by Lynn, Sandi
“Sounds good. I’m sure he’ll like that.”
“Just let me know. Here’s the file for the Clarence case. Do me a favor and look it over and see if I missed anything.”
“Will do, Elijah.”
He walked to the door, stopped and turned around.
“Have fun tonight, Allison, and have a good weekend.”
“I will, Elijah. You too. I’ll see you on Monday.”
* * *
I got held up at the office and didn’t get home until fifteen minutes before Nathan was to arrive. So, I stopped at the Indian place around the corner and picked us up some food. When I got home, I quickly changed into something more comfortable, touched up my makeup and ran a brush through my hair.
It was seven o’clock on the dot when there was a knock at my door. Opening it, a smile crossed my lips when I saw Nathan standing there looking as sexy as ever.
“Hey there,” I reached up and brushed my lips against his.
“Hey yourself.” His hands gripped my hips.
“Come in. I stopped on the way home and picked up some food from that Indian place around the corner. I got held up at the office.”
“You should have let me know. I would have picked it up.”
“It was on the way home. No big deal.”
I pulled down two plates as Nathan went into the drawer and grabbed the silverware.
“Beer or wine?” I asked opening the refrigerator.
“Beer sounds good.”
I grabbed two bottles and took them over to the table where we sat down and began to eat. We talked about our day. I wanted to wait until after dinner to have my talk with him. I was nervous as hell and I wasn’t sure how I was going to start the conversation.
“Did I tell you what Ruby said to me?” I spoke as I placed the dishes in the dishwasher.
“I don’t think so. What did she say?”
“She told me that she wouldn’t mind if we dated. Do you believe that?” I turned and looked at him with a smile.
“Really? She said that?”
“For her to say that is a big deal. It seems you have charmed your way into her life.”
“What did you tell her?”
“I said we were friends.”
“Good. That’s good.” I noticed a nervousness in his voice.
Something was off with him tonight, and I sensed it the minute he walked through the door. I needed to just come out and tell him how I felt.
“There’s something I need to talk to you about, Allison.”
“There’s something I need to talk to you about as well. Me first.” I walked over and took hold of his hand. “A year ago after Jared passed away, I never thought I’d met anyone again. I loved him so much and I didn’t think it was possible for me to ever love anyone else. But then I met you and as hard as I tried to resist you, I couldn’t. Nathan, you gave life to the part of me that died the day Jared passed away. The part of me I never thought would feel again.”
“Allison, stop.” He pulled away.
“What? What’s wrong?”
Chapter 39
Nathan
I couldn’t believe this. I came here tonight to tell her that we couldn’t see each other anymore and there she stood practically telling me that she loved me.
“I can’t do this anymore. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. God, this shouldn’t be this hard.” I rubbed the back of my neck as I paced around the room.
“Can’t do what, Nathan?”
I turned around and stared into her teary eyes which made it a thousand times worse.
“I like you, Allison. I really do. But we can’t keep doing this. Things are spinning out of control and this is the only way I know how to stop it. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. You don’t deserve it. I think it’s in both our best interest that we stop seeing each other.”
“If this is because of what I just told—”
“It has nothing to do with that. My mind was already made up before I walked through the door.”
She stared at me as a tear rolled down her cheek.
“Why? Why are you doing this?” she shouted.
“You want the damn truth, Allison?” I raised my voice at her. “Because I’m mad at you. I’m fucking mad.”
“Why? What did I do to make you so angry?” Another tear fell from her eyes.
“You made me care. That’s what you did. You made me care about you and you made me care about your little girl. I told you that I don’t do relationships. No matter how good things are or how in love you are, the other person could always just lose feelings for you and be gone just like that.” I snapped my fingers. “And something like that isn’t in any of our control. I made a mistake and I shouldn’t have let it go on.”
“Get out,” she spoke in a calm tone.
“Allison, please—”
“God, I feel like such an idiot. I should have known better in the first place. What did I expect? This is what you do, and this is who you are. Men like you don’t change. You’re not a man, Nathan Wolfe, you’re a coward and a user. You had your fun with me and now it’s time to move on and seek out the next thrill.”
“Allison.” I slowly shook my head. “That is not true.”
“Don’t you dare lie to me,” she shouted as she pointed her finger. “Get out of my fucking apartment right now!”
“I’m so sorry. I truly am.”
“GET OUT!” she screamed as the tears flowed down her face.
I walked out of her apartment and headed to the elevator. My heart was racing, and a sickness formed in the pit of my stomach. The minute I stepped into my apartment, I picked up the bottle of scotch and started drinking it until I passed out.
* * *
Allison
I threw myself on the bed and cried as I curled into a ball. My heart was shattered, and the pain was too much to deal with. Was this my punishment for trying to move on?
“Haven’t I suffered enough?” I shouted as I stared up at the ceiling. “Wasn’t it enough for you to take my husband away from me? What the fuck did I ever do that was so wrong to deserve this in my life?”
I forced myself to get up and change into my pajamas. Climbing back into bed, I stayed there and cried until I fell asleep.
The next morning as I struggled to open my swollen eyes, I picked up my phone and looked at the time. It was ten o’clock and there was a text message from my brother Rick.
“Hey, sis. We’ll be dropping Ruby off around five o’clock.”
“Thanks, Rick. I’ll be here.”
Ruby. How was I going to tell her that she won’t be seeing Nathan around anymore? She was going to be devastated and once again, her little heart would be broken. What the hell was I going to say? Humiliation soared through me. I should have let him talk first. Not that it wouldn’t have made a difference. The only difference would’ve been that I wouldn’t have given him the satisfaction of telling him how I felt. Oh my God, I was such an idiot. I took in a deep breath, got myself out of bed and took a shower for I needed to go grocery shopping before Ruby got home. As much as I didn’t want to leave my apartment, I had no choice.
Chapter 40
Nathan
I awoke to someone knocking on my door. Picking up my phone to check the time, I had several text messages from Mason.
“Bro, I thought we were meeting at the gym. I’m here and you’re not.”
“Seriously? The least you could have done was tell me you weren’t coming.”
“Bro, it’s been two hours and I haven’t heard from you. Douchebag.”
“It’s two p.m. This isn’t like you. I’m coming over and you better answer the damn door.”
I sighed as I struggled to get out of bed. Walking to the door, I opened it, turned away and headed to the kitchen.
“Jesus Christ,” Mason said. “Are you hungover or something?”
He stepped inside and picked up the empty bottle of scotch off the floor.
“Na
than, what is going on?”
I reached in the cabinet and picked up the bottle of aspirin.
“I fucked up. That’s what’s going on.”
“What the hell happened last night? Go sit down. I’ll make you some coffee.”
“I went to Allison’s last night to tell her that I didn’t want to see her anymore, but before I could, she pretty much told me that she’s in love with me and wanted to take things further.”
“Shit. I knew this was going to happen. So after she professed her love to you, you told her it was over?”
“Yeah.” I placed my hand on my aching head.
“How did she take it?” He set the coffee mug down in front of me.
“How the hell do you think she took it? She was crying, angry, upset. It killed me to see her like that. She told me that I was nothing but a coward and a user and now that I’d had my fun with her it was time to seek out the next thrill. Then she threw me out of her apartment.”
“Damn.” He slowly shook his head. “Did you do the right thing? Honestly, Nathan, did you?”
“Yeah. I did. Things were getting out of control. I was spending a lot of my time with her and Ruby, and I was only making it worse.”
“Worse for who? You or them?”
“Them, of course.” I looked up at him.
“Are you sure about that? Listen, bro, I love you, but I think you’re an idiot. I’ve seen you with Allison and it wasn’t just a casual fling. No matter how much you tried to convince yourself it was, it wasn’t. The way you looked at her was completely different than the way you look at other women. You invested your time with her and Ruby, and you don’t do shit like that. No one has ever made you do that. Hell, you’re probably even in love with her and that’s why you’re so freaked out.”
“It doesn’t matter. What’s done is done. She’ll get over it. She’s a strong woman.”
“She just got over her husband’s death and now she has to deal with this?”
“What the hell do you want me to do?” I slammed my fist on the table as I got up from my chair.
“I want you to be real with yourself,” he shouted. “Own the truth, bro. Just fucking own the truth. You broke it off because you’re scared. You’re scared of loving someone other than your family. Because in the end, you’re scared you’re going to be just like Dad.”
“His blood runs through us, Mason.”
“Yeah. I know that, and I wish to God it didn’t. But how long are we going to let him and his actions control our lives? Elijah didn’t.”
“Elijah’s weak.”
“No, bro. You’re the weak one. We both are,” he softly voiced as he lowered his head. “I have to go. I need to run by the station.” He got up from his chair. “You better pray to God Elijah doesn’t find out about this because I don’t know if I can save you this time.”
* * *
Allison
Ruby had been asking about Nathan all weekend. She wanted to see him, and I had to lie and tell her he was busy. Every time we left the apartment, I was paranoid that we were going to run into each other. Because if we did, Ruby would know something was going on. How long was I going to be able to keep this from her? She was a smart kid and she’d figure it out sooner or later. Damn it. This wasn’t just about me. How could I have been so selfish? My job as a mother was to protect my daughter, and I failed because I let my guard down.
It was Monday morning and after dropping Ruby off at school, I headed to the office. The knot in my stomach was as tight as it could get and the ache in my heart hurt like a bitch. I had a hard time controlling the tears but managed to stop them from flowing when Ruby was around. I didn’t need her seeing me like that.
“Morning, Bailey,” I spoke as I headed into my office.
“Good morning, Allison. Elijah asked to see you in his office.”
“Okay. I’ll go down in a second.”
Great. Did Nathan tell Elijah everything? Is that why he wanted to see me? How the hell was I going to face him without breaking down? I took in a deep breath and headed to his office.
“You wanted to see me, Elijah?”
“Allison, Good morning. Come on in and shut the door. Have a seat.” He gestured. “I have a new case for you. But first, how was your date on Friday night?” he asked with a smile.
That was it. That question was all it took for me to turn into a blubbering idiot in front of my boss.
“It didn’t go so well,” I softly spoke as I lowered my head and a few tears started to fall.
“Oh God, Allison.” He got up from his seat and walked over to me. “I’m sorry.” He pulled a tissue from the box on his desk and handed it to me.
“Thanks. But don’t be. I was the one who was stupid and let my guard down when I knew better.”
“You’re not stupid, Allison. You met someone you thought could potentially fill the void in your life. There’s nothing wrong with that. Sometimes things work out and sometimes they don’t. I know you don’t want to hear this right now, but there are plenty of guys out there that would kill to date you. You’re a beautiful woman and you’re smart. Don’t let one douchebag who can’t see what’s in front of him hurt you. It’s his loss and someone else’s gain.”
If only he knew that douchebag was his own brother.
“Thanks, Elijah. But there won’t be anybody else for a very long time. I’ve learned my lesson.”
“Allison. Don’t let one rotten apple spoil it for the rest of the good apples.”
I looked up at him and couldn’t help but let out a light laugh.
“I know. It’s cheesy, right? But it’s true. The good guys outweigh the douchebag ones. Don’t forget this Saturday night is the fundraising gala the firm puts on every year. If you need a babysitter for Ruby, our nanny would be more than happy to watch her while she’s with Mila.”
“Thanks. Ruby is going to be with Jared’s parents this weekend. They’re taking her to Long Island so she can play with her cousins.”
“Okay. Just thought I’d throw the offer out there.”
“Thanks for the pep talk.” I got up from my chair and took the file folder on his desk. “
“Do you need to take the day off? I’ll understand if you need to.”
“No. I’m okay. I just need to keep busy.” I gave him a small smile.
Chapter 41
Allison
On the way home from work, I stopped and picked up a pizza for dinner. I’d decided that I needed to tell Ruby that Nathan wouldn’t be coming around anymore. I couldn’t keep it from her any longer and the more time that went by, the worse it would be. I needed to be honest with her, to an extent.
“Yay. You brought home pizza!” Ruby exclaimed as she ran to me the moment I stepped through the door.
“I got your favorite.” I smiled as I set the box on the island.
After saying goodbye to my Mom, I grabbed two paper plates and set them on the table.
“How was your day?” I asked her.
“It was okay. We’re having career day next week and I’m going to ask Nathan if he’d come and speak to my class about being a pilot.” She beamed with excitement.
I took in a deep breath before crushing my little girl and her heart.
“Listen, Ruby. I don’t know if Nathan will be able to do that.”
“Why?”
I swallowed the lump that was stuck in my throat.
“Nathan won’t be coming around anymore. We decided we shouldn’t be friends anymore.”
“Why?” She looked down in disappointment. “Did you get into a fight?”
“A small one.”
“About what?”
“Just grown up stuff.” I could feel the sting in my eyes.
“Can’t you just make up? Friends get in fights all the time. You and Daddy fought sometimes, and you made up.”
“That was different. Daddy and I were married.”
“What was the fight about? I want to know,” she shouted. “You to
ld me that you would never keep things from me. You promised. You were happy when he was around. You stopped crying over Dad. What happened?” She stood up from her chair. “Just because you aren’t friends anymore doesn’t mean that I can’t be friends with him!” she yelled across the table and I lost it.
“He doesn’t want to see us anymore, Ruby! He’s the one who came here and told me. He said things were getting out of control and he needed to put an end to it.” No matter how hard I tried to hold it together, I couldn’t do it anymore.
Ruby walked over to me and placed her hands on each side of my face.
“Why would he do that?” she asked in soft voice.
“I don’t know, sweetheart. He obviously has some personal issues, and if that’s the case, then we’re better off without him in our lives.” A tear rolled down my cheek.
“He hurt you.” She wrapped her arms around my neck.
“He hurt my heart. That’s all.”
“I’m sorry, Mom. I love you and I’m here for you.”
“I love you too, sweetie, and I know you are. You’ve been so strong through everything and I’m so proud of you.” I hugged her tight.
“It’ll be okay, Mom.”
“Thanks, sweetie. Listen, I have to attend a gala for the firm on Friday night and I need a new dress. How about we play hooky tomorrow from work and school, sleep in and go shopping and out to lunch?”
“Really?” She grinned.
“Yeah. Really.” I tapped her on the nose.
“Elijah won’t mind?”
“No. I’ll text him and let him know.”
“Is it okay if I sleep with you tonight?” she asked.
“Of course it is. I’d love the company. In fact, let’s go get in our pajamas, climb in bed and watch a movie.”
“Okay!”
* * *
Two Weeks Later
Nathan
The past couple of weeks at work had me flying short trips. Short enough that it allowed me to come home every night, which I hated. This was definitely a time where I longed for flights that kept me out of New York. On Saturday, I had my mother’s gala I had to attend. I didn’t feel like going because I knew Allison would be there and I hadn’t seen or talked to her since that night. I knew it was a long shot, but I picked up my phone and called my mother.