Broken Butterfly

by Cindy Patterson

  Mallory stood at the window staring at Eric’s truck. Could it be possible that Victoria set up the whole thing? If only that were true—If only she could be sure. Could any man be trusted?

  “Hey, you okay?” Rachel stepped into the room.

  Mallory stumbled back from the window. “Yeah, I was just admiring the snow. Is Eric leaving?”

  Rachel plopped down on the bed leaning back on her elbows. “No. He even came up with something great to do this afternoon.”

  The thought of spending more than a few minutes with him seemed impossible. She would never relax. “Really?”

  Rachel grinned. “We’re going sledding.”

  “Sledding?”

  “I haven’t tried it before. We never got snow in Florida. But it can’t be much different than riding on the water.” Rachel grabbed a thick jacket and handed her one. “We’ll need to wear layers. I have long johns we can wear under our jeans, and you can put a sweater over that shirt.”

  By the time she finished dressing, Mallory wanted to go outside to cool off. She grabbed her gloves, scarf, and coat before following Rachel down stairs. Eric was no longer standing where she’d last seen him. Warmth settled over her at the thought of being near him, of what she would say.

  “I’m going outside to get some air. I’ll be right back.” Thinking Eric was in the kitchen, she rushed through the front door and stopped suddenly when she found him sitting on the swing.

  He slid over making room for her, and she didn’t want to start the afternoon off the way she had this morning so she sat next to him. She stared at her boots as he kicked the cement porch putting the swing in motion.

  The silence between them was uncomfortable until he finally spoke, “Have you ever been sledding?”

  Mallory stole a glance at him. “Have you?”

  “Once or twice.” His voice was kind, gentle. Warmth filled his gaze. She resented the control he held over her. “I think I’m cool enough now.” She stood to walk inside when Paul’s truck turned into the driveway.

  Rachel stood by the kitchen sink, and Mallory joined her as second thoughts rambled through her brain. The memories of sledding with him years ago slammed against her chest, the pain shockingly raw.

  Walking hand in hand, Dragonfly led her down the streets of his neighborhood, snowflake dust falling from the pines.

  “Where are we going?”

  “There’s a park up the street. Are you warm enough?”

  The snowsuit and heavy jacket he’d brought clung to her skin blocking the frigid air. She nodded. “I must look ridiculous.”

  He squeezed her gloved fingers. “You look adorable.”

  Could she go through with this?

  Moments later, Paul and Eric joined them in the kitchen.

  Rachel placed her glass in the dishwasher. “We’re ready whenever you guys are.”

  Paul was driving, so Mallory climbed in the back of his truck. Eric’s arm brushed against her leg as he scooted in beside her. Though she could barely feel it through all the layers of clothing, a current of electricity ignited a new wave of doubt.

  Soft music played in the background, but then the song about Paradise came on—the song Eric had played for her. She held her breath waiting. Did he even remember? Staring through the window at the blurring fields, she soaked in the words.

  The wheel breaks the butterfly … In the night, the stormy night, Away she’d fly. She dreamed of paradise every time she closed her eyes. Was Eric watching her? How could she be here in Paradise, sitting next to this man and not give in? Keeping her gaze averted, she held the door handle, her heart torn.

  A few minutes later, Paul parked and they climbed from the truck. He and Eric lifted two sleds from the back.

  They followed Paul through a short, wooded area before they reached a large open field. Her gaze rested on the drop, the sun’s rays reflecting off the bleached white below, until her eyes watered.

  Their boots crunched through the solid sheet of packed snow.

  Rachel slipped an arm through Mallory’s. “Will you be all right if I ride with Paul?”

  “Of course. Go ahead.” Air rushed out of her body as Eric moved in the place next to her.

  Paul nudged Rachel’s arm. “Go ahead.”

  She climbed on the sled and Paul sat down behind her.

  Eric set the bottom of his sled in the space in front of them. “If you want to wait and ride with Rachel, I understand. But I’m not riding with Paul.” His smile flashed in her direction.

  “No, it’s fine.” She chuckled softly. “I’m just not sure what to do.”

  “We should’ve gotten directions from Paul. He’s the Amish boy who grew up doing this. Why don’t you get on first, and I’ll sit behind you like they did?”

  Mallory took a deep breath. “Okay.”

  Eric scooted in behind her, and her muscles tensed as his body pressed against hers.

  “Maybe you should sit in front.” Mallory focused ahead on the bottom of the hill. It can’t be too bad.

  She stood so he could scoot up, and she sat behind him. She tried sliding in closer, but had no where to put her legs. They were uncomfortable stretched out. Eric gently positioned them. She exhaled not realizing she’d been holding her breath.

  “Is that comfortable?”

  Every forbidden feeling she’d ever had for him erupted. This was Dragonfly, the same boy she’d sledded with years ago. But this was different—very different. “Yes.” She breathed in long and hard, savoring his woodsy, spice scent she’d missed for months.

  She reluctantly put her arms around him. He pushed through the snow with his hands, inching them closer to the edge.

  “Are you ready?”

  “No.” She laughed. “I’m just kidding.”

  “Don’t worry. I won’t let you go.”

  In the next moment, they glided down the hill. Her stomach dropped, and she wrapped her arms tighter around Eric, pressing her face against his back. When they came to a stop, she released her grip.

  Eric turned to face her. “Do you want to go again?”

  His warm gaze confused Mallory’s thoughts. “Yes, that was amazing. Do you?”

  “Absolutely, Mallory Elizabeth,” he said her name so lovingly she felt unsteady.

  Eric lifted the sled with one hand and took her gloved hand in the other, and they climbed the slippery hill.

  They tried switching places again, and Mallory fought her desire to enjoy being this close when he wrapped his arms around her. He stretched his legs out. “Cross your legs and rest them on mine.

  “I don’t want to hurt you.”

  His soft laugh brushed his warm breath against her neck. “I promise. You won’t.”

  Mallory screamed as they glided down the slippery slope. She had buried her head in his coat before and didn’t have this same view. Flakes of snow beat against her face as they swerved from side to side. She pressed against him. His strong arms tightened around her, and she trembled. She’d trusted the young boy wholly, fully like she had no other since—but he had left. Now that he was grown, would he do the same?

  Thirty-One

  After an hour of sledding, Mallory and the others piled into Paul’s truck wet and exhausted. She settled her arms in her lap, her thoughts still centered on Eric’s arms holding her with strength, yet gentleness. Once at Rachel’s house, they stripped off their boots, coats, and scarves by the front door and hung them on the rack to dry. She followed Rachel into the kitchen, while Eric and Paul started a fire in the hearth.

  With propped elbows on the counter, Mallory settled her chin in her hands. “Thanks, Rachel. That was fun.”

  “We’ll have to do that again.” Rachel leaned closer. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m too good.” Mallory glanced over her shoulder toward Eric.

  G
rabbing a box of hot chocolate from the cabinet, Rachel smiled. “I can tell.”

  “Does it show?”

  “It’s just so good to see you smile.”

  A few minutes later, she followed Rachel into the living room and Mallory handed Eric a cup of hot chocolate, the sweet scent rising with the steam.

  “Thank you.” Eric squatted on the floor next to her and brushed her upper lip with his finger. “You have a chocolate mustache.”

  Mallory tensed at his touch. “Thank you for today.” She focused on the tiny lines surrounding his lips as he smiled. “I had a good time.”

  He stood. “Me too.”

  Eric turned to answer Paul’s question, but Mallory heard nothing but her own breathing.

  “Is it okay if I join you guys for dinner?”

  “Yes, of course.” A shiver ran down her spine. She wasn’t ready to say goodbye yet.

  After a few minutes, Rachel stood. “Andrew’s going to pick up Kelli and meet us at the restaurant. We need to get going.”

  As they headed toward Paul’s truck, Mallory brushed her hands against her heavy jacket. “These didn’t have time to dry.”

  Eric opened the door and helped her in. “I know. Are you warm enough?”

  Mallory stepped up and, after sitting, turned to face Eric. “Yes, thank you.”

  His smile sent a flutter of warmth through her.

  They reached the Japanese restaurant and were seated around a big table. Mallory slid into the booth after Rachel and Paul. Eric moved in behind her.

  “I recommend the Hibachi Chicken.” Eric pointed at the line item on her menu. “It comes with an orange dipping sauce, mixed vegetables, and rice.”

  “Will you order for me?” Her breath came in short spurts as she remembered all those years ago. Everything about this seemed surreal.

  Eric closed the space of the few inches between them. “Of course.”

  The easy banter with her friends settled across her soul like a cool breeze on a summer day. It had been months since she’d seen these faces—faces she dreamed of seeing again every night, especially the one sitting next to her. The soft whip of his dark hair slung across his forehead in disarray, the deep color of his skin remained though summer had long passed. Turning toward him, a mix of elation and disbelief settled over her. This was really happening. Dragonfly sat next to her, something she’d dreamed of for years. The thudding of her heart grew stronger.

  After everyone ordered, the waiter cooked shrimp, chicken, rice, and vegetables on the large skillet in front of them, the aroma soaring through the smoky haze. He joked while chopping the meat with sharp knives and flipped them over the flaming grill. Mallory stared as the cook slung a piece of chicken onto her plate. Everyone laughed.

  “When do you start working at the children’s home?”

  How did he know? “In the morning.”

  “I’ll pick you up. What time should I come?”

  Mallory studied the piece of glazed chicken coated with sesame seeds. “I don’t expect you to drive me.”

  “I know you don’t, but I want to. Is seven-thirty too early?”

  “No, but really you don’t have to.”

  Mallory dipped a piece of chicken in the sauce and took a bite. “This is delicious.”

  Eric’s glanced at her. “I’m glad you like it.”

  Andrew faced them. “I’ve never seen someone so willing to try anything. This girl isn’t picky at all.”

  Mallory flipped her head to the side and mustered a steely glare at Andrew. “If you don’t try new things, you might miss out on something really great.”

  Andrew nodded. “That’s a great way to look at it.”

  Eric found her hand under the table, the heat of his fingers blazed through her skin. With a gentle squeeze he released her.

  After everyone finished, they walked toward the register. Eric slipped the ticket from her fingers. “Hey.” She stopped, letting everyone else pass. “Eric, you don’t have to do this.”

  His eyes glimmered in the soft light above them. “Mallory Elizabeth.” He brushed his fingers against her cheek. Her mind went blank. “I want to.”

  Mallory followed him, speechless, as he gave the two tickets to the cashier and paid.

  He turned, taking a step closer. “Are you ready?”

  She nodded and allowed him to open the doors leading them outside into the freezing night air. “Thank you, Eric.”

  Mallory climbed into the back seat and scooted over to make room for him. Warmth settled on her quickly.

  Staring through the window, she jumped when Eric placed his hand on her shoulder.

  “What’s wrong?”

  Mallory cleared her throat. “Nothing.”

  His carefree smile faded and her heart hammered, the desire to kiss him burning like a blazing fire. She exhaled a lung full of air.

  Arriving at Rachel’s, Mallory moved across the yard next to Eric, with a feeling of walking on air. She didn’t want to rush this moment.

  Paul turned to face them. “Gut nacht guys. I’m so glad you joined us, Mallory.” Paul walked with her to the front door, leaving Mallory alone with Eric.

  With Eric by her side, their pace slowed. “I look forward to doing this again.” His voice was certain, his gaze flickering to her lips.

  Paul passed by as they made their way up the steps. “See you in the morgen.”

  Eric released her fingers, and her gaze fell. “Me too. Goodnight, Eric.” She stuffed her hands in her pockets, turned, and walked inside with slow, deep breaths.

  Once safe inside, she leaned against the wall, trying to catch her breath.

  “So, how are you feeling?”

  Mallory crossed the room, the thudding of her heart still prominent. “I’m so excited to be staying here. You’re sure it’s okay with your mom? And what about Mary? How will I let her know I’m not coming home tonight?”

  “My mom’s going out of town for a couple of days and feels better knowing you’re staying with me. And Eric told Mary when he picked you up this morning, just in case you said yes.” Rachel’s mischievous grin didn’t go unnoticed.

  Why didn’t he say anything?

  “Would you like something to drink?”

  “No, thank you.” Mallory rubbed her middle. “I ate way too much.”

  Rachel took a chair at the kitchen table. “Me too.”

  Sitting across from her, Mallory hung her head. How would she ever be able to thank her?

  “You know, we haven’t performed Pride and Prejudice.”

  “Really?”

  “Some of us had to take a short break. It was too hard—you not being there.”

  The information robbed Mallory’s breath for a split second. “I had no idea.”

  Mallory stared into space for a long moment. She had been wrong to not tell them the truth, to let them worry. Memories of Eric speaking his lines with compassion, the deep connection she felt as he moved only inches from her, his gaze falling to her mouth, the second when their lips almost touched, she exhaled.

  “The show is still scheduled.” Rachel’s eyes glinted with humor.

  Mallory straightened, thrusting the images aside. “What do you mean?”

  “Jonathan would be ecstatic to see you. No one took Elizabeth’s part.” She made small movements with her finger. “Instead everyone prayed for you—at every practice. They believed you were coming back. I mean, they really believed it.”

  Thickness swelled in Mallory’s throat. “I don’t know what to say.”

  “Say yes. It would be a shame to waste such an amazing talent.”

  “I would love to, but what about Jake?” Dread welled in her chest just speaking his name.

  Rachel’s brows furrowed. “You think he’s still in Lancaster County?”

 
“I don’t know.” She deliberated for a moment. “But he will never give up.”

  “What happened with him?” Rachel’s voice elevated.

  “He came to the apartment—to take me home. Only by God’s grace was I able to get away. Andrew drove me to Mary’s.” She wrapped her arms around her torso. “It would be better if I left, but I have nowhere to go. What will I do if he finds me?”

  A horror-stricken flicker filled Rachel’s eyes. “Are you married?”

  “No.” Mallory scoffed. “It would be better to let him kill me than to marry him.”

  Rachel’s eyes widened. “What did he do to you?”

  She watched the candlelight flicker on the dancing flame. How much should I tell her? “I was fourteen when I met him. He treated me like a kid sister at first, at least long enough for me to trust him. I worked at his dad’s tattoo parlor every weekend, but my foster parents caught me. I got scared and took off. I was sixteen and didn’t want to go back to the children’s home.” She crossed her feet under the table. “Jake asked me to move in with him. He told me he’d take care of me and I believed him.” Mallory shook her head as the idiotic decisions she’d made came rushing back. “I had nowhere else to go.”

  “How old was he?”

  “Twenty-two when I moved in. On my eighteenth birthday, everything changed. He started making advances toward me. When he tried to kiss me, I pushed him away. That was the first time he slapped me.” Tears pierced the back of her eyelids. “I wanted to find a way out, but I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t trust any of his friends. He no longer let me go to the shop after accusing me of flirting with his customers. But I was glad. He was leaving me home alone.”

  Mallory pressed a napkin out with her hand, folding it into small squares. “I left the next morning, but had nowhere to go. Going back to the children’s home was out of the question, so I slept on the streets. I was scared of the others always lurking around, staring at me, so when Jake found me three days later and apologized, I went with him. He promised to take care of me—to never let me go.”