by Maya Blake
Limbs trembling, she kicked off her shoes, released her hair from its knot, tugged back the covers and slid into bed, grateful for the momentary peace to gather her thoughts.
All her life she’d been caught between a rock and a hard place—please her father or bear his wrath, achieve excellence at all costs or have a life. The feeling that she was once again caught in a pincer-like situation drew a ragged sob from her throat.
Mildly shocked at the tears once again filling her eyes, she dashed them away, but they fell faster, thicker. She firmed her lips. No way was she crying over her lot in life. She would heal. She would find a way out of the situation with her father. Most of all, she would discover once and for all what had happened to her mother.
Because she didn’t think she could live with the thickening shadow that she’d had anything to do with it.
CHAPTER FOUR
CARLA SURFACED FROM sleep to the sound of knocking. Momentarily disoriented, she tried to sit up, and winced as horrendous pain shot up her arm. Belatedly recalling her broken wrist, she adjusted herself and cradled her sore limb.
Another round of hard knocking shook the doors of the suite, before they swung open. Javier stood in the doorway, minus his jacket. With his sleeves rolled up, his arms were exposed in all their bronze, muscled glory.
She pried her gaze away from his arms and looked up as he approached. ‘By all means, come in,’ she muttered.
His features locked in a frown. ‘I’ve been knocking for several minutes. You didn’t answer.’
She hadn’t planned on sleeping, had lain in bed for almost an hour, lost in her thoughts before sleep had finally claimed her. She slid her hands through her hair, noting that, although her dreams had been troubled, she felt even stronger than before.
About to respond, she jerked back as Javier took her chin in a firm hold.
‘You’ve been crying. Why?’
She gave a bitter laugh. ‘Why do you care?’
‘Answer me.’
She shrugged. ‘I have no idea.’
His grip tightened just a touch. ‘Try again.’
‘It’s true. I’m not a crier. Probably not since I was ten years old. But I guess there’s a second time for everything.’
‘I doubt that I have the power to reduce you to tears, so this has something to do with your father and your ongoing partnership, sí?’
She glared at him. ‘Will you let it be if I say it’s none of your business?’
An unfathomable emotion hardened in his eyes. ‘Not if you’ve been lying here feeling sorry for yourself because of it.’
She wrenched herself from his grasp, partly annoyed with herself because that was exactly how she’d been feeling. She’d also realised that for the first time in her life she didn’t have a punishing schedule to take her mind off the bleakness of her life. Hiding the abject hollowness the thought brought, she pushed a swathe of hair off her face. ‘Did you want something in particular, or did you interrupt my me time just for the hell of it?’
His sumptuous mouth tightened before he strolled to the dressing room. Returning with a silk robe-like gown in rich, vibrant colours, he held it out to her. ‘Dinner will be served in twenty minutes. You don’t need to get dressed if you intend to return here straight afterwards for more of your me time.’
Shock gaped her mouth as she took the robe from him.
‘You look surprised. You forget that I want you healthy as quickly as possible. There’s only so long I can put launches on hold before schedules become impossible to handle.’
She gave a false smile. ‘And here I thought you were doing this out of the goodness of your heart.’
He returned her smile with an equally false one. ‘You’ll soon learn that goodness and heart aren’t terms most people apply to me, querida. But I do draw the line at decimating the sick and weak.’ He jerked his chin at the robe. ‘Do you need help putting that on?’
She noticed she was crushing the soft material in her fist and quickly smoothed it out. ‘No. Thanks.’
He left as abruptly as he’d entered, leaving the space he’d occupied significantly less vibrant than it’d been before. Realising she was staring into thin air, she shook out the robe. The kimono-style arms offered no restriction for her bound wrist and she wondered if that was why Javier had chosen it. Then she caught sight of the discreet hotel label and realised she was affording him more courtesy than he was worth.
The scent of rich pasta and aromatic sauces hit her nostrils the moment she entered the hallway. Her stomach growled, whether to remind her that she hadn’t eaten a proper meal for days or that the meal she was heading for would fall outside her regime, she didn’t know. But she followed her nose to the dining room to find Javier approaching from the terrace.
He cradled a glass of red wine from which he sipped slowly without taking his eyes off her. She watched him savour the drink for several moments before he swallowed. ‘You’ve lost weight.’
She dragged her gaze from the thick masculine column of his throat. ‘Being in hospital for a few days will do that to you.’
He walked to where she’d stopped at the place setting on the dining table. ‘You were already too thin when I saw you in New York a month ago,’ he countered. ‘Now you look even worse.’
Stung by his words, she focused on the silverware. ‘What a delightful start to our dinner, you hurling insults at me.’
‘I’m not hurling insults, merely stating a fact.’
‘In case you need me to spell it out to you, I need to maintain a certain weight for my career.’
She was unprepared for the slide of his hand at her temple, the soft caress of her jaw before he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Her breath locked in her throat as he murmured, ‘You forget, cara, that I’m intimately familiar with your body. I’ve availed myself of every inch of it. It may have been three years, but I remember each curve and hollow vividly. Now you have fewer curves and more hollows. I don’t like it.’
Carla shivered at the low, sizzling delivery. ‘Javier—’
‘Whatever it is you’re pining for, it’s time to put it out of your mind,’ he sliced at her as if she hadn’t tried to respond. ‘Nothing and no one is worth what you’re putting yourself through,’ he finished, his eyes narrowed and laser-focused.
She bristled. ‘You think I can get over whatever it is I’m feeling just by snapping my fingers?’ she demanded, incredulous.
‘I believe the only person standing in your way of achieving your goals is you. Your destiny is yours to mould or throw away by the choices you make. Or by dwelling on what you can’t have.’ He pulled out her chair and motioned her into it.
Carla sat down, fascinated against her will and more than a little bewildered by the words falling from his mouth. ‘And how has that wisdom served you?’
He spread his arms and displayed himself with shameless arrogance. ‘According to the world’s most successful magazine, I’m the perfect embodiment of personal and professional success. I encapsulate the very essence of work/life balance. I’m therefore the envy of every red-blooded male on the planet. Who am I to argue with that pronouncement?’ he asked drolly.
‘I see that you’re not letting the accolade go to your head or anything.’
His lips twitched as he reached over to pour her a glass of water. But the gaze he sent her was anything but amused. ‘I demand perfection. You’re currently several degrees below par. You know this as well as I do. It’s time to change that. You can start by eating a decent meal.’
Before she could blink, her plate was heaped with pasta and a thick, creamy sauce. Freshly baked focaccia bread spread with garlic butter was presented on a platter, along with Parmesan cheese, which Javier held out with a pointed look.
He was testing her.
Her sto
mach growled.
With a purse of her lips, she gave in.
The first taste had her groaning. She would hate herself in the morning. Or congratulate herself for taking the first step in claiming her life back. Whatever. She was determined to enjoy this meal in its entirety. Which was just as well because she had no recollection of finishing her portion, only of Javier heaping another serving onto her plate and presenting her with the bread again.
She took it slower the second time, her gaze drawn repeatedly to his elegant hands as he swirled his wine.
‘I’m not used to having free time on my hands. I’ll go crazy sitting in one place for two weeks,’ she said, striving for something to dwell on beside his hands.
‘I figured as much. When we get to New York, depending on your recuperation progress, you can start familiarising yourself with the products you’ll be working with.’
She frowned. ‘Am I allowed to know what they are now? The contract didn’t specify.’
‘For confidentiality reasons.’ He shrugged. ‘I see no harm in telling you now. The first one will be the new line of JS1 speedboats. They’re set to launch in two months’ time, right before the summer.’
She broke a piece of bread and soaked up the sauce on her plate. ‘I know nothing about speedboats.’ But she could learn, especially if she had the time off from ice skating that she was planning. She glanced at him, debating whether this was the right time to tell him of her future plan.
‘It’s a good thing I have total belief in your superb acting skills, then,’ he replied.
The atmosphere changed, the air clogging with silent, deadly waves of recrimination. It effectively killed any attempt to inform him of her decision, the bite of bread turning sour so she struggled just to chew and swallow it.
‘We won’t be able to work well together if you insist on bringing up the past every time I say something you don’t like,’ she pointed out.
‘And that bothers you?’
She glanced up from her plate, bemused that he would ask so obvious a question. ‘Of course it does. We had a one-night stand that ended badly. I admit I was at fault—’
‘How magnanimous of you,’ he drawled with an edge that set her nerves jangling.
‘I didn’t really know what I was doing, okay?’ she blurted, exasperation and shame duelling within her. ‘I was younger and less wise than I am now. I was also rebelling against...’ She stopped and took a breath.
‘Against?’ he pressed.
‘I wanted to be a normal twenty-one-year-old. I wanted to experience life. My every experience before that night...before Miami had been punishingly regimented. The pressure was just piling on, and I wanted a little...reprieve.’
‘So you used me, then made sure I knew I’d been used and discarded?’ he condemned icily.
‘My reaction the next morning wasn’t great. I know that.’ She cringed in remembrance. ‘But I didn’t deliberately set out to sleep with you.’
His features froze in a granite mask. ‘Are you saying I somehow forced you into bed with me?’
‘No, of course not! But being with you was...an extremely intense experience, Javier. I was completely out of my depth,’ she confessed.
Silence descended on the table. It was a good thing she was full because Carla didn’t think she could take another bite without choking. Javier’s expression remained shuttered, his gaze downcast as he stared into his wine glass.
‘I came on strong because you gave me every indication that you wanted me just as badly as I wanted you. I don’t mind admitting that the greedy hunger in your eyes when you looked at me coupled with the ingénue air about you turned me on.’ He gave a low, self-deprecating laugh. ‘You had me so fooled, I nearly punched my own friend’s lights out, remember? Little did I know that I was playing directly into your hands.’
The shame that had been crawling along her skin thickened. She tried to block out the memory, but it raged full and large and unavoidable.
Newly turned twenty-one, she’d negotiated a two-week break after winning another world championship and managed to wangle an invitation to spend the time off in New York with her best friend Maria and Draco. Revelling in nothing but new delights like shopping, attending her first nightclub and even sneaking in her first taste of champagne, she’d never wanted the vacation to end. She especially hadn’t wanted to return to Tuscany to a father who had turned increasingly demanding and unreasonable in the weeks leading up to her twenty-first birthday. In a desperate bid to find common ground, and simply because they hadn’t spoken in several months, Carla had called her mother and pleaded with her to intervene with her father.
Hoping the brief conversation would yield the results she wanted, she’d naïvely thrown herself into her last weekend of freedom by accompanying Draco and Maria to Miami. Little had she known that she’d set in motion a chain reaction of events that would haunt her for the rest of her life. Her father’s phone call branding her a disappointment and a traitor had come an hour into the party hosted by Javier Santino.
The strange, tingling feeling she’d experienced when she’d met the enigmatic, devastatingly handsome Spanish man had only been superseded by her father’s decimating condemnation. Years-long feelings of oppression had exploded, leading to a desperate and blind search for oblivion. With Maria nowhere to be found, she’d indulged in one too many tequila slammers, until Draco’s tough-love dressing-down had sent her fleeing to the bathroom. She’d emerged to find Draco and Javier engaged in a heated argument, and, unwilling to face any more censure from Draco, she’d readily accepted Javier’s invitation to go for a walk. Truth be told, she hadn’t needed another excuse to be with Javier, his breathtaking looks and clear interest much more than she’d ever been used to.
Draco’s displeasure with her decision had been clear, as had Javier’s irritation with him. Only after numerous reassurances that she’d be fine had Draco backed down.
She’d let Javier take her hand, his formidable possessiveness a new and exciting danger she’d yearned for. Besides being with a man who made her every breath quiver, being firmly entrenched in the present had meant there was no room to think about her father. Or her mother. Or what her attempt to find her own sense of worth and happiness would mean.
The ride in his open-top sports car to the ‘best coffee place in town’ had ended with an incandescent, mind-blowing kiss hours later on a secluded pier, and quickly progressed back to the now empty beachfront mansion.
‘Are you sure you want this?’ he’d asked her several times in between tugging off her shoes, disposing of her handbag, pulling the diamond-studded clip from her hair and showering compliments as he kissed every inch of exposed skin.
A bold hand cupped him, his girth momentarily stopping her breath. ‘I want to experience everything you have to give, Javier. Please don’t make me wait.’
His groan echoed through her entire being. ‘Say things like that to me and I’ll have to take you right here on the stairs.’
‘Tell me the right words to say. Teach me what pleases you.’
‘Madre di Dios. Either you’ve done this enough to know that it’s guaranteed to drive any man crazy,’ he growled, ‘or...’
‘Or what?’
Golden brown eyes bore into hers. ‘Or you’re a sexually potent creature who doesn’t even know her own power.’
‘I’m...neither. I’ve never done...this before.’
Shock. Surprise. Blazing possessiveness coupled with something so primitive, every cell leapt with sizzling excitement. Then a bold cupping of her nape. ‘Say that again, mi corazón. Explain it to me explicitly so there’s no mistaking what you’re saying to me.’
‘I’ve never slept with anyone, Javier. I’m a virgin.’ Shaky words, spoken with dread that her confession would end the most transcendent experience of her life.
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br /> ‘I’m to be your first?’ Disbelief and a touch of reverence in his words.
‘Y...yes. If you want to be.’ She squeezed her eyes shut and reframed the words. ‘I want you to be the first. Please don’t refuse me.’
‘Refuse you? Do you have any idea what the thought of you saying this...or asking another guy to be your first, does to me?’
Breath punched from her lungs, refilling an instant later with cautious hope. ‘No...?’
‘Let me show you.’
Scorching kisses branded her, leaving her gasping for breath, her fingers clenched in his hair as he swung her into his arms and strode for the nearest flat surface, which happened to be the first-floor hallway wall. Her silver sequinned dress seemed to melt off her body, along with the white bra and thong set, which particularly aroused a torrent of guttural Spanish words. His exploration of her was thorough, his fierce and expert attention eliciting an uninhibited response from her.
‘Do you feel this, querida? Do you feel how much I want you?’
His erection, thick and heavy between her thighs, brought flames to her cheeks and a fire low in her belly. ‘Yes.’
The involuntary twitch of her hips earned her a heart-stopping smile.
‘You’re a natural sensualist, but I’m going to enjoy teaching you so much more.’
‘Yes.’
She was lost in delirium, the sound of the condom opening barely breaching her consciousness. Exploring him as thoroughly as he explored her became a need she couldn’t...didn’t want to deny. Swift, hesitant kisses grew longer, bolder, her teeth and tongue coming into play when harsh, throaty encouragement fell from his lips. A pinch of his flat nipple brought a deep shudder, making her freeze in alarm.
One strong hand captured both of hers an instant later. ‘As much as I love that, you’ve shoved me to breaking point very quickly, Carla mia.’ A kiss on her swollen lips, before he dropped to his knees before her. A firm grip on her thigh parted her legs. ‘I need to redress the balance a little.’