by Rosie Praks
I stood with shaky legs, observing them. The woman was sitting in front of Julian. She was obscured from my view. All I could make out was her back and her short, dark hair tied into a bun.
Even though I couldn’t see her face, I knew she must be someone important to Julian. He was smiling at her the whole time. And his next action made my heart cry out in pain. Julian was caressing her hand, kissing it softly. The woman must have said something amusing because now he was laughing. His eyes lit up like I’d never seen before. Julian, he was in his element. He was happy.
Pain dug at my heart. I was a fool. I'd believed him. I thought he was genuine this time. But I'd once again fallen into his trap.
I stepped back, tears ready to spill forth from my eyes. I won’t cry. I won’t cry again for that bastard.
I was so focused on them I neglected to watch my step. I fell. Julian heard and jumped up from his hiding spot. He caught my eyes.
I glared at him from this distance and jumped back on my feet, determined to get away. The past was now the past. I wouldn't ever forgive him again.
The rest of the journey back out of the botanical gardens was a whirlwind experience. Flower bushes brushed my legs as I raced past them. My eyesight became distorted. And that was when I realized I was crying.
Silly Kimberly. Why are you crying for that man? God, you’re pathetic, I berated myself.
I wiped the tears from my eyes and heard someone’s footstep shadowing mine.
I glanced back and saw Julian chasing me. At a fast rate.
I only ran faster.
“Stop. Kimberly,” he shouted.
I didn’t stop. I kept running. I needed to get away from him. As far as possible. I couldn’t do this anymore. Let Papa send in a representative. I was going home.
“Kimberly, for fuck's sake. I said stop!” Julian shouted again.
“No, you bastard,” I yelled, blindly running forward.
Julian must have hated me calling him by that name. It only reminded him of his unprivileged life as Beau's bastard son. He caught up to me in no time, flipping me over his shoulder when I tried to bash his face.
“Rory, open the door,” he shouted to his driver, standing near a long black limousine.
I took a swift glance at this driver named Rory. He looked nothing like the other driver. But my brain didn’t register any of this because I was tossed into the backseat of the limousine, mouth sealed shut with Julian’s own.
I fought him hard. But Julian fought harder. Still, I didn’t give up. I bit his shoulder, pinched his arms, and yanked his hair. Julian must have had enough of my childish behavior. He yanked both my hands above me and growled at me like an angry panther. “I swear to God, Kimberly, if you so much as bite me again, I’ll fuck you right here in the car.”
“You wouldn’t dare,” I barked at him, wiggling myself out of his embrace and biting him hard on his shoulder again.
“You asked for it,” Julian growled into my ear. And the rest was history.
He swiftly yanked up my dress, peeled my lacey panties to the side, unzipped his pant, and slid his hot rod into me. All in five seconds. Everything happened so fast I choked, tears leaking from my eyes.
“You crazy bastard,” I screamed as he pushed against the rough friction.
I wasn’t ready for him. My insides burned raw. I bit my lips and fisted his hair. But soon my curses changed to moans as he thrust faster and faster, my rough surface soon expanded to accommodate him. It was so beautiful that after I climaxed, I ended up crying. I leaned into him, sobbing out all my worry.
“You stupid man.” I bashed his chest, punching him with all the strength I had, tears still pouring from my eyes. “I love you. Goddamn, I love you. So stop hurting me. I can’t tolerate this anymore.”
Julian went still. He tilted my chin so I got a good view of his profile. His grey eyes were all misty. And his lips trembled slightly. His hair stood jagged in all directions, like the wind had a good play with its hand. He looked distraught and tired, a complete contrast to the previous image when he was with that woman.
Did I make him look like this?
Julian cupped my face, his fingers delicately wiping at my wet cheeks. “Kimberly, I’m so sorry. Please don’t be like this.”
Is he trying to console me or make me feel worse?
“I shouldn’t be like this? Then what should I be like? You promised me, Julian. You promised.” I broke down completely. I poured out my heart and soul to him. I hugged him fiercely, not letting him go, so suddenly tired of the situation between us. I was so weary of our sick and twisted relationship. “You said you want to have a relationship with me. But you go around kissing other women—”
Julian’s eyes flared open in realization. “Kimberly, oh God, you’ve got it all wrong, baby. You’ve got it all wrong.”
“What part is wrong? I saw you, Julian. And I saw her,” I croaked. “Who is that woman, Julian? Who is she?”
Julian jaw clenched tight, like he was under so much stress.
“Tell me,” I urged, my heart wailing in pain.
“I can’t tell you that,” he said quietly, almost like there was no energy left in him.
“You can’t tell me. Again.”
“Kimberly, baby. Please,” he begged, kissing my forehead and temple. “Please don’t misunderstand the situation. You’re the most important person in my life. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you again.”
“I’m important to you, but you still won't tell me.”
“It’s not the time yet.” His voice soothed me, but I still couldn’t stop this burning pain in my chest. God, it hurts too much.
“It’s never the time with you, Julian,” I cried out, fighting to get out of his embrace, having had enough of this twisted game between us. I wanted out. I wanted to break free from this prison.
But Julian, he was still inside me. I could feel all of him, his cock throbbing in my core, his hands cradling my cheeks, and his lips at the nape of my neck. He was everywhere, surrounding me, imprisoning me within his hold so I couldn’t move an inch.
If I weren’t crying so pathetically into his shoulder, I would have laughed at our whole situation. Here we were both fully clothed, only our intimate parts connected, but we were having a fight. If we didn’t resolve this fight in three minutes, our relationship would never be the same again.
I pushed Julian off me again, trying to disentangle myself from him. But Julian only tightened his grip around my body further, holding me more firmly within his cell.
“Let me go, goddamn you. Let me go.”
“Kimberly, listen to me.” He shook me, urging me to regain my senses. “No one is as important to me as you are. You’ve got to believe in me.”
“Yeah, like I should believe in all your lies. I don’t know what to believe anymore, Julian. I’m tired of this.”
“Tell me if I’m lying, then. Tell me my body lies when I take you.” Julian’s grey eyes turned foggy. And I knew what he meant. He was about to demonstrate to me using his body that he still lusted for me like I still lusted for him.
“Julian, no—”
I wanted to tell him it’s not about my body lusting for his or his body craving mine. It’s about my heart. It’s about our love. But it was already too late. Julian started thrusting into me again. His force was phenomenal, making my whole body buckle backward. I clenched my teeth as more force pounded into me. I gripped his shoulder for support. The feeling of being taken like this was so raw I felt I was another entity altogether.
When he was inside me, I lost all sense of rational thought. When he was inside me, I could no longer think of anything but us together, filling our needs, sating our inner demons, satisfying the lust deeply rooted within us. And I lost what I was about to say, letting him take me as he wished.
Julian never stopped thrusting into me until I came, climax after climax, orgasm after orgasm, rolling into one big tidal wave. Then he took care of my needs, pleasuring me and worshiping my body like
his special goddess, sucking at my core so I came again and again. I writhed underneath him, lost to the pleasure of his hands, tongue, and cock.
* * * * *
CHAPTER 14
I found myself waking up in Julian’s apartment the next morning. There was a note on the bedside stand, saying he’d see me at work. And Rory, his driver, would take me there.
I looked underneath the blanket. I was naked. The memory of last night rushed into my head. After Julian had given me endless pleasure in the car, he took me to his apartment and carried on making love to me until I was exhausted and fell asleep.
And now he had gone ahead of me to work.
Was he trying to avoid answering my questions? How long would he avoid me before he would tell me the truth?
I got out of bed and saw the many clothes he bought for me. Mostly they were green and black. He knew I liked wearing skirts, but all the ones he bought were below the knee. I disliked that sort.
I quickly had a shower, had breakfast he’d cooked, and went to meet Rory down at the front entrance, wearing a black knee-length skirt and a boring black blouse with a black bra and black heels.
God, it feels like I’m going to a funeral.
“Miss Kimberly Henderson.” Rory opened the door for me as soon as I was outside.
I suddenly realized this driver was different from the one from yesterday. Rory was tall and didn't have a potbelly like the other driver. Nor any skull-like tattoo on his wrist. Although, they did look the same age. In their late forties.
Does Julian have two drivers?
“Are you the only driver for Julian?” I asked.
“I am, Miss Henderson.”
“Kimberly will be fine,” I said, puzzled as to the identity of the other driver. I shook my head, not thinking further on this incident. I instructed Rory to take me shopping before dropping me off at Devereux Enterprises.
Rory took me to many department stores. I bought various clothing. In the end, I chose to wear a green mid-thigh skirt paired with a white sleeveless top buttoned up all the way to my neck, with fluff curling around the neckline. My bra was black. I took off my bra and decided to wear just the shirt. How awful would it look, a white top and a black bra underneath? That wasn't my fashion sense.
By the time Rory dropped me off at Devereux Enterprises, my confidence in my fashion sense was back. I marched up to Julian’s office with my six-inch black heels clip-clopping on the floor. I was determined to find out the truth of the identity of that woman. Today.
I ignored Melissa when she said hello to me, instead going straight to Julian’s office. I knocked once on his door, then went in. Julian was talking on the phone. He signaled me to wait. I went to sit on his desk, my short green skirt riding even higher up my thighs.
Julian eyed my exposed legs, swallowed, then turned the other way to continue talking.
I started tapping my fingers on his desk, bored with waiting. Julian was clenching his jaw again, which meant he was frustrated with me.
I didn’t care. I continued tapping his desk at my own leisure. Julian snapped the phone shut and glared at me, a deep storm brewing in his eyes.
“What do you want, Kimberly?” His voice sounded heavy this morning.
“Information. On that woman. We haven’t finished yet. From last night. Remember?”
Julian sat back in his chair, his whole body relaxed as he ran his eyes up and down my body. The way he assessed me made my body throb again. I gently brushed my green skirt into place and smiled slyly at him.
“Okay, then.” He folded his arms and smiled slyly back at me. “Coffee.”
“What?” Maybe I didn’t hear that right. I asked him again.
“Coffee. In exchange for your information.” Julian scored the right card. He tapped the tip of his pen on the table. Glancing upward, his smoky-grey eyes locked with mine. Lust fused through them. Heat immediately fused through mine. “Unless you're only skilled in dressing up to lure men into your bed.”
I was knocked off my stool. I flew at him, slapping him hard on his cheek. My dignity as a woman was at stake. How dare he undermine my fashion sense, let alone my ability to make coffee? Papa loved my coffee. Everyone loved my coffee.
Julian didn’t turn, nor flinch the moment my palm sliced his cheek. He just gazed at me with that impassive expression, my handprint red on his skin. What happened to that caring, sensitive man from last night? Why is he demeaning me all of a sudden?
“Do you think I’m incapable of such a simple task?” I asked through clenched teeth.
His grey eyes were so dark they could almost be black. Was he mad at me? But his words suggested otherwise. “I don’t know. You tell me.”
“I will have you know I make amazing coffee,” I fired back at him, temper rising by the second, desire still coating the air.
And with this, I made a mad dash out of his office and flew into the staff kitchen, determined to make delicious coffee for him.
As soon as I got to the kitchen, I rampaged through the place, searching for a coffee machine. But there was none. Only a water jug and a coffee tin filled with instant coffee.
I wasn’t about to be humiliated. If he didn’t have an espresso machine, then instant coffee it would be. But my task was easier thought than done. The water in the fountain was all drained out.
There were a few large water bottles aligned on the bench. I picked one up. It weighed over five kilograms. I staggered to the fountain and managed to slosh some water on my white top and the carpet.
Stupid. Dumb. Shit. I swore at the water fountain.
I sighed in annoyance but still managed to slot the water bottle in the right place. After five minutes of boiling, mixing, and making the coffee, I marched into Julian’s office confidently and dumped the cup right in front of his face.
“Your coffee.”
Julian took one look at me and slung his hand across his desk, discarding the important documents, stationery, and my coffee onto the floor.
Anger pierced through me.
“Why you—”
Julian abruptly dumped me on his desk, ripping my wet top and burying his face between my breasts.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I rasped, voice dripping with lust. I fisted my fingers through his hair, hissing when his tongue licked the nub of my breast.
“Fucking you!” he growled like a panther in heat.
I was fighting him, unsuccessfully. I was also fighting myself, also unsuccessfully. My heart rate surged, beating well past a hundred beats per minute.
It was all happening too fast. The door was opened. Someone came in.
“Julian—”
“Get out. Now!” Julian barked at our intruder before he was at me again.
And then he fucked me. Vigorously. On his desk.
Once satisfied, he extracted his cock. I couldn’t move at inch, lying there on his desk on full display.
“Why did you take me like that?” I panted, exhausted from our angry mating.
“You go around dressing like that? Do you think I’m a saint? I warned you already, Kimberly. Don’t ever tempt me, anyone, with those clothes.”
My arms gained strength. I elbowed myself up and gazed at him through misted eyes. “I was wearing my white blouse. Before you rudely ripped it into shreds.”
“The white blouse that outlined your naked breasts?”
“Julian.” I heaved a sigh, sifting my fingers through his damp hair, my anger slowly draining out of me. “Won’t you tell me? Please. I can’t go on like this. Hanging by a thread. Waiting for you to clarify what the fuck is going on between us. It’s like I’m trapped and I can’t get out. I want you, but I also hate you. What do I do? I don’t know what to do anymore.”
Julian's demeanor changed instantly. He softened. He wrapped his arms around me, tugging my wild loose hair back into place.
“All you have to do is trust in me.”
“How can I? Yesterday you were sweet. Today you’re like a bul
l, charging at me just because my top was all wet.”
“You’ve no idea what you do to me, Kimberly. You make me hard every time I look at you.” He stroked my bruised lips, rubbing the pads of his fingers against them. Desire pulsed through me.
“Not as hard as me watching you change moods like a chameleon changing color.”
His jaw clenched. I must have hit a nerve. Exhaling softly, he palmed my cheek and looked straight into my eyes. “What do you want to know?”
Was Julian finally opening up to me now? I got straight to the point.
“Tell me about your mother.”
Julian clenched his jaw again, his eyes losing contact with mine. I traced his tight jaw, massaging away the tension, tilting back his face so he could look at me. And only me.
“Are you not comfortable telling me about your past, or is this subject not allowed yet?” Frustration coursed through my chest suddenly. I exhaled. “Just tell me something. Anything about you. You’re like a jigsaw puzzle. No matter how hard I tried to piece together your characteristics and behavior, the end result always comes out wrong.”
Julian sighed softly, as if he were carrying a heavy burden in his heart. He went to clutch my hand, to still my wandering fingers on his jaw, then entwined his fingers with mine. He looked me straight in the face, his eyes so intense it burned a hole in my heart.
“My mother died in a fire.”
I sucked in my breath, my heart shaking upon hearing this intimate piece of information. Suddenly, it all made sense. This was Julian’s nightmare. This was what shaped his behavior. The trauma of having a mother who died in a fire still haunted him today.
I wanted to ask him why. And how. Was their house burned down? But before I could ask him, he spoke again, anger and something else seeping through his eyes. “She died saving me.”
Self-loathing. Julian hated himself.
“Oh God, Julian. Please don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault. You were just a little boy.” I hugged him tight, reassurance that I wouldn't turn away from him. I was here to help him.
Julian carried on speaking, using the strength I gave him through my touch. “I was six. Clearly old enough to save myself. But I was a coward. I was scared of the fire. She led me out. But a beam fell over our path. She was stuck underneath. I didn’t save her. I ran out. I left her there. She died in the fire.”