?
I am.
His words shouldn't have made her feel better, but they did. Thank you.
He chuckled. Stop thanking me and go to sleep.
I'm trying.
I would be there if I could.
It was a nice sentiment and she smiled slightly. You have your own life to live, Roan. You can't drop everything to take care of me.
Yes, though I find lately…his voice trailed off for a moment. I would rather be there…with you.
To keep me out of trouble?
Something like that. Another brief silence. Now go to sleep.
I can't close my eyes.
He was quiet for a while before he spoke again. Then I will distract you.
He started to sing.
She gasped, her eyes widening. She knew that song. She knew that voice. It was you, she blurted out, interrupting him. He'd been the mysterious singer while she was locked in riath dreams?
I thought you knew.
Emotion stole her words for a moment. You sound so different. Don't stop, she continued quickly.
As you wish, dear Arowyn.
He began to sing again.
Quietly.
His beautiful voice filled her mind until it was the only thing there.
They reached Ridgeside by late morning, uncomfortable and wet from another bout of rain.
A Were met them at the edge of the settlement and Aro smiled when she recognized Cassia. When she'd been injured by the Vor and stayed at the settlement, Cassia had helped care for her. Deep brown eyes regarded her from a pretty face framed in short brown hair as she approached. The Were dropped her eyes and tipped her head.
"It is a pleasure to see you again, Aro-En."
"You as well, Cassia." When the woman smiled, Aro released a breath. They'd been friends once, but the whole alpha thing changed things so much.
"Come, let's get the Fey settled." Cassia motioned for them to follow. "We've the baths readied, and the supplies you've asked for. Things will be a bit cramped, but we can put them in the larger cabins. Do you mind staying in the room you had before?" Her eyes flicked to Baelan and Kei. "We can put a few more cots in if needed."
"That would be perfect, thank you."
"Would you like to bathe first?"
She shook her head. "I can wait."
"Very well. Rhee-En would like to see you now. If you'll follow me."
I could have used one now. I feel dreadful, Baelan grumbled.
I'm sure the Fey feel worse, she admonished him. You'll live.
She looked over at him in time to see his cheeks flush.
Of course. Apologies.
Kei and Garen went with the Fey. Another Were she didn't know took the horses, promising to care for them, have their things delivered to the cabin they'd use, and arrange for more cots.
Baelan followed her, strangely keeping quiet as Cassia dropped them off at another building before leaving with a smile.
Rhee-En waited inside, and Aro relaxed at the smell of hot food. As they entered he handed them each a blanket and gestured to the table set with food and steaming mugs of tea. "Welcome, again. Please, get comfortable and then we'll talk."
Baelan sighed wistfully at the alpha's beautiful voice, but thankfully didn't make any inappropriate comments this time.
"Have you talked with Terris?" She dried off her hair as best she could and then took a seat.
The alpha nodded, his lips pressed together, arms crossed, as he watched her.
She paused, suddenly sensing his anger. "And?" She spooned a mouthful of stew into her mouth.
"I have just finished speaking with the king."
Well, at least she didn't have to.
"We have much to discuss. Eat and we will start. You will stay the night." He raised his hand at her panicked look. "You need the rest," he said more softly, his sweet voice curling around her. "And there are many things we need to plan for you to be able to follow the orders of the Dragos." He spat the last words out, as though even saying such a thing repulsed him.
"I wish I could–"
"I know, Aro," he interrupted. "You have no choice in this. We are all quite aware of that fact." He frowned. "The king felt your pain. He is…unhappy."
She snorted. So was she.
Baelan tipped his head to the side. "Is that a pack thing?"
"Yes. alpha's, to some extent, feel the Were within their pack. The king does with all the Were, but more so with his alphas."
Baelan looked at her and she nodded. "I can get a general sense of how they are doing, and where they are. But I do need to look," she added.
"Yes," Rhee-En agreed. "Otherwise we would be bombarded with emotion. Something strong, however, such as fear or pain, is felt immediately."
"Fascinating," the Elf murmured.
Rhee-En cleared his throat. "The King has requested I accept volunteers of young Were to work with you." At her raised eyebrows, he spread his hands and explained. "You have Fey who wish to help, but the problem is communication as they can't mind-speak. Pairing them with Were, you will all be able to cover greater ground and move more quickly."
"We can
give it a try," she agreed, unsure how well the young Were and Fey would work together.
They spent the rest of the morning and part of the afternoon going over ideas, discussing supplies they'd need, when the Fey not working with the search would begin camping and heading east, what supplies they would need, and so on. She spoke briefly to Bo and was happy to hear he had a load of supplies ready for them and worked out the details of getting them as well.
She liked to think neither man noticed her occasional bouncing leg or twitching fingers. For once not from riath, but from a growing sense of urgency to get moving again. To avoid Damon again. Avoid the memories. Avoid the pain…
Cassia popped her head in the door. "The baths are free. There is time for you two to wash up before dinner."
It was good timing, as they'd just been going over little details when she interrupted.
"Thank you," Aro said with a smile. She didn't begrudge the Fey getting cleaned up first, but she desperately needed a bath and clean clothes. Holding back a yawn, she added sleep to her list. If she could.
Baelan closed his notebook with a relieved sigh and she held in a laugh.
Rhee-En stood. "I will see you at dinner then."
"Thank you, for everything," she said sincerely as she headed for the door.
The alpha gave her a firm nod and then the door closed behind them.
Was it just me or did he seem…annoyed? Angry?
Baelan glanced her way as they followed Cassia to the bath house. No, I noticed as well.
She mulled that over. It could have nothing to do with us.
It could have everything to do with us.
She rolled her eyes but had to agree. Maybe.
The question is whether he is angry with us, or for us?
What?
Is he angry because of what Damon did? That you were hurt. Or angry the Were are being further dragged into this.
It was a good question, and one she didn't have an answer to.
Her bath was wonderful, even though the water wasn't all that warm. She scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed… When she realized what she was doing, her eyes flared red as her fury whipped out. Dipping under the water, she screamed.
Dinner brought back memories. The long tables set up with food, followed by music and dancing. The Fey seemed hesitant at first, but eventually ate and joined in.
The alpha did speak to them at dinner. However, she again noticed the conversation wasn't as friendly as it used to be. One shocking thing she learned was that Cassia was the leader of the settlement. She supposed she should have realized, it did make sense when she considered it.
Rain ended the evening sooner than expected, and she didn't mind at all. She didn't want to dance.
She paused as she stepped into their cabin for the night. For a moment a different view filling her vision. A single bed surrounded by chairs. The bed she almost died in.
A nudge from Kei made her blink and move inside. The room was cramped, the original bed moved over to make room for a bed beside it against the wall, another squished between the other wall and the feet of those beds. The chairs were gone. The few small tables pushed against the other wall.
Cassia stepped in behind them and lit a lamp. "I'm sorry it's so cramped. Do feel free to move things around." The woman frowned a moment, realizing there wasn't much moving that could be done.
"This is fine. Thank you, Cassia."
They said goodnights and Aro sat on the edge of the nearest bed with a groan and started taking off her boots.
"They do not seem at all surprised you will room with us," Baelan commented.
"It's…normal," Kei said quietly with a shrug.
She rubbed her temples. It wasn't so much she had a headache, her head just felt…full. Too full.
"Where do you want to sleep, Aro?"
Noticing she sat on her old bed, she sucked in a long breath. "Not this one." Standing up, she crawled over the bed and moved to the one against the wall next to it. Barely half an arm's length separated them. It amused her how they tried for some sense of propriety.
Lying down, she closed her eyes, listening to the boys move around and the rain fall on the roof. "Where's Garen?"
"It was crowded enough in here. He's with the Fey," Kei answered.
Yawning she rolled to her side, finding Kei sitting across from her, watching her with a worried look on his face. "You didn't sleep last night."
"I did a little. Eventually."
He nodded once and looked away, the worry fading to hardness. "We aren't children anymore, Arowyn."
Her brows drew down as she stared at him in confusion, wondering what exactly he meant.
"We must fight ourselves sometimes, to be stronger. To put aside the past and what we've been through."
She sat up straighter. "Are you telling me to just forget about it? Everything? Everything that has happened?" Her voice rose with each word as she clenched her hands in anger. Disbelief.
"Yes," he answered softly, still not meeting her gaze. "We need to grow up. Otherwise we'll never succeed."
"I don't control the nightmares, Kei!" She threw out an arm, indicating the room. "Do you recognize this? Do you?"
His jaw clenched. He wouldn't meet her gaze. "I do."
She wanted to scream. He'd crawled into her bed sobbing when he remembered what happened to her here. How could he be saying such things to her?
He straightened. "I am here, aren't I?"
"Are you serious!"
"I do not know everything you both have been through," Baelan interrupted from the bed at the foot of theirs. "But even what I do know, has been more than enough for one person to handle. A dozen people. That you have survived, that you find moments of happiness and to smile. That you are not insane." He glanced over at her. "Is a testament to your strength. Both of you."
Kei glowered at the Elf. "It's not enough. We don't have time to–"
"You have each other," Baelan interrupted sharply. "Something you, I believe, have forgotten. Perhaps it is something you should remember again. Two is stronger than one, little Fey."
Kei's eyes flared gold. "I know that, Elf. But I'm not the one who can't sleep at night like a frightened little five-year-old."
Her head snapped back in shock. "How dare you…"
Baelan straightened, shadows falling over his face. "Arowyn has given up everything for you. For you," he said sharply. "She learned to use her rather frightening power. For you. She survived torture and riath addiction, so she could come back to you. All so she could heal the Fey, which are not her people. They are yours."
Kei grit his teeth, his mouth a firm angry line.
Baelan huffed a breath, shaking his head, and continued more softly, "And what have you done, little Fey. You are afraid of your own mind. She learned to walk in the minds of others to bring you back. You have not. Had I not been there yesterday, she would still be trapped in that horrific memory. Stop putting the blame where it doesn't belong." With that he closed his gray eyes, crossed his arms, and leaned back against the wall.
Kei stared at him, golden eyes flashing in anger, but didn't say a word.
Letting out a confused and angry breath, Aro settled back in bed. She couldn't think of what to say that wouldn't make things worse or start the argument again. She didn't want to say something in anger she couldn't take back.
She certainly hadn't expected Baelan to stand up for her. But then, she hadn't expected Kei's harsh words that started it all either. Tentatively, she reached for their bond to see what he felt and pulled away quickly. Anger. Shame. Fear. Confusion. At least under it all, she still felt his love. She didn't know what she'd do if she ever lost that.
For a long time, she just stared at the ceiling wishing she could just fall asleep and not think at all.
Apparently, it didn't matter how tired she was. Her eyes played a torturous game of close, snap open, close, snap open.
She heard Baelan rustle around, but still started when soft not
es from his pipe met her ears. The gentle melodies calmed her, easing muscles she hadn't realized were tense.
"What song is that? I like it," she mumbled sleepily.
"Children's songs." Kei snorted from beside her but Baelan ignored him and continued, "Songs parents sing to their babes and tuck their little ones into bed with."
Thank you.
You are most welcome, Arowyn. I hope it helps.
So did she. She realized she hadn't spoken to Roan yet, and not wanting him to worry, contacted him before she fell asleep.
How are you today, Aro?
Tired. Better, maybe. She quickly told the general gist of her day, except her fight with Kei. She didn't even want to think about what he'd said.
You got much done. Very good. Do you think you will sleep tonight?
I hope so. I'm exhausted.
Would you like me to stay up with you again? I don't mind.
I think…I think I'll be fine. I'm so tired, and Baelan is playing his pipe. It's very soothing.
He chuckled. I told you he would be helpful.
His words brought a smile to her lips. So you did. Good night, Roan.
Goodnight, sweetheart.
Her thoughts drifted as she listened to Baelan's soft music. They turned to Roan. His words. How he had spoken. Where had the cold, bitter pirate gone? When had he started to speak so softly to her? She hadn't even noticed.
And when had he started to call her sweetheart?
∞ ∞ ∞
She woke from another nightmare with a gasp, chest heaving, and fingers clutching. Blinking in the darkness, panic pushed at her, heart racing, stomach clenching. Her eyes adjusted to the faint light in the room. Someone had left the lantern by the door on low.
Fingers squeezed hers and she blinked again, pulling herself fully from the nightmare.
Kei held her hand, his arm stretched over the short distance between their beds. He lay on his side facing her, his other hand under his cheek. A faint, sad smile curved his lips and he squeezed her hand again, tighter this time.
"Go back to sleep," he whispered. "I'm here."
She brushed hair from her face and then shifted closer to the edge of bed. Closer to him. Moving her other hand to rest over their clasped ones, she squeezed his hand in thanks.