He had spoken of his father in the past tense, and hadn’t mentioned his mother at all. Still, she mused, she had an invitation to return to that wonderful, warm house, where people laughed and made you feel welcome, like part of the family. There would be ample time to satisfy her curiosity concerning John Kelly. And even though she had yet to meet Bridie’s husband, she was sure that he too would welcome her in the same open-hearted manner. The faceless man must be as kind as his wife and grandson, because how, when living with such people, could he be anything else.
And she would go back, and take the children with her. Well, maybe not Alice, who thought herself too grown up to be ordered around. But Sally would enjoy a day out, as would Billy. An image of her brother came to her, but he wasn’t alone in her imaginings. With him was Spud, and they were rolling around on the scattered rugs. And he was laughing and talking and… Abruptly she shook herself. She was behaving like a child looking forward to Christmas and, besides, how could she leave the house with the lot of them without explaining to her dad where she was going? He would either make a fuss and say they couldn’t go, or worse still, insist on coming to meet Kate’s new friends, and that would put a damper on any outing. Alex was just as bad, wanting to know her every move outside the time she spent in the shop.
Bugger it! The rebellious words sprang to her mind. For too long she had worried about other people; from now on she was going to start thinking of herself. She had made new friends, and she wasn’t a person who labelled people easily; she wasn’t going to miss the chance of enjoying their company. Nodding to herself, she settled her hands in her lap and prayed that her intentions would hold firm once she was back at home.
Chapter Seven
‘Where did you go this morning? Don’t bother trying to lie, because I went down to the shop at eight-thirty to get my newspaper and there was no sign of you.’ William stood by the dining table, arms folded, his ruddy face set in self-righteous indignation.
Kate, who had barely had time to step through the door, felt her stomach muscles tighten. From the moment the tram had re-entered familiar territory, self-doubt and a feeling of awkwardness had begun to set in. With the docks and the Kellys left behind, she had scolded herself for opening up her heart so easily; but only for a while. As the day had worn on and memories of the house and its occupants in Wapping came back, she had decided that the time had come for her to start living again. With a clearness of thought that had long been absent, she realised that she owed it to herself to shake off the morbid, almost catatonic, state in which she had sunk for so long.
Within the walls of the Kelly household her self-healing process had begun, and the reception that now greeted her on her arrival home only served to strengthen her resolution. Not daring to speak, she swept past the portly man and headed towards the kitchen, giving an exasperated sigh when she saw no evidence of preparations for the evening meal. Added to which, the pile of washing in the scullery remained just as she’d left it. A wave of anger swept over her. Just wait until I get my hands on that little madam! She’d told Alice that morning to make a start on the washing and dinner so that she herself wouldn’t have so much work when she got home, but her sister had done absolutely nothing. What the hell did she do all day?
‘Well…?’ William, determined to be heard, had followed her. Forced to discard his authoritative stance, he now clasped his hands behind his back. ‘Have you nothing to say for yourself?’ When Kate pushed him, none too gently, aside, his pompous expression wavered, to be replaced by one of uncertainty. She had never ignored him before. Clearing his throat, he tried to regain his ground. ‘Not only weren’t you at your place of work this morning, but you’ve seen fit to arrive home an hour later than usual. The children are waiting for their dinner – as am I – and Alex will be home soon. I can tell you, Kate, that he won’t be very pleased to come home after a hard day’s work to an empty table. You…’
‘Where’s Alice?’ Kate demanded, then without waiting for an answer she ran from the room, shouting her sister’s name.
‘She went out to see a friend, Kate.’ Sally spoke from the depths of the armchair. ‘I would have started the dinner when I got home from school, but dad told me not to.’
‘And quite right too.’ William broke into the conversation. ‘It’s not for the girls to see to the meals; that’s your job. So…’ He rocked back on his heels. ‘If you don’t mind, we are all waiting for our dinner. You can explain yourself after we have eaten.’
Rounding on him, Kate, her hands on her hips, said fiercely, ‘And it’s not my place either, Dad!’ Flushed with anger, she stared into his red face. ‘In case you’ve forgotten, I work all day too, just like Alex and, like him, I’d like to come home to find my dinner waiting for me.’
Sensing that his comfortable lifestyle was about to be disrupted, without knowing why, William stretched his neck and answered defensively, ‘Don’t take that tone with me, Kate! I know what you’re playing at. You’re trying to get out of explaining where you were this morning by attempting to divert my attention, but it won’t work. I…’
‘I have no intention of telling you where I was this morning, or any other morning,’ Kate said evenly. ‘I’m nineteen-years-old, and I can come and go as I please without having to explain my every movement to you!’
William’s shoulders sagged, his heart lurching painfully. It could have been Florrie standing there shouting at him, making him aware of the lack of respect he generated; it was as if his wife had come back through his daughter to haunt him. He had long since adapted to a life without her, especially with Alex taking on all responsibilities. He was fed and housed without having to lift a finger, and all the niggling everyday problems were dealt with by either Alex or Kate, leaving him to spend his days in peace. His mind skipped back to those last few miserable years with Florrie; he couldn’t put up with that treatment again, to be constantly forced to acknowledge his own weakness.
Drawing himself upright, he cast an accusing glare upon Kate, but her green eyes, normally soft and loving, were now hard and unflinching. Knowing he had lost this round, he resorted to his favourite trick of gaining sympathy by assuming a hang-dog expression and saying sadly, ‘I’m too hungry to argue with you now, Kate. I’ve had nothing to eat since this morning. And, like I said, Alex will be home soon and…’
But instead of eliciting remorse from Kate, his petulant features only served to fuel her anger. ‘Well, if you’re that hungry, why didn’t you start the dinner instead of sitting waiting for me to get home?’ Her unexpected suggestion brought a look of incredulity to William’s face. Kate stared long and hard at her father, waiting for the usual feeling of guilt to assail her, and was gratified when it failed to materialise. Turning on her heel, she marched back to the kitchen to prepare the dinner, leaving William staring after her.
‘I’ll help you, Kate.’ Sally had followed her, troubled by the scene in the parlour. Holding her hand, equally worried, was Billy.
Seeing the pair of them brought a lump of sorrow to Kate’s throat. She wished they hadn’t had to witness such an unpleasant scene. Lord knows they’d already had enough to cope with in their young lives without her adding to their burden. But she would make it up to them. From now on, there was going to be some laughter in their lives. A few hours with the Kellys would banish their worry and pain.
While Sally peeled the potatoes and Billy scraped the carrots, Kate busily chopped up a lump of beef, dropping it into a large saucepan sizzling with dripping. Over her shoulder she asked Sally, ‘This friend Alice has gone to see. Do I know her?’ In her peripheral vision she saw Sally’s nervous start and the rapid blinking of her eyes.
‘Um, I don’t think so, Kate. She, er, I mean Alice, didn’t say who she was.’
Wiping her hands on a dishcloth, Kate turned slowly. ‘It’s a boy, isn’t it, this new friend of Alice’s? And she hasn’t gone to his house, has she? More likely she’s off gadding around the street somewhere. Oh, don’t w
orry,’ she added kindly at the look of dejection on Sally’s face, ‘it’s not your fault. Look, get the table laid for me, will you. I’ll see to your sister when she gets home.’
Kate was just about to take in the hastily prepared meal when the front door opened on a laughing Alice and Alex. At the sight of them together her face twitched with controlled anger, coupled with a modicum of apprehension as Alice called out cheerfully, ‘Sorry I’m late, Kate. I met Alex on the way home and we stopped off for a drink.’
Alice looked at her sister, her brown eyes twinkling merrily. She was wearing a pale blue dress that stopped short of her ankles, her glossy dark hair tumbling around her shoulders. She looked much older than her fourteen years, and as Kate’s eyes raked over her animated face, she felt a twinge of alarm. Alex, standing behind his young sister, saw the look in Kate’s eyes and, mistaking it for one of jealousy, smiled inwardly. Tossing his cap into the armchair, he sat down at the table and opened his newspaper.
The meal was eaten in strained silence, the younger children keeping their heads down, not wanting to be drawn into the complex world of adults. As soon as they had finished eating, Billy and Sally escaped to the safety of their room, holding hands as they scampered up the stairs.
Kate watched them go, filled with sadness, then she pulled herself upright. It would all work out in the long run, but for now she had Alice to contend with. ‘Come on, you,’ she said tersely to the now silent girl. ‘You can help me wash up, and while we’re doing that, you can tell me where you’ve been all day.’
William, who had been sitting silent at the table, gave a mirthless laugh. ‘It seems there’s one rule for some and another for everyone else,’ he said sulkily.
Banging the plates down on the table, Kate growled, ‘Now don’t start that again, Dad, and it’s not the same thing, as you well know. Alice is only fourteen, and it shouldn’t be up to me to keep an eye on her. I’m not responsible for her; you are.’
Scraping back his chair, William strode to the door. Yanking at the doorknob he muttered. ‘I’m going for a walk.’
When the door slammed behind him, Alex raised his eyebrows, looking to Kate for an explanation, but she took no notice. Clearing the table of the dirty dishes, she walked to the kitchen, a sullen Alice trailing behind.
‘I didn’t really go for a drink, Kate,’ she started hesitantly. ‘I was only joking.’
Almost throwing the plates into the stone sink, Kate said sharply, ‘Look, Alice, I’ve enough to worry about without you adding to my problems. Now I don’t expect you to stay at home all day, but you could at least see to the dinner and washing while I’m at work. Look at it all!’ She swept her arm in the direction of the scullery, ‘It’s not fair to expect me to do everything around the house and work full time in the shop. But while we’re on the subject, just where have you been all day?’
Studiously avoiding eye contact, Alice made a great play of stacking the dirty cutlery on the draining board.
‘I was out looking for a job. Honest, Kate, I’ve been asking round all the shops, but there’s nothing going at the moment.’
Kate bit down the retort that rose to her lips. Alice was lying through her teeth. The only way she would ever get a job would be if someone came knocking at the door with the offer of one. Suddenly her body slumped wearily. She was so tired, so very, very tired. Throwing down the dishcloth, she said curtly, ‘I’ve done my bit for the day. You can do the rest.’ Flopping down in an armchair, she stared into the empty grate, praying that Alex wouldn’t try to start a conversation, yet knowing that particular prayer was doomed to failure.
‘What’s the matter with Mr Pooter?’
His sneering tone brought Kate’s head up sharply. Charles Pooter was a character created in a book entitled Diary of a Nobody. The gentleman in question worked in the City as a clerk, and the joke that keeps the book afloat is the portrayal of a man living in shabby surroundings trying to ape the life of a gentleman while being duped and sniggered at by everyone he comes into contact with. Kate hadn’t liked the book, seeing it as a cruel, vindictive piece of work. Alex, on the other hand, had thoroughly enjoyed it and gone out of his way to persuade his father to read it, knowing the effect the book would have on the sensitive man. If his intention had been to embarrass his father, the plan had backfired, for William also had enjoyed the book without once identifying himself with the pathetic character portrayed. Ever since, Alex had taken great delight in referring to William as Mr Pooter at every opportunity.
It was yet another sign of the cruel streak in his nature, and after this morning’s episode at the docks Kate began to regard her brother in a different light. Now, looking at his sneering face, she suddenly realised that she didn’t really like him. She still loved him – he was her brother, after all – and no matter how he treated others, he had always shown her nothing but kindness. She didn’t like him, however, and furthermore she didn’t trust him.
‘I asked you a question Kate.’
Conscious of his tall figure leaning over her, Kate raised her head, noting immediately that the sneering grin had been replaced by one of sardonic amusement. ‘I heard you, and as I’ve told you before, I don’t like to hear you talking about dad like that. It’s spiteful, and there’s no need for it.’
Throwing himself in the opposite armchair, Alex sprawled comfortably and gave a humourless laugh. ‘You weren’t exactly dishing out the milk of human kindness yourself, so don’t go giving me lectures on the way I speak to him. Besides, if he hasn’t the guts to stand up for himself, then he deserves all he gets.’
Normally, Kate would have let the matter drop, but the change that had been evoked by the day’s events wouldn’t let her remain mute. She was never going to return to that twilight world she’d been living in, not now; not ever again. Her tiredness made her reckless, overriding her mind’s warning to be cautious. Her gaze scornful, she looked directly at him and said, ‘I saw you at work today, Alex’, and was gratified by his look of sheer horror. ‘I saw how you treated those poor men, stripping them of their last shreds of dignity as if they were pieces of dirt, when all they wanted was an honest day’s work. I thought I was going to be sick. I’ve always looked up to you, made excuses for your behaviour, trying to persuade myself that you didn’t really mean any harm, but not any more; not after what I saw today. Now I know why mum wanted you out of the house… Oh yes, I know all about that,’ she said quickly as Alex jerked forward in surprise. ‘I was outside the door that night when mum and dad were arguing. I heard everything.’
Alex’s mind was racing as he listened to Kate. She had been down there, down among that stream of human flotsam that invaded the docks every day. His Kate, his beautiful, virginal Kate, mingling with the dregs of humanity! And she had seen him at work, seen the contemptuous way he dealt with them. He felt as near to shame as he was capable. He had to explain, had to redeem himself in Kate’s eyes. For love couldn’t survive without respect, and he couldn’t lose her love; he needed her love. If he lost that, all his plans would have been for nothing.
Kate watched dispassionately as the spectrums of emotions swept his face.
Deciding on his best line of defence, Alex pulled himself further up in the chair until he was sitting on the edge, his knees almost touching hers. When she pulled away, it was as though a knife had been driven into his heart. ‘What the hell were you doing down there? Haven’t I told you – no, warned you – never to go near the place? Those poor men, as you call them, would slit their own mother’s throat for the price of a drink. And as for the way I treated them… God almighty!’ He threw up his hands, shaking his head almost sorrowfully as if he were trying to explain some important detail to a small child. ‘You don’t understand, Kate. Look… There are at best only twenty jobs going on any given day with hundreds of men after them. I always look out for those I’ve worked with and know I can trust and give them the work; but the rest of them…’ He spread his hands, his fingertips brushing past he
r averted face. ‘What else can I do?’ he implored. ‘The only fair way is to do as I do, as most of the dock foremen do: and that’s to throw the tickets into the crowd and leave them to fight it out among themselves. Because that’s what it’s like down at any dockside. It’s survival of the fittest. I don’t like it any more than you do, but that’s the way life is with these men. I take no pleasure in it, believe me, but it’s my job. And, don’t forget, before I was taken on permanently, I had to fight with the rest for a day’s work, so I know what it’s like on the other side of the fence.’
His plausible words, uttered with such sincerity, threw Kate into confusion. Had she over-reacted? Had she really seen the evil smile? After all, she had been a long way from the wooden pulpit where Alex had been, and there had been a lot of confusion; and she wanted to believe him. Oh, lord, what was she to think? She was so tired she could barely keep her eyes open, and he looked so hurt, so vulnerable. It was as if he were two different people at times. There was a spiteful streak in him that was only too evident when dealing with their father, and then there was the other Alex, the Alex that brought home sweets and toys for Billy and Sally and bolts of expensive material to be made into dresses for all the girls. The fact that all these presents were stolen from the dock warehouse was swiftly banished from Kate’s befuddled mind. Yet still the image of him on the quay refused to go away.
‘Kate, you do understand, don’t you?’ Alex’s voice, soft and persuasive, beat down on her. She had to get some sleep. She couldn’t concentrate just now; couldn’t think straight.
‘I’m going to bed, Alex,’ she said tiredly. ‘We’ll talk more tomorrow.’
Instantly Alex was on his feet, and he spoke with extreme concern. ‘Of course, but you mustn’t go down there again, it isn’t safe. Promise me, Kate, promise me you’ll never go to the docks again.’
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