Their eyes immediately met as she entered the room. He knew he was holding his breath, but it didn’t matter, because there was no air left to breathe in the surrounding area as he silently begged, Come to me, Lily. Come to me. She stood there for, what in a nanosecond, felt like an eternity, and he could see the deep conflict and ambivalence. She opened her mouth as if to silently tell him the past forty-eight hours hadn’t been a dream, their eyes still intently locked, each conveying a message the other did not understand. And then her head snapped to the left.
William had loudly called out her name and was waving at her, “Lily, over here,” as if he sensed the precipice upon which she was standing and in one swift, jerking motion pulled her back from the edge by the scruff of her neck.
Zac didn’t release her stare and she bit her bottom lip nervously, her brow furrowing deeply as if her turn to the left caused pain. He wasn’t sure if it was his pain or her pain she was feeling as she walked toward William’s table.
Gutted, he pushed his tray away, trying to will away the rising wave of nausea that was cresting in his throat.
By dinner’s end, Katje and Anneliese had joined Zac’s table and things seemed just as they always had been. But nothing would be as it ever had been. Sticking his hand in his pocket, he slipped the ring over the tip of his index finger. He could only push it down as far as the first joint, where he rubbed his thumb over the symbols as he pretended to listen to the various conversations at the table.
He knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he would be having sex with either Katje or Anneliese that night. The thought repelled him, but not quite as much as he was repulsed by himself. He would be taking the perfect weekend and finishing it off the way he always finished things off, by marring it, proving to himself, once again, that he was not capable or worthy of having a normal relationship.
She didn’t choose him. The vibe between them, he concluded, had all been in his head. Letting himself think anything else had been a foolish, foolish mistake.
Zac Moore left the dining hall that night, just as he had predicted, not alone and loathing himself.
Manual labor and long hours helped. Katje and Anneliese simultaneously helped and made it worse. Figuring out how to avoid her made it better, although stealing a glance when she didn’t see him was oddly comforting. He chose work sites that were the farthest away so that his time at camp would be minimized.
Intellectually he knew that the feelings of betrayal were unjustified, she wasn’t his, she hadn’t betrayed him. Yet, he couldn’t wrap his head around what had gone down and how off-base he’d been with his assessment of what was going on between them. Here he’d been, calculating his every move, planning on stealing her away from the other guy and he got played. The only thing that was stolen was his heart.
And that’s exactly where the rub appeared. Finding himself smack in the middle of a playing field he’d never stepped foot onto before, playing a game he had no familiarity with and learning rules on the fly, Zac Moore was involved in a heated competition where he had no game. The master had become a blindfolded neophyte.
Nearly two weeks had gone by and he had gotten himself into a work groove that demanded his focus, isolating issues in a system that had been left in a dire state of disrepair and needed a lot of hands-on TLC to once again become functional. Lying shirtless on the hard ground, face down, with his arm submerged in a hole as he felt for fissures in the line, the scent of Piña Colada suddenly wafted about his face. Breathing in deeply and getting a nose full of dust, he cursed his mind for haunting him with memories of what he missed.
Attempting to reach deeper, his shoulder cramped, “Son of a bitch,” he mumbled.
“Not having a good day?”
Shocked, he pulled his arm out of the hole in a jerking motion and looked up. Squinting into the bright noon sunlight, she appeared almost shadowed until his pupils adjusted and she came into focus.
“No, I just got a cramp in my shoulder,” he explained, shocked that she was there. What the hell is she doing here? he wondered.
“Let me help,” she sat down cross-legged next to him and began to massage his right shoulder. “Do I have the right spot?”
“A little lower and to the left.” He didn’t know if he couldn’t breathe because of the sharp pain in his shoulder or because her fingers were kneading his muscles. She was there and she was touching him.
“Ouch,” he tensed, “you got it. It feels like there’s a knife in my shoulder.”
“Just relax.” She continued to work the spot.
“Not likely that’s going to happen.” He could feel himself tensing with every knead of her hand.
“Try,” her voice was soft, but her touch remained firm.
Zac took a few deep breaths. “What are you doing here, Lily?” He turned to look at her.
“I’m going to be doing trainings in this village.” Lily’s specialty had become working with local villagers, teachers and clergy on safe water collection techniques and disinfecting, so that water sources did not continue to become recontaminated.
Zac just nodded, closing his eyes as she continued to work on his shoulder.
“I’m really looking forward to working with you, Zac.” She was now working his shoulder with both hands. “I’ve missed seeing you.”
“I’m sure William has kept you plenty busy, Lil.” You chose him, he screamed in his head. You were supposed to walk away with me.
“Yes, there’s so much to do.”
He wasn’t sure if she had intentionally ignored his barb or if it had just gone over her head.
“I’ll be here working with you for at least the next few weeks.” She continued working on his back, but had now moved to both shoulders, massaging them gently.
In that moment, it occurred to him that she had spent the last few weeks being very strategic in her behavior and had set this up. She was aware of what would have happened if William had thought she and Zac had hooked up that weekend. Between her going straight to William’s table that night and Zac being so scarce the last few weeks, Lily could make her move and she had. The girl has game, he smiled to himself.
As he turned to her, she stopped massaging his shoulders.
“It’s good to see you, Liliana.”
Her right hand remained on his back and he loved that she was still touching him.
“I’m glad we’re going to be spending time together, Zac.” Her eyes were locked in on his.
Finally, with a smile, “Me too. Really glad.”
And for the first time since that awful Sunday night, Zac felt the hope return that whatever it was between the two of them was real, that she felt it too that weekend and had done what she needed to do to make it possible to be with him.
Chapter Fourteen
En Route to Work Site
Congo, Africa
The path to the backend of the worksite was not only a prettier route, but also cut about fifteen minutes off the walk than taking the main dirt road into the village.
Zac and Lily had come up with landmarks along the way. The lone Baobab tree marked about the one-third point to the project site. At the halfway point, they passed a small grove of Molala palms on their right. Three-quarters of the way there, the path led to the back door of an abandoned blue shack. Around the front of the shack, they were able to pick up the rutted old dirt road into the village.
“So how old do you think that Baobab tree is?” Lily had asked the question every morning for the past ten days.
Zac’s answer differed every day. “At least 3,000 years old,” was today’s answer which he delivered with total authority.
“Nah, I don’t think it’s that old,” Lily disagreed.
Shoulder bumping her, “Damn, you’re ornery, woman.”
Bumping him back as hard as she could and not budging his muscular frame, “Not ornery, just right.”
Zac smiled, but kept looking straight ahead.
“What are you smiling at?” Lily a
sked, looking up at him as she attempted to keep up with his brisk pace.
“Not a thing.” The smirk remained on his face.
“Come on, tell me.” She bumped him again.
“You are such a little know-it-all brat.”
She pounded him in the bicep, hurting her hand more than she hurt him, “Ouch those things are hard. I’m not a brat, I’m just usually right.”
Zac lifted his sunglasses and looked down at her with an “Oh really?” look.
Shaking her head and laughing, “You are such a dick.”
Zac laughed, his handsome smile growing wide, “You’ve got that right.”
As they walked on passing the Molala palm grove, the blue sky started to cloud, the weather changing rapidly. The canopies of the Manilkara trees began to pick up the breeze, loudly rustling a warning to Zac and Lily of an impending storm blowing in from the eastern savanna. With an almost immediate drop in temperature, they knew a sudden squall would quickly be upon them.
“Wow, that’s blowing in fast.” Zac began to pick up the pace.
Struggling to keep up with his long legged strides, an out of breath Lily commented, “How far are we from that blue shack we always pass.”
“At least a half mile. I can’t see the turn in the path yet.” Zac didn’t like the look of the ominous storm clouds.
A radiant bolt of lightning slashed the sky in front of them producing an almost immediate ground shaking thunder clap. Lily jumped, letting out an involuntary scream. Slowing his pace, Zac turned to look back at her, extending a hand for her to grab.
As she slipped her hand into his, he quickened his pace again, taking her with him, her legs moving faster than she knew was physically possible.
Howling through the trees, the winds turned the Manilkara’s hard apricot-like fruit and small branches into dangerous projectiles. Large intermittent raindrops struck the leaves and ground with loud pings as they continued their attempt to make their way to shelter.
Turning back to her with a fantastic smile, “It’s a twister, Auntie Em.” Zac recited the classic line from The Wizard of Oz.
Lily laughed at his unexpected comment, but he never heard it as the sound was muffled by a too close for comfort bolt of lightning and the loud boom that ensued a nanosecond later.
And then the heavens opened up as a torrential rain fell upon them, immediately soaking them to the bone. Zac kept up the brisk pace, constantly turning around to check on Lily and to keep her from falling as the ground turned into slick mud under their feet.
The path curved and before them they could see the back of the blue shack and the dirt road to Malengo.
Lily was slowing up, her legs beginning to give out on her as her feet slipped in the mud.
“We’re almost there,” Zac urged as they made it the last hundred yards to the back of the shack. Circling to the front, Zac pushed open the brown wood door to the musty structure.
Once inside, a panting Lily put her hands on her knees, trying to catch her breath. “Oh my God,” was all she could say.
Looking around, Zac took a quick inventory, looking for something, anything, they could possibly use to dry themselves, but there was nothing. The abandoned shack had long been pillaged of any useful contents.
Pulling the satellite phone out of the pocket of his wet jeans, he pressed a few buttons, “Shit, the satellite’s down.” He wasn’t surprised, as he laid it down on the dry floor.
“Wow, so we can’t even let people know where we are.” Lily looked nervous.
“That’s some crazy shit out there,” and he pulled off the drenched tee shirt plastered to his skin. Twisting his shirt, he wrung out the excess water onto the floor in a corner of the hut, creating a small puddle and then hung the shirt on a nail protruding from the wall. “You should get the excess water out of your shirt.”
His suggestion was met with a look telling him she was not pleased at his proposal to remove her shirt.
“It’s never going to dry out if you don’t wring out the excess water. I’ll turn my back until you’re done and have it back on again.”
Lily nodded and Zac turned away smiling. Outside the torrents of rain continued to pound the small shack.
“Ok, you can turn back around now,” she advised.
The now see-through wet tee shirt clung to her curvy body, her darkened nipples hardened inside her soaked translucent bra.
“Oh yeah, that hides a lot.” Zac couldn’t help himself, his smile beaming.
Self-consciously, Lily crossed her arms over her chest. Realizing the ridiculousness of the situation, she began to laugh. “The worst part is, if this were a wet tee shirt contest, I’d lose to you.”
Looking down at his well-defined, muscular chest, Zac shrugged, a smug smile on his face. “I was working as a personal trainer at L9/NYC before I came here and digging trenches is definitely a workout on the guns.” He flexed his body builder arm muscles.
He knew he looked better than fine as he felt the air grow thick between them, the charged ions beginning to crackle. Finally, the girl who treated him as if he were The Invisible Man, was reacting to his presence and the reaction was palpable, the energy undeniable.
A perceptible shiver wracked Lily’s body and Zac wasn’t sure if it was from the tension between them or if she was cold.
“You’re cold,” he was hoping that wasn’t the case. “C’mere,” he sat down on the dusty wood planked floor, his back against the wall and indicated for her to sit down between his spread legs. “We can probably keep each other warmer if we’re close.”
Lily nodded and silently sat down between his long legs, leaning her back against his chest. Wrapping both arms around her to hold her to him, Zac could immediately feel her heat, and the memory of the heat they had created when they danced at his father’s wedding, made him smile.
She was back in his arms again. It had taken two years.
They sat in silence listening to the rain’s relentless waves pounding the eastern wall of the shack. Closing his eyes, Zac took in the complex simplicity of the moment. Liliana Castillo was in his arms. He smiled into her hair.
“What are you doing?” she asked, not turning around to look at him.
“Busted,” he laughed. “I’m smelling your hair.”
“Oh.”
“You smell like a Piña Colada,” he whispered, smiling, his arms tightening around her slightly. He thought he felt her melt into him a little, but wasn’t quite sure.
“Someone once told me that.”
She remembered. He could feel it in his chest and wondered if this was what other people felt, for he was certain that his heart had actually skipped a beat. Don’t stop, rain, he willed the weather gods, please don’t stop.
Quietly they sat listening to the sounds of the storm. Neither spoke for a long while and Zac reveled in how comfortable and natural it felt to be riding out the storm with Lily in his arms.
“Here we are and you’re not pouncing on me.” Lily finally broke the silence.
“Really throwing you off your game,” he laughed.
She turned slightly in his arms to look at him, “I was going to say that to you.”
“It occurs to me that maybe I have no game,” his tone was surprisingly serious.
“See and I would’ve thought that you invented game,” her eyes were smiling.
Shaking his head, “Not this game.” He didn’t even know the ground rules for this one.
“No?” Her eyes were both surprised and amused.
“No,” Zac continued to shake his head.
“Seriously?” Liliana was perplexed.
“Seriously.”
“I’m surprised.” He was now confounding her.
“You shouldn’t be.” Zac mustered his courage, knowing he was on the verge of becoming very vulnerable and she might tell him to go take a flying leap.
“Why is that?”
Here goes. He took a deep breath, “Because this is not a game, Lils.”
<
br /> She was silent. Possibly staring off at some indeterminate spot on the wall or within her head. Finally, she focused back on his eyes. “Lils?”
Smiling, he nodded, “Yeah, Lils.” That had been his nickname in his head for her since the beginning.
This time he knew it wasn’t his imagination when she melted into him, finding her space on his bare chest. “I like that. I like that you have a nickname for me.”
If this were anyone else in his arms, he would’ve had her straddling him and his wet jeans would have been long discarded. But it was Lily, and he didn’t quite know what to do.
Moving her slightly away, he struggled to his feet. “Let me see if my shirt is dry.”
Walking across the shack, he took a deep breath that she couldn’t see and blew it out slowly in an attempt to decrease his heart rate, before it beat out of his chest. The realization of just how nervous he was came as a shock.
Taking his tee shirt off the nail he felt it, “It’s almost dry. Just slightly damp.” He tossed the shirt to Lily.
“Wait, what about you?”
“Put it on, it’s almost dry.” Zac turned his back so that she could change in privacy.
“Thank you,” her voice was soft.
Turning to face her, his heart melted at the sight of her in his shirt, hanging around her loosely like a dress.
Unconsciously, she hugged it to herself. “You might not get this back.”
Crossing back to where they were seated, he took his spot against the wall and sank to the floor, stretching out his legs. Without hesitation, Lily took her place between his legs, nestling back against his chest.
He wanted to tell her that she was killing him, but instead he just wrapped his arms around her and closed his eyes.
“Now that I’m in a dry shirt, I have to keep you warm.”
“Works for me,” he smiled.
They were silent again for a few more minutes. Zac tried to figure out how he could capture this feeling and hold onto it for when he needed it again in the future, when he needed to remember what it felt like just to sit there with her in his arms, listening to the rain. He knew there would come a time when he would just want to feel her next to him, as if she were his.
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