Meemaw bended down and pushed me off.
Noooo. No wee!
You can wee on the big tree, Dan!
I wanted to then. I weed all on it and maked a mark of dark. Meemaw crouched down because of no willy.
We waited by a big road for the bus to come back. The cars went neenow neenow fast. Meemaw wouldn’t let me get off the seat.
She taked the new phone out looked at it. Holded it one hand other hand one hand other hand.
Can I go on it Meemaw?
I thinked of Tale of a Tooth. A hundred and twenty million years ago. Then I thinked of Spiney and it hurted again.
Meemaw didn’t say of the phone she just all the time holded it. Holded it and staring. The cars went neenow.
When the bus came Meemaw and me sitted at the back. It was a long bendy again. People on people off.
We stopped because a red light. Phone still in Meemaw’s hand I watched her thumb go on the side for switch on. Buzz. Buzz buzz buzz.
Meemaw’s brown was come all over. But her finger was dancing. Meemaw was messaging. I thinked Karen. A sicky feeling came in me. Sicky of bus and nasty pasta taste.
Right. We can go back to the flat. I’ve messaged her and she’s left.
Did you ask of Spiney Meemaw?
We’ll find him when we get back.
Ask Karen of Spiney Meemaw!
I’m sure he’s in the flat, love.
I thinked of him killed. I thinked of Spiney lost to me.
ASK!
A lady of Chinese was looking at me.
Ssh! He’ll be in the flat.
I bursted into tears. It was worser of Meemaw not asking. Spiney the most precious of all dinosaurs and Meemaw had not asked.
I hitted Meemaw’s arm. I whacked Meemaw again again. Kicked on the seat in front.
Stop it! Stop it, Danny!
Hard hard as I could then bang! Bus stopped. I falled off the seat. I falled right off. I thump banged my head and my side on the seat in front.
Danny!
Meemaw picked me up. My head thumped. My side burned of a fire. Crying again.
Shhh… Shhhh… It’s all right.
Meemaw rocked me. I stopped crying. In a little while she peeled a Babybel cheese from the bag and holded it to me. I throwed it on the floor. But I taked the red soft wax. I squish squashed it and sniffed. I pressed it on the window and pulled off again. It maked pink ghosts. Inside I was sicky. My side hurted. Spiney was lost.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
All along our road was wishes. At every car a wish of Spiney under it. But not. Kerb then black road empty. No Spiney. Ten cars one white van. No Spiney.
Not by any walls or steps. Not in a black box of recycling. Not by the Kasbah shop. The swingy sign of doner kebab and chips was there. The mens in the shop laughing. One waved to me not knowing of the crisis.
Then it was home and Spiney not found. Meemaw went up the steps and me following. Each step my feet on it and one more wish. One more wish of Spiney.
The front door was locked double for Meemaw to twizzle the key two times.
Wait!
All along had been wishes of Spiney but now I thinked of Karen.
Meemaw!
It’s okay, Danny. Don’t worry, love. The door’s locked. All the lights are off. And I’ve texted her. She’s not here. She told me she’s gone home and we can talk tomorrow. Let’s just get inside now, okay?
Our flat windows were gone to a mirror of the sky. Pretty blue. Purple at the edge and a bird in it. A seagull. But a mirror. No seeing in to be sure.
Meemaw!
I pulled Meemaw’s coat for wait for stop.
Danny, if she’s in there then we’ll come straight back out, okay? You stand behind me and I’ll look in. If she’s there, then we’ll go straight back out onto the pavement. We won’t go in if she’s there. I promise.
But if she comes in a chase! Hurts you Meemaw on the pavement!
She won’t.
Meemaw pushed open our flat door and peeped her head inside.
She’s not here, Danny.
She went in and I behind her. Meemaw pushed in the key of the meter. The lights came to on. Hmmmm of fridge to alive.
I runned around looked all on the floor for Spiney.
SpineySpineySpineySpiney…
Meemaw flopped down on the sofa. Plonked the bag beside. I pushed Meemaw and lifted up the cushion under Meemaw’s bot.
Take it easy, love!
Meemaw was gone to floppy again. Shaky too and rubbing her arms. I pulled. It was a emergency still and Meemaw just floppy. No good.
Help me! Help me find him!
J… just a second. Give me a second, Danny. Then I’ll get the tea on and we can have a proper thorough search while it’s cooking.
On the way home Meemaw had getted the electricity key charged of ten pounds and Meemaw had said potatoes gravy baked beans. But I didn’t want. All I wanted was find Spiney.
NO! Meemaw look now!
God, Danny, please… I’m just going to have a wee.
Meemaw opened the bathroom door.
Scream!
One scream and Karen on Meemaw.
Shshshshshshhhh!
Flappy arms of Karen at Meemaw. Meemaw walked backwards. Arms flapping too.
Get… get… Karen, no…
My feet were sticked on the floor. Eyes sticked on Karen. On her flappy arms. One was very wrong something wrong. It was blood. All down her arm red. Karen’s white shirt red. Red of blood and wet. Soaky.
Meemaw back back into the kitchen. Karen pressed her on the fridge. Pressed into Meemaw.
Babybabybaby!
Trying to kiss Meemaw. Her hand of the blood arm on Meemaw’s head. Then I saw Meemaw’s arm. Meemaw picked up a mug of on the side and clonk. Clonk on Karen’s head.
Shit!
Hands to her head she letted Meemaw go.
Meemaw swooped to me. She grabbed my arm.
Go! Go!
We spinned around. Almost to the door and Meemaw’s hand leaped out of mine.
Karen had punched on Meemaw. She flied in the air. Thud Meemaw’s head on the wall. Loud. On the wall at the edge by the window Meemaw’s head hitted. She falled. All in the air all was raining red. Blood drops of Karen’s arm rained in the flat.
Still. All stopped. Knock knock the flat door.
Hello?
Upstairs man. Karen picked me up. She picked me up and holded her arm of blood on my back. Wet cold I feeled it.
Karen’s mouth close hot and her words maked spit.
Not a word. You don’t say a word.
Karen opened the door a tiny slice.
Yeah?
Hi. I just found this down the side of the front steps there as I was coming in. I guess it’s yours.
Spiney. Upstairs man holding. He holded him out through the door slice for take him. I did.
Oh, cheers mate, he’s been doing his nut about that monster.
Karen closing the slice but upstairs man speaked more.
Is Natalie in? I just need a word.
She’s having a lie-down. Migraine.
Oh, well, if you could just tell her I’d like…
Yeah.
Door closed. Click. Karen putted me down. Push pushed in my back to the sofa.
Sit there. Shut up.
Karen went by Meemaw. Meemaw was still on the floor not getted up. Meemaw’s face I couldn’t see just hair spreaded out.
You silly bitch, Nat. What have you done? What have you done?
My body wouldn’t move. I tried to get up. Nothing happened. I tried just move my arm but it didn’t move. I was turned to stone in a statue. And Meemaw was… Meemaw on the floor. Meemaw Meemaw Meemaw and Karen saying words. Words at me. Her mouth moving.
Your mum… Stay there and don’t… A little rest… Your mum…
All words turning over and round. Mouth moving on and on. But Meemaw. Meeemaw on the floor. Not moving.
Karen’s arm was te
ared of a claw. Soft. Wet the edges. Blood. Whoosh whoosh whoosh. Blood.
I runned to the door. Jumped. My fingers slided down. My fingers slided and her arms came around me tight. No air in me. Kicking kicking. My foot thonked on her body.
Oioioi, you little shit.
Karen folded me on the floor of the kitchen. Pressed. Then pushed. Pushed to under the table.
You stay there, you understand? Stay there if you don’t want a hiding! Understand?
I didn’t understand. Hiding. I hided back by the wall. Karen holded up her hand of red blood. She would hurt me.
Karen standed up. She was just her legs then and wee came. Such wee I couldn’t stop. And crying. Not noise. Not noise but tears running.
Tears runned all each other down my face. All wet and slidy in our flat. I looked and saw Meemaw. By the window. Meemaw still on the floor. Still like asleep. Like asleep Danny.
Karen went by Meemaw. Karen had a bottle of golden in her hand. She drinked some then flopped down on her knees. Next to Meemaw. Stroking my Meemaw’s hair and words. Whisper words I couldn’t hear.
Sudden Meemaw coughed. Karen jumped her hands off Meemaw’s head. Meemaw coughed again and something shooted out of her mouth.
Still again. Meemaw still again. Karen stroked more and words.
Baby, baby, you have a rest…
The cough thing had landed near. Small as a sweetcorn bit but not yellow. Pink on the greeny floor. Meemaw maked a sound a little sound. Sound is not dead. Cough is not dead.
You’re all right, sweetheart, just have a rest, just have a rest, baby.
Karen poured golden out on Meemaw’s face for a drink. But it runned all over. Cough again. Then still. Quiet.
Baby.
Karen lied by Meemaw rubbing. Her blood hand rubbed on Meemaw’s back. She kissed on Meemaw’s hair.
Spiney was in my hands. His sail. The claws of him. I tried mind words to him but it was too loud inside me.
My Spiney. Wet was on him. I looked. On the Spiney sail was red. Red of Karen blood. I wiped wiped wiped Spiney on my t-shirt. But red still. Red on him.
I looked back at the cough thing. Mysterious thing of fear. It had come flown out of my Meemaw. Sudden all sudden rushed up sicky inside me. I knowed of it. I knowed. It was a tooth. Sicky almost to my mouth. I feel smelled it come up. Burning. But it went down again.
It went to darkness in our flat. Karen still sitted up next to Meemaw. She drinked her golden. I watched. Drink. Stroke. Stroking my Meemaw.
Sometimes hanging down her head she cried. One time she looked at me. Her eyes shined in the dark.
She getted up then pushed the chair by the door. Our big chair of Meemaw reading sideways. Pushed it hard by the door.
Fuck, shit! No ideas, Professor, okay?
Then Karen lied down next to Meemaw and singed a song of a Lady in Red. Over over Lady in Red. At the end was quiet. Drip drip our tap. Hummmmm fridge. Karen’s arm over Meemaw.
The golden bottle gone almost to empty. Street light in it glowed.
I heared the gzzzz gzzz of Karen. Asleep. Asleep. Long and dark. Sometimes my eyes went closed and sometimes open. Never Meemaw getted up. Long.
Light again and cars. I heared upstairs man flush his toilet. Pad pad his walking. Telly.
Still Karen was asleep. Still Meemaw was… Meemaw was still. I looked at our chair gone by the door. Too heavy. I looked at Meemaw’s bag.
Slow slow I crawled out from dinosaur land. Everything under was wet. Wet as a swamp. Inflatable trees volcanoes gone to flatness. I crawled over.
Cold wet. Sticky trousers on my legs. I crawled past Meemaw’s tooth. I thinked pick it up. But too much wrong. I didn’t touch.
Meemaw’s bag by the sofa. I slided in my hand.
Gzzz gzzz Karen breathed. Still asleep. Asleep still.
Tried not to look at Meemaw. Not to. I was scared a sound would come. Scared of a cry. Then would be little shit and hurt me.
My fingers finded each thing in the bag. Plums, Babybels of their net, precious things box, the new phone. I taked it out.
I crawled back under. Back into dinosaur world. I hided the phone. I pushed new phone under the flatted volcano. Sticky not too wet.
Noise came of moving. Karen sitted up.
Ugh! Christ! Baby, wake up!
Karen pulled Meemaw. Rocked rocked Meemaw. But then Meemaw still again. Like asleep.
Karen heaved up. Up came the mighty beast.
Christ. Oh, Jesus Christ…
She leaned by the sink and then came a sicky. Sicky sick in the sink. Some runned down the cupboard front. Went on her sock.
She turned round. Spiked me with the blue eyes. Blue eyes in pink eyes.
Don’t touch her. Stay there. I’m watching you.
Karen went in the bathroom. Leaved the door open. She pulled down had a wee. Standed up. Tug tugged her jeans. One hand.
Karen runned the tap. She putted her red blood arm under. Water runned all over it the teared arm.
Fuckshitchristfuck…
She grabbed our yellow towel fast. Pushed it on her arm. She leaned on the wall.
Then sudden her knees folded and Karen falled down. Down like a chopped tree she falled. Eyes shut. Still. Still like asleep. On the bathroom floor. Eyes closed. Not looking at me.
I pulled out the phone. It was alight of working. Charged.
I looked. There was YouTube. There was BBC news music Google. All not a help. Not for a emergency.
I touched contacts. Contacts was names. Up and down went letters of names. I didn’t know.
Then library. Library. It was two greens and a orange and it said number.
I thinked a message is typing I can do. I didn’t know it how though.
I touched a green of the phone. Far inside it came a brrr brrr. Brrr brr then a mouse’s voice so small.
Hello?
I holded the phone next to my face. I have never done but seen Meemaw. I looked at Karen. Eyes closed. Not looking at me.
Hello.
Hello, Burgess Hill Library, can I help you?
Hello. Yes you can help me.
Do you have your borrower number please?
WSC80145672.
Danny? Is that you, Danny? This is Jane. How can I help you?
I think Meemaw is gone to dead.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
The thing of here is the bed is always a bed. It smells of stinky sweet. New sheets each every night. It crunkles.
It’s because of wees come in the night Ruth has it the crunkle sheet. It’s under the other one. And a crunkle duvet. She said then it doesn’t matter. She said we could wee for England on her beds and it doesn’t matter. That was a joke wee for England. She laughed.
First night in this house I said not one word. Not even when Ruth taked off my clothes. No one has ever done except Meemaw but I was all in wee so I knowed she must. The borrow pyjamas of red blue a giraffe on the front were wet. Meemaw would take them off.
Anyway that was a lie I telled about no one else ever. That was a lie because the nurse at the hospital.
That day at the hospital was the nurse. Even then the doctor lady. Doctor lady looked right at my bot. My actual bot in a place of just a curtain. I went away. I do it lots.
All Danny goes away. I’m not there. I look at things very close and they go more real and Danny is gone.
Bathroom wall here is shiny bricks. Wall of grey shines. Overlappy overlappy overlappy. I count. They are very safe. Special.
Ruth lets me hold Spiney in the bath. Better than at hospital. Nurse tried taking Spiney.
Let’s just give him a wipe over.
I screamed.
Screamed loud. She letted go. She was yellow hair and too black round her eyes.
It is today five days of no Meemaw. But she is not dead.
In the second day I telled Ruth not Mummy. Ruth is slow. Ruth has brown brown eyes. Almost to black. Like inside something. I telled her Meemaw. She has not forgetted.
She has my pictures safe. Comics I have done in a folder. She writed For Meemaw on the front. Then I writed too. I have writed more more words for Meemaw here. They are not all exactly but they are good.
Ruth looks at me. Sometimes I go in the bathroom and shut the door because too much. Too much looking. No slidey silver lock here but I shut the door. Ruth waits. Sometimes calls.
You okay in there, Danny? Fancy some toast?
Ruth does it right the toast. On the first time she holded the knife above. I showed her the two cuts. This way that way to make the four.
I think Ruth is not evil. Sometimes she says too much of words to me. But mostly quiet.
Sometimes I think it. I think of the ambulance came and that day.
They taked us to the hospital of the tortoise man. Meemaw on a lying down. Me a different lying down.
They splitted us apart away down the long corridor. I screamed. They holded me on it the lying down. I screamed the long corridor.
It was walls of animals. Not real animals. Animals of a cartoon.
There were all bright talking. Danny Danny Danny is it?
Doctor lady had fingers of rubbery. Of tentacles of a sea creature.
She touched me. I go away.
They said go to Ruth’s house. I didn’t know of it. But first to see Meemaw.
Pants and joggers and a t-shirt all not mine. Wrong smell and a scratchy neck.
It was big steps along. A lady holding hands. I hated hated but didn’t let go. I thinked they will chase anyway. And I must go to see my Meemaw.
Meemaw was in the place of the tortoise man we were before. Tortoise man was not there. Gone hiding in his shell. He was a enemy I thinked. He looked not but he was a enemy. He maked Karen come to our flat again.
Another blue pyjamas man telled me Meemaw not dead. He lifted me. A good smell of him.
Come on then. We’ll go to see her. You just hold on to me, Danny. We’ll see your mummy in here.
Darkly in the room he telled. Not bright talking. Slow quiet the words.
High above my Meemaw I was and her lying down.
Never before I was so high above and my Meemaw lying.
That’s just the tube helping her to breathe and the machines telling us all about her body. So we can take care of her. We’re looking after her now, Danny.
Meemaw’s chest filled up to high. Down to low. Breathing. Breathing is not dead.
Tale of a Tooth Page 21