by Leo Tolstoy
‘We don’t care about peasant feasts,’ said they.
So Iván entertained the peasants and their wives, and drank until he was rather tipsy. Then he went into the street to a ring of dancers; and going up to them he told the women to sing a song in his honour; ‘for’, said he, ‘I will give you something you never saw in your lives before!’
The women laughed and sang his praises, and when they had finished they said, ‘Now let us have your gift.’
‘I will bring it directly,’ said he.
He took a seed-basket and ran into the woods. The women laughed. ‘He is a fool!’ said they, and they began to talk of something else.
But soon Iván came running back, carrying the basket full of something heavy.
‘Shall I give it you?’
‘Yes! give it to us.’
Iván took a handful of gold and threw it to the women. You should have seen them throw themselves upon it to pick it up! And the men around scrambled for it, and snatched it from one another. One old woman was nearly crushed to death. Iván laughed.
‘Oh, you fools!’ says he. ‘Why did you crush the old grandmother? Be quiet, and I will give you some more,’ and he threw them some more. The people all crowded round, and Iván threw them all the gold he had. They asked for more, but Iván said, ‘I have no more just now. Another time I’ll give you some more. Now let us dance, and you can sing me your songs.’
The women began to sing.
‘Your songs are no good,’ says he.
‘Where will you find better ones?’ say they.
‘I’ll soon show you,’ says he.
He went to the barn, took a sheaf, threshed it, stood it up, and bumped it on the ground.
‘Now,’ said he:
‘O sheaf! my slave
This order gave:
Where a straw has been
Let a soldier be seen!’
And the sheaf fell asunder and became so many soldiers. The drums and trumpets began to play. Iván ordered the soldiers to play and sing. He led them out into the street, and the people were amazed. The soldiers played and sang, and then Iván (forbidding anyone to follow him) led them back to the threshing ground, changed them into a sheaf again, and threw it in its place.
He then went home and lay down in the stables to sleep.
VII
SIMON the Soldier heard of all these things next morning, and went to his brother.
‘Tell me’, says he, ‘where you got those soldiers from, and where you have taken them to?’
‘What does it matter to you?’ said Iván.
‘What does it matter? Why, with soldiers one can do anything. One can win a kingdom.’
Iván wondered.
‘Really!’ said he; ‘why didn’t you say so before? I’ll make you as many as you like. It’s well the lass and I have threshed so much straw.’
Iván took his brother to the barn and said:
‘Look here; if I make you some soldiers, you must take them away at once, for if we have to feed them, they will eat up the whole village in a day.’
Simon the Soldier promised to lead the soldiers away; and Iván began to make them. He bumped a sheaf on the threshing floor – a company appeared. He bumped another sheaf, and there was a second company. He made so many that they covered the field.
‘Will that do?’ he asked.
Simon was overjoyed, and said: ‘That will do! Thank you, Iván!’
‘All right,’ said Iván. ‘If you want more, come back, and I’ll make them. There is plenty of straw this season.’
Simon the Soldier at once took command of his army, collected and organized it, and went off to make war.
Hardly had Simon the Soldier gone, when Tarás the Stout came along. He, too, had heard of yesterday’s affair, and he said to his brother:
‘Show me where you get gold money! If I only had some to start with, I could make it bring me in money from all over the world.’
Iván was astonished.
‘Really!’ said he. ‘You should have told me sooner. I will make you as much as you like.’
His brother was delighted.
‘Give me three baskets-full to begin with.’
‘All right,’ said Iván. ‘Come into the forest; or, better still, let us harness the mare, for you won’t be able to carry it all.’
They drove to the forest, and Iván began to rub the oak leaves. He made a great heap of gold.
‘Will that do?’
Tarás was overjoyed.
‘It will do for the present,’ said he. ‘Thank you, Iván!’
‘All right,’ says Iván, ‘if you want more, come back for it. There are plenty of leaves left.’
Tarás the Stout gathered up a whole cartload of money, and went off to trade.
So the two brothers went away: Simon to fight, and Tarás to buy and sell. And Simon the Soldier conquered a kingdom for himself; and Tarás the Stout made much money in trade.
When the two brothers met, each told the other: Simon how he got the soldiers, and Tarás how he got the money. And Simon the Soldier said to his brother, ‘I have conquered a kingdom and live in grand style, but I have not money enough to keep my soldiers.’
And Tarás the Stout said, ‘And I have made much money, but the trouble is, I have no one to guard it.’
Then said Simon the Soldier, ‘Let us go to our brother. I will tell him to make more soldiers, and will give them to you to guard your money, and you can tell him to make money for me to feed my men.’
And they drove away to Iván; and Simon said, ‘Dear brother, I have not enough soldiers; make me another couple of ricks or so.’
Iván shook his head.
‘No!’ says he, ‘I will not make any more soldiers.’
‘But you promised you would.’
‘I know I promised, but I won’t make any more.’
‘But why not, fool?’
‘Because your soldiers killed a man. I was ploughing the other day near the road, and I saw a woman taking a coffin along in a cart, and crying. I asked her who was dead. She said, “Simon’s soldiers have killed my husband in the war.” I thought the soldiers would only play tunes, but they have killed a man. I won’t give you any more.’
And he stuck to it, and would not make any more soldiers.
Tarás the Stout, too, began to beg Iván to make him more gold money. But Iván shook his head.
‘No, I won’t make any more,’ said he.
‘Didn’t you promise?’
‘I did, but I’ll make no more,’ said he.
‘Why not, fool?’
‘Because your gold coins took away the cow from Michael’s daughter.’
‘How?’
‘Simply took it away! Michael’s daughter had a cow. Her children used to drink the milk. But the other day her children came to me to ask for milk. I said, “Where’s your cow?” They answered, “The steward of Tarás the Stout came and gave mother three bits of gold, and she gave him the cow, so we have nothing to drink.” I thought you were only going to play with the gold pieces, but you have taken the children’s cow away. I will not give you any more.’
And Iván stuck to it and would not give him any more. So the brothers went away. And as they went they discussed how they could meet their difficulties. And Simon said:
‘Look here, I tell you what to do. You give me money to feed my soldiers, and I will give you half my kingdom with soldiers enough to guard your money.’ Tarás agreed. So the brothers divided what they possessed, and both became kings, and both were rich.
VIII
IVÁN lived at home, supporting his father and mother and working in the fields with his dumb sister. Now it happened that Iván’s yard-dog fell sick, grew mangy, and was near dying. Iván, pitying it, got some bread from his sister, put it in his cap, carried it out, and threw it to the dog. But the cap was torn, and together with the bread one of the little roots fell to the ground. The old dog ate it up with the bread, and as soon as she
had swallowed it she jumped up and began to play, bark, and wag her tail – in short became quite well again.
The father and mother saw it and were amazed.
‘How did you cure the dog?’ asked they.
Iván answered: ‘I had two little roots to cure any pain, and she swallowed one.’
Now about that time it happened that the King’s daughter fell ill, and the King proclaimed in every town and village, that he would reward anyone who could heal her, and if any unmarried man could heal the King’s daughter he should have her for his wife. This was proclaimed in Iván’s village as well as everywhere else.
His father and mother called Iván, and said to him: ‘Have you heard what the King has proclaimed? You said you had a root that would cure any sickness. Go and heal the King’s daughter, and you will be made happy for life.’
‘All right,’ said he.
And Iván prepared to go, and they dressed him in his best. But as he went out of the door he met a beggar woman with a crippled hand.
‘I have heard’, said she, ‘that you can heal people. I pray you cure my arm, for I cannot even put on my boots myself.’
‘All right,’ said Iván, and giving the little root to the beggar woman he told her to swallow it. She swallowed it, and was cured. She was at once able to move her arm freely.
His father and mother came out to accompany Iván to the King, but when they heard that he had given away the root, and that he had nothing left to cure the King’s daughter with, they began to scold him.
‘You pity a beggar woman, but are not sorry for the King’s daughter!’ said they. But Iván felt sorry for the King’s daughter also. So he harnessed the horse, put straw in the cart to sit on, and sat down to drive away.
‘Where are you going, fool?’
‘To cure the King’s daughter.’
‘But you’ve nothing left to cure her with!’
‘Never mind,’ said he, and drove off.
He drove to the King’s palace, and as soon as he stepped on the threshold the King’s daughter got well.
The King was delighted, and had Iván brought to him, and had him dressed in fine robes.
‘Be my son-in-law,’ said he.
‘All right,’ said Iván.
And Iván married the Princess. Her father died soon after, and Iván became King. So all three brothers were now kings.
IX
THE three brothers lived and reigned. The eldest brother, Simon the Soldier, prospered. With his straw soldiers he levied real soldiers. He ordered throughout his whole kingdom a levy of one soldier from every ten houses, and each soldier had to be tall, and clean in body and in face. He gathered many such soldiers and trained them; and when anyone opposed him, he sent these soldiers at once, and got his own way, so that everyone began to fear him, and his life was a comfortable one. Whatever he cast his eyes on and wished for, was his. He sent soldiers, and they brought him all he desired.
Tarás the Stout also lived comfortably. He did not waste the money he got from Iván, but increased it largely. He introduced law and order into his kingdom. He kept his money in coffers, and taxed the people. He instituted a poll-tax, tolls for walking and driving, and a tax on shoes and stockings and dress trimmings. And whatever he wished for he got. For the sake of money, people brought him everything, and they offered to work for him – for everyone wanted money.
Iván the Fool, also, did not live badly. As soon as he had buried his father-in-law, he took off all his royal robes and gave them to his wife to put away in a chest; and he again donned his hempen shirt, his breeches and peasant shoes, and started again to work.
‘It’s dull for me,’ said he. ‘I’m getting fat and have lost my appetite and my sleep.’ So he brought his father and mother and his dumb sister to live with him, and worked as before.
People said, ‘But you are a king!’
‘Yes,’ said he, ‘but even a king must eat.’
One of his ministers came to him and said, ‘We have no money to pay salaries.’
‘All right,’ says he, ‘then don’t pay them.’
‘Then no one will serve.’
‘All right; let them not serve. They will have more time to work; let them cart manure. There is plenty of scavenging to be done.’
And people came to Iván to be tried. One said, ‘He stole my money.’ And Iván said, ‘All right, that shows that he wanted it.’
And they all got to know that Iván was a fool. And his wife said to him, ‘People say that you are a fool.’
‘All right,’ said Iván.
His wife thought and thought about it, but she also was a fool.
‘Shall I go against my husband? Where the needle goes the thread follows,’ said she.
So she took off her royal dress, put it away in a chest, and went to the dumb girl to learn to work. And she learned to work and began to help her husband.
And all the wise men left Iván’s kingdom; only the fools remained.
Nobody had money. They lived and worked. They fed themselves; and they fed others.
X
THE old Devil waited and waited for news from the imps of their having ruined the three brothers. But no news came. So he went himself to inquire about it. He searched and searched, but instead of finding the three imps he found only the three holes.
‘Evidently they have failed,’ thought he. ‘I shall have to tackle it myself.’
So he went to look for the brothers, but they were no longer in their old places. He found them in three different kingdoms. All three were living and reigning. This annoyed the old Devil very much.
‘Well,’ said he, ‘I must try my own hand at the job.’
First he went to King Simon. He did not go to him in his own shape, but disguised himself as a general, and drove to Simon’s palace.
‘I hear, King Simon,’ said he, ‘that you are a great warrior, and as I know that business well, I desire to serve you.’
King Simon questioned him, and seeing that he was a wise man, took him into his service.
The new commander began to teach King Simon how to form a strong army.
‘First,’ said he, ‘we must levy more soldiers, for there are in your kingdom many people unemployed. We must recruit all the young men without exception. Then you will have five times as many soldiers as formerly. Secondly, we must get new rifles and cannons. I will introduce rifles that will fire a hundred balls at once; they will fly out like peas. And I will get cannons that will consume with fire either man, or horse, or wall. They will burn up everything!’
Simon the King listened to the new commander, ordered all young men without exception to be enrolled as soldiers, and had new factories built in which he manufactured large quantities of improved rifles and cannons. Then he made haste to declare war against a neighbouring king. As soon as he met the other army, King Simon ordered his soldiers to rain balls against it and shoot fire from the cannons, and at one blow he burned and crippled half the enemy’s army. The neighbouring king was so thoroughly frightened that he gave way and surrendered his kingdom. King Simon was delighted.
‘Now,’ said he, ‘I will conquer the King of India.’
But the Indian King had heard about King Simon, and had adopted all his inventions, and added more of his own. The Indian King enlisted not only all the young men, but all the single women also, and got together a greater army even than King Simon’s. And he copied all King Simon’s rifles and cannons, and invented a way of flying through the air to throw explosive bombs from above.
King Simon set out to fight the Indian King, expecting to beat him as he had beaten the other king; but the scythe that had cut so well had lost its edge. The King of India did not let Simon’s army come within gunshot, but sent his women through the air to hurl down explosive bombs on to Simon’s army. The women began to rain down bombs on to the army like borax upon cockroaches. The army ran away, and Simon the King was left alone. So the Indian King took Simon’s kingdom, and Simon the
Soldier fled as best he might.
Having finished with his brother, the old Devil went to King Tarás. Changing himself into a merchant, he settled in Tarás’s kingdom, started a house of business, and began spending money. He paid high prices for everything, and everybody hurried to the new merchant’s to get money. And so much money spread among the people that they began to pay all their taxes promptly, and paid up all their arrears, and King Tarás rejoiced.
‘Thanks to the new merchant,’ thought he, ‘I shall have more money than ever; and my life will be yet more comfortable.’
And Tarás the King began to form fresh plans, and began to build a new palace. He gave notice that people should bring him wood and stone, and come to work, and he fixed high prices for everything. King Tarás thought people would come in crowds to work as before, but to his surprise all the wood and stone was taken to the merchant’s, and all the workmen went there too. King Tarás increased his price, but the merchant bid yet more. King Tarás had much money, but the merchant had still more, and outbid the King at every point.
The King’s palace was at a standstill; the building did not get on.
King Tarás planned a garden, and when autumn came he called for the people to come and plant the garden, but nobody came. All the people were engaged digging a pond for the merchant. Winter came, and King Taras wanted to buy sable furs for a new overcoat. He sent to buy them, but the messengers returned and said, ‘There are no sables left. The merchant has all the furs. He gave the best price, and made carpets of the skins.’
King Tarás wanted to buy some stallions. He sent to buy them, but the messengers returned saying, ‘The merchant has all the good stallions; they are carrying water to fill his pond.’
All the King’s affairs came to a standstill. Nobody would work for him, for everyone was busy working for the merchant; and they only brought King Tarás the merchant’s money to pay their taxes.
And the King collected so much money that he had nowhere to store it, and his life became wretched. He ceased to form plans, and would have been glad enough simply to live, but he was hardly able even to do that. He ran short of everything. One after another his cooks, coachmen, and servants left him to go to the merchant. Soon he lacked even food. When he sent to the market to buy anything, there was nothing to be got – the merchant had bought up everything, and people only brought the King money to pay their taxes.