by Amy Lillard
One thing was certain, nothing would ever be the same again.
Chapter Ten
A baby,” he whispered, picking up the little plastic device and staring at it as if it contained all the mysteries in the world.
She supposed that in a way it did.
“Nothing has to change for you, Seth.”
“I don’t see how.”
“This baby—” Dear God, she was having a baby. The thought sent a shiver through her. She was excited and filled with dread at the same time. A baby to love and cherish.
“I’m not going to have such an important discussion in the bathroom.” He took her by the hand and dragged her into the living room. “We have some plans to make.”
Jessie shook her head. “I’ve made my plans. I’m leaving Cattle Creek.”
“Where are you going?” Seth asked. His expression gave nothing away.
She had been planning to escape for so long, yet she still didn’t have the answer to that one. She was still dealing too much with her grandmother’s death to focus on her dreams. She hadn’t been able to leave Cattle Creek when Naomi was alive. Now that she was gone, Jessie was having a hard time not feeling a little bit guilty, as if she had caused her grandmother’s death by her own dreams. It was dumb, but the feelings were there all the same. She shrugged but didn’t meet his gaze. “I’ll let you know where I decide to go.”
“You’ll let me know.” The words were lethal.
“Yes.” Her breath stuttered in her lungs, but she managed to continue. “I’ll contact an attorney, and he can draw up the papers.”
“Papers?”
“You know, papers.” She gave what she hoped was an encouraging nod.
Seth’s eyes blazed green fire. “Are you asking me to sign away my rights as a father?”
“Be reasonable, Seth. This isn’t what you want.”
“How do you know what I want? Did you ever think about asking me?”
“Once I get settled, I’ll contact an attorney. He can handle it all. I don’t want to keep the baby from you.”
“Damn right, you won’t.” His nostrils flared as his breath heaved in and out of his chest.
“But you don’t owe me anything.” It wasn’t as if Seth was in love with her. Marriage was out of the question. She saw no need to bind them together that way. Just like her mama before her, she would raise the baby on her own. She might not have a college education or many job skills, but she had her camera. Maybe she could work for a photographer until she could open a studio of her own. She would do what she had to do to take care of her child.
She’d lost every blood relative she ever had. This baby was her future, her family, and she didn’t want to share her with anyone.
“So you’ve got it all figured out.”
“It’s better this way.” Now more than ever, she had to go. Having the baby here, in Cattle Creek, would totally upset the dynamics of the family. Once word got out, there wouldn’t be a Langston who would look at her the same again. And that was something she couldn’t stomach.
“Better for who, Jessie?”
* * *
He watched the emotions and answers flash across her face.
“I want a fresh start in a new place. And I surely don’t want to raise my child in Cattle Creek where no one will ever forget that I got knocked up by Seth Langston.”
“Well, too bad, because you did get knocked up by Seth Langston and now you’re going to marry him.” He didn’t know why he was yelling. Well, maybe he did.
“I’m not marrying you.”
“What did you expect, Jessie? That you wouldn’t tell me and just move away and take the baby? My baby.” Despite his anger his heart lurched at the thought of his child.
“I told you.”
“Big of you.” He braced his hands on his hips.
She opened her mouth to say something, but he never knew what.
“Just what were you planning on doing, Jess? What are you going to tell him when he asks about his father?”
“She’ll be fine without a father.”
“Just like you.”
“That was mean.”
It was, but he didn’t care. He felt mean. Mean and ill and hateful and happy and nauseous all at the same time. “Make no mistake, Jessie. I will be a part of this child’s life, whether you want me to or not.”
She tucked her chin to her chest and put her hands over her ears. “It’s not like that,” she whispered.
“Like what?” he demanded, though he had lowered his voice to be a better match to hers.
“It’s not that I don’t want you to be a part of the baby’s life. I don’t want you to feel like you have to be. We’re not in love or anything. What kind of life is that?”
The heartbreak in her words was his undoing. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. Lord, he could get used to the feel of her in his arms, soft and pliant. How would she feel in a few months when she was round and showing? The thought filled him with excitement. “We may not be in love, Jessie.” At least she wasn’t. “But we can be good together. We’ll make a fine home for a baby. I know it.” He kissed the top of her head even as her tears wet the front of his shirt. Her arms came around him and he nearly groaned out loud from the feel of her innocent touch.
All he needed was a little time and he could show her what love was about. They had known each other for a lifetime, had practically grown up together.
“What about Chase?” She had to ask the one question that he wouldn’t allow himself to even think.
“This has nothing to do with Chase. This is about you and me. And our baby.”
She took a deep shuddering breath, as if pulling herself back in control.
“If you don’t agree, I’m going to get Grandma Esther and you know what will happen then.”
Jessie laughed and took a step back, wiping her tears away with the backs of her hands. “Just give me a little time to absorb all this, okay?”
“I’m not giving up until you say yes.”
Her smile wavered just a bit. “I expected nothing less.”
* * *
Seth’s footfalls thunked against the slate porch as he climbed the steps leading to the big house. He had been putting this moment off for three days, but it could wait no longer. He let himself into the house. “Mama?” he called, taking his hat off as he stepped into the large family room. His whole apartment would fit into the one room, but with the wooden beams, hardwood floors, and leather furniture, the space projected a cozy air.
The large painting above the fireplace caught his attention. His mother had had it commissioned from a photograph taken of Chase a few years back. He was on a bucking bull and was wearing chaps that depicted the Texas state flag. One hand was wrapped in his rope, the other high in the air. It was a beautiful painting, but today it was the last thing he wanted to see.
“I thought I heard you call.” The heels of his mother’s boots clicked against the hardwood floors as she stepped out of her office. She leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “What brings you out today?”
He glanced from the portrait of Chase back to his mother. “I need to talk to you about something. Is Jake around?”
“He took Wesley out to ride fences.” She shook her head. “That girl. I’ll never make a lady out of her the way he lets her run wild. Come on in here and have a seat.” She led the way back into her office.
Seth collapsed into the horseshoe-shaped leather chair in front of her desk and waited for her to take a seat behind it.
“What’s on your mind today?” she asked, once she had settled into her chair.
Seth crossed his legs, ankle over knee, and tapped his fingers against the heel of one boot. Suddenly he was sixteen again and having to fess up to the biggest mistake of his life. “Jessie’s pregnant.”
He watched the emotions flit across his mother’s face—surprise, understanding, then resignation. “I see.” She sat back in her chair, her demeanor calm and collected, but he knew inside her head the thoughts were going ninety to nothing. “What do you propose to do?”
“I’m going to marry her.”
She seemed to mull it over, then shook her head. “That’s very noble of you, Seth. But I don’t think it’s your place. Obviously we need to talk to Chase. Does he know?”
“I need to call and talk to him, but . . .” He trailed off. He needed plans in place before he told the news to his baby brother.
She reached for the phone sitting to her left. “We need to call him,” she said, pressing buttons as she spoke. “He needs to get back here and take care of his responsibility.”
“It’s mine.”
She couldn’t hide her shock. Her eyes wide, she stopped mid-dial and returned the phone to its cradle. “I see.”
He stood, unable to bear the confusion on her face.
Naturally she thought the baby was Chase’s. After all, Jessie had been Chase’s girl from day one. Or at least that was what everybody in town thought.
Now his mother knew that Seth had slept with his brother’s girl. Not only had he breached the brotherly trust issue, but he did it with a lasting, living, breathing memory.
“Are you sure?” she asked.
“I am.”
She gave a thoughtful nod. “And your plans are?”
“I’m going to marry her.”
“I see.” His mother stood as well. “I guess we have a wedding to plan.”
Seth shook his head. “We’ll just have a quick civil service. Maybe drive over to San Angelo.” That would stop the wagging tongues for a while, but soon enough, word would get out that he and Jessie were having a baby.
“Unacceptable,” his mother said. “You need to do it right, son. Langstons only get married once.”
* * *
Seth pulled his service truck to a stop and then leaned over to open the passenger-side door. “Get in.”
Jessie warily eyed him. He hated when she gave him that look—part frightened deer, part stubborn mule. “Why?”
“We have a few things to talk about.”
She glanced down the sidewalk toward the turn off to Larkspur Lane, then back to him.
She was on her way home from the Chuck Wagon. He had tried to make it over there before she got off work, but Chester Gibson decided that Amos Carver had stolen all the coolant from his air conditioner and had called Seth. After calling in a repairman and taking a quick look at service records, Seth figured it was time to fill the thing up again. Without apology to his neighbor, Chester paid the repairman and Seth was free to go. But now he was chasing Jessie down the streets of Cattle Creek instead of picking her up from work as had been his original plan.
“What if I don’t want to talk?” She sounded plumb wore-out, but some things couldn’t wait until she was ready.
“Get in, Jessie James.”
She flounced over to his truck and slid into the cab next to him. “Fine,” she said. “But don’t call me that.”
He didn’t say a word as he started the truck down the road once again.
“I thought you were taking me home,” she said as they passed by the turnoff to her house.
Seth shook his head. “I thought we might go down to the lake.”
“Are you going with me to watch the fireworks tonight?”
“Are you asking?”
“Maybe.”
“We have a lot we need to talk about.”
“Fine.” She crossed her arms and slumped back into her seat.
She rode that way the entire short trip to the ranch.
“This isn’t the lake,” she said as he stopped the truck at the entrance to the horse pasture.
“There’s a lake here.”
She nodded.
They had all been fishing down here too many times to count. He knew it as well as he knew the big lake on the other side of the highway. But that lake would be filled with teenagers and families alike, trying their best to enjoy the summer break from school. Add in the fact that it was the Fourth of July and everyone in Page County would be splashing around in water. He needed to be alone with her, have some peace and quiet. Someplace where they could talk and get things worked out before they got married.
She slid from the cab without him asking and opened the gate. He drove through and she shut it behind him before swinging back into the truck once more.
He had already instructed Millie and Dusty to handle everything they could until he texted them to say that he was available again. He needed no distractions. This was too important to have to deal with petty crimes and high school pranks. Dusty was plenty capable, and Seth had more important fish to fry. But he’d said an added prayer that the town’s good nature would last at least long enough for him to straighten out a few things with Jessie.
He pulled the truck to a stop under the shade of a large oak. Family legend stated that it had been planted by William Travis himself, but Seth suspected that it had been William Langston, his great-grandfather, who had done the deed.
He got out of the truck, then looked over to his sullen passenger. “It’s too hot to sit in the truck all afternoon.”
“It’s too hot to be in Texas,” she groused, but she got out and came around the front of the truck.
“You want to go somewhere else? Name your place.”
“How about the Arctic Circle?” she asked.
“I don’t think they’ll have fireworks there tonight.”
“Don’t care.”
“Then I’m in, but only if you bring your bikini.”
Her expression remained tense as she stared out over the placid water.
“That was a joke,” he explained.
She didn’t respond.
“Jessie, this marriage will never work if you keep acting like it’s a prison sentence.”
“Isn’t it?”
“No.”
“You actually want to marry me?”
He opened his mouth to respond, but she cut in before he could get the first word out.
“I’m not a fool, Seth. You’re marrying me because you have to. I’m marrying you because you’re making me. What I want to know is how long we’re going to pretend to be happy after the baby comes before we go see Harley for a quickie divorce.”
“How about forever?”
Her eyes widened, then narrowed as if she wasn’t sure whether to be surprised or wary. “Forever?”
“You have a problem with that?” His mother talked about Langstons marrying forever, but Seth had been in love with Jessie for so long. He wanted to be married to her, love her daily. Forever.
He went around to the back of his patrol vehicle and pulled out the quilt he kept there for emergencies. He had taken to carrying it ever since he rescued a preschooler from a tidal pool. The poor child had been shivering uncontrollably. Seth had wrapped her in his jacket to keep her warm, all the while wishing he had something bigger and softer to do the job.
He spread the quilt underneath the tree and sat down. His weapon was poking a hole in his side and he was pretty sure his handcuffs might puncture a kidney, but he was doing this for Jessie. He patted the space next to him. “Come sit with me.”
She looked as if she was about to tell him no; then she exhaled heavily and plopped down next to him. “We should have brought some fishing poles.”
We. He liked the sound of that. “Next time,” he promised.
Her shoulders lost that defensive slant and that little muscle in her jaw quit jumping. Those had to be good signs.
“Why’d you bring me out here, Seth?”
“I wanted to talk to you.”
“We coul
d have talked in town.”
He nodded. “But here no one is going to bother us. And everyone in town isn’t a part of this.”
“Someone needs to tell them that.”
He laughed. “We’d probably have to get a law passed.”
She picked up a stick and tossed it into the water. “This isn’t going to be easy, is it?”
“Nothing ever worth it is. At least, that’s what Grandma Esther always says.” But Jessie’d had more than her share of hard times. That was the first thing he wanted to change.
“I’ve always loved coming out here,” she said, finding another stick and tossing it. “It’s like being in another world.”
“It is.”
Cattle Creek was small. Not even two thousand people lived in the town, so there wasn’t that many big-city sounds. But here it was so quiet he swore he could hear the grass grow.
“When we all used to come out here, I used to pretend that I was really part of the family. Not just a friend.”
“Does that mean you pretended that I was your brother? Because that has a pretty big ick factor for me.”
She laughed. “It wasn’t about that. It was about . . . belonging. I wanted so much to be a part of what y’all had.”
Seth nodded. But that was before Mav left and Ty went to war. It was before Jake married Cecelia and Seth had stolen his brother’s girl. It was before a lot of things.
“Is that crazy?” she asked.
“No, it’s not crazy at all.” He used his free hand to tilt her chin up, then swooped in to capture her lips with his own.
He couldn’t tell her his feelings. It was too early. He knew she needed time. But he wanted her to know that he loved her. If only on this level.
He wanted to lay her back on this quilt, strip her down, and have his way with her until she begged for him to marry her. But not today.
She sighed as he raised his head.
“You are a Langston, Jessie. And from now on you always will be.”
“If you keep saying that, I might just start believing it.”
“That’s my plan.” Seth smiled and bussed her lips once more. They would be just fine. It might take a bit with all the obstacles they had to overcome, but soon—real soon—she would know how much he loved and cherished her and the child she carried.