by Tanya Savory
“Girl, you said you never stepped before. I know that can’t be true. You’re a natural. You haven’t missed a beat!” she said during a quick break.
“Really, it’s my first time,” Angel said with a laugh. “It helps to chant out the steps while you’re doing them. Kind of like a poem or song.”
“You definitely are better than me when I started! The first time I saw everyone here, I was like, ‘There is no way I’m doin’ this, ’cause it’s usually like I’ve got two left feet,’” she said with a laugh. “Oh, here we go!”
Robin started calling out steps again, and the two girls chanted, kicked, stomped, and slapped along. Angel found herself grinning as she moved in rhythm with the group. At one point, Angel felt as if her feet were off the ground, as if she were flying, lifted by the drum-like noise that held them all in sync. She couldn’t believe how such a terrible day had turned around. Following Robin’s lead, Angel lost track of time until she heard the ringing of church bells above all the shouting and clapping. Alarmed, she glanced at someone’s watch and saw it was 4:30.
“Oh no!” Angel said, turning to Justice. “I didn’t realize how late it was. I need to pick up my little sister from the babysitter.”
“That’s cool,” Justice said as she wiped her forehead. “We’re done anyway. Which way are you going?”
“Over to 35th,” Angel said, rushing to get her things from Robin’s car.
“I can go part way with you,” Justice said as she draped her braids over her shoulder and grabbed her bags. “We live right over—oh no.”
“What?” Angel followed Justice’s gaze to a blue sports car. It was the same car she had seen on Friday. Some older kids were sitting on the hood. Another was in the driver’s seat. Leaning against the passenger door, with an ugly sneer on her face, was LaDonna Burns.
Chapter 8
“Just who I was lookin’ for,” LaDonna barked, eyeing Justice.
“Ignore them,” Justice said, looking tense but speaking quietly to Angel as she adjusted her backpack. “LaDonna’s ignorant.”
“It’s just like I told you in school. You know it’s true now, right?” LaDonna beamed as if she just won an argument. “Looks like she’s tryin’ to hook up with you, too! Y’all look so cute doing that little dance together.” The two boys on the hood snickered. The girl sitting next to them mumbled something and pointed at Angel. All of them laughed.
Angel tried to inhale, but she felt as if the air had been punched out of her. Shame rushed to her face, but another feeling came bubbling up with it: anger. Hot and searing, it spread through her like flames.
What was LaDonna’s problem anyway? Why couldn’t she just mind her own business? Did she really think it was okay to treat other people this way?
“Are y’all deaf?” LaDonna yelled.
Angel tried to avoid looking at her, but out of the corner of her eye, she saw LaDonna step from the car toward them. She stopped on the sidewalk directly in their path, blocking their way.
“Don’t act like you can’t hear me!” LaDonna huffed. She turned to her friends as she spoke. The girl behind LaDonna glanced nervously around the park. The boys on the car shrugged and looked at each other uncomfortably. For a second, no one spoke.
Finally Justice gave an exaggerated sigh, locking eyes with LaDonna. “We can hear you. We’re just not listening to you. There’s a difference, in case you couldn’t figure it out.”
One of the boys sitting on the car snickered.
“Oh, man. Girl fight!” said the other one.
LaDonna stepped forward so she was inches from Justice, raising her finger and pointing it like a gun.
“You best not be startin’ with me, Miss Ugly Braids. I’ll ruin you just like I did your girlfriend, Gayngel. And then you gonna be sorry you ever messed with me,” LaDonna threatened.
Angel backed away from LaDonna, but Justice didn’t flinch. Instead she made an exaggerated sad face and said, “Oh, no! I’m sooo upset LaDonna Burns doesn’t like me. What on earth will I do?”
One of the boys laughed out loud. For an instant, LaDonna seemed confused.
“Anyway, you can say what you want,” Justice continued, rolling her eyes as if she were suddenly bored. “No one really cares about your opinion. I know I don’t.”
“Oh, snap!” the same boy said.
LaDonna’s eyes widened. She popped her gum angrily.
“That shows what you know, Justice Waters. It ain’t my opinion about Angel, it’s facts.” LaDonna spoke in a rush as if she was desperate to get out the words. Angel noticed a red smear of lipstick on her teeth as she went on.
“Sharice told me how Angel don’t like boys and how she was stupid enough to write it in some notebook and that she was gonna ask you to go to the party . . . I mean in that way. It’s the truth! Sharice and I been tellin’ and textin’ everybody, so now everybody knows—”
“Whatever.” Justice cut LaDonna off with a dismissive wave of her hand. “No one cares. Seriously, LaDonna. What century do you even live in? Come on, Angel.”
Justice stepped around LaDonna, who glared angrily, her hands on her hips, a look of desperation in her eyes.
“Whatsa matter, Gayngel? Too scared to say anything? Gotta let your girlfriend protect you?”
Angel kept walking, but LaDonna ran alongside her, yelling in her ear.
“Well, you can forget about thinking you’re all that! Sharice told me the only reason Trey asked you to the party was because of that phony text. He never wanted to go with you! Me and Sharice are tight now. She told me that she can hook me up with Trey easy, and she’s gonna do it,” LaDonna barked. “Whatcha gonna do about that?”
Angel froze. An unusual calm swept over her. She turned slowly until she was eye-to-eye with LaDonna. She could see cruel satisfaction on LaDonna’s face, as if she sensed victory.
“It’s great if Trey wants to go to the party with you, LaDonna. But I don’t believe it. I don’t think he’d want to go anywhere with you,” Angel said steadily. “He seems too nice. And you seem too rude and mean for him. Plus, you got lipstick on your teeth.”
Justice snorted and put her hands to her face. “Whoa!” she exclaimed.
LaDonna’s jaw dropped as if she had just been slapped.
Angel turned away quickly and joined Justice. Together they headed out of East Park.
Justice began giggling as soon as they left the park. By the time they reached the corner, she broke into loud raucous laughter and had to lean against a fence until she could catch her breath. Angel smiled but kept glancing back at the park. What if LaDonna came after them?
“Oh, man, Angel,” Justice finally said, wiping her eyes. “I would never have expected you to say something like that! The look on LaDonna’s face. That may be one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen!”
“I usually don’t say things like that, but she just got to me,” Angel admitted, unable to stop herself from grinning.
“That’s ’cause she’s a jerk and a rude loudmouth who had it coming to her. That girl’s only happy if she’s putting someone else down.”
“Yeah,” Angel agreed, looking back at the park one last time. “But why does she have to be like that?”
“Who knows. There’s lots of reasons why people are bullies. Maybe her parents are mean to her. Maybe she’s unhappy. Actually, sometimes I kinda feel sorry for her,” Justice said.
“I don’t, not after what she did to me today,” Angel said, remembering the moment in history class. Angel felt a twinge of the old familiar awkwardness. At the park, she had so much fun, she had forgotten about her terrible day. But now, she recalled it all like a nightmare. Only it was true. What did Justice think? Did she believe what LaDonna said? And what about LaDonna’s texts? The questions rolled through Angel’s mind in waves.
Justice nodded. “Whatever her reasons, it’s wrong for her to think it’s an insult or funny to announce that someone is gay,” Justice said. “It’s not like it’s 1950.�
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Angel almost tripped at Justice’s words. “What?” she asked, struggling to hide her surprise. She hadn’t expected Justice to come right out and talk about what was on her mind. Didn’t she feel weird or embarrassed?
“You know,” Justice said, giving Angel a funny look. “Her whole big deal about finding out something about you and acting like it’s something you should be afraid or ashamed of. Who cares? No one.”
Angel’s mouth suddenly went dry. Her heart jumped in her chest as if it had just broken out of a cage. She could barely speak or turn her head to meet Justice’s gaze.
“So, you mean,” Angel said in a small voice, “that you . . . you don’t care if I . . . I mean if someone is, or thinks they might be . . . you know?” Her last words came out in a whisper.
“Gay? Of course I don’t care! My Uncle Kyle is gay. He and Uncle Raymond got married two years ago. They spend Christmas at our house every year with their daughter, my little cousin Sophia. They’re the best uncles and fathers ever, and—”
“Wait,” Angel blurted, struggling to make sense of what she was hearing. “They’re married and have a daughter? Are you serious? Everyone’s okay with that?”
Justice laughed and shook her head, her braids dancing around. “Girl, where you been? Of course everyone’s okay with it. Things have changed. It’s not like it used to be.”
“Not for everyone,” Angel huffed. “Look at LaDonna and Sharice.”
Justice nodded and frowned. “Yeah, there’s always gonna be the haters, you know? It’s like what Ms. Warner was talking about on Friday.”
“Ms. Warner?” Angel asked, confused. “She said something about gay people?”
“No, not exactly,” Justice said as the girls stopped at a crosswalk. “She was talking about how during Civil Rights some white people couldn’t stand to see black and white people together. Remember?”
Angel nodded, recalling the story of Emmett Till. “But that was different.”
“Yes and no,” Justice replied. “It’s all people hatin’ on other people just because they’re different. Getting angry and hurtful about who someone loves is just wrong. It just is. See what I mean?”
Angel nodded, feeling an odd mix of relief and embarrassment. She couldn’t believe she and Justice were actually talking about gay people. And yet she couldn’t help wondering: What did Justice think about her? Did she believe what Sharice and LaDonna said? Did it bother her?
“So, I gotta take a left up East Street here,” Justice said, interrupting Angel’s thoughts. “You still headed down 35th?”
“Yeah, I live off Greene Street. Going through East Park isn’t the way I usually go home,” Angel explained. “But I’m glad I went that way today,” she added, suddenly feeling self-conscious.
“Me too!” Justice said brightly. “Girl, you got it goin’ on with the steppin’. We can go every Monday, and then starting in summer, they meet up three times a week. You’ll be taking Robin’s place and leading everyone before long.”
“I don’t know about that,” Angel said with a laugh. “Count me in for Monday, though.” She could hardly believe Justice was being so friendly.
Are we friends now? Angel wondered. Is this how it’s going to be from now on? She hoped so.
“See you tomorrow, then. And Angel . . .” Justice leaned over and gave her a friendly hug. “Don’t let the haters get you down. Most people aren’t like La-Donna or Sharice. Most people are gonna be happy that you’re just being yourself. Remember that.”
Angel thanked Justice and watched her disappear into the crowd on East Street. Then she headed home, her head a swirl of worry, joy, and gratitude.
She knew she was later than usual, but it was still early enough that Dionne would be down the hall at Ms. Alexander’s apartment. Mom wouldn’t be home for two hours and would never even know she was late. Maybe, if Mom was having a good day, Angel would even tell her she had tried out stepping at East Park with a new friend.
A new friend! The words made her smile.
Angel was rushing down the hall to the babysitter’s when she heard a door open behind her. She turned to see Mom burst into the hall, a mix of fury and relief in her eyes.
“Angel McAllister, where have you been?!” she shouted.
“Mom . . . you’re home?”
“Yeah, I’ve been here for hours worrying about you.” Mom stepped closer to Angel, studying her face. “Are you okay? Where were you?”
“I was in school,” Angel answered quickly, hoping her voice sounded natural.
“Why are you lying to me?”
“What?”
“Mr. Collins called me at work today. He thought you went home sick. He was checking on you,” Mom explained. Angel felt as if the floor had suddenly given way beneath her feet. “That’s when I spoke to your principal. He said you missed all your afternoon classes. No one at school had any idea where you were.”
Angel stared at her shoes, unable to look into her mother’s piercing gaze.
“So I’m gonna ask you again. What’s going on, Angel?” Mom asked. “Where were you?”
Angel sighed, unsure where to begin or how to answer.
“It’s complicated,” she said finally.
“Come inside right now,” Mom said, pulling her by the arm into the apartment. “I want to hear everything. And I want to hear the truth.”
Chapter 9
“It’s really not a big deal,” Angel insisted for the third time. She folded her arms and looked away, trying to hide the emotions swirling in her chest. How could she explain what Sharice and LaDonna had done without telling Mom the full truth? How could she risk letting Mom know what she was? There was no way.
“Cutting school?” Mom snapped. “Disappearing for half the day? Lying to your teacher about being sick? This is a very big deal, Angel!”
Angel felt tears welling in her eyes. She fought to conceal them, to push them back, but she couldn’t help it. One threatened to slip down her face. Angel wiped it away quickly, but Mom noticed. For the first time in weeks, she seemed totally focused.
“What is it, Angel?” she pleaded. “Tell me what’s wrong! What happened?”
“I’ve had some trouble at school . . .”
Just then, Dionne came down the hall into the living room. “What’s wrong? Why’s everyone yelling?” she asked as she walked over to Angel.
“Dionne, remember how I told you Angel and I were gonna have a grown-up talk when she came home? We’re having that talk right now, baby. I need you to go play in your room until we’re done, okay?” Mom gently squeezed Dionne’s shoulder and led her back to her room. Angel knew Dionne would sit by her door and listen, like always. Angel crossed her arms and prepared for the questions Mom was about to ask. She braced herself as her mother took a deep breath and approached her.
“What kinda trouble?”
Angel paused, searching for words to satisfy Mom but still keep her secret hidden. “It’s just that there are some kids that . . . that give me a hard time sometimes,” she said finally.
“Like bullies?” Mom asked, her forehead wrinkling with concern.
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“Who, Angel?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It does to me!” Mom insisted. “Why would anyone bother you, of all people? There’s nothing about you that—”
“It’s because I’m different, Mom!” Angel blurted, surprised at how loud her voice became. “I’m not like everyone else! And sometimes when you’re . . . different, people give you a hard time.”
Mom looked at Angel with a puzzled expression. “Different? You’re a regular fourteen-year-old girl. What are these kids saying to you?”
Angel could feel Dionne listening behind the door. There was no way she could have an honest conversation about this with Mom. Not now. Maybe not ever.
“It’s just stupid stuff,” Angel said, wishing Mom would stop asking for details. “I told you it’s not a big deal. C
an we just forget it?”
“If it’s not a big deal, why’d you sneak out of school in the middle of the day?”
Angel shrugged. She remembered the moment in the hall with Omar and Trevor. “I got upset, that’s all. I’m over it now. Look, can we drop this, Mom? I’ve got a poetry assignment to finish and a test to study for.”
Mom shook her head and grabbed her phone.
“Who are you calling?”
“The school,” Mom said. “We’re gonna get to the bottom of this right now—”
“No!” Angel yelled. “You’ll only make it worse.”
“Worse? You’re so scared you won’t even talk to me. I’m not sure what’s going on over there, but I am sure your principal needs to know about it.”
“Mom, please!” Angel grabbed her mother’s hands before she placed the call. “The year’s almost over. Just let it go. Please,” Angel begged.
“But you’ll see the same kids next year in high school. We need to fix this.”
Angel’s jaw clenched. In a flash, anger and resentment joined the storm of feelings raging in her chest. Maybe on a different day, Mom’s concern would be comforting. But after the past few weeks, it was like an insult. A slap in the face.
“Fix it? You can’t fix anything right now,” Angel yelled, feeling her eyes beginning to burn.
“What are you saying?”
“You talk about me disappearing? What about you, Mom?! Where have you been? You might be here sitting on the couch, but you’re not here with us.”
Mom winced as if she had been hit. Angel knew it was wrong to speak to her mother this way, but she couldn’t stop. It was as if a dam had burst and a flood came pouring out.
“You act as if you’re the only one around here upset about Dad. Like it’s okay for you to shut down and let things go. But that’s not fair, Mom. And then you say you can fix it. Have you even looked around? I mean, the house is a mess. There’s never any food around, Dionne is lonely, and you don’t seem to notice! It’s like you don’t even care about us anymore,” Angel fumed.