“That’s completely understandable,” he soothed her. “In fact, it seems like a very natural reaction given all of the hardships you’d endured over the years.”
“When Peter moved out in September, it left this huge hole in my life. I had to start figuring out how to rely on myself again, and not to depend on another person. I’ve just really started to do that, Ian. And as much as I want to be with you, I’m not sure I should be letting myself depend so completely on someone else.”
Ian clasped her face between his hands almost desperately. “I am not letting you go, Tessa,” he bit out harshly. “If it’s space you need for awhile, I’ll give it to you, even if it means leaving you in this place for a time. But I’ll do whatever I have to in order to keep you with me in the long term.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” she murmured, sliding her hands over his. “I want to be with you, too, more than anything. But I don’t want to feel weak or helpless again, or worry that I can’t look out for myself if necessary. Can you understand that?”
He touched his lips to her forehead. “Of course I can. And with that thought in mind, let me offer you a different alternative. If you’d rather, Tessa, you could go back to school, earn your college degree. I’d still want you to live with me, but if it made you happy I’d gladly support you going to college. Even if it meant I couldn’t have you traveling with me like we discussed. At least you’d have the security of that degree, knowing that you could always fall back on it to get a job if necessary.”
She was touched by his offer, and placed a hand on his chest. “Thank you, Ian. I’m not sure if that’s what I want, but it’s nice to know I have the option. I’ll give it some thought. And I will move in with you, sooner than later. I just need a little time to process all of this. Is that - is it okay?”
He gave her a bone-crushing hug. “It’s more than okay, love. And if I start acting too domineering I want you to promise you’ll tell me, hmm?”
Tessa smirked. “You mean like earlier today when you got upset about the clothes?”
Ian had the good graces to look properly chagrined and nodded reluctantly. “Yes, damn it, like that.”
After dinner at a very good Japanese restaurant where they’d shared sushi and sake, they had stopped at Ian’s house in order for Tessa to pick up her things. And had promptly become engaged in what had threatened to become their first real argument.
At issue was the clothing and other things he’d bought her, things he’d fully expected her to take to her apartment and use. After all, he’d explained, he intended on buying her a great deal more, with or without her approval, so she might as well make use of the items he’d already purchased.
“But I can’t wear any of these things to the office,” she’d explained gently. “Gina and Alicia and the others would recognize these labels - especially the red soles on those Louboutins - from the other side of the room, and wonder how I was able to afford them. If we’re going to keep things discreet between us at work, no one can suspect I have a new man in my life. Especially not one who can afford to buy me a seven hundred dollar skirt or a three hundred dollar blouse.”
Ian had scowled. “I thought I’d cut off all those bloody price tags. And I wanted you to have some nice things for the office, darling. Not to mention,” he’d added with a wink, “I owe you a blouse since you ruined one of yours on Thursday. Thank God for leaky printer cartridges. Otherwise, I’d still be in the very beginning stages of the extremely involved plan I had to seduce you. That faulty cartridge sped up my game plan by at least three months.”
They’d argued back and forth a bit longer, until he’d rather sullenly agreed with her reasoning. He was somewhat mollified when she consented to take the lingerie, loungewear, and toiletries he’d bought, reasoning that no one would be able to tell what she was wearing underneath her clothes, or determine what brand of shampoo she’d used.
Ian had growled. “You’re damned right no one else is going to see those skimpy bits you’ve got on beneath your clothes. Especially that bra you have on right now. Christ, it makes your breasts look even bigger than they are. Or like they’re going to fall out of the cups if you breathe the wrong way.”
Tessa had giggled, despite the stormy expression on his face. “Should I remind you that you were the one who bought it for me?”
He had pulled her into his arms, his good humor restored. “Perhaps we should just let you try everything on before we buy more things. Mmm, my very own private fashion show, with you as the only model. Remind me to call Marlene and set that up.”
But as they walked down to the garage to get into Ian’s imposing black Range Rover, one of four vehicles he owned, he’d become pissy all over again, this time due to the old, well-worn raincoat that Tessa had been buttoning up.
He’d glared evilly at the coat. “You really have to wear that bloody thing? Do you have any idea how much I hate the sight of that particular garment?”
Tessa had fiddled with one of the buttons. “I’m sorry if it offends you, but aside from a couple of sweaters and an old sweatshirt it’s the only outerwear I own. Not counting the three thousand dollar cashmere coat you just bought me, of course. Or that cute leather bomber jacket that cost -”
He’d placed a hand over her mouth, cutting her off. “I get the picture. You can’t walk into the office decked out in designer garb or that coven of witches you work with will suspect you’ve got a rich sugar daddy taking care of you.” He’d rubbed her back comfortingly. “I just hate to see you having to wear the same things week after week, love. I want to lavish all the beautiful clothes and shoes and jewels you never had before on you. But I know I have to be patient. You’re trying to be the sensible one here, and I’m overreacting.”
“It’s all right,” she’d told him with a kiss. “I understand how you feel, even though labels or designers don’t matter in the least to me. It’s you I want, Ian, not the things you can give me.”
He’d pulled her into his arms at that point, kissing her hard. “God, I really hit the jackpot when I found you, didn’t I?” he’d murmured.
Tessa had thought the subject of her coat closed until he’d pulled out of the garage.
Ian had glanced over and given the coat one final grimace. “You can keep it for now, but mark my words. The day you move in with me permanently and quit your job, we’re having an official raincoat burning party. And I get to do the honors of tossing the damned thing into the fire.”
Chapter Nine
Late January
“What time is His Hotness due in today?”
Tessa forced herself not to flinch or otherwise betray her reaction to Gina’s casual inquiry. She also had to bite her tongue to stop herself from automatically replying to the question by informing everyone that Ian’s town car was even now pulling up to the curb downstairs, and that he would be striding through the office within the next few minutes.
She knew this, of course, because he’d just sent her a quick text with that very message. Within the first week of their new relationship, he’d presented her with a brand new, state of the art smartphone. Ian had been appalled to notice how old and outdated her cell phone had been, and the one he’d replaced it with was linked directly to his own.
“My private cell phone,” he’d clarified, “and not the one I use for business. Only a very few people even have this number, so we don’t need to worry about anyone from the office reading texts or emails we send each other.”
And he had very quickly made it a habit to send her regular and frequent messages, especially over these past few days when he’d been away on business. He’d flown out last Sunday afternoon on the corporate jet to visit properties in the Pacific Northwest - Portland, Seattle, Vancouver, and Victoria. It had been the first time they’d been separated since becoming lovers, and the time apart had been agonizing for Tessa. She hadn’t imagined she could miss him so much after being together for such a short period of time, but the separation had been awful
. The only things that had gotten her though the last four and a half days had been all those texts and emails, and his nightly phone calls.
She knew his plane had landed last night, for he’d called her on the way home from the airport. He’d called her again as she was getting dressed for work this morning, largely to ask her in a sexy voice what set of undies she was going to wear today so that he could imagine her in them all day. Just the sound of his deep, cultured voice had been more than enough to arouse her, and she’d almost had to change out of the lacy black panties she’d put on when they quickly grew damp.
“You have no idea how much I’m looking forward to seeing you again, darling,” he’d told her huskily. “I may lock you in my bedroom all weekend. After being celibate for over two years, now I can’t even go four days without you.”
Tessa knew the feeling all too well. Sex with Peter had been so infrequent and so frustratingly unsatisfying that she hadn’t known what a normal, healthy sexual relationship was really like. But even after such a brief time with Ian, her body craved him almost constantly. She wasn’t sure how she was going to hold back the urge to fling herself into his arms when he walked through the office any minute now.
“Ah, and he’s arrived,” murmured Kevin in a hushed tone. “What suit is it today, Gina?”
Gina glanced up as Ian began to walk past their cubicles. “It’s the black pinstriped Dolce & Gabbana. He must have a hot date tonight, usually only wears that one on special occasions.”
Tessa couldn’t hold back the small smile that crossed her face, first from knowing that Ian’s “hot date” was with her, and also from realizing that he’d worn that particular suit especially for her.
They had both been fresh from a very intimate shower they’d taken after a workout in his home gym. It had been last Sunday, the day he’d had to fly out on his trip, and he’d invited her to help him pack. Tessa had happily agreed, liking the idea of doing things for him, and also enjoying the opportunity to familiarize herself a little with the contents of his extensive wardrobe.
At his instructions, she’d located the various drawers where his socks, underwear, and workout clothes were stored, and handed him several sets of each. He packed everything with the expertise of a longtime world traveler into his Bottega Veneta suitcase, along with a fully stocked toiletry case that he always kept ready to go.
“Suits next, darling, then shirts and ties. Which suits do you fancy the best?” he’d asked.
Tessa’s gaze had been drawn automatically to the elegant black pinstriped one. He didn’t wear it very often, but she could easily imagine how handsome and sinfully sexy he would look in it.
“This one’s my favorite,” she had told him. “So maybe you shouldn’t take it with you.”
Ian had cocked his head to one side, regarding her curiously. “And why is that, love?”
She had stalked towards him then, her eyes glued to the wide expanse of his naked chest, the towel wrapped around his waist his only article of clothing. She’d been wearing a beautiful little robe he’d bought her, of champagne silk that ended at mid-thigh and felt decadent against her bare skin.
Tessa had run her fingers lightly up over his ripped biceps to the rock hard muscles of his broad shoulders. Her lips had begun to trace a path across his pecs. “Because I don’t want any other women to see how hot you look in it. Especially since I won’t be there with you,” she had murmured huskily.
Then, before he could stop her, she’d sunk to her knees and ripped away his towel, exposing his massively aroused penis. The curse he’d uttered as she’d taken him into her hands had been guttural, but he hadn’t offered up any resistance as she had stroked him persuasively.
“You’re getting awfully good at this,” he’d croaked, as one of her hands pumped his cock while the other reached back to give his swollen balls a light squeeze.
Tessa had given him an impish grin. “You know what they say – practice makes perfect. But I really think I need to keep practicing, don’t you?”
Ian’s breath had expelled in a long, drawn-out hiss as she’d taken him into her mouth. As she had continued to suck him eagerly, he’d fisted his hand in her wet hair, holding her head still as he thrust into her warm, willing mouth.
After he came minutes later, he’d hauled her up into his arms and whispered naughtily in her ear, “I think you’ve perfected that particular skill as well.”
And then he had proceeded to untie the belt of her silky robe, cupping her breasts, before dropping to the floor and returning the favor she’d just bestowed on him, using his considerable oral skills to bring her to a stunning orgasm.
Tessa squirmed a little in her desk chair as she remembered just how hard she’d come, and then realized her panties were getting soaked all over again at the recollection.
She was able to pull it together just enough to murmur a subdued “Good morning, Mr. Gregson” along with the others as he passed them by. Any disappointment she felt at knowing he couldn’t make any sort of direct eye contact with her, or single her out in any way in his greeting, was quickly dispelled a couple of minutes later when her new phone pinged, signaling an incoming text.
Tessa kept the phone tucked into a pocket of her purse, where she could easily take discreet little peeks at it without any of her co-workers noticing. She forced herself not to smile or betray her reaction in any other way, but couldn’t stop the warm feeling that spread throughout her body as she read Ian’s text.
Good morning, love. Wishing I could give u a big kiss right now. Can’t wait 4 tonite.
She waited until she was sure no one else was watching and tapped out a reply.
Morning to u 2. Txs for wearing my fav suit. U look very sexy.
There was a prompt reply. Txs 4 wearing my fav undies. Counting minutes till I can take them off u.
She had to fight off the urge to giggle as she replied. Yes but I might have 2 take them off cuz they’re kind of damp.
Ian didn’t respond for almost ten minutes, and she’d almost given up hope that he would when the familiar ping sounded. This time she couldn’t hold back the smile that stretched across her features.
Sorry, on a call. Sounds like u need 2 keep spare undies with u. We’ll buy more tomorrow.
Kevin looked at her curiously as she forced her attention back to her computer screen. “You look like you’re in a good mood, sweetie. Whatcha smiling about?”
Tessa tried her hardest to seem nonchalant. “Oh, just thinking about an episode of Modern Family I caught last night. This really hilarious scene where the gay couple had these oversized stuffed animals strapped to the roof of their car.”
Kevin’s face instantly lit up. “I know exactly what scene you’re talking about. The stuffed gorilla keeps rocking back and forth like it’s trying to hump the elephant. Priceless, isn’t it?”
That fortunately distracted him - sadly, it didn’t seem to really take much to accomplish that - and he was riffing about other TV shows for the next half hour. Meanwhile, Tessa continued to feel a little thrill each time she got a flirty text from Ian. It was almost like they were high school sweethearts, exchanging naughty messages during English class. Except that she’d never had a real boyfriend in high school, and had certainly never been carefree enough to text flirt with one. So she allowed herself this indulgence now, this feeling like she was sixteen again and flirting with the really hot guy she’d had a mad crush on for two years. She allowed the indulgence because she’d never had the opportunity before, had never really been sixteen or even a teenager, had never known the sweetness and innocence of a first love.
She thought very briefly of Logan, the boy she’d admittedly had a crush on during her junior year of high school, wondering if things might have worked out with him if the apartment building fire hadn’t happened, and her entire life hadn’t gone to hell overnight. She hadn’t thought about Logan in years, had tried her best to put that part of her life behind her. But she knew that the little schoolg
irl crush she’d had on her former classmate couldn’t even begin to compare to the attraction she felt for Ian. Then again, she reasoned, even a cute guy like Logan couldn’t hold a candle to a man like her handsome, charming lover. Tessa doubted there were too many men alive who could.
The work day flew by quickly, as it usually seemed to do when Ian returned from a trip. Andrew was delegating tasks to the team right and left, no doubt as quickly as his boss was passing them on to him. Tessa had three complex spreadsheets to update, plus two new ones to create, and immersed herself in her work.
She was so engrossed in what she was doing that at first she paid no attention to what Gina and Alicia were yakking about. Tessa honestly had no idea how the two of them got any significant amount of work done, given the frequency and length of their conversations. But then she caught the tail end of a question Gina was asking, and found herself listening discreetly for Alicia’s reply.
“…didn’t bring a date to the ballet fundraiser? Not even his little ballerina friend?”
Tess knew they were discussing Ian, and an event he’d attended last week. It had been, as Gina mentioned, a fundraising cocktail party for the San Francisco Ballet, of which Ian was a patron. He had been reluctant to attend without Tessa, but had glumly acknowledged he couldn’t very well take her along. Yet.
“This is why you need to move things along, darling,” he’d admonished. “Why you need to resign and move in with me - so that I can take you with me to these dreadfully boring events and show you off to everyone.”
She hadn’t been able to resist teasing him just a little. “But if they’re so boring, wouldn’t we be better off finding something more, er, fun to do?”
Crave (Splendor Book 2) Page 15