by Rosie Praks
I grumbled in defeat but ate the food anyway, chewing the steak slowly. And—
Oh my God. How did he become such a great cook? Why didn’t he cook this food for me when we were dating? I could have fallen in love with him even more.
The food was so divine. I took one bite after another.
Julian chuckled.
I glanced up at him. “What?”
“Nothing.” His eyes shone bright, a ghost of a smile on his lips. “It’s great that you’re eating.”
“If you think your food is delicious, then you’ve thought wrong. I just don’t want to waste food that’s been offered to me.” I shrugged.
“Good enough.” He gazed at me, licking at his lips, then drew his glass to his mouth for a drink, all without dropping his stare from mine.
His movement was so graceful, so elegant that I was spellbound by his fluent action. And those lips. I wanted to bite them until he moaned my name, saying he wanted me, saying he needed me, saying he loved me.
“What?” he asked when I couldn’t take my eyes from his lips.
I coughed, subduing my wandering mind. “Nothing.”
He smiled again, and a warm feeling settled in the pit of my stomach. I felt a deep glow radiating throughout my whole body, making me so comfortable I didn’t want to move from my seat. But I had to.
I pushed my plate away. “I’m full.”
“Want dessert?”
He has dessert? But I didn’t want any dessert he dished on the plate for me. I wanted him on that plate. I’d lick him and suck him, eating up all of him until I was so full I could eat no more. Then I’d be satisfied and could go to sleep dreaming of him again.
“No.”
“You sure? We have popsicles.”
Oh shit! I got out of the chair as fast as possible, wanting to go back to my room. The tension in the air was just too much for my poor heart to handle. Another second with Julian and I swear I’d rip off his clothes and have his cock in my mouth for dessert.
Julian held me back, bracing me against his hard chest. His hot breath fanned my neck. I held my own breath, not daring to move an inch. Are we going to fuck now?
“You need to help me with the dishes.”
My shoulders sagged in disappointment.
“Fine.”
I extracted myself from him and gathered the plates to the sink. Together we washed the dishes. Neither of us spoke a word. Are we only compatible when we have sex?
“How do you find it here?” he asked suddenly.
“Boring.” I exaggerated.
“Food?”
“Bad.”
“Bedroom?”
“Small.”
“Bath?”
“Good.”
Our dire conversation stretched on while we did the dishes together, with him asking me random questions about what I liked about his yacht. I only replied with monosyllabic answers.
I don’t get him. What does he want with me?
“Clothes?” He carried on.
“Loose,” I replied.
“Bed?”
“Big.”
“Me?”
“Hot!”
I clamped my mouth shut, realizing what I'd just said. I pulled my hand out of the soapy water and ran for my room.
But Julian got to me first. “You like me, Kimberly. Admit it.”
“No, I don’t. I may find your body hot, but that’s all I’m willing to admit.”
“Did you feel the need to pleasure yourself when I didn’t come for you?”
“Oh, so that’s what these past days have been about? You just wanted me to crave you so I would come begging for you to fuck me, is that it?”
“Yes. And it worked, didn’t it?”
Of course it worked. I was already wet for him. But there was no away I was admitting to that. “Of course not. I was having so much fun by myself. I was just waiting for you to get bored so you’d take me back home.”
Julian’s facial expression changed so suddenly. He curved his lips into a vicious smile, his eyes lighting up with wicked ideas. “Oh, Kimberly, I would never get bored of you. You’re like a cat in bed, so carnal and vicious. I like my women aggressive.”
Julian said women. Plural. He had other women, apart from me. I wasn't his only one. That hurt like a needle in my heart. I slapped him hard on his cheek. Enough to twist his head to the side.
“There. Now you know how aggressive I am. I don’t have to be in bed to be vicious.”
I ran to my room, tears leaking from my eyes. I was already in love with him. But Julian, he'd hurt me. And this time, I didn’t know if I could handle the pain.
That night, I cried myself to sleep. Julian never came for me.
* * * * *
CHAPTER 9
I woke up to a dry throat and a drenched core.
Oh God, I was dreaming about Julian taking me, and now I was horny.
I tossed and turned just to ease the ache between my thighs, but no matter what I did, I couldn’t quite reach that pleasurable euphoric state with my fingers alone. And I couldn’t get to sleep until something was done.
I got up and walked around the room, thinking a little exercise might help. But it didn’t. A cold shower. Yes, I’ll have a shower.
I went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. Taking off my clothes, I turned the water until it was slightly cold and stepped in.
I was still feeling hot. My breath came out in short fits. I leaned against the stall and took care of myself again.
I cried, shouting out Julian’s name as I climaxed. Spots of bright lights floated before my eyes. Finally sated, I cleaned myself and wrapped a towel around my naked body.
I’d already put on my clothes and was about to head back to my room when a distinct sound reached my ears.
“Help me.”
Huh? It sounded like someone was calling for help. But who is it? We’re on a yacht. In the middle of the sea. It’s only me and—
I scrambled into the living room and flicked on the dim light.
Julian was sleeping on the couch, his face slightly rough and overshadowed with lines. He looked worried in his sleep. But he was asleep.
So who made that sound, then? Oh God. Am I being haunted?
I was about to hurry back into my room when a hoarse, helpless sound cried out again.
“Help me. Help me.”
I turned back and saw Julian moving his lips.
It was Julian. He was calling for help. But his eyes were closed. Julian must be having a nightmare.
I rushed to him and crouched beside him.
“Julian. Wake up.” I rattled him.
But he didn’t wake. By this stage, he was thrashing his head about, begging for someone to help. Tears dripped from the corners of his closed eyes.
“Julian! Julian!” I roused him again, shaking him even harder, but he still didn’t wake. I panicked. What is wrong with him? “Julian, wake up.”
Still, he didn’t hear my voice. He continued to thrash about, kicking whatever or whoever it was attacking him in his sleep.
I didn’t know what to do. So I did the only thing I could think of. I slapped him hard.
Julian went still. I went to hug him, wrapping my arms about him and wiping at his tearstained cheeks.
Julian’s face was layered with a mask of sweat, my shirt sticking to him. His hair was matted to his forehead. His body was warm to the touch, but he was shaking in my arms. He looked miserable. And vulnerable.
I continued to hug him and sooth him, quietly calming him with my voice and the touch of my fingers running through his damp hair.
Julian slowly registered his surroundings, fluttering his eyes open. He pulled back and stared at me. And then his eyes landed on the rose pendant necklace around my neck. He flicked his eyes back to my face. And his gaze stayed like this. For so long. Until—
“Mama. Don’t go,” Julian cried suddenly, grabbing hold of my shoulders and sobbing into my shirt. “Don’t
leave me here. Don’t let them hurt me.”
He was shaking all over, his fingers digging into my flesh, his hands restlessly grabbing hold of my shirt as if searching for a place to rest, for a place of sanctuary and security. Finally, he found them at the small of my back, linking his fingers together, binding me tight in the circle of his arms. He brought his head to rest at the crook of my neck, sobbing softly into my shoulder again, speaking about not wanting someone to hurt him.
“Julian.” My arms went around him too, holding him close against me. “It’s me, Kimberly. I’m not your mother.”
Julian didn’t hear me. He kept mumbling into my shirt, his tears sliding down his cheeks. “I don’t want them to hurt me anymore. I’m scared. Take me with you. Take me to the other side. I don’t want to live like this anymore.”
“Julian.” I began to cry too. My heart felt an indescribable pain, different from his betrayal. I couldn’t understand this feeling, but it hurt me so much, to the point I couldn’t breathe. Tears shed out of my eyes like a leaking tap. I couldn’t stop myself. I hugged him, rocked him to try and make him feel better. But Julian continued crying, making my heart break even more.
“I don’t want to live anymore. I feel so lonely. Please don’t go,” he cried out, again and again, his hands binding around me tighter, like he might lose me if he didn’t hold on strong enough.
“Julian. Don’t do something stupid. You have me. You have me,” I cried, hugging him back just as fiercely.
I was stupid. I was spouting nonsense. This person who spoke had the mind of a ten-year-old. Julian the adult would never speak like this. But this was his past. Clearly, something must have happened to him for him to have this kind of nightmare.
I continued to pacify him, soothing him and consoling him with my words and fingers on his hair. Our tears mixed together. Our voices cried in sync. I rocked him. He rocked me. Until gradually his thrashing stopped. And he stilled.
A warm hand lightly cradled my cheek, caressing my skin, gently wiping the tears at the corners of my eyes. I closed my eyes, sinking my face into that warm palm.
“Kimberly?” That deep baritone voice was back. Julian the adult was back. “Kimberly, why are you crying?”
I hugged him. So tight I didn’t want to let go. I was scared he might go back to that nightmare, afraid he might do something stupid in his sleep, like kill himself with a knife. I’ve heard of cases where people had nightmares and would harm themselves in their unconscious state. I hugged him with all the strength I possessed, giving him my life energy.
“Kimberly, tell me. What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” This time he was the one who wiped at my tearstained cheeks. This time he was the one who removed the wet strands of hair from my skin.
But how could I tell him he had a nightmare? How could I tell him he wanted to go with his mother to the other world?
I should have known something was odd. Back when we were good together, he had a nightmare once, but I didn’t think it would go to this extent.
I didn’t know how his mother had died. I never asked him. Maybe I should have, before we fought, before I found out he manipulated me. Maybe then I’d be able to gain a better understanding of his complex personality, of what drove him to use me as his pawn.
“Kimberly, what’s wrong? You’re worrying me.” His face was sketched with worry lines. The room was dark, but I could make out those worried eyes, illuminated by the bright moon outside.
“Julian,” I sobbed into his shirt, not releasing my hold around his neck. “Make love to me. Make love to me. I miss you.”
“Kimberly,” he whispered my name softly, threading his fingers through my hair gently. And this time, I felt his love. It was like we loved each other again, like in Miami, when he came to me during the night.
I hugged him with all my strength, giving him the comfort and love he deserved. He’d lost his mother at a young age. He had no one to rely on. His father, Beau, didn’t care for him all that much. Fiona must have hated him. And Josh, he'd treated Julian like he was beneath him. Julian had no one.
Was it too much that he wanted to be the heir? Could he not have a small portion of what Josh had gained? Could he not have a little happiness in his life? Was that what drove him to attain the legacy?
God, Julian. If only you would forget about that legacy and you didn’t use me to gain title as heir, I would have taken you back into my arms. I would love you until my last dying breath.
But even knowing he'd used me, I still didn’t let him go. I continued to hold him tight, sobbing into his shirt.
“Kimberly, please tell me. What’s wrong? Is it me again? Have I hurt you again?”
“Julian, please, make love to me. Make love to me.” I could only shake my head. I couldn’t say anything more. All I wanted was for him to feel me. Only me. I wanted him to remove all those nasty memories of whatever it was in his head. Wash it away with my love. Let only the good memories of me be in his dreams. Forever.
Julian slowly removed my arms around his neck. He brought up his palms and cupped my cheeks, caressing my skin softly. He kissed me on my lips, on my temples, on my cheeks, and then gently at the corner of my swollen eyes.
“Please stop crying. I’ll make love to you. Tonight, I’ll make love to you.”
That night, I submitted myself willingly to Julian. There were no fights and no nasty words between us. Only soft, loving words filled the air.
I cradled his cheek, feeling his rough stubble and the remainder of his tears. I gazed into his tormented grey eyes as he thrust into me, his breath hot on my skin.
With each push, I prayed he’d forget about his nightmare, prayed he’d only have me in his heart. And I prayed, before climax hit me, Let me be the one to heal you.
* * * * *
CHAPTER 10
I woke to Julian caressing my cheek and kissing me softly on the lips. I smiled, my body nestled close to him in bed. I kissed him back, giving short pecks along his jaw. His rough stubble tickled my skin, and I laughed.
He was happy. His eyes shone bright, the dark grey from last night gone.
I was also happy. I knew a little something about him. It was a step toward a healthy relationship.
He chuckled at me until I couldn’t stop laughing. Once our laughter died down, he asked, “What made you so sweet today?”
“Nothing,” I mouthed, giving him another kiss on his lips. I could never get enough of him. I loved this man. I loved him so much. But I must take it slow this time.
“Kimberly,” he said suddenly, entwining his fingers with mine. “Do you want to have a relationship with me?”
Oh, yes, Julian, yes. But sadly, the words that came out of my mouth were, “I’ll think about it.”
I got up to go wash myself, not sure why I’d said that. Maybe I was still unsure where I stood in this whole situation.
Julian watched me go.
I ran the bath again. This time I added peachy fragrant soap in the water. I watched as the bath bubbled up, sweet scent engulfing the entire room. When the water was at the right temperature, I slid in.
I sank back in the bathtub, closing my eyes, letting my body relax. Suddenly, the door was opened. I startled and opened my eyes.
Julian was in front of me, his body naked and his hard, throbbing cock right in my face.
I gulped much-needed air.
“What are you doing here?” I rasped, trying my best to stare at his face when all I wanted was to go back to stare at that gorgeous cock in front of me.
“Let me join you.”
I didn’t say anything. And he didn’t need my permission either. He slid in behind me, pulling me back until I nestled against his chest.
“Let me wash you.”
“There’s no need, Julian.”
“But I want to.”
I didn’t say anything this time either. My silence was my approval.
Julian began cupping the soapy water and washed my back, slowly circling his
hand until he reached my front. My aroused breast felt heavy. He didn’t rub or touch my nipples. He continued to draw lazy circles, round and round, until he reached my stomach. Again he cupped more foamy water and swirled his fingers around at his own leisurely pace. The bubbles on my skin foamed up and now I looked like a sea nymph.
Julian chuckled, vibrating through me. His hands continued to roam around my body, gently messaging my skin, sending signals to my brain, telling me to relax.
And I did. My head lolled back against his rock-hard chest and I sighed with ease. But my breath quickened as his fingers closed in near my sex.
“Do you want me to touch you there?” he whispered hoarsely.
I closed my eyes, not saying anything. A second later, I felt his lips touch my cheek, kissing me softly
“You’re so beautiful, Kimberly. So very beautiful.”
And then his fingers were on me, probing my clenched core. He dipped in cautiously, stretching me slowly. I moved, wanting him deeper.
“Does it feel good?” The resonance of his voice drummed into my soul.
I quivered, rolling my head back, resting against the crook of his shoulder.
“Mmm,” I managed to mumble, lost to the sensations.
In all my life, no one had the liberty of exploring my body like Julian did. By now, his mind and fingers must have mapped out every single valley and curve. Whether with his tongue, his fingers, or his cock, they’d all been branded by him.
“Do you want me, Kimberly?” he droned into my ear.
“Mmm.”
That was all he needed to hear. He turned me over. But instead of finishing the deed, he sat me on the edge of the bathtub and spread my thighs wide. He slowly swirled his finger along my inner thigh and then licked me there.
“Julian,” I moaned.
Julian licked me again, a long swipe of his tongue from the top of my belly button to the center of my core, making sure my clit got his full attention too.
I trembled and came quickly. He lapped up every single drop.
“You’re delicious, Kimberly. And so very beautiful. I need you. Like I need air to breathe.”
That was enough for me. That was his declaration that he loved me. I slid down on his lap and hugged him tight.