Meemaw taked another big breath and filled all up blue. Filled up of the blue I drawed in my comic. Blue of the sky and the sea. Bright blue of my actual Meemaw.
Yes!
Yes to the sea?
Yes to the sea!
We runned along together. The bags joggling on Meemaw. My foot tumpy tumpy in my trainer and I didn’t care.
CHAPTER TWENTY
I stopped by the edge of the stones.
Come on, love! We can go on the beach. It’s fine, come on…
The beach was a slidey down of crunchy crunch stones. We went on it Meemaw holding my hand.
Whoo! Mind how you go on the pebbles!
We stopped where it was flat again.
In the sea there standed a skeleton of black. It maked a shuddery inside me the great skeleton. I pointed but no words.
It was a pier like the other one but it burned down.
I looked and looked. It standed alone in the sea. It was just its bones. Gone to dead.
It used to be grand and have buildings on it like the other pier does. A long time ago though. It’s a bit sad now, isn’t it?
I thinked of the other pier and being on it. I thinked of the Karen day and the Coke that fell and went on her trainer and the Argos and all of that day. I liked the bones pier better.
Come on, Danny, let’s go to the edge.
We getted near it. All trickle rumples of soft soft coming. Fast and sometimes closer they rushed.
Meemaw pulled me back. She laughed a surprise.
We sitted where the sea didn’t reach us. We sitted on the pebbles that were warm of the sunshine day. The warm holded inside them. The sun was going low down nearly in the far off sea. It maked a path of golden sharkly. I blinked.
Meemaw looked at the sharkly of it. She was doing big breathing in and out. Her hands were stretched and stroking all the pebbles. Stroking like a furry cat. Like my back at bedtime. The pebbles turning and Meemaw stroking. Stroking like love.
We’re going to start again, Dan. We’re going to get that plan in motion.
What plan?
Meemaw looked at me like a bad thing.
Don’t you remember our plan, Danny?
Go home?
No, no, the grand plan! Don’t you remember the grand plan?
It sounded like something I had knowed maybe once. Maybe in a book.
Jesus! Where’ve I been, Danny? Where the hell have I been that we stopped talking about the grand plan?
You’ve been in Burgess Hill Meemaw.
Meemaw laughed. She picked up one of bluey grey pebbles squeezed it in her hand. I saw the squeeze. Then she throwed it. Meemaw throwed it it flied like a dark bird the bright sky behind. Then it falled. I heared it plop far in the sea.
I holded a blue grey one too. Very warm round. I thinked Tale of a Egg. I thinked of inside it curled a dinosaur warm. Asleep not borned yet.
Meemaw putted her hands on my face and holded it.
Danny, there is a plan and it isn’t all about traipsing round Burgess Hill and taking any crazy old shit that comes our way. We don’t have to take crazy shit because that’s all that’s on offer.
I wouldn’t take it shit! Shit is a poo! It isn’t on offer!
Sudden Meemaw letted go of my face and leaped up like a adventure starting. She runned to the water edge.
Come on, Danny!
A man looked. He was sitted on a orange towel with no t-shirt. On his body was swirly of hair.
Meemaw stopped. She hopped pulling off her boots. She throwed them up the beach one two. Higgly piggly they rolled down their socks inside. Hanging out tongues.
I runned too and standed behind Meemaw. She bended down taked all handfuls of the stones from by her bare feet. It was wet there. Meemaw toes on the shiny stones.
The grand plan, Mr Dan, is to get ourselves some money somehow and get away from here. Get away and see the beautiful world before they come for you.
She started to throw them the stones the pebbles. Plop plop plop and grabbing more up.
Before they slap you into school; start slapping on the labels.
A big stone went plop very deep. I thinked of it sinking but Meemaw talking on and fast.
Highly intelligent, socially awkward, bit of a loner, pinning you down.
Meemaw bended down again scrabbled up more stones more. She throwed them one another in the water. Each a word. Each stone taked a word far out in the sea.
While
plop
you
plop
are
plop
still
plop
free
plop.
The sea swallowed up every one. I knowed this was a certainness of Meemaw. This was the grand plan.
Grand plan grand plan! But Spiney! Spiney too! Meemaw if we go in the world Spiney must come!
Of course Spiney will come. Spiney’s family. We are a family of three: you, me and Spiney. Don’t you worry about that.
I picked up a pebble of big brown. It was heavy. I throwed it but not high. It went twizzle round fast over the sharkly surface. Not far but along the path that had comed of the golden sun.
Come on, Danny, have a paddle!
Meemaw did dancey into the water her arms reached out.
Come on!
I bended down did my velcros tried to pull it off my trainer but the world tipped. I falled over on the stones. Meemaw swooped. She lifted me up carried me up the stones hill. She sitted me on the dry. Pulled them off my trainers then my socks. Then a great gasp.
What’s happened to your foot?
It was very white my foot but another red flower of blood had comed. Hidden by navy sock but now there. Sticky of dark red on my skin. Spreaded out down to the edge. Not wet not wet but wrong. I pulled it hard from Meemaw’s hand.
I’m not cross, Dan. Just let me look.
I thinked not. I thinked of squish my foot underneath forever.
Does it hurt? What happened?
Meemaw’s hair lifty in the wind. I looked at the water. I wanted it.
I had a accident of a knife.
Meemaw putted her hand on her eyes.
Christ. Let me look, Danny, come on.
I slided out my foot. Meemaw looked. She holded it in her warm Meemaw hand. I closed my eyes to not see her looking.
I thinked she would make me say of it. I thinked of the blood sock in the Mick toilet swirled all away and gone. I thinked of the secret of it. I didn’t want to say any words of it. I didn’t ever. I would not. Meemaw did a sigh.
It’s okay, love. Come on, open your eyes. It’s just a small cut really and it’s not even bleeding now. It’ll be fine. Come on.
I didn’t open my eyes. My foot in the warm Meemaw hand. I didn’t want to open. Meemaw’s voice went on. Talking on.
I should never have left you there but I won’t again. I won’t ever look to him for anything again.
A seagull did a loud shout they do.
Come on!
Then I was lifted up in the air. I opened one eye. So bright! I maked a noise weep weep. I clinged tight on. Meemaw was walking in the sea.
I opened both eyes looked in front. It was all just the sea to the edge of the world. There was a line of dark blue on light blue. So light it was nearly to white.
Across the sea there’s France, Danny. It’s not far. The world isn’t so far away. It’s not so far at all. Dangle your foot down, the one that’s not hurt.
I dangled. It was cold. Cold icy. I liked I liked it the fierce of it! Slosh slosh. I wriggled.
Put me down Meemaw! Put me in! Put me in the sea!
She did. Meemaw did. We standed. Meemaw holded my hand tight. The sea came. It went on my trousers edge swish swish. I looked at it all the moving light. The stones few and far between under the sea then. Soft mostly. Soft of the Meemaw velvety coat.
Feel the sand, Danny? We’ll stand on a thousand beaches with sand that stretches on forever.
Fo
rever. I thinked yes. I thinked I wanted forever with Meemaw.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
It was dark when we getted to our flat and it stayed dark inside because the electricity was gone to the very end. Even the end of the emergency fiver.
Meemaw carried me in putted me down on the bed. It was still bed shape from when we went away.
We’ll just get to sleep, sunshine, and in the morning we’ll get up and get going.
I didn’t know if Meemaw meaned to the world or to the shop for charging the special key. But then a big yawn came push out my mouth before I could ask of it. Then I forgetted asking. I just wanted to shut my eyes.
We didn’t do teeth pjs or anything. Meemaw just taked off her trousers and slided in beside me.
***
When I waked up I was scared of a dream but it flew away fast. So fast I didn’t know of it just the frightened feeling it had leaved behind.
A noise was of a buzzy bee and Meemaw was sitting up fast.
Oh! Oh!
She bumped my head with her arm.
Ow! Meemaw!
It was Meemaw’s phone buzz buzz of a talking call. She reached onto the floor picked it up I thinked good good it is on I can watch Tale of a Tooth when she is finished.
The curtains weren’t closed. Street lights still on not proper of day time yet. Grey sky. I heared a van just one on its own. A seagull. More birds too. All shouting out and still not proper day time.
Meemaw was saying and saying on the phone.
Yes. It is, yes. What? Well I’m not next of kin, no… Well she’s… Yes, yes I do know her. What? Oh, god!
Meemaw holded the phone beside of her face a long time. I couldn’t see her colour. Meemaw holded her head in one hand.
Yes. Yes, I’ll come. I’m coming.
Meemaw flopped her phone down on the bed. On its screen down it lied. Still I didn’t take it. Meemaw looked away from me and no talking. But something she’d said. She’d said of I’m coming.
What Meemaw? What is it?
Sometimes in a story there is a terrible curse there are red shoes. The girl taked the red shoes for the dance. Then they wouldn’t come off until a chop. A chop of her very feet. That was it in my runaway dream of the night. I knowed it sudden. Very sudden very real. That was the dream I had.
Danny, we have to go to the hospital.
Meemaw getted out of bed putted on her trousers again. She was holding her phone at the floor for the light to find my trousers too.
Why?
Meemaw grabbing my feet to put my trousers on. I kicked away. No grabbing.
Why Meemaw? Why do we have to go to the hospital?
Because Karen is there.
Meemaw was holding hard hard my feet. I thinked again of the axe chopping. Chopping off feet. I went still. I letted Meemaw get my trousers on.
Meemaw putted on her boots putted her hair into a pony tail. She pulled it tight. I didn’t like it getting up still in night-time and all a rush and a hospital.
No hospital! Not the hospital!
Just be quiet, Danny!
Meemaw bited me with those words. I hated Meemaw then.
My Meemaw doesn’t do all the time be quiet be quiet of mean mummies on the bus. My Meemaw doesn’t do pack it in stop it get here.
I watched her then jerky fast. She went to the high cupboard getted something out of a tin. My eyes were too filled wet of tears for seeing. I looked away. I looked out the window. The sun was just coming winky over the roofs across the road and in the leafs of the still trees.
I did a yawn. My tummy did a grooble too but I didn’t listen. The tears went away. No crying. I wondered of it.
Meemaw talking a loud voice on the phone.
Can I have a taxi to Flat 1, 6 St Martin’s Road please? Yes, as soon as possible. That’s fine.
Meemaw shaked her coat put it on. She putted my coat on me with no words. Toot car outside. All rush.
Come on!
She holded my hand we went fast out of the flat. Bang of the door too loud for upstairs man.
I have been in a taxi on one day when we were very late for the Job Centre. This one was a more smelly taxi of green smell and the man drived away when Meemaw still putting in my seat belt to the hole. He was a mean taxi man.
Meemaw!
It’s all right! Just wait.
Meemaw mean too in the hissy voice of a snake. Kind Meemaw gone this day and hissy snake instead.
The seat belt was all the time going on my cheek. I pulled it away holded it in my hand tight and wishing. I maked a wish for Karen to be dead at the hospital. You can be dead at a hospital. But I was all sudden scared Meemaw could see in my head. I looked round but she was looking out the window. She was not in my head and knowing.
I looked out the window too at the streets of not much people in. We stopped at traffic lights for red. Beside us a man was pushing up silver covers from a shop. He had a long pole of pushing.
The sky was blueing of a sunny day. I thinked about the world and going in it. I thinked we could go right now not to the hospital after all not.
But then we were there. Meemaw gived the man two purple twenties taked back a brown ten.
In all my life I never was in the hospital except when I was getted born. I can’t remember that. Meemaw telled me I was a bit the wrong way round and I getted stuck. They twizzled me and pulled me out of Meemaw’s fanny triangle. Then I was born and alive.
But never after have I gone in the hospital and when we came I didn’t like it. It was slidey doors and a long corridor. Meemaw talked to a lady in a glass box.
Then pulling pulling all along.
No Meemaw! No! Nooooo!
Danny, come on! Stop it! Stop it!
Then no talking more. Just pulling. And no windows just walls walls walls. And smells very bad. Noise just of me crying.
At a next door Meemaw ringed a doorbell. A man in blue pyjamas came. All was smells. Lights were hum. Above my head voices.
It really isn’t appropriate. Is there no one else with you?
No!
We have some very ill patients in here. Will he be quiet?
Meemaw crouched down sudden beside me.
Danny, you need to be quiet in here because people are ill. People are ill in here and you have to be a kind boy and be quiet. It’s okay. Look, it’s okay, sweetheart. Just blow…
Meemaw holded a tissue for me. Meemaw to kind again. She stroked my hair her hand gone shaky. Then she standed up.
Okay? Quiet enough for you?
The man letted us in.
Inside the door it smelled very. I holded Meemaw’s hand tight tight. We went in a teeny tiny room. A kettle on a table. One thin orange sofa and a chair of wooden arms and a orange seat. It creaked when Meemaw sitted down. She holded me on her lap. Blue pyjamas man standed in the doorway.
If you wait, I’ll tell the doctor you’re here.
I putted my forehead on Meemaw’s coat. She didn’t move any of herself just still as still. I tried to see her colour. I couldn’t see anything of it. All the time was the horrible smell. The light a very blue white buzz buzz light. I wanted to go home. Home.
There was a bang of a door I did a jump. Meemaw holded me tighter. Another man came in purple pyjamas.
Ms White?
Yes.
He sitted on the edge of the orange sofa very close. Very. I pushed my head more into Meemaw. His voice quiet slow. He was a tortoise sort of man.
Who’s this?
He meaned me.
This is my son, Daniel. I didn’t have anyone to leave him with.
Daniel, would you like to go with Simon to play with some toys?
I didn’t say. Inside of me was hard thumping. I burrowed in Meemaw. A mole digged in. I scrunched her coat tight.
I don’t think he’ll go. You’d better tell me what’s happening.
Well, if you’re sure.
Yes, just tell me. Please.
The tortoise voice was nice. I lik
ed it. I peeped at tortoise man from underneath Meemaw’s arm. He was a man of bronze colour and darkness eyes. I could see black dots of beard making in his cheek.
Well, Ms Henderson took quite a quantity of her prescription medication and we’re going to need to watch her carefully for a few hours. But she’s conscious. And she’s out of immediate danger.
Meemaw’s body did a little jump. Then another one quick after.
We understand from her that you are her partner?
No.
The no was alone and loud. Like a burp.
Oh! Oh, we were lead to believe…
No, we had a brief relationship but…
Then it was quiet no talking.
I wriggled my head so I could see the window from underneath Meemaw’s arm. There was a blind maked of white stripes all lined up. I could see little slices of green grass and blue sky. A weeny plane crossed the blue one at a time. It maked a white fluffy line that joined them up.
Do you know if there’s anyone else we should perhaps have informed?
Tortoise man talking again. I looked.
No, there’s no one, as far as I know.
Tortoise man nodded his tortoise head slow up down. Up down.
Would you like to see her now?
Meemaw putted me on the chair even though I did a hard cling on. I did no talking. In the hospital it was best no talking.
Danny! Danny! Danny, look I just need to go and see Karen for a minute. It’s just down the corridor. You’ll be fine. You just sit here for a minute. Look, you can have my phone.
Tortoise man was watching us. Very still eyes. I looked in them once. I letted Meemaw go.
Your mum will be back in just a minute, Danny. You just wait here, okay?
He and Meemaw went out. Then I heared him in the corridor.
Just in there. Keep an eye for a minute.
Blue pyjamas man looked in the door at me.
Okay?
I did a nod. He went away.
I looked at the stripy window again. I thinked if I came very tiny I could go through the gaps of the white stripes and then out the window. But it was shut and all the air still.
I was in a buzzy room of horrible smell. Outside a door of high up handle and doorbell. No way out. Meemaw gone with the tortoise man.
Tale of a Tooth Page 17