by Adele Abbott
“What circumstances, exactly?”
“You may not be aware, but there’s going to be a Supermoon tonight, which means there’s likely to be a lot of zombie activity.”
“I did know, actually, because I bumped into some friends of mine who are rogue retrievers. They’ve been seconded to Z-Branch. When I saw them, they were digging zombie traps.”
“And thank goodness for that. The fact that Z-Branch have been deployed illustrates the gravity of the situation. We’re hopeful that the measures they’ve taken will be enough to ward off a crisis, but we’re warning all Z-Watch members to be vigilant tonight, just in case.”
“Okay, Ike. Thanks for the heads-up. I’ll keep my eyes peeled.”
Outside, a car horn sounded; it was my taxi.
“Mornin’, darlin’,” the cab driver greeted me. “It’s nice to pick up someone who doesn’t look like a zombie.”
“Sorry? Did you say zombie?”
“Most people are still half-asleep when I pick ‘em up at this time of day, but you look bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. Are you doing something nice?”
“I’m going to the seaside for the day.”
“Want to take me with you?” He laughed. “Ain’t got nowt special on.”
“Thanks for the offer, but I’m going with my sister.”
“Girls’ day out, eh? Nice. Where you two going?”
“Frickle-On-Sea.”
“I love that place. I used to go there when I was a nipper. You’ll be having fish and chips, I’m guessing.”
“Probably.”
“You have to. It’s the law. And candy floss.”
When the taxi dropped me off, Kathy was already waiting for me, and to my surprise, Lizzie was standing next to her.
“Morning, you two.”
“Hello, Auntie Jill.”
“Morning, Jill.”
“Won’t Lizzie be late for school?”
“I’m not at school today.”
“Oh?”
“It’s our school trip.”
“Right.” That made sense. Kathy had obviously decided to take advantage of Lizzie being away for the day. “Where are you going, Lizzie?”
“To the seaside.” She turned to Kathy. “What’s it called, Mummy?”
“Frickle-On-Sea, darling.”
Just then, a crowd of children, accompanied by a few adults, came out of the school gates and began to walk towards us.
Only then, did the penny drop.
“Kathy?” I glared at her.
“Yes?” She gave me her little miss innocent look.
Before I could get the words out, a bus came around the corner, parked in front of us, and its doors slid open. By now, the other children had joined us.
“All aboard the Frickle-On-Sea Express,” the driver said.
“This is my sister, Jill.” Kathy introduced me to the other women.
“It was good of you to volunteer like this.” A woman with horn-rimmed glasses shook my hand.
I forced a smile, and then grabbed Kathy by the arm. “Could I have a quick word, please?”
“Sure. Lizzie, you get on the bus and find a seat, while I speak to Auntie Jill.”
I wanted to scream at Kathy, but I had to keep it down so that the others wouldn’t hear. “This is a school trip!”
“I know.”
“I know you know, but I didn’t know.”
“I thought I’d mentioned it.”
“Liar. This is another of your traps.”
“I promised that we’d have a day out at the seaside, and that’s what we’re getting.”
“You, me and a cast of thousands.”
“If I hadn’t been able to find another responsible adult, the whole trip would have been cancelled.”
“Responsible? Me? I’m the most irresponsible person I know.”
“You’re not going to let Lizzie down now, are you?”
“Of course I’m not. You knew I’d have to go along with it once I was here.”
“Come on. We’d better get on board; they’re waiting for us.”
“I’ll get you back for this.”
The woman with the horn-rimmed glasses turned out to be Mrs Plum, the headmistress. When we were halfway to Frickle-On-Sea, she swapped seats with Kathy for a few minutes, so she could speak to me.
“Thank you again for helping us out at such short notice, Jill.”
“No problem,” I said, through gritted teeth.
“Kathy told me how excited you were to be involved.”
“Did she now?”
“I gather you and your sister are very close.”
“Oh yes, very.” But probably not after today.
“We have quite a full day planned.”
“Lots of sunbathing on the beach, I assume.”
“Definitely not. It wouldn’t do for us to waste all day on the beach, would it?”
“Wouldn’t it? No, I suppose not.”
“Here.” She handed me a sheet of paper. “This is the schedule for the day.”
“The Frickle-On-Sea Museum?”
“I thought it best to go there first because it will probably get busy later.”
“Really?” Who cares about some boring museum? Yawn. “The Fishing Net Craft Centre? What’s that?”
“Frickle-On-Sea used to be a major fishing port. Although that’s no longer the case, the craft centre gives demonstrations on how the fishing nets used to be made. I’ve seen it a couple of times, and I have to say it’s fascinating.”
“I bet.”
“Sorry?”
“I bet it’s really interesting.” More yawns.
“It certainly is.”
“Then lunch?” I said. “I assume we’ll be getting fish and chips?”
“Certainly not. All that fat? The children were told to bring sandwiches. Didn’t Kathy tell you to bring something?”
“She must have forgotten.”
“Not to worry. You’re welcome to share mine. I have egg and cress sandwiches.”
“Yummy.”
The headmistress went on to talk me through the afternoon’s activities, but I was practically comatose by then.
“What about the beach?” I asked. “Surely, the kids will want to play on the sand?”
“Of course. Look.” She pointed to the last item on her ‘schedule’. “I’ve allocated thirty minutes before we get back on the coach.”
Thirty whole minutes? Whoopee!
“You and Mrs Plum seemed to hit it off,” Kathy said, after she’d swapped seats with the headmistress again.
“Have you seen her ‘schedule’ for the day?”
“Yeah. There’s an awful lot to cram in.”
“And it’s all boring stuff. It’s the kids I feel sorry for. I’m sure they’d prefer to build sandcastles, and paddle in the sea, instead of listening to someone drone on about the history of fishing nets.”
“It could be interesting.”
“How did you manage to say that with a straight face?”
“Don’t you remember when we had that school trip to the cotton mill museum?”
“No.”
“You must do. We saw lots of cotton-spinning machinery.”
“It was probably so boring that I’ve erased it from my memory.”
“You always were shallow, Jill.”
Okay, I admit it. The Frickle-On-Sea Museum was actually quite interesting. It was weird to look back at old photographs taken at the resort; some of them dated back to the early part of the previous century. I could definitely picture Grandma wearing the type of bathing costumes they wore back then.
The Fishing Net Craft Centre was a different matter. It turned out to be every bit as boring as I’d expected. To be fair, most of the kids seemed to find it enjoyable. They were all given an opportunity to make a small section of fishing net.
Not only was I bored, but I was starving too, and the only thing I had to look forward to was a few egg and cress sandwiches.
“Having fun?” Kathy had come over to join me.
“Oh yeah, it’s a laugh a minute. Can you watch the kids while I nip to the loo?”
“Sure. No problem.”
I hurried back to the front of the building. Everyone had been told to leave their sandwich boxes in a cupboard, close to the main entrance doors. After checking there was no one around, I sneaked inside, cast the ‘hide’ spell, and then went back to join Kathy and the kids.
“Okay, children,” the headmistress said. “It’s time for lunch now. We’ll collect our sandwich boxes, and go and sit in the park.”
Everyone followed her to the cupboard.
“They’ve gone!” She gasped.
“They can’t have.” Kathy checked for herself. “Who would steal a load of sandwich boxes?”
“I’m starving, Miss!” A young boy shouted.
“Me too!” The little girl next to him looked tearful.
Soon, all the kids had joined in.
“There’s a fish and chip shop just across the road,” I shouted over the din. “Why don’t we go there?”
“I—err—don’t think—” the headmistress began, but her objections were drowned out by the kids who were all very keen. In the end, she relented, “Okay, I suppose we have no choice under the circumstances.”
The fish, chips and mushy peas were to die for.
Kathy came to join me. “These are delicious.”
“They’re definitely better than egg and cress sandwiches.”
“What do you think could have happened to the sandwich boxes?”
“Who knows? People will steal anything these days.”
Straight after lunch, we were forced to endure a walking tour of the old port. That left only two items on the infamous ‘schedule’. Next was a two-hour tour of the botanical gardens, followed by thirty minutes on the beach, and then home.
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a few flowers as much as the next person, but I had no desire to spend two hours looking at them, and I was sure that the kids didn’t. It was time for me to step in again.
“Kathy. Watch the kids while I go to the loo, would you?”
“Again?”
“Sorry. I won’t be long.”
I didn’t have much time, so I cast the ‘faster’ spell to get me to the botanical gardens in a matter of seconds. Once there, I quickly cast the spell that I was relying on to rescue what was left of our day, and then I rushed back to the kids.
Fifteen minutes later, we all arrived at the gates of the botanical gardens—only to find them locked.
“Sorry.” A man wearing a blue uniform and cap was standing in front of the gates. “You can’t come in, I’m afraid.”
“Why not?” Mrs Plum sounded indignant. “We’ve travelled a long way to get here today.”
“I’m sorry, madam, but I’m sure you wouldn’t want your little darlings to become the lion’s next meal.”
“Lion?”
“Yes. There’s a lion loose inside.”
“Where did it come from?”
“That’s a very good question. No one seems to know.”
“Is there a zoo around here?”
“No zoo. No circus. It’s something of a mystery.”
The headmistress turned to face us. “I’m very sorry, children. I know you’ll be disappointed to hear that we can’t go into the botanical gardens.”
“Why don’t we spend more time on the beach?” I suggested. “Kids? Would you like that?”
The chorus of ‘yesses’ was deafening.
“Err—I—err—suppose that would be okay,” Mrs Plum agreed reluctantly.
And so it was that we got to spend the next two-and-a-bit hours on the beach. Sandcastles were built (and destroyed), the kids paddled, and much fun was had. The adults hired deckchairs, and spent an enjoyable afternoon doing very little.
“This is more like it.” I sighed.
“I don’t understand where the lion could have come from,” Kathy said.
“It’s a mystery for sure, but I reckon it turned out for the best. The kids have enjoyed the beach much more than they would have the botanical gardens.”
On the way home, most of the kids dozed on the coach. They were exhausted from running up and down the beach.
“Today wasn’t so bad after all, was it?” Kathy said.
“The fish and chips and the beach made it bearable.”
“Am I forgiven, then?”
“Definitely not. You don’t get off that easily.”
“I still can’t understand how the sandwich boxes turned up on the coach.”
“That was a little weird.”
“Not as weird as the lion, though.” Kathy was staring at her phone. “According to my news app, the lion disappeared into thin air.”
Jack had to work late, but Peter was on hand to drop me at the house. It was almost eleven o’clock when Jack eventually got back home.
“Hello, sexy.” He greeted me with a kiss and a cuddle. “Did you and Kathy have a good day at the seaside?”
“Yes, it was fantastic.”
“Really?” He smirked. “What about all the kids? Did they enjoy it?”
“How did you know about the kids?”
“Peter told me.”
“Hang on. When did he tell you?”
“This morning before you came downstairs. Kathy asked him to call to make sure you were up.”
“You knew it was a school trip, and you didn’t tell me?”
“I was going to, but then you started to gloat because I had to go to work while you were having a day at the seaside.”
“I did not gloat.”
“Not much. Now, what was it you were singing? Oh yes, I remember. Oh, I do like to be beside the seaside.”
“I hate you.”
“Come on, Jill, you have to see the funny side.”
“Which is?”
“That you thought you were getting a girls’ day out, but instead you became a school teacher for the day.”
“I’m going to bed.” I started for the door.
“Did you remember to buy me a stick of rock?”
“I did, and you know where you can shove it, don’t you?”
Chapter 6
By the next morning, I’d decided to be magnanimous and forgive Jack for the previous day.
What do you mean I’d been in the wrong too? Don’t be ridiculous.
I was in the kitchen, munching my way through two slices of toast; Jack had popped out to get a newspaper.
“The Bugle has really surpassed itself this time,” he said when he walked back in. “What a headline.”
“I thought you only wanted the newspaper for the ten-pin bowling scores?”
“I do, but just listen to this headline: Zombies spotted in Washbridge.”
“What? Are there photos?”
“Of course there aren’t photos.” He looked at me as though I’d just fallen out of the stupid tree, and hit every branch on the way down. “You do realise that zombies aren’t real, don’t you?”
“Err—yeah, of course. What does it say?”
“Just that the newspaper has received several calls from people in different areas of Washbridge who all claim to have seen a zombie.”
“That’s weird.”
“You know why this has happened, don’t you? It’s because of the full moon. People go crazy and imagine all kinds of stuff when there’s a full moon.”
“That must be it. I—err—I’d better put out the trash.”
“I’ve already done it.”
“Right. I’ll go and check on the sandpit, then.”
“What’s to check? It was still there ten minutes ago.”
“I want to make sure the local cats haven’t been using it as a litter tray.” I grabbed my coat and hurried outside.
When I’d arrived home from the seaside the previous day, I’d totally forgotten that I was supposed to be keeping a watch out for zombies. I needed to check in with Z-Watch to ge
t an update.
“Z-Watch. How can I help?”
“Is that Ike?”
“Ike’s not here at the moment. This is Noel Knowles.”
“Noel—?”
“Knowles, yes. How can I help?”
“It’s Jill Gooder. I’m a member of Z-Watch. I just wanted to check how things went last night.”
“Catchphrase please?”
“Crazy just got crazier.”
“Hi, Jill. It’s been one heck of a night as you can imagine.”
“I’ve just seen the headlines in The Bugle.”
“The traps set by Z-Branch caught most of the undead, but a few stragglers got through.”
“There doesn’t appear to be any photos, thank goodness.”
“That’s because Z-Branch had the foresight to bring over some specially trained witches and wizards who were tasked with intercepting any humans who caught sight of the zombies. They used magic to make the humans forget, and then manually erased any photos they may have taken. Fortunately, it appears that the few humans they missed hadn’t taken photos. We were very lucky this time.”
“Do we have an all-clear now?”
“We’re asking members to continue to be vigilant because there’s every chance that there may still be a few zombies around. Hopefully, they’ll all be mopped up by the end of the morning.”
“Okay, Noel. Thanks very much for the update.”
“Who were you on the phone to?” Jack asked when I went back inside. He must have seen me through the back window.
“It was Mrs V. Apparently, she’s decided on white limousines for the wedding.”
“She rang you at this time of the morning to tell you that?”
“I told you how excited she was about the wedding.”
“I can’t blame her. I’m looking forward to it, too.”
“That makes one of us.”
“I’m especially looking forward to seeing you in your sexy bridesmaid’s outfit.”
“Can we not discuss bridesmaid’s dresses at this time in the morning? Just thinking about it gives me heartburn.”
***
When I left for work, I noticed that one of the back doors of Megan’s van was open. I couldn’t see the woman herself, so thought I’d better make sure no one was helping themselves to her gardening tools.