Maybe she was wrong. Maybe, in her concern that Morgan would shift back to the way he’d been initially, she read too much into his expression, into his pensive manner.
Everyone had an off day, an off week, right?
Even as she told herself that, a chill wrapped around her heart.
He loved her. She knew that, was certain of it. And yet…
There was a way to put that to the test, Kelsey thought. Mentally, she squared her shoulders and banked down the sudden wave of fear that threatened to wash over her.
She tried to sound nonchalant as she said, “Did I tell you I got an offer the other day?”
“An offer?” Morgan repeated, not sure where she was going with this. “You mean like someone propositioned you?”
She tried to laugh, but the situation was suddenly way too serious.
“No, not like that,” she told him. “I’m talking about a job offer.”
His expression continued to be unreadable. “I thought you said you were happy where you are.”
“I am,” she assured him quickly. She didn’t want him to think that she was the one who was dissatisfied, who was restless. “I didn’t go looking for this, it just came up.”
Kelsey realized that she wasn’t making any sense and backed up. “A friend of my mother’s brought my name up to this headmaster who has an opening coming up in his school. It would be teaching in a private school.” Why did she feel so shaky? She wasn’t making any of this up, yet she tripped over her tongue. Did he detect the tremor in her voice? “I’d be working with kids who have special needs,”
she added.
“Don’t you do that now?” he asked.
“Up to this point, I’ve only done it on a limited basis. This would be an entire small class of kids with special needs,” she said, watching his face for any sort of reaction. He merely nodded his head. “Sounds noble.”
“I’m not noble,” she contradicted. Tense, she’d almost snapped at him. “I would, however, be helpful. I did help get through to Trent’s son—before he was Trent’s son,”
she qualified.
It was the first sign of interest she saw in his face. “Cody’s not his son?”
She realized that no one had told him—and Cody had the same hair color and complexion as Trent so it was easy to see why Morgan had just made the logical assumption. When they were together, Trent and Cody behaved as if they were father and son.
“No, he’s Laurel’s. Cody was in the car when his father died in a car accident. Cody didn’t talk for a year. Laurel tried to help him come around, but nothing worked. She finally turned to Trent at his practice for help and he asked me to see what I could do to get the boy’s grades up again.”
Morgan thought of the animated boy he’d met. It was hard to think of Cody as withdrawn in any fashion. “So you’re good at this sort of thing,” he surmised. Cody had been her greatest accomplishment to date and she was proud of how he’d overcome his obstacles. But she minimized her effect on him now with a shrug.
“Fairly good,” she allowed.
“So what’s the problem?” Morgan asked, not understanding her dilemma. “Take the job if you think you’ll like it.”
She took a breath before answering. “The job is in New York.”
“Oh.”
Kelsey took solace from the single word, more so than she knew she should. But a drowning woman clutched at anything, praying that it would turn into a life preserver.
“Yes, ‘oh.’” She waited for Morgan to say more. When he didn’t, she prodded him a little by asking, “What do you think I should do?”
He turned it right back on her. “What do you want to do?”
Now he sounded just like a psychologist, she thought, frustrated. Was it just to get her to examine her motives in considering the position—or was this a way for him to step out of her life without incurring any sort of battle scars?
step out of her life without incurring any sort of battle scars?
“I’m not sure,” she answered quietly. “I’m having trouble deciding,” she added. Sitting up in bed, she pulled her knees in against her, as if to gather strength.
“Don’t you have an opinion?”
He didn’t tell her what she wanted to hear. “It’s your life, Kelsey,” he pointed out, his voice devoid of emotion. “Ultimately, you have to do what you think is best for you.”
That sounded so distant, so clinical, Kelsey thought. So cold.
From out of nowhere, tears gathered in the corner of her eyes. For a moment, she looked away, struggling to regain control over herself. It wasn’t working.
Kelsey could feel her very spirit draining out of her. Leaning her head against her knees, she continued averting her eyes from his. “I guess then I should fly out for an interview. Explore my options.”
“Sounds like a plan,” he agreed, his voice still flat.
Yeah, a plan to be rid of me, she thought angrily. Didn’t he care if she left? Or was he hoping she would because things between them had gotten too complicated, too intimate?
She almost shouted the question at him, but somehow managed to keep the words to herself. Letting him see how much his indifference hurt wouldn’t get her anywhere. Even if he felt guilty about it, she didn’t want him sticking around out of pity or guilt. She wanted him to ask her to stay because he loved her. Love was the only reason for anything to happen.
She’d been fooling herself. Morgan didn’t love her. If he did, he’d be trying to convince her to stay, saying something to show her that he cared. Damn it, she would have sworn that there were feelings between them, that he loved her, at least cared about her even though he wasn’t vocal about it. Now she knew better.
Her arms tightened around her knees. How long had he been planning his escape, hoping for something to come along that would be instrumental in a breakup between them?
Kelsey felt sick.
“Listen,” she turned to look at him, “I’m not feeling all that well right now.”
Morgan was quick to take his cue. There was too much emotion in the room, too much for him to deal with. He didn’t know how much longer he could remain stoic like this.
“Yeah,” he nodded, “I should be going. I’ve got some things I’ve been meaning to get to.”
“At nine-thirty at night?” she questioned.
“Yeah, well…” Instead of continuing, searching for something plausible to say, Morgan swung his legs out of the bed and got up. Ordinarily she liked watching him get out of bed. Liked watching him move in strong, measured, steady steps, a sleek panther that was the undeniable ruler of all he saw. But right now, she couldn’t bring herself to look at him. It hurt too much. There was absolutely no comfort in the fact that she’d been right all along. That falling for Morgan would only bring her heartache.
Gathering his clothes together from the chair where he’d haphazardly tossed them as their heated kisses had given way to lovemaking, Morgan held them against him and turned to look at her now.
“When would you be leaving?”
Kelsey searched for a drop of warmth, of concern, of resistance to the idea in his voice.
There was none.
“I don’t have the job yet,” she pointed out stiffly, her voice all but muffled. “The head of the school would have to interview me first.”
“That’s what I mean,” he told her. His voice sounded a little strained. Did it annoy him to have to talk to her? “When would you fly out for the interview?”
She had to think to form an answer. “I’m not sure yet. He gave me a number of alternative dates.”
Morgan nodded, taking in the information. “If you get a chance, let me know when.”
If you get a chance.
You would say this to a neighbor who asked you to bring in their mail. You wouldn’t sound so cavalier with someone you had feelings for. There was a simple explanation. He didn’t have feelings for her. It had all been one-sided with her reading much too much meaning
into everything. You’d think that after what she’d gone through with Dan, she would have learned her lesson. She’d held Morgan at bay for how long? A day? Two? A week? It was all a blur to her now because her feelings had been there from the beginning. All she knew was that they’d quickly become lovers. She’d always worn her heart on her sleeve, Kelsey thought contemptuously. Added to that, she’d thought she’d seen something in him, a wounded human being who needed to make contact with someone who cared about him.
That was what she thought she saw, Kelsey upbraided herself. For all she knew, it had all been an act. An act he put on to get her to break down her barriers so that he could sleep with her. It had been about sex, pure and simple. Just sex and nothing else. Whatever she’d thought was there wasn’t. Wrapping the sheet around herself like an overly long toga, she got out of bed and followed Morgan, now fully dressed, to the door. All she wanted now was to be rid of him before she started to cry.
“Give me a call if you get a chance,” he reminded her, reaching the door. “Let me know when you’re going to New York.”
“Sure,” she murmured, completely numb inside. She shut the door without saying goodbye.
What was wrong with him? the voice in her head cried. He was supposed to ask her not to even think about leaving. He was supposed to beg her to stay, or at least act as if he would miss her. Instead, he was encouraging her to go, to consider uprooting her life and moving three thousand miles away. God, she never thought she could hurt this much.
Kelsey leaned her forehead against the door, her head throbbing as the tears began to flow. She could feel herself dying inside. Damn him, anyway!
With effort, she straightened again and slowly moved away from the door. She needed to get a grip on herself. But first, she needed to go back into her bedroom, throw herself on the bed and cry until she stopped hurting. On the other side of the door, Morgan finally allowed his rigid posture to relax, his shoulders to slump. Now that he was faced with the sound of the second shoe falling, he wanted to take it all back, wanted to grab it before it made contact with the floor.
He didn’t want her to go. Oh God, he didn’t want her to fly out for the interview, much less consider taking the job. Get hold of yourself, Donnelly.
Better now than later, he thought after a beat. He knew this was for the best, both for her and for him, but as he slowly walked to his car, he couldn’t find a way to overcome the sensation that he’d just had his heart cut out of his chest with a jagged knife.
Chapter Fourteen
H e missed her. God help him, but he missed her. Less than five days into the breakup and the loneliness was all but consuming him. Morgan shifted in the car, his muscles cramping up on him as he sat, waiting, watching for close to an hour. Watching for her. He’d known this was going to be the ultimate outcome and had tried to put the skids on, stopping anything from happening before it had a chance to start. Obviously, he’d wound up failing miserably. He was making matters worse by sitting here, parked across the street from the school where she taught, hoping to catch a glimpse of Kelsey as she left.
He’d succeeded only once in the past few days and it had only made things worse for him, not better. Everything was making things worse, and soon, he knew, she’d be gone. Maybe even permanently if those people at the private school made her a decent offer. By all rights, his life should have gone back to normal, or at least back to the way they had been before he’d met her, if that could be called normal. No, he reflected, it hadn’t been normal. Life before Kelsey had been hell. But he had made his peace with that. Leaning forward in his seat, the steering wheel pressing into his chest, Morgan thought he saw her coming out of the school’s main building. Just then, his radio crackled, summoning his attention.
Banking down his impatience, he flicked the button down and listened. Dispatch was calling, alerting him to a possible break-in taking place three miles away. A neighbor had reported a suspicious-looking truck parked across the street from her house.
Sighing, he reached for the radio’s receiver and responded. “Did the caller identify herself?”
“No,” the dispatch officer on the other end of the line told him. “And how did you know it was a ‘she’?”
“Because, ten to one, if the suspicious truck is parked on Deerwood, it belongs to a plumber paying a call on Mrs. Wilson again.” He recited an address that he had been to before.
“The caller said the truck has been parked there all day and that it was parked there all day yesterday, as well. According to her, no work’s being done.”
He’d talked to the owner of the truck the last time this had been called in. Nothing illegal was going on. “Most likely Mr. Wilson is away on a business trip,” Morgan replied.
He heard a deep chuckle on the other end of the line. “And I take it that Mrs. Wilson’s pipes need cleaning?” the dispatch officer asked.
“Something like that. It happened last month. And the month before that. Mr. Wilson flies to Washington, D.C., the last week of every month,” Morgan told him.
“The call’s coming from a Jill Sellers. Sellers lives across the street and has no hobbies other than watching what her neighbors are doing. That and watching procedural crime shows on TV at night.” The woman had proudly informed him that she was far better informed than the average citizen, thanks to the programs she faithfully watched.
“Maybe you still better check it out,” the dispatch officer advised.
“That’s what they pay me for,” Morgan answered. He ended the call, then looked back toward the school entrance. Kelsey was nowhere to be seen. With a suppressed sigh, Morgan started up his vehicle.
He’d better get used to that, he thought, driving away. It would be true soon enough.
For a minute, she thought she saw him. A squad car had been parked across the street when she walked out of school and her heart leaped. She thought it was Morgan. Thought that perhaps he’d finally decided to talk her out of going to New York.
Stupid. She looked up and down the block. The squad car was gone. The man just isn’t that into you. She had yet to fly out for the interview, but the impression she had gotten when she spoke to the headmaster, Philip Gilchrist, over the phone was that the interview was just a formality. The job was hers. Even before he’d extended the formal invitation to her, he’d spoken to the principal of her school and to some of her teachers at was just a formality. The job was hers. Even before he’d extended the formal invitation to her, he’d spoken to the principal of her school and to some of her teachers at college. Gilchrist had told her that they had glowing things to say about her as a teacher and as a person. Sight unseen, she’d impressed him, especially because he knew some of her professors personally and had a great deal of respect for their opinions.
Gilchrist had gone on to say that, although he believed in crossing his Ts and dotting his Is, he was fairly certain he knew the outcome of the face-to-face interview. In all probability, he was going to offer her the job.
All she had to do was say “yes.”
He wasn’t the one she wanted to say yes to, but life didn’t always arrange itself the way people wanted, she thought ruefully. The schoolyard was empty. All the children had been picked up. Kelsey went back inside the building to get her things. It was time to leave. In more ways than one.
Kate sat very still as she listened to the voice on the other end of the line. Sensing that something was off and had been off for the past few weeks, she’d taken advantage of the break in her schedule to call Kelsey. She knew it was lunchtime over at the school where her daughter taught and she was hoping that Kelsey didn’t have yard duty this week.
She didn’t. But before Kate could ask her daughter if there was anything wrong or unusual going on, Kelsey had said, “I’m glad you called, Mom. I’ve been meaning to call you.” And then there’d been a hesitation on the line before Kelsey asked,
“How are you doing?”
Kate knew Kelsey referred to the pregnancy. She also kn
ew that this was just a stall tactic. Something else was on her daughter’s mind.
“I’m fine, honey. I don’t feel like throwing up first thing in the morning anymore, which makes your father very happy. I think he was beginning to take it personally.” She laughed softly. “How are you doing?” she asked.
“Fine. Okay.”
The response was completely automatic and completely unconvincing. Her mother antennae shot up. She knew something was wrong. “Kelsey, I’ve known you all your life. You never could lie. Now tell me what’s wrong.”
“Nothing’s wrong.” The pause ran on too long. And then Kelsey said rather quickly, “I’m just probably going to change schools.”
Kate knew how happy her daughter was teaching at her current elementary school. What had changed that? “Did you get a better offer?” she guessed to keep the dialogue moving.
“In a way.”
Kate was instantly attuned to what wasn’t being said. “And in what way isn’t it a better offer?”
There was another pause, long enough to make Kate uneasy. “Well, I’d have to move.”
Because Kelsey knew she could always rely on her family’s help, Kate surmised that the physical act of moving from one place to another wasn’t the problem. When Kelsey didn’t elaborate, Kate asked, “How far a move?”
Kate was surprised that she had to prod Kelsey. Getting information out of her daughter had never felt like pulling teeth before.
“Pretty far,” Kelsey answered.
“How far is ‘pretty far’?”
She heard Kelsey taking a breath before saying, “I’d be moving to New York.”
“New York?” Kate repeated incredulously. “You mean the city?”
Instantly, Kate felt torn. Mother birds were supposed to prepare their young to be ready to leave the nest and fly off on their own. But she dearly loved the fact that all of her children lived practically within shouting range. And Kelsey had moved out of the house only a few months ago. She was still trying to get used to Kelsey not being there in the morning, using up all the hot water, muttering under her breath about running behind schedule.
[Kate's Boys 05] - A Lawman for Christmas Page 13