by Christina OW
He wasn’t home the next day or the day after that. He’d run from her, but Jolie was patient. She would wait him out. She spent those two nights dreaming of her wedding, of a marriage, a home with three beautiful kids, two boys and one girl and of course a dog. She was so engrossed by her dreams even in her waking hours that she didn’t notice the squad car parked across the street that morning. She’d only noticed something was wrong when she went down to breakfast and her brothers and father weren’t there. Her mother was crying by the sink and she quickly tried to cover when she notice Jolie was in the room.
“Mom, what’s wrong?” She hoped that her father hadn’t been a douchebag to her again, but even at those times, she never cried so openly, she usually suddenly had an errand to do; run to the store for something they needed only to come back with nothing, but red eyes, wet eyelashes and tear stained cheeks. It had been like that for as long as Jolie could remember.
She moved to stand by her mother, taking her hands in hers. “Mom, please tell me what’s wrong!”
She sniffed, more tears escaping. “It’s the Masters... Mac’s parents died in a car crush last night.”
Her stomach dropped and for a moment she was sure she was going to be sick, so she covered her mouth with her hand. Pain, shock, sadness and every melancholy emotion passed through her at that moment and then she was hit with something else and she headed for the door. Her mother caught up with her, stopping her right before she opened it.
“You can’t go there, Jolie. Your brothers and father are there already.”
Jolie tagged at her hand but her mother had a vicious grip around her wrist. “Mom! Let go! I have to get to Mac; he needs me. Mom!”
She shook her head. “Your father doesn’t want you there...and besides you’re still in your pajamas.”
Jolie violently pulled her hand free. “I don’t care about what he wants, and I don’t care about what I’m dressed in. Mac needs me and if it means giving up my laptop, my phone and my freedom for the next three months I’ll gladly give it up! Hell, if I have to walk out of here naked just to get to him, I’ll do it. I’m not going to leave Mac alone at a time he needs me the most!” She breathed hard from the exertion her little speech had caused.
Her mother’s gaze softened. “You really do love him?”
She would have blushed, but she didn’t have time for that. She needed to get to Mac. “Is that why Dad won’t let me go to him?”
She nodded. “Go back to your room, wait, and once they’ve all left the house again go to him,” she grabbed Jolie’s shoulders, “but this isn’t permission to do something stupid Jolie. Mac is vulnerable and raw right now and he’ll want comfort, a distraction from the pain and loss and if you let him, he’ll make you his distraction. Do you hear me? I don’t want your father blaming that on me too.”
She would have argued until her mother mentioned that last part. Jolie didn’t know why, but everything she did wrong, her mother got the brunt of the blame with a ‘deal with your daughter Ana!’ or a ‘my sons wouldn’t do something so stupid!’ That last one she’d overheard after a grounding for a dent in his car bumper after a driving lesson from Jake. The thing was, it was Jase who’d done it, but her father wasn’t interested in any explanation. He saw her stepping out from behind the wheel, inspected the car and immediately chastised her. Her ever so loving brothers said nothing to the contrary, but after a week of the silent treatment—she to Jake and Jase, and her father to her—Jase suddenly got a conscious, but it stopped mattering anymore. She’d long decided not to let her father’s disappointment in her gender get her down.
So Jolie went back to her room, waited for everyone to leave, but no one left which was surprising considering it was a Saturday. So she crept out of the house in the middle of the night and ran across the street to Mac’s house. She got the spare key from the flower pot and let herself in. She followed the crying right up to Mac’s room. He was sitting on his bed, a beer in his hand and several empty bottles at his feet. He was drunk and in so much pain. She sat beside him, wrapped her arms around him and cried with him. It was a while before they were both cried out and lying on their backs.
She started to doze off when he whispered in her ear, “Please, Jolie, I need you.”
He startled her, made her nervous and she was about to say no when she saw the pain in his eyes and instead did what her mother forbad her to. And that was the second thing that made that day memorable. Their coupling had been wonderful, perfect and so raw with emotion. They made love so many times throughout the night she wasn’t sure it was normal. She slept in his arms once fully sated, but he stayed up to wake her before dawn to go home. It felt like it had been just a few minutes before he woke her. He escorted her to her door and with a quick kiss, he turned around, his hands in his pockets and his back hunched and briskly went back to his house. She went into her house, walking slowly and carefully so that she didn’t wake anyone and because she was so sore between her legs. Even her boobs hurt. There was no part of her body that didn’t hurt and yet still spark with the memory of the best night of her life.
She just closed her door when her mother’s voice made her jump, turning around. She was seated on Jolie’s bed in her nightgown, her disappointment quite clear in the look she gave her.
“You let him do it, didn’t you?”
Jolie shook her head. “I didn’t let him do anything. What I did was make love to the man I love.”
“Does he love you?” she returned angrily.
She wasn’t sure, but she wasn’t going to let her mother know that. “Yes, he does. And no matter what you say, you are not going to make me feel dirty for giving myself to him.”
She sat there, staring at Jolie with a blank expression. “Did he love you enough to use protection?”
Oh shit! That was one thing they had forgotten. She did want to be the mother of his children, but not yet. She still had a lot to get done in her life before she took that step.
Her mother shook her head and stood up. “There is a pill on your dresser, take it. On Monday, we’re going to get you birth control.” She walked forward and stopped in front of Jolie. Not sure what to expect from her mother, she readied herself for a tirade like she did with her father, or a slap, but none came. Instead she cupped Jolie’s face in her hands and kissed her forehead. “My little girl...I hope this decision doesn’t come to bite us both in the ass. Soak in a bath. It will help with the aches.” Then she was gone.
Jolie refused to let her mother’s dark cloud drown her happiness, but she did do everything she was told then settled in bed. She dreamed, more like remembered every detail of the night she became a woman and woke up to Mac’s voice. At first she thought it was a dream until she was pulled up into a sitting position and her eyes fluttered open. She was humiliated at the state she was in. She never wanted him to see her first thing in the morning, but the look on his face told her he’d barely registered how terrible she looked.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
His leather clad shoulders bounced as he pocketed his hands in his jacket, sitting down on her desk chair that was moved to her bedside. “Your mom came to see me this morning. Did you tell her about...about what we did?”
Jolie vehemently shook her head. “Of course not! She was here waiting for me and I—”
“It doesn’t matter,” he said, cutting her off, “get dressed. Nothing fancy that will take more than five minutes. Hurry up,” he ordered and stood up so fast the chair was pushed back to the desk, then marched out of her room.
Jolie jumped out of bed and quickly changed into jeans, loafers and a sweat shirt. She brushed her teeth, tied her brunette hair in a knot and chased after him. She was scared; he looked so angry, so resigned and yet angry about his resignation. What the hell did her mother say to him? By the time she got downstairs, the door was wide open. She ran outside and he was sitting in his car, revving the engine impatiently with the passenger door wide open. He didn’t look in he
r direction. He just sat there in the driver seat revving the engine. Jolie got in, quickly closing the door and fastening the seat belt. She didn’t say a word, just watched his hands as they clenched over the steering wheel and the shifter. They just sat their quietly, her looking anxiously at him and him...staring blankly forward, the muscle in his jaw working overtime.
She swallowed the lump in her throat and whispered, “Mac...” then the car shot forward with such force she braced herself against the dashboard.
Mac was mad and as well as she knew him, she knew she would just enrage him further if she spoke. So even when he took sharp corners and braked hard she bit her lips shut to keep from screaming and prayed they got to wherever he was driving to at break-neck speed safely. She looked at the passing surroundings and realized they were on their way to sin city. Soon they got into the bustling city and stopped in front of a small building. It was a chapel. Before she could even ask what they were doing there, he was out of the car and she was chasing after him again, right up to the altar.
“Mac, what are we doing here?”
He didn’t answer, he just kept pressing the little bell insistently, his impatience apparent.
“Mac—”
“May I help you?” a man asked walking towards them.
“Yes, we are here to be married.”
Jolie gasped, staring at Mac’s profile. Those were the words she desperately wanted to hear from him, and yet he made it sound like the worst possible thing to have happened to him. She may have been desperately in love with him but she did have her pride. She was not going to be a curse in someone’s life.
“No, I’m not marrying you.” She quickly turned around to leave, but he pulled her back and she slammed into him.
“Jolie,” he whispered in her ear, his hand pressed tightly to her abdomen, “use your head. You could be pregnant, and I don’t want to leave you at the hands of your father when I join the Air Force.”
That made her pause. He was still going to join the military so that would leave her at the mercy of her father if, it was a big if, she was pregnant. It was embarrassing to know that Mac had noticed the cold manner in which her father treated her, but God, she didn’t want to be anyone’s burden.
She felt his hot breath on her ear and his body relaxed against hers, his hand opened to lay flat against her stomach. “I’m sorry I sound so angry. It’s not you I’m mad at...my parents just died and they aren’t here for this. They really liked you, my mom especially. My dad kept telling me to stay away from you until you were legal.” He tried to laugh, but it ended in a chocked sob.
Jolie felt ashamed. This time she was supposed to support him and yet... She turned around in his arms and cupped his face in her hands.
“Forgive me for being so thoughtless. I should have known you were angry and still hurting. It was just yesterday...” She raised herself on her toes and kissed him gently on the lips. “Come on. Let’s get married.”
The ceremony was short with very few smiles and the honeymoon too short for her liking. They spent the morning at their hotel room and headed back home by midafternoon. The entire way home she admired her wedding ring. It was Mrs. Masters’s wedding ring. The police gave Mac back their valuables that were recovered from the car crash. It wasn’t weird at all that a few hours ago the ring she wore rested on a dead woman’s finger. On the contrary, she felt honored by Mac. She wore his mother’s ring and he wore his father’s and she hoped his parents’ love would bless their own.
She wasn’t sure what she was expecting when they got home, but when he parked his car at his driveway and asked for some time alone, that wasn’t it. She wanted to know what happened next. Did she move into his house? Do they tell her family and when? The last thing she wanted was to pressure him, but she needed some answers. She decided to hold her tongue and went home. She was relieved to find the house empty, so she went straight to her room and fell asleep worrying about the future and Mac. Had they made the right decision by getting married?
When she woke up, it was Monday morning, the day to get her birth control pills. She stared at her wedding ring for what felt like hours, smiling like a kid in a candy store before she got ready and went downstairs. She was a little shocked to find the entire family still home. Even her father had stayed home from work.
“Are you just waking up?” her father asked as he walked past her.
“Yeah, I have a free period this morning. Why are you guys still here?”
Jake stood and followed their father out of the kitchen. “We were just saying goodbye to Mac. He left for training camp.”
Her heart jumped to her throat at that. Married and abandoned the next day.
Chapter Two
Five years later...
“Oh for fuck sake! You let him knock you up again!” Jase lamented next to her, pounding the news into her chest all over again, because that was what it felt like. Each time someone mentioned that word it felt like a hammer and a stake through her heart.
And yet she couldn’t summon the strength to be angry at Mac. How could she when she was dead inside. Two months ago he’d killed her, ripped out her heart, and stomped on it. Where would she draw the strength to be mad about being pregnant again when for the past few weeks she couldn’t summon the strength to show her son how much she loved him like she used to every day of his life, before his father came back into their lives. God, just getting out of bed and continuing her routine was exhausting. It had taken her next door neighbor to stress how easily Mac could take Miles away from her. Tara, Mac’s fiancée, would love for that to happen. She was a kindergarten teacher, and Jolie cleaned houses for a living. It was easy to see whose side the court would take. Well, they’d have to find out about her son’s existence first.
Yup, her life had turned to shit and it was all her fault. She should never have loved Mackenzie Masters as much as she did, as much as she did now.
Jase grabbed her arm and shook her. “Jolie, I’m talking to you!”
She turned to her twin brother. She’d seen him the previous summer and he looked nothing like he did now. His skin looked yellow and he was skin and bones and so weak and always so tired, the doctor thought it best that he stayed in hospital. Well, it looked like his life had turned to shit too. Both twenty-three years old, one with liver disease and the other pregnant with her second child by an asshole who enjoyed abandoning her, but it was still great to have her twin around. Ever since he graduated high school he spent all his summers with her and Miles and she loved having him. It made her less homesick having him around. Unlike him no one else in her family bothered to contact her, not even her mother besides the occasional letters.
“What do you want me to say?” she answered with a dry laugh.
“How the hell did it happen and don’t give me the birds and the bees shit,” he whizzed. The stress from her life was exerting him too much.
She placed her hand over his and pulled her lips in a smile, though she knew he’d notice it was insincere. “Don’t worry about my problems. We need to figure out how to help you.” She turned to the doctor. “How can I be compatible when we have different fathers?”
The day her father announced he was grateful he hadn’t sired a whore was still fresh in her mind, his angry voice ringing in her ears. That day, she learnt why her father hated her and that twins could actually have different fathers.
The doctor’s brows furrowed forming a deep V. He looked at Jase then back at Jolie, understanding finally setting in. She was glad she didn’t blush from embarrassment ‘cause seriously being knocked up again by a husband who didn’t give a shit about her seemed less embarrassing than admitting she was a bastard. The last time she bothered to think about the father topic was when the man who raised her put her in the hospital. She’d come so close to losing Miles, all because of him. He was the last person she ever wanted to talk about.
“Mrs. Masters, you and Mr. Simmons are full siblings—same mother and father.”
&n
bsp; The first thing she thought was would she have to change her name from Masters back to Simmons once she was divorced? And then the part about having the same parents sank in next. It didn’t make sense. Then why did her father hate her so much?
Jase patted her hand. “Don’t think about that right now. Tell me how he knocked you up again.”
Jolie sighed. Jase was like a dog with a bone and he wasn’t going to let it go. “My cleaning company was hired to clean a house after furniture had been moved in. I and a few other girls got that assignment. I went in late ‘cause Miles’s ride to preschool was late, so I stayed last to finish up. When I was in the den, someone walked into the house and went upstairs. At first I thought I should call the cops, because there are so many psychos out there, but then I thought what if it’s the owner. So I went up to check and he was there and...it kind of just happened.”
The memory of seeing him standing in the middle of the master bedroom with just a towel around his waist was still sharp. Reason had flown out the window and all she could think about was being with her husband. She didn’t ask questions, didn’t say anything except for ‘I love you, Mac. I’m so glad you’re all right’. He’d tried to hold her back, but she was determined to be with him. He finally relented, kissing her hard as he ridded her of all her clothes. He’d thrown her on the bed, fell on top of her, then quickly entered her like he too had been waiting an eternity for them to be together again. It felt like the missing piece in her life was finally in place. There was no part of her skin his lips and hands hadn’t touched and it felt like a reawakening. It was like fireworks being in his arms again, having his skin against hers, his lips on hers and his body inside hers. She finally felt complete. Until the moment he’d mentioned Tara and wanting a divorce as they were both fighting to regain their breath. And just as fast as her hope went up, it came crushing down around her ears.
“I’m going to kick his ass!” Jase swore.