by Barb Han
Dallas let out the kind of sharp breath that expressed how deeply his frustration ran. They needed to catch a break in this case. Running a ranch wasn’t like other businesses. Walking away even for a day wasn’t a serious consideration and dark circles cradled Dallas’s eyes from burning the candle at both ends. Austin was all too familiar with that routine and guilt stabbed at him for leaving his brothers to pick up his slack lately.
“Go home to your wife and kid,” Austin said, patting his brother on the back. “I’ll bring the paperwork home and keep up with logging calves at night. Speaking of which, did the vet get any closer to an answer with what’s going on with them?”
Dallas shook his head. “The only news so far is that they don’t seem to be getting worse.”
The family couldn’t seem to catch a break lately.
“And we haven’t lost any, yet. And that’s the only good news I have for you today,” Dallas said.
“I’ll take what I can get.” Austin followed his brother to the door. Dallas was being cautious but the calves stabilizing was a step in the right direction.
Dallas glanced down at Bailey. “You want me to take him up to the main house?”
Austin studied Maria as she cuddled the mutt. “We can drop him by in the morning. Let him settle here overnight.”
Dallas nodded. “Nice to see you again, Maria. I hope you don’t mind my saying this but it’s good to have you home.”
It was a big statement and Austin half expected Maria to balk. She didn’t. Instead, she said, “Good to be here.”
Dallas made a move to turn toward the door but Maria held up a hand to stop him.
“I know about the deal with Uncle Ezra and Hollister McCabe but it’s sketchy that would work out even with your dad out of the equation. Was there anything else that you can think of that Uncle Ezra might gain if he didn’t get a bigger inheritance?” she asked.
“That’s a tough question. I see what you’re getting at, establishing motive,” Dallas replied. “He and Aunt Bea inherited their portion of the business years ago.”
“And they received nothing extra in the will?” she asked.
Dallas and Austin both shook their heads in unison.
“That would make the case more clear-cut, wouldn’t it?” Austin asked.
“But he’s been pressuring you guys for more responsibility and more power ever since?” she asked.
Again, they nodded.
“So, the trick is figuring out if he and your father were in a fight before the so-called ‘accident.’” She brought her coffee mug to her lips but didn’t take a sip. “Or if Uncle Ezra had something directly to gain from your father’s death. But then, he might’ve just thought it would be easier to get what he wanted from the six of you with your father out of the picture.”
“Dad never said anything about his brother, but then he wasn’t the type to bad-mouth someone. If Dad had a problem with you, you knew it but the world didn’t,” Austin stated.
“He was a good man,” Maria agreed.
Everyone stayed quiet for a few seconds that stretched on.
Dallas gave his brother a hug. “I’ll let you know the second I hear anything more from Tommy.”
Chapter Fourteen
Thinking about his parents’ murders had soured Austin’s mood. But even that dissolved the second he saw Denali lying on the table with tubes sticking out of him. Janis was there, a ball of tissues in hand, red-rimmed eyes and nose. And there was a blanket over most of Denali’s body. Austin wanted to come alone, to spend time one-on-one with Denali.
“I’ll leave you two alone,” she said in a church-quiet voice as she pushed up to her feet and gazed down at the Lab.
“How is he?” Austin asked quietly, rounding the table to where Denali faced.
Janis’s lips compressed into a frown as she shook her head, and she seemed too choked up to speak. Her gaze intensified on the white tile floor as she hurried past.
Austin took in a sharp breath. He focused on being grateful that Denali was surrounded by so much love. He already knew that the Lab had someone constantly by his side since being found. Fitting, he thought, since Denali had always been a steady and loyal companion to so many for his fourteen years of life. It would be right for him... No—Austin couldn’t even think about Denali being gone. He had to pull through.
The round stool was cold as Austin took a seat next to Denali’s head. The sweet dog’s breathing was labored. Denali whined in his sleep and his right leg involuntarily jerked. Austin couldn’t choke back the tears welling. He’d shed them only one other time in his life, when he’d found out about his parents. He thought tears would’ve flowed when he’d lost Raina. They hadn’t. He’d been too busy stuffing down his emotions and trying to figure out how to help his wife.
Denali panted and whined.
“You’re okay, boy.” Austin scratched that favorite spot behind his buddy’s ear as more tears rolled down his cheeks.
Denali opened his eyes and immediately wagged his tail. He made a move to get up but it seemed to take great effort. Austin threw his arm around the dog’s neck to calm him.
“Stay right here, buddy,” Austin said in a low, quiet voice.
The dog stilled except for his tail, which wagged in double time.
All Austin could think about was how Denali had stayed by his side for the past year as though he’d had a sixth sense, as though he’d been keeping vigilant watch. Austin had worked late into the night and there’d been Denali right by his side.
Denali took in a shaky breath and Austin lost it.
“Oh, boy, don’t go,” was all Austin could manage through the barrage. The pain of the past year compounded by losing his daughter, his wife and then both his parents bore down on him as he held his companion in his arms, willing him to live.
“Don’t leave me.”
* * *
BY THE TIME Austin returned home, he had a stack of papers and his laptop tucked underneath his arm. Leaving Denali was one of the hardest things he’d ever done. The vet had reassured Austin ten times over that the Lab was in stable condition and Austin wasn’t the only one wanting to hold a bedside vigil for the animal. He needed to give his brothers time to be with their dog and try to make peace with the thought of losing him. Austin was not in a place where he could accept that outcome. Convincing himself that Denali would be fine was the only reason he could walk out that door.
It was two o’clock in the morning when he parked in front of his cabin. There was a soft light on in the living room.
He toed off his boots at the front door, glancing around for Maria. He half expected her to be sitting there, waiting. She wasn’t. She was most likely sleeping but he tiptoed toward the guest room anyway for reasons he couldn’t explain. Maybe he needed a reminder that she was still there after spending time with Denali. There was something reassuring about her presence on the ranch, in their home, that Austin shouldn’t allow himself to get too comfortable with.
For now, he had no plans to analyze it. He was running on raw emotion.
The door to Raina’s room was cracked open and a soft light peeked through into the hallway.
Austin froze.
Maria wouldn’t even go near that hallway after she’d lost the baby...and it took his brain a minute to process the notion that she was in there right now. He forced his feet to move toward the light, stopping at the door. He told himself that all he needed was a quick visual to make sure that Maria was okay. He’d expected to hear crying coming from the room, but then, like him, he hadn’t seen Maria cry since losing their little girl.
“Austin?” Maria’s voice was raw.
He suddenly felt awkward standing there, like he was intruding on a very private moment.
“I saw the light on,” was all he manage
d to say.
“Do you remember this picture?” she asked, so he opened the door and stepped inside.
All the memories flooded him even though he’d been inside the room a couple of times since Maria had left as though he might find some clue as to what had made her shut down and call quits on their marriage.
He walked over to where she sat on the floor next to the glider in the corner. The pink patchwork quilt his mother had made was draped over her legs as she stared at the baby book in her hands.
The picture was of her, fresh-faced and holding up the stick that revealed she was pregnant, beaming. Her long dark hair was pulled back in a ponytail and she wore a light blue tank top. He remembered that she’d just returned from her morning jog and had said that she’d stopped off to throw up twice. A phone call to her friend had prompted her to swing by the drugstore and buy a pregnancy test.
They’d had no idea what life was about to hand them, he thought as he stared at their wide smiles.
He was also reminded at how easy it had been to fall in love with her even though she’d seemed determined not to give in. He’d won her over with persistence, a well-timed punch line and apparently his “intense” green eyes, as she’d put it.
She closed her hand on his and tugged him down next to her. Austin complied but his heart cautioned this wasn’t a good idea. His emotions were too raw and he needed to be strong for her.
“I’m sorry,” she said quietly.
“It wasn’t your fault,” he stated.
“I was hoping that she’d look like you.”
* * *
TEARS STREAMED DOWN Maria’s cheeks. Austin was there, sitting next to her, and before she could debate her actions she climbed onto his lap and pressed her lips to his. His arms looped around her waist and his touch was so tender it robbed her of breath. She took in the scent of him, masculine and spicy. She was seeking refuge, comfort, and his touch was more than reassuring as he splayed his strong hand on her back. Sensual shivers raced up her spine and warmth pooled low in her belly.
Emotions came crashing down around her. A mix of longing, regret and an ache she had tried so hard to fill since walking out the door last year.
“I miss this...you.” His words were so low she almost thought she’d imagined hearing them, thinking they were words she’d wanted to hear far too long. And yet, she’d been the one to walk away, not him. Everything was her fault.
The thought was sobering, so she pushed up, apologized and hurried out of the room before he could see the shame on her face.
“Don’t do this,” he said, following closely behind.
She’d felt his presence even before he spoke. There was something magnetic about Austin. So much so that she sensed him whenever he was near. Maria stopped at the granite breakfast bar and whirled around. “What?”
“Don’t shut me out this time,” he said, and there was so much hurt he was masking with his deep timbre. “Just tell me what I did to push you away.”
How could she look him in the eye and tell him that everything was her fault?
“Nothing.” She turned away from him but felt his firm grip on her arm, stopping her from running in the opposite direction.
“We never talked about it, about what went wrong between us,” he said.
“I already said.” Maria pulled her arm free and thought long and hard about their situation. She had no right to ask for what she wanted, needed from Austin. And yet, she was about to do just that anyway.
Spinning around to face him, she slicked her tongue across her bottom lip and took a tentative step toward him. Afraid to look into his eyes, afraid of the hurt that was all her fault, she focused on his chest. Austin was quiet strength personified.
“Kiss me again,” she said, and then held her breath, waiting for his response.
It came quickly. One step was all it took for him to be nose to nose with her, mouth to mouth.
She pressed up on her tiptoes and tangled her arms around his neck as her breasts thrust forward against his muscled chest. Her nipple beaded as his thumb grazed over it and he groaned.
In the next second, his hands were on her hips, lifting her until she perched on the barstool. He stepped into the V of her thighs and she wrapped her long legs around his midsection as his lips pressed hard to hers and his tongue slid inside her mouth. This time, the groan he released was primal, guttural. She felt it rumble from somewhere deep inside his chest. Warmth pooled between her thighs as his erection pressed against her sweet heat. Need welled up so quickly that her head was spinning and she was getting lost in the feeling of being with the man she missed, her Texas rancher.
Two thin strips of denim were all that kept them apart and she was very aware of the barrier.
Her body strained for sweet release—release only the man she loved could give her.
The man she loved?
Yeah, she still loved Austin. But her love was toxic, like drinking contaminated water, and it was only a matter of time before she hurt him again if she let this go any further. He seemed to sense her hesitation because he pulled back.
His pupils were dilated and he had an almost animallike need in his expression.
“I want to say this is a good idea,” she said, her breath coming out in rasps.
“If we make love it’ll change things between us,” he said, and his voice was low and husky, like whiskey poured over crackling ice.
“That’s true,” she said, trying to steady her rapid pulse.
“Which might not be a bad thing,” he said.
If they could handle it, she wanted to add, but didn’t. The truth was that she would only cause more heartache for Austin. She could see that clearly now.
“Your hesitation tells me that we need to get a handle on this,” he said without budging. He pressed his forehead to hers and mumbled something that sounded like Not the right timing.
He was right, though. It wasn’t. And it would never be for her. She had too many demons and, unlike a sinking swimmer, she had no plans to drag him down along with her as she drowned.
* * *
THERE WAS SOMETHING cleansing about having a good cry. Most of the time Maria prayed for the sweet release of tears and they never came. All she’d had were dry sockets. Last night felt as though someone had released the dam. She’d climbed into bed, pulled the covers up and sobbed.
This morning, she woke before the sun, feeling better than she could remember.
Maria stretched out her arms and legs before going through her usual morning routine of brushing her teeth and washing her face. She threw her hair in a ponytail and put on workout clothes. Going for a run sounded amazing and she could get away with one safely on the O’Brien property.
After breakfast, she’d check in with Vic and see if any of the leads she gave him yesterday had panned out.
The light was on inside the master bedroom. Austin was most likely working. She hated to interrupt him but she had to let him know her plans. Walking softly, she eased toward the cracked door. Austin was at the desk in the corner—all he had to do was look left and he’d see her. Bailey was at his feet, snoring.
She knocked softly.
Austin glanced up and she knew instantly that he hadn’t slept.
“Come in,” he said, rubbing his eyes.
She’d rather stay in the hallway, so she opened the door wider and brought her arm up to rest on the doorjamb.
“I was just about to head out for a run,” she said, admiring his good looks and strong body as he stretched. He wore jeans and his chest was bare.
“You want company?” he asked, biting back a yawn.
“Looks like you could use caffeine,” she said.
“I won’t deny that, but exercise might kick my brain in gear again. I had to reenter the last number six t
imes before I got it right,” he said with the same smile that had been so good at melting her resolve.
Bailey’s tail started wagging before he made a move to get up.
“He needs to go out anyway,” Austin said. He stood there, shirtless with his jeans low on his hips, and Maria couldn’t help but stare at his muscled body. Austin’s stomach was ripped and she could see every bit of his definition as he moved toward the bed and pulled a black V-neck T-shirt over his head. Her gaze traveled down with the hem to a perfectly toned stomach and the patch of dark hair below his belly button.
It should feel awkward standing there practically gawking at him, but there had always been something so right about being around Austin. Something so casual about seeing him walk around wearing next to nothing, with only a towel secured around his waist. Being naked was the most natural thing in the world...
Until he started unbuttoning his jeans and then awareness skittered across her skin, awakening her nerve endings and making her keenly aware that he was all man and she was a woman. It was primal as all hell but she couldn’t control that any more than she could stop the sun from rising. It was imprinted in nature and her primal instincts made her very aware of the virile male presence in the room.
Another few seconds later and his jeans were piled on the wood floor. Was it getting hot outside already? She sure felt the heat inside the room. Her mouth went dry and her palms sweaty as he slipped into basketball shorts.
Thankfully, he hadn’t made eye contact yet because when he looked up, a lightning bolt of need coursed through her, electric and energetic.
Maria tried to swallow to ease the dryness in her throat and only succeeded in making a strained angry-frog sound.
Austin’s lips upturned in a smile—the one that had been so good at seducing her—and it might’ve been arrogant but it was sexy as hell, too.
“I’ll just put on a pot of coffee for when we get back,” she managed to squeak out as she backed away from the door slowly. Memories of their naked bodies entangled in those sheets assaulted her, wreaking havoc on her breathing.