by Troy Neenan
Now, he was being forced to play yet another one in real life.
Annoyed, David played the game.
A 3D representation of the junkie’s brain popped up in the Dungeon Core's vision. The brain was segmented into colour coded territories showing what the brain processed. The entire organ pulsed and fluctuated as if it were a lava lamp, showing zones that almost blazed while other parts remained in utter darkness.
Compared to the Forge with its circuit board style artwork, Brain Scan reminded David of a strange mix of Operation, minesweeper, and a voodoo doll. There didn't appear to be a goal to this game, just an odd looking screensaver.
“Come on already,” the junkie growled.
David exited out of the game and looked down in disgust at the creature trying to pump the life out of him. It looked like Gollum was trying to eat his dick off. He stepped back, and one of the woman's teeth nicked his dick, drawing less than a drop of blood.
It was a good thing that David's studies had taught him how to kill his own pain sensors, because he probably would have howled and dropped to his knees.
“What the fuck is wrong with... Ahh.” The junkie fell back against the wall, her withered hands clutching her pregnant stomach. She shuddered and groaned in discomfort.
From out of the corner, the female's partner got off of his urine soaked mattress. “Hey, what are you doing to my girl?”
David found it interesting that the drugged out arsehole didn't seem to mind that his girlfriend was giving a stranger a public blowjob. The Dungeon Core looked to the exit, contemplating running for his life.
The boyfriend didn't bother to wait for the shit head in the hoodie to give an answer; he grabbed his trusty cricket bat and took a swing at the freak that was assaulting his girl without his permission. Again, the Dungeon Core was introduced to the edge of a cricket bat. In all honesty, he would have preferred an email instead of a face to face meeting.
A normal human would have fallen, or possibly died, but the Dungeon Core was made out of harder stuff. David righted himself just in time for the junkie to come back for another swing.
Having just been hit in the head, mugged, and molested by something out of a zombie movie and having gotten hit in the head again by this fucktard, David was getting pissed off.
Not thinking, the Dungeon Core caught the junkie's bat before it could bludgeon him a fourth time. The two stood there, both parties holding onto the weapon.
The junkie looked at his girlfriend's assailant and believed that he was looking at some idiot with a rubber mask, the Dungeon Core's features stretched out and his cheeks looking more like folds of fat. David's eyes looked to be the only part that David took any pride in recreating.
“I’m going to take your fucking head off.” The junkie promised, his breath reeking of old shoes and tainted meat.
Not sure what to do and not wanting to have his brains smeared across the walls, David did the only thing he could. He played a game, and not knowing what would happen, lost on purpose.
The wooden bat disintegrated as its molecular structure was broken apart. The junkie, shocked at having his prized tool suddenly turning into a pile of ash, didn't have time to swear in disbelief as he and the Dungeon Core collided.
Wrapping his foe into a bear hug, David brought up the Forge game again. This time a zap of condensed pain shot through the Dungeon Core like a buzz-saw.
Warning. You are performing an illegal manoeuvre.
This was new. David had not come across this message before. Also, since he had learned how to shut it out there hadn't been any real pain before. He guessed that you couldn't do Forge on living tissue. That sucked.
The junkie brought his elbows onto David's back, “Get off of me, you freak.”
David squeezed his teeth together. The message had said illegal, not can't. As in it was illegal to go down a one-way road, it was illegal to download music, it was illegal to fucking end this arsehole. Meaning that it was doable, it was just being stubborn.
“Fuck it.” David said and squeezed his eyes shut. He tried bringing up Forge again and again, each time the warning system nailing hard. He didn't know how this stuff worked but he was willing to crash this game shit.
The warning system flashed multiple times and the Dungeon Core felt a stream of blood dribble down his nose as the pain transformed from a mild irritant into a migraine. Finally, the game opened.
You have unlocked new material. Polyester.
Damn. David thought. He must have targeted the bum's clothes.
David felt his back smashing into the wall, the junkie may have been as healthy as a scarecrow and just as intelligent, but he had the strength of somebody who didn't give a shit. It also didn't help that David's bleeding dick was hanging out.
On the ground, the junkie's ugly girlfriend was writhing in pain, and from the corner of his eye, the Dungeon Core saw that the woman's stomach had grown from a simple bump to a full on beer keg. The woman's skin went from a greasy white to something akin to old battered parchment; her terrified eyes sank back into her head and what little hair that she had fell off her bony scalp. In seconds, she went from zombie junkie into a mummy as the life was literally drained from her body and was pumped into her womb.
With lips peeled back showing her festering mouth, she let out a hacking cough which could have been a cry for help or a scream of pain and terror.
That was when David felt it. That one drop of blood that had touched the woman's tongue had mingled with the unborn foetus, entering its body and becoming a part of it. He could feel the unborn human stretch out its fingers.
The child was a girl, though how he knew that was a mystery.
Sensing that this stranger was hurting one of their own, more of the stoners rose onto their feet.
Distracted by the thing that was growing right next to him, David was unprepared as a box knife went into his side. Then the crowd was on him.
The boyfriend stomped on David's head repeatedly and only stopped when a hand grabbed his shoulder. He spun around, fist flying and struck an aboriginal man in the jaw. His blood boiling from the drugs and the fight, he kicked the dark skinned man and laughed.
The Dungeon Core weathered the blows. He could do nothing against the hysterical dickheads who were trying to turn his head into a deflated soccer ball. He wasn't strong, he didn't know how to fight, David just crawled into a ball and took it.
You have unlocked a new mini-game. Minion Spawn, the Card Game.
You have unlocked. Multiplayer...
David missed the next part as somebody stabbed him with a needle. He hoped that it was empty. With no escape plan he did the only thing that he could, David entered the game world, leaving the junkies who were using him as an outlet for their messed up lives.
The itch to learn abruptly stopped.
David found himself sitting at a poker table; the world around him was dark and covered in wisps of green smoke. He could not feel the blows that were raining down upon him, and he could not smell the tang of sweat and despair.
“What the hell was I thinking?” he asked himself.
David recalled it all. He remembered the thermite exploding into his face and thinking that it was a shame that he had wasted all that metal, it was nuts. Then the stuff with the hospital and growing his hands back...
Fear smacked David across the head, and the Dungeon Core immediately checked his hands and face. He nearly cried. His hands were all red and looked as though several layers of skin had been stripped free. They were as stiff as steel wire and they felt lumpy. His face was worse and imagined it being something out of Hellraiser.
He sunk to his knees as a fresh wave of sorrow smashed into him. He wanted to cry but his tear ducts had been unsuccessfully restored. Dungeon Cores had no need for tears.
Then, sensing movement out in the mists, David raised his head. As far as he was concerned, if some monster wanted to come and kill him than it was welcome to.
From out of the smo
ke a woman dressed in low cut dress drew herself towards the table. Her skin was as dark as coal and she was nearly bald except for a single braid which she wrapped around her neck like a noose. She seemed just as unused to her surroundings as he did.
David noticed the woman's apple sized breasts which somehow didn't pop out from her rather revealing dress. As she glided towards the table, her dress moved this way and that, never quite showing that hint of a nipple.
She closed the distance and spoke harshly to the man who sulked before her, “You piece of shit, you dare challenge me to a duel?”
Tearing his gaze away from the newcomer's teasing bust, David looked up and saw that the woman was not happy with him. It was the typical story of his life. “Who are you?” he choked, still not yet over feeling sorry for himself.
“I am Killo'zeri' Cract. The death jewel of Yol. And you,” She leaned in so both their noses nearly touched and sneered, “have declared war upon me.”
The woman was clearly upset and mentally disturbed, though she did know how to work that cleavage.
Already tired of this bitch's nonsense, David glared back, “I didn't declare anything. I'm currently getting the shit kicked out of me by a bunch of homeless drug addicts. I just got into this game to... I don't know.”
The woman looked upon this place of shifting fog and darkness, “Foolishness. You challenge me while you are already in the grips of battle? I demand to know what this place is! I do not recognize it.” She looked at her hand and flinched, “What is this? Explain now. And why is your penis out?” Killo'zeri' Cract seemed more amused than scared and appalled, being reminded of a cute little chipmunk waving a stick at a wolf.
“What are you... Oh.” David followed her gaze downward and saw that his fly was open and his dick was hanging out. All in all he had better first impressions with women.
Chapter Eleven
Well that had been weird. For some reason David had felt that the scan had been interrupted.
Checking the clock on the computer, the dungeon could not help but utter “Shit.” as he gazed at the display in wonder. While the other scans had lasted only a few days at the most, it appeared that that last one took five weeks straight to perform.
The coins had been easy enough to scan. On the theory setting it had taken nearly an entire day to research each of the coins, and for his troubles David had gotten himself a new upgrade and some new wiki entries.
The bonuses had only increased when he switched his research to the practical studies. He was now able to fully recreate an entire set of armour and a sword using dungeon points. He couldn't yet summon them as they were under the treasure menu, but that was just something for the future David to worry about.
What he was most interested in was what he had managed to discover during the scan of the basic armour. Somehow, and David had no clue as to how or why, he had managed to learn how to make thermite.
The problem was that while making the iron was a tad tricky, making purified aluminium was like getting your nuts put into a vice. The metal was crazy expensive, with grams costing thousands of DP to produce.
Feeling confident, which never went well for him, David had selected the obsession button and clicked on the Temper ring. Which was how he got into the position that he was in now. Nearly four entire weeks for a ring. Yes it was a relic but that was five weeks that he could have spent making a second swarm golem or refining his buildings.
He looked at his messages, hoping that nothing big happened.
To: david@dungeon
Subject: While you were gone
Dear David.
While you were scanning magical ring Temper, all life except your insects perished.
Your raiding party was successful.
Your raiding party was successful.
Your raiding party was unsuccessful.
Your raiding party has brought back the following items.
1 empty beer can.
4 kilograms of plant fibre.
14 unknown animal bones.
1 cigarette butt.
5 parrot feathers.
6 shards of glass.
479 dead insects.
1 food wrapper.
3 kilograms of unknown animal dung.
You gained 20 DP
You have lost 600 ants
You have unlocked new research.
Neurology.
Anatomy.
Brain waves.
Pain receptors.
Psychology.
Behaviour study.
Physics.
Astrology.
Magic tricks.
Know this. The traditional schools of magic do not exist in your realm. What this means to your dungeon only time will tell.
You have unlocked the following mutations.
Tormented.
Pain scale.
Abusive.
Occult skin.
You have unlocked the following upgrades.
Storage converter 1.
You have made your first room.
Before David could begin to understand what this all meant another prompt appeared.
Quest completed. Discover new mutations I.
Reward. 0.1% chance of a random mutation appearing in newborns within your domain.
Quest alert. Discover mutations II
Learn 15 new mutations. 5/15
Reward. Better chance of discovering random mutations in newborn minions.
David had no idea where to begin with this. He should have been pissed off that his snakes had all died while he had been off in La La Land, but he was just so overwhelmed. He had just pushed on the ring for a laugh, hoping that maybe he could transform his berserker ability into something useful.
He hadn't expected to be out of commission for five weeks. The amount of new upgrades were fantastic but it was a long time for anything to happen. David got out of his chair and let out a huge stretch, “Shit that was a long time.” he sat back down and began to sort through his new upgrades.
Metallurgy.
Allows you to create, transform, and manipulate metals that you know using DP or resources.
Cost: 10 DP.
Storage Conversion I.
Gives more dungeon points when recycling resources.
Cost 50 DP.
He had gotten the metallurgy right after scanning the copper coin, but at that time it had cost over 120 dungeon points, then it turned to 100 when he scanned the silver. It was only when David scanned the iron armour that the cost dropped to fifty.
The more that he knew about something didn't just unlock new things, it also changed the cost. Hopefully, if he researched enough items it would get to the point that the cost would be negligible.
But after being out of commission for five weeks, the dungeon wasn't in the mood to scan the other items. Something had gone wrong with the last time and David didn't want to spend another month sleeping. Afraid that the upgrade would disappear if he didn't get it fast enough, he clicked on the Storage Conversion I.
Then he blacked out.
When David opened his eyes he found that his surroundings had changed. It was still the security room that he knew and was beginning to truly loathe, but it seemed different somehow, was it bigger? He turned his head and saw something new.
His ironic coffee pot had disappeared, and while its departure was a loss, David had gotten himself something better. It was one of those do it yourself cappuccino machines that you saw in service stations.
David was already to drop to his knees and pray to the beautiful thing. However, instead of prostrating himself before the device, the dungeon's avatar ran to the machine and began inspecting it.
The first thing he noticed first was the display which read, GROUND UP GOODNESS.
David shook his head. Looking through the selection he found that the flavours all came with different costs.
Water. 2 storage points.
Hot water. 3 storage points.
Milk. 4 storage points.
Tea. 5 storage points.
Espresso. 20 storage points.
Cappuccino. 30 storage points.
Short latte 40 storage points.
Tall Latte. 50 storage points.
Hot chocolate. 60 storage points.
The instructions on the sign next to the machine indicated that for each point of storage, David would get 0.4 DP. It wasn't great, but it was a better system than what he had before. Now he might be able to have a drink without needing to measure each sip.
David returned to his seat, planning on moving a few items to his junk pile. He needed a real shot of caffeine bad.
The talk about there not being magic in his neighbourhood wasn't a surprise to the dungeon. He guessed that was the reason that the douchebag's ring hadn't worked in the first place. No magic, no protection. What bothered him was how the hell butterfly was able to disguise herself when there was no magic around her. There was also the thought about how the dungeon came to exist in the first place.
David pushed those thoughts away. What mattered now was coffee. He moved the knights and their armour over to the junk pile. “I'm going to slurp down some pedos...” he winced as he heard his own words, “Wait, that came out wrong. Okay, glad that no one was around to hear that.”
Before he went back to the coffee machine he looked at his new upgrades.
New upgrades available.
Storage Conversion II.
Improves the conversion ratio of recycling resources into dungeon points.
Cost: 1000 DP.
Metal converter I.
Your knowledge of metals allows you to recycle metal resources for more dungeon points.
Cost: 20 DP.
Magic converter.
You are unable to use magical items and creatures to their fullest, but it doesn't mean they are worthless. Deconstruct magical resources for extra DP.
Cost: 150 DP.
Well this is fun. David thought as he read the new upgrades. It looks like he had a dilemma before him. He wanted to get conversion upgrade but that was a long term solution to a problem that he had now. He looked at his current junk pile.