That was a scary thought.
Erec watched Astrid tug on her boots. Should he tell her how he felt? Maybe then he could understand what was holding her back. But when he opened his mouth, no sound emerged.
He cursed his cowardice. Was he really still scared of being rejected?
Drawing in a deep breath, he tried again. “Astrid…”
She stood, her boots finally tied on her feet. Tilting her head to the side, she regarded him with a tender smile. “We should probably see what Filip plans to do next, since Claus is dead. Maybe there’s a way we can help.”
He swallowed his words, pushing them into the pit of his stomach. Maybe now wasn’t the best time to tell her.
Instead, Erec held the tent flap open and let her walk through first. The frigid winter air bit at his nose, cheeks, and ears like a dozen little pinpricks. Even with the bonfire alight close by, the wind whipped around them so fiercely, the heat couldn’t touch his skin. He adjusted the fur cape across his shoulders, thankful his wound was healing quicker than expected. If another fight with Jerrick was in the future, he would need to be at peak strength.
He believed the nightmare Astrid had awoken him from had been nothing more than the work of his wild imagination, but still, it had left a twisting in his gut after opening his eyes. He couldn’t remember the details besides what he had told Astrid—just a few flashes of faces along with the strong metallic scent of blood—but that didn’t ease the nagging sensation of the dream being intended as something more. Like a warning.
Erec followed Astrid around the campfire until they found Filip talking with two men Erec didn’t know. He looked up, seeing them, and whispered one last thing to the two before sending them off. Filip’s alpha spirit was stronger than the last time he’d been this close to him. Since Boden had given up his title, Filip’s aura pulsed around him like a heartbeat.
“There you two are,” he said. Although they had washed the scent of sex off their skin, the suspicious look Filip gave them hinted that he knew what had kept them so late. Embarrassment colored Astrid’s freckled cheeks, but her brother grinned. At least Erec didn’t have to worry about a protective brother not approving a relationship between them. Then again, at this point, he was probably just glad there was a chance of his sister surviving the Blue Moon.
“I have a surprise for you, Ash,” he said.
“A surprise?” She perked up at that. “Should I be scared?”
Filip laughed. “No, I think you’ll like this one.” He beckoned them to follow. Erec stayed behind the brother and sister as they walked, watching the two of them banter and chuckle at jokes he didn’t know. It must have been nice to have a sibling, someone to share with. It was something he would never know for himself.
Erec tuned out their conversation as they strode past shelters of all shapes and sizes, as well as racks of salted meats, clothing lines, and fire pits and headed toward the very back of Svanna Rock. He had checked out this area yesterday, having been assigned one of the dwellings here. Then, only a few tents besides his own had been set up in this part of the clearing. Now, there was a crowd of about fifty men and women standing in the middle of the vast stretch, staring at the three of them as they approached.
What is this about?
Erec’s ears caught the last few words exchanged between Filip and Astrid.
“A messenger has been sent. We should hear back in a couple of days,” Filip said.
“Good,” she replied. “We’ll need all the help we can get.”
A messenger… Erec guessed that meant Filip had sent someone to another pack in hopes of finding support in their upcoming battle with Jerrick’s army. But the issue was that all of the surrounding packs had already been taken over by Jerrick, at least from Erec’s knowledge. Even Rohan’s in the north had been wiped out months ago. Filip could have been sending a messenger to Finnigan’s or Linus’s packs, since they were so far up the northeast point and there was a better chance Jerrick hadn’t reached them yet, but still, their numbers were small. Not to mention that by the time his messenger returned from visiting either of them, the Blue Moon would have passed. Erec doubted Jerrick would wait that long before attempting an ambush.
Right when Erec was about to ask for Filip to explain further, Astrid let out a high-pitched squeal of delight, stealing his question away.
“Is this…? Are we…?” she gasped.
That’s when Erec caught sight of the deadly weapons in every man and woman’s hands, along with the several large canvas targets lining the stone wall. Racks of spears sat off to the side, and beside it was a table covered in arrows and various axes and swords. The empty strip of snowy land had been transformed into a training field.
“You’re allowing women to join, too?” Astrid asked, her voice an excited shrill.
“You were right,” Filip began, smiling broadly. “I was surprised by the amount of women who wanted to train and fight.”
She gave him a smug nod. “Told you.”
Women training with weapons? Erec wasn’t sure what to think about that. He’d never seen a woman with the skills and the vigor needed to fight—well, besides Astrid. Even when Jerrick had attacked Mikel’s pack, most of the women ran for protection with their children. All that blood and pain and death. War had always been a man’s game. It wasn’t a place for females.
Yet, at least half of the crowd was made up of women.
And they did appear intimidating. With war paint darkening their eyes and their weapons glinting in the sunlight, they were just as threatening and dangerous as the men among them.
In the end, it won’t matter who it is that kills you, will it? Man or woman. Whoever was on the other end of the sword wouldn’t change the outcome. Dead was dead. And that gave Erec an interesting idea.
“This may work in our favor,” he said, coming to Filip’s side. “Jerrick won’t expect women in our ranks. It’ll give us a number advantage, too, if we can get more to train and fight.”
Astrid glanced up at her brother, her smile radiating. “I know a lot of other ladies who’d like to defend their pack. Some with amazing skills.”
Hope flooded Erec, his pulse speeding. His words rushed as the possibility of stopping Jerrick and his men became more realistic. “Jerrick works with the element of surprise, so if we can get the jump on him for once, we have a chance of winning.”
“Yes, yes!” Astrid shook her fist in triumph. “We can train every day. It’ll work!”
Filip, though, didn’t seem to share in Erec or his sister’s enthusiasm. His dark gaze revealed his apprehension. So did his tone. “We’ll have to see how it goes.”
He was still unsure about the idea of women fighting. Women at home, nursing babies and tending to the meals; men in the battlefield, fighting for their safety. That’s the way it always had been with their kind. The men were the warriors, and the females were the nurturers, so Erec understood where Filip’s hesitance was coming from. But from the amount of women who had come out to train, it was apparent they were ready for that to change.
Astrid’s annoyance twitched through the pack link. She clenched her fists at her sides. “We shouldn’t fight just because we shouldn’t, not because we can’t? That doesn’t make sense. If we can help defeat Jerrick, what does it matter what I have between my legs?”
“That’s how it’s always been,” Filip said, but his expression turned more thoughtful, considering her words.
“You let me train with you to humor me, and look what happened. I fought off three of Jerrick’s men, killing one of them.” Astrid gestured to the group before them. It was then that Erec noticed Stefan’s mother toward the back of the crowd with a short sword in her hands. She looked almost unrecognizable with the black makeup smeared across her cheeks and forehead. “They want to fight. Let them.”
Filip’s gaze swung to Erec. “You really think we’d have a chance against Jerrick?”
He nodded. “Jerrick doesn’t show mercy to women and
children. He’ll slaughter anyone in his way,” he replied. “More numbers on our side can’t hurt us. I think, with the lot of us, we have a shot.”
Filip paused, his hand scrubbing his hairless chin in mock thought. Erec had a suspicion he wasn’t really considering their idea; he’d already made up his mind. He was doing it to draw out the moment and see how far he could push his sister’s patience.
Astrid huffed noisily, and he chuckled.
“All right, Ash,” he said finally, his voice still tinged with laughter. “You proved me wrong before. What’s not to say they will, too?”
Astrid jumped onto her tiptoes and planted a kiss on her brother’s cheek. Her happiness bloomed all around her, tickling Erec’s own aura. “They’ll surprise you. Promise.” She strode into the crowd, the men and women greeting her with slaps on the back and words of welcome. Erec stayed back with Filip, a grin spreading on his lips.
“She’s something else, isn’t she?” Filip said as they watched Astrid divide the group of fifty into smaller ones and discuss directions. Boy, did Erec know that statement to be true. Astrid was always pushing the limits; it was one of the many things he admired about her. Even if it grated on his nerves sometimes.
Filip crossed his arms. “You’d think I would know by now not to doubt her.”
Erec stayed quiet. He couldn’t keep his eyes off Astrid. A slow burn was building in his chest as he continued to observe her instruct the eager women on how to hold their bows and aim their arrows at the targets set up paces away. She glanced his way briefly, giving him a shy smile, and flames erupted behind his ribs.
By Vallor’s light, he loved her. There was no escaping it.
Filip’s strong hand came down on Erec’s shoulder, pulling him out of his thoughts.
“Welcome to the pack, Erec,” he said and shook him a little before walking toward his sister and the others.
Letting out a content sigh, Erec followed, knowing that finally, he had everything in his life he’d always wanted—a pack to call home, a life beyond his twenty-fifth Blue Moon, and his true mate, the one destined for him. Astrid.
Now, if only he could be sure she felt the same way.
Chapter Fifteen
The days went by without a sign of Jerrick and his men, and the quietness allowed the west-side pack to reach a sense of normalcy. Despite the lull and daily routine, the possibility of an impending battle still loomed in the back of Astrid’s mind. The stretch of nothingness only heightened her anxiety, and every morning, when she awoke, the prickle of coming danger crept up and down the back of her neck. Things may have been calm now, but something big was heading for them, as fierce and terrifying as a blizzard.
Erec hadn’t lowered his guard, either. When Filip had suggested training sessions be moved to every other day, Erec protested. According to him, they needed every minute they could get preparing, and Astrid agreed with him. When the clash with Jerrick finally did happen, she wanted their pack to be more than ready. She wanted to win.
As the largest and oldest pack of their kind, they were the last defense against Jerrick’s army. If it didn’t stop with the west-side pack, Jerrick would be too powerful. Taking out any of the other smaller, remaining packs would be effortless.
It had to end here.
So every evening at sunset, Astrid would meet Erec at his tent near the back of Svanna Rock, and together they would walk over to the training field and help Filip run drills. The late hour allowed her, Erec, and the other men and women still marked with the curse to train in both their human and wolf forms. Per Erec’s suggestion, they needed to learn how to fight with their teeth and their weapons, just in case a battle called for one over the other. Or both. Being limited to one set of skills could hurt them, and when facing a foe as conniving and tactical as Jerrick, it was best to be ready for anything.
Astrid would never tell Filip this outright, but she had been surprised when she’d seen the two dozen female shifters join his male ranks on the first day of training. She hadn’t expected that many women to be interested. A few, yes, but not close to half the group. As the days wore on, Astrid realized twenty-four wasn’t even close to the final number of participants. As the news spread around the camp, more women turned up for the sessions, some as young as fifteen Moons and others as old as sixty. Soon, the women surpassed the men in number, and in some cases, skill.
At first, she’d wondered what had drawn them out of their tents, away from their families, to the grueling training sessions. But after watching them the first day, Astrid recognized the fierce determination she saw in their eyes as they drew back their arrows or sparred with a partner. It mirrored her own, especially when she’d pushed Filip to let her join all those years ago. It was more than a drive to protect family and pack; there was a need to prove themselves as more than the delicate, naive roles custom had thrust upon them. Like her, these women wanted to be considered equals to their male counterparts. They wanted to show everyone—including themselves—they could be just as useful, just as strong.
And with every drill, that’s exactly what they did.
Along with their warrior numbers increasing, the pack had gotten more encouraging news. A messenger from Rohan’s pack had arrived that morning and had spoken to Filip. The man her brother had sent had stayed up north to rest before his trip back, but according to the young alpha’s messenger, Rohan wanted to join together against Jerrick, and over the next few days, he would be sending weapons and men to Filip.
Now, their pack had a real chance at beating Jerrick at his own game. With another twenty-five—or even fifty—men added to their ranks, they could do some damage. Maybe wipe out Jerrick’s army completely.
If Jerrick wanted a war, they were going to give him one.
Much to Astrid’s disappointment, Erec hadn’t spent the night with her again. But every once in a while, when they were alone and out of sight, he would surprise her with a caress or a kiss that would steal her breath away momentarily. It was enough to make her whimper for more, but as much as she wanted Erec to take her again, she didn’t push. With her feelings for him still a jumbled mess, maybe it was better they didn’t try for anything more again. Not until she sorted out what was really between them.
One late evening, as Astrid carried an armful of staffs and dull swords to the table at the end of the day’s training session, she spotted Erec standing off to the side, watching her intently. His dark blue gaze always left a trail of warmth across her skin, but this time, there was something else hovering in his eyes. Turmoil? Apprehension? Maybe it was a little bit of each. Whatever it was, it made her stomach turn in tight circles. To her, it looked as if he struggled with a secret, and it was becoming too heavy for him to hold on his own.
Was that the look her brother had been talking about? Why hadn’t she seen it before? And what did it mean?
Whenever Astrid reached across the pack bond, she would feel the same things she had when she and Erec had sex. Erec’s desire burned as strongly as it had that first night. His wolf’s need to claim her was a song her own animal couldn’t ignore. She even sensed the small hint of fear hidden underneath it all. But what confused her the most was that above these familiar sensations, there was something else entirely. A strange warmth that flourished and expanded, caressing her like the heat from a fire or the sun’s rays. She’d never experienced a sensation like this before, and it made her wonder…
Had Erec really fallen in love with her?
Her heart beat a little faster at the thought. How could he love her when she still didn’t know where her feelings lay? Maybe she had misread his expression. With Erec, it was very possible. Even with the pack bond between them, he was a mystery. They had been through so much together and still there were things about him she couldn’t place. And maybe she never would.
Astrid put away the last of the weapons before starting back toward her tent. Now that her adrenaline had settled back to a normal level, the ache in her muscles was rearing
up, bringing exhaustion with it. As much as she wanted to ask Erec what was wrong, the soreness in her arms and the tightness across her shoulders told her to leave it for another day. Everything hurt, and at that moment, she wanted nothing other than her bed.
As Astrid rounded the bonfire, the rumble of her father’s deep voice drew her to a stop. She couldn’t see him; he must have been behind his tent, but when she heard her mother’s name, her stomach dropped. He was muttering to Vallor again, trapped in one of his delusions.
Astrid crept around the tent and found him right where she had guessed he’d be. He stood there, boots planted in the snow, head tilted up to the cloudless sky. A litter of stars decorated the velvet blackness above them, twinkling like diamonds. Grief gripped her, making that old ache reclaim her chest. She debated leaving him, too afraid to see him lost again; it had burned such a hole in her last time, she didn’t think she was strong enough to feel that pain again. But before she could turn around, he called her name.
His eyes, though, remained locked on the north star. “Astrid, your mother has told me you think you’ve found your mate,” he said, and Astrid’s belly did a little flip. His dreamy gaze drifted to her. “In Erec. The rogue.”
Her voice stuck in her throat. Her father wasn’t really talking to her mother, but how did he know about her clashing thoughts and emotions? Had he noticed a change in her and Erec’s relationship, or had he sensed something through the pack bond? Maybe Filip said something to him.
It wasn’t so much his words that bothered her, but the way he said them. His tone was weighted with sadness, disappointment. Even if her father didn’t like Erec, he was the only chance she had of living past the next Blue Moon. He should have been able to see that over his dislike, yet his expression read of loss and turmoil still.
The Curse Page 16