by Keeland, Vi
“It’s out! It’s out!” Birdie echoed, tears streaming down her face.
Magdalene went to pick the culprit up off the floor. It was a tiny rubber ball, no bigger than the size of a half-dollar.
I’d never been so scared in my life. Poor Birdie was so frightened. I hadn’t really had any time to think about what almost happened.
“You saved Marmaduke’s life,” Birdie cried as she wrapped her arms around the dog’s neck and pressed her cheek against his face. The dog seemed unfazed by what could have happened to him.
I bent down to comfort her. “I only did what anyone would’ve done in that situation.”
Magdalene had her hand on her chest, seeming more rattled than any of us. “I wouldn’t have known what to do, Sadie. Thank goodness you were here.”
The baritone voice from behind literally shook me. “What the hell is going on? Why is Birdie crying?”
No one had noticed until he’d spoken that Sebastian had come home.
Birdie ran to her father. “Daddy, Sadie saved Marmaduke’s life! He was choking on a ball, and she did the hymen remover.”
Did she just say “hymen remover”? Clearly, she meant Heimlich maneuver. I would’ve laughed had he not been giving me the death stare.
Sebastian squinted in confusion. “Who’s Sadie?”
She pointed to me and started talking so fast. “The trainer! She just uses Gretchen for work. Her real name is Sadie, and Marmaduke swallowed the small ball I’d gotten out of the gumball machine at the supermarket the other day. Sadie did this thing to him and it came out. I was so scared. I thought he was gonna die.”
“It was really pretty amazing, Mr. Maxwell,” Magdalene said.
Sebastian looked to me and then back at Birdie before bending down to rub the dog on the head, seeming a bit shaken now that he’d fully absorbed what had just happened.
He looked up at me. “You used the Heimlich maneuver on him?”
God, I didn’t even know what I did. I just remembered the steps from that video and stepped into action.
“Something like that, yes.”
Still kneeling down, Sebastian wrapped his arms around his daughter. “You okay?”
She nodded. “Yes.”
My eyes focused on his strong hands as he rubbed her back.
“Why don’t you go into the kitchen with Magdalene and have her give you some cookies and milk.” He looked at me as he stood up straight. “Can I have a moment with you, please?”
“Me?” I stupidly said.
“Yes.”
Who the hell else?
“Sure.” I turned to Birdie. “In case I don’t see you again before I leave, it was great meeting you, Birdie.”
“See you next week, Sadie. Don’t kiss any ugly boys.”
I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I might not see her next week.
Wait . . . “might”? Now I was doubting whether I was going to cut things off after today?
I followed Sebastian into his office. It was as intimidating as he was, with dark wood and a dark-brown leather chair behind his large desk.
We stood a good few feet across from each other, and before he could say anything, I started to stammer.
“S-she was just . . . I write for a dating column. I told her that. She . . . That’s why she said that about kissing boys.” I cringed over my own words.
“You’re a writer?”
“Yes. The dog-training thing is . . . extra.”
It’s extra, alright.
He nodded and contemplated my admission for a moment before rubbing his eyes.
“The last thing I needed in this house was that dog. I’d put my foot down for years about not getting one. I work too many damn hours and can hardly keep my daughter alive and healthy, let alone bringing what’s closer to a horse into this house.”
“I understand. It’s a lot of responsibility.”
“My daughter had been asking for a Great Dane named Marmaduke for I don’t even know how long. I had no intentions of making that dream come true. But a few weeks back, for some reason, she became convinced that her dead mother was mad at her for some things she’d done. I honestly don’t know where she gets some of these ideas. All I know is that the one thing she really wants most, more than a dog, more than anything . . . I’ll never be able to give her. And that’s to have her mother back.”
He paused. Tears were starting to form in my eyes, but I did my best to fight them as he continued.
“So I did something that probably in retrospect was a very stupid thing. I got her the exact dog she wanted. I’d looked everywhere for the right black-and-white-spotted Great Dane—minus the different-colored eyes—she wanted. I told her that her mother had come to me in a dream, that she’d told me to get the dog but to let Birdie know that just because she’s not getting signs doesn’t mean her mom’s mad.” He stared off and shook his head. “I basically lied to my daughter to take away her sadness. I’ve somehow convinced myself that lying for the good of making someone happy cancels the lie out.”
Wow.
And that, Mr. Maxwell, is precisely why I am standing before you at this very moment.
“I understand that more than you know,” I said, swallowing.
“Anyway, things have been better with her since that damn dog arrived, aside from the fact that he wakes me up with a sticky face every day. But that’s my problem. My point is . . . I can’t imagine what we would’ve done if anything had happened to that animal today. Not only for the dog’s sake but for my daughter’s. I’m very grateful you were here.”
My cheeks felt hot as he stared into my eyes. The power of his emotions was almost too much for me to handle.
I cleared my throat. “Like I told Birdie, anyone would’ve done the same thing.”
His eyes seared into mine, seeming to challenge my feeble attempt to downplay what had happened.
“I doubt Magdalene would’ve known what to do. The fact that you were here saved that dog’s life.”
“Well, I’m really glad I was . . . here, then.”
He chewed his bottom lip a bit, then added, “I also want to apologize for being short with you when you arrived last week. I was having a bad day for more reasons than one. But that’s no excuse.”
“Well, I was . . . late, so I understand.”
He said nothing as he slipped his hands into his pockets and continued to look at me. His apology came as a surprise. It proved Sebastian was definitely not the insensitive jerk he appeared to be during our initial meeting. He had a vulnerable side. I could see that now. He was a man who wanted to protect his daughter from having to experience another tragedy.
I got the urge to comfort him, to assure him that I understood how difficult it was for a widower dad to take on the responsibility of single fatherhood. After all, I’d lived that life through my father’s eyes.
But I wouldn’t say anything. Because at this point in time, I was simply overwhelmed by the power of his stare and felt the need to flee.
“Anyway, I’d better get going.”
He nodded. “I’ll send your payment to the PayPal address you gave me.”
“Thank you.”
As I walked out of his office, I still had no clue how I was supposed to break it to them that I wasn’t coming back. Before I exited out the door, though, I did feel compelled to turn around and say one last thing to him.
“For the record, Mr. Maxwell, from the small amount of time I’ve seen you and gotten to know your daughter, I can tell you that I think you’re doing an amazing job. I’m not just saying that, either. You have an incredible daughter, and that’s undoubtedly due to the kind of father you are.”
He blinked a few times, and I didn’t think he was going to respond, so I continued my way out the door.
His voice stopped me.
“Sadie.”
I turned around. “Yeah?”
“Call me Sebastian.” He paused, then flashed a genuine smile. “And . . . danke.”
CHAPTER 9
SADIE
Number of times per week you enjoy coitus.
I chewed the end of my pen while I mulled over yet another tough question. That really depends, doesn’t it? I mean, is he good and gets me to my happy place before crossing the finish line himself? I had to assume that, since I was seeking my ideal mate, they were asking about how things would be with him and not some three-pump chump. My mind wandered to Sebastian. That man had a definite edge to him. There was no way he wouldn’t deliver the goods.
I sighed. I’d decided to take advantage of my free matchmaking trial to get my mind off Sebastian Maxwell. Yet he seemed to pop into my head as I pondered every intrusive question.
Describe your ideal mate’s physical appearance.
I closed my eyes and thought about what type of man I was attracted to, then jotted down the description that came to mind. Tall, broad-shouldered, green eyes, chiseled jaw, strong forearms, and a wide alpha-male stance. Good God. The only thing missing were the gold flecks in Sebastian’s eyes. I really needed to hop off the Maxwell train.
Preferred primary residence location.
Duh. A brownstone on the Upper West Side, of course. Though, in my defense, I would’ve answered that one the same even before meeting a certain someone.
What song did you last sing in private?
Oh jeez. I might have to lie about this one. I’d been feeling a little down this morning, so before I went in the shower, I cranked up an oldie but goodie and twerked to Sir Mix-a-Lot while I shampooed my hair. I was pretty certain we all liked big butts, but it didn’t make a very appealing match profile. So I went with something a little more mature—Lewis Capaldi’s “Someone You Loved” and then wasted time thinking about what type of music Sebastian might like. For some reason, I pegged him as a country fan—all those songs about lost women and dogs seemed to fit him. Though, oddly, I got the distinct feeling that Sebastian would be more intrigued by a woman who sang Sir Mix-a-Lot rather than Lewis Capaldi.
Complete this sentence: I wish I had someone with whom I could share . . .
My immediate response was to write everything. But I thought that might make me sound too needy. So I toned it down a little, yet still went with something that was true and had a bit more personality sprinkled in: cold pasta and laughs at two am.
The clickety-clack sound of a woman’s heels alerted me that Devin was coming down the hall, so I quickly hid the matchmaker questionnaire under some papers.
“Coffee time.” She breezed into my office. “You want the usual?”
“Yeah. That would be great. I’m really dragging this afternoon.”
“Oh? Do anything interesting last night?”
Since I didn’t categorize watching dog-training videos as interesting, I shook my head. “Nah. Just woke up early and couldn’t fall back asleep.”
Devin looked down at my desk. “What are you working on?”
“Copyedits for next month’s articles.”
“Mm-hmm.” She squinted at me. “Okay . . . well. It’s my turn to pay for coffee, so I’ll be back in a jiff.”
“Sounds good, thanks.”
Devin turned toward the door and then back to me. “Actually . . . I forgot my wallet. Can I borrow twenty dollars?”
“Yeah, sure.” I got out of my chair and walked over to the cabinet under the window where I kept my purse. As soon as I dug in to find my wallet, Devin snatched the pile of papers from atop my desk.
My eyes narrowed. “What the hell are you doing?”
“Copyedits my ass.” She started to riffle through the papers in her hands. I attempted to grab them, but she pulled back too quickly for me.
“Give me that!”
She dug a few pages down into the pile and then yanked out a page. “Aha! I knew you were doing something you didn’t want me to see.”
“You’re crazy.”
She started to read the paper aloud. “Bloom Matchmaking Services. Boutique services for elite singles.” Devin rolled her eyes. “Let me translate. ‘Boutique’ equals ‘expensive.’ ‘Elite singles’ equals ‘a bunch of stuffy assholes who think they’re too good for Match.com or the bar scene.’”
“It’s research for an article.”
“So why did you just lie to me and tell me you were working on copyedits?”
“Because of exactly what you’re doing at this very moment. You blow everything out of proportion.”
Devin was too busy scanning the sheet for clues to even hear my defense. She smirked when she looked up. “The description of your ideal mate sounds very familiar.”
“I’ve always liked tall with dark hair.”
She arched a brow. “With good bone structure, green eyes, and a wide stance?”
“Who doesn’t like that?”
“Uh-huh. So you weren’t describing Sebastian Maxwell on this form?”
“Absolutely not.”
She flipped over the page and looked at the questions I’d answered earlier this morning. “How many children does your ideal mate have? Zero to one? Since when are you in the market for a single dad? This is the first time I’ve heard about this.”
I grabbed the papers out of her hands. “Don’t you have a job to do? Or coffee to mainline into your vein or something?”
“You need to just ask him out and you know it.”
“Yes. That’s exactly what I need to do. Because the foundation of any good relationship starts off with a series of lies about . . . let’s see . . . my name, occupation, and relationship with his only child. It was obviously meant to be. We’ll probably be married by Christmas.”
Devin sighed. “Why don’t you just come clean, then? Tell him the truth.”
“And then what? Ask him out on a date?”
She shrugged. “Sure. Why not?”
“Because he’ll go ballistic on me if he finds out. He bought an unruly Great Dane that is driving him crazy because his daughter suddenly became convinced her dead mother was mad at her for something she’d done. That was all my fault, Devin. I made a child think Santa Claus had a direct line to a dead woman.”
“But you meant well.”
“I’m sure Sebastian Maxwell won’t see it that way.”
“Well, you’ll never know unless you tell him, will you?”
I sighed and shook my head. “I could really use that coffee.”
Devin nodded. “Fine. I’m going. But think about it, Sadie. There’re eight million people in this little city of ours and somehow you wound up meeting this guy. Maybe it started out wrong, but maybe there’s a reason you two met.”
After Devin left, I crumpled up the matchmaking application I’d been filling out. The truth of the matter was, I had no desire to go on any date. Devin was right. I had a real thing for Sebastian. And it wasn’t just that he was ridiculously handsome. He had a soft side that he reserved for his daughter. I was certain that his wife had been privy to that side of him, too. There was something just so beautiful about a man who saved the best parts of himself for the women in his life. I knew . . . because he reminded me of another man I adored. God, Freud would have a damn field day with me.
I decided to come clean. Shockingly, Devin had been right. Since the very first letter from Birdie, something had felt like kismet. Like I was supposed to meet her and her father for a reason. Of course, it helped that once I did, the man was insanely handsome. But a part of me truly felt like even if Sebastian Maxwell hadn’t turned out to be gorgeous, I’d still be drawn to him. My attraction went deeper than the surface. I was also well aware that I was bringing parts of my own history into my fascination with his little family—but isn’t that how life works? Our hearts are made up of all different broken pieces that belong to others, and when we find the right one, they show us how they can all fit together again.
Maybe I was reaching too far and being too philosophical, but the bottom line was . . . I’d run the dating gauntlet enough times to know that when someone comes along and m
akes you feel butterflies, you need to chase them. Because it doesn’t happen very often.
So I decided that after today’s training session, I was going to ask Sebastian to speak to him privately and then come clean. Chances are he’d freak out and never want to see me again. But at this point, I couldn’t keep up the lies anymore. It wasn’t fair to me, or to him and his daughter. And if there was a shot in hell that maybe something could happen between us, I couldn’t have that built on a foundation of lies.
My palms started to sweat as I got closer to the Maxwell brownstone. I was so damn nervous. A part of me hoped that Sebastian wouldn’t be around today, just so I could delay going through with it. Last time I’d trained Marmaduke, only Magdalene and Birdie had been home. When I arrived at the house, I took a deep breath and prayed that was the case today.
The walk up the stairs to the front door felt a lot like walking the plank. I shook out my tingling hands and then forced myself to knock. A few seconds later, I saw shadows on the other side and held my breath as the handle started to turn.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t Magdalene.
“Mr. . . . umm . . . Sebastian . . . I didn’t expect you to answer the door.”
He folded his arms across his chest and squinted at me. “No? Why is that, Sadie?”
Was it me or did he just say my name weird? Or maybe my nerves were getting the best of me. Picking imaginary lint off my pants to avoid his intense stare, I cleared my throat. “I . . . uhh . . . thought you’d be at work. Last time I came on this day, Magdalene was here.”
His mouth slid to a wicked smile. “I took the afternoon off. Thought you and I could have a little training session. Just the two of us.”
A giant lump formed in my throat. Shit. Now I had no choice but to come clean. I’d left it up to fate, and fate couldn’t smack me in the face more than it was doing right now. This man who worked six days a week had miraculously taken the day off to spend time with me. Alone. “Umm. Okay. That’s good.”
He stepped back, opening the door wide. “Come in. I’d like to start the training inside today, if that’s alright with you.”
It wasn’t. Not at all. Stepping over the threshold made me feel claustrophobic. At least being outside, I had a place to run. The door suddenly slammed closed behind me and I jumped.