by Bec Botefuhr
“Don’t tense like that, fuck Willow.”
“Please,” I whisper. “Just don’t touch me.”
Jagger stares painfully at me, then turns and stares out the window. He talks to Angel and Ace as we drive home. When we pull up, he stares at the beach house and emotion flickers across his expression.
“You live here?”
“Yes.” I say simply.
He nods and slides out of the car. I slide out after him and then go around to unbuckle Cody. I take him my arms and walk inside, not looking back at Jagger. I can’t. I feel like I’m going to be sick. When I get in, Ava, Jenny, Rusty and Bull leap up.
“How’d it go?” They all ask.
When Jagger walks through the door, I hear the gasps. I keep walking down the hall. I hear more hugging and mutters of happiness. I get into my room, slam the door and put Cody on the bed. I clamp my eyes shut and swallow down my tears. I have to do this. When he’s safe, I’ll be able to move on with my life. I have to believe that. I have to. A gentle knock sounds out, and I turn to see Ava step in the room.
“Hey beautiful, are you ok?”
I shake my head and bite my lip. She rushes over and wraps her arms around me.
“It’s going to be ok. I know it’s hard, but at least he’s ok.”
“I know.”
“We can get through this, we have to.”
“I know that too.”
“You want to go for a run? I’ll take Cody.”
I nod. “I would, I need to clear my head.”
She sits with me while I change, and then she lifts Cody into her arms and we walk out into the hall. When we get into the living area, everyone is sitting down. Jagger stares at me when I walk out, but I refuse to look at him. I can’t, not right now. I’m barely holding it together.
“I’m going for a run, I’ll be back soon.”
Ace gives me a sympathetic smile. “We’ll talk about the plan when you get back.”
“No, fill him in. I…I know enough.”
I turn and walk out the door before he can say anymore. I hear Jagger call my name, but I don’t stop. When I hit the sand, I run. I flat out sprint, pumping my legs until I can’t feel anything else but the burning pain in my muscles. I round the rocks at the left end of the beach and then stop. I lean over and grip my knees, panting and heaving. When I hear footsteps behind me, I spin around. Jagger is panting and heaving too, he kept up with me and I didn’t even hear him.
“Please, just leave me alone.”
“Willow, can we talk?”
“No,” I shriek, “we can’t talk. I have nothing to say to you.”
“Just let me speak.”
“NO!” I scream. “No, I gave you a chance to speak and you threatened my life.”
“I HAD NO CHOICE!” he roars.
“Liar,” I cry, “you never cared about me, did you? It was all just a big fuck fest!”
“That’s not true.” He grates out in a harsh tone.
“Really, then why are you fucking her again?”
“I’m not.”
“BULLSHIT! I was on the phone that day, don’t you dare lie to me.”
“I knew it was you, I knew it was you and I said that because I hoped you wouldn’t come back. I was trying to protect you. I haven’t and wouldn’t lay a hand on Sharleen.”
I lift my hand and I punch him. He growls in pain as he stumbles backwards.
“How could you?” I whisper, my voice has disappeared. “I was trying to help. Did you really think I’d never come for you? We have a son, I was never going to just move on. How dare you.”
I turn and run towards the water. I haven’t been in the water since I’ve lived here, but right now it’s calling me.
“Willow!”
I dive in. Salt water burns my eyes as I swim harder and faster out to the deep blue. A hand wraps around my leg, pulling me backwards and in a moment I’m in a hard set of arms, pressed against a hard, warm chest. I cry and thrash, punching and hitting him until I’m too weak and my punches become sluggish, slow motion, pathetic attempts at inflicting pain.
“I’m sorry. Every day Willow, I thought about you every day. My life has been empty. I lost everything when I lost you.”
Tears are thundering down my cheeks. “I’ve barely kept my head above water, Cody was the only thing that kept me going.”
He doesn’t answer, instead he tangles his hand into my hair and pulls me forward. His lips close over mine in a desperate, passionate kiss. I groan and open my mouth to him. Months I have imagined this kiss, imagined tasting him again. Imagined how he would smell, how he would feel. His tongue connects with mine and I groan, wrapping my legs around his waist.
He tastes of Jagger and salt water, but it’s bliss. His stitches are scratchy against my lips but I don’t care. All I care about is him. He makes a ragged, groaning noise and pulls away. We stare at each other, and neither of us needs to speak. We both know what we want, what we need. Jagger walks backwards until we are in the shallows. Then he drops me down onto the sand and falls over me.
The waves wash up over our bodies and I can taste the salt all over him as I lick and suck his neck. His hands move down my body and he finds my shorts. I whimper when he slides them to the side, not bothering to take them off. We both know what we want, and we don’t want foreplay. I need to feel him, just feel. It’s a very private part of the beach, but right now I don’t care. My mind is on one thing and one thing only, him.
He presses his forehead against mine as he shifts and tears down his jeans. When he’s freed himself, he moves my leg to the side, holds my shorts to the other side and slides inside me in one, hard thrust. I cry out, a pinch of pain jolts through my body, but it’s soon replaced with scorching, desperate pleasure.
Jagger’s eyes are closed, but I taste a drop of warm, salty water that I know didn’t come from the ocean. I grip his face as he jerks his hips backwards and then plunges back in.
“Every fucking second. Every fucking minute. I never stopped thinking about you. My heart fucking died without you Willow, it broke in half and it died. I died. I lost my moment, I lost my reason for living.”
I grip his shoulders as he jerks his hips back and plunges desperately inside me over and over.
“Jagger, I love you, I love…oh god.”
He tilts my pelvis upwards and drives his thrusts deeper. Water is still flowing up and it fills my ears every few moments, before draining back out again. My body sinks into the sand as Jagger drives harder and faster. Pleasure explodes through me as I rise higher and higher towards my release.
“Hold on,” Jagger grunts. “Hold on baby, nearly there.”
“I can’t, oh god…”
“Hold on.”
His thrusts become desperate, our skin slaps together and waters sloshes around us. The veins in his neck bulge and his jaw is tight.
“Now, fuck, now.”
I erupt and scream out his name as a mind shattering orgasm takes over. Jagger roars his release and I can feel him pulsing deep and hard inside me. Our cries blend together and are carried off in the wind, like they are no more than a lonely grain of sand. Jagger’s head drops and his forehead rests against mine again. We stay like that for long moments, just staring at each other.
When Jagger jerks his hips, I feel my eyes widen. He’s hard again and oh, the feeling of his cock sliding in and out of my damp heat again is mind blowing. I groan and my eyes flick towards his, he’s lifted his head and is staring at me now. His eyes are intense, passionate and deep. So much he wants to say, so much he can’t. He slides back into me, then pulls out and repeats the blissful process.
“Jagger,” I whimper. “Someone could see.”
“Fuck it, I don’t care. I care about anything but you right now. Let them see, let them see how much I need you. How much I crave you. How much I fucking love you.”
Love me? Oh god. I close my eyes and a silent tear slides down my cheek. Jagger kisses it away and continues
to move his hips. I arch up to him, moaning and gripping his back as he gently picks up the pace. He grips my top and lifts it, sliding my bra aside so he can close his mouth over my nipple. I groan and spread my legs wider as his thrusts become more desperate.
“Fuck, Jagger, more…please.”
He uses his free hand to tilt my hips upwards as he drives desperately in and out. The waves continue to wash over us and the moment is perfect. It is everything I could have ever wanted our reunion to be. As I begin shuddering around him once more, his groans fill my ears and tip me over the edge. I cry out and cling to him as he drives every last delicious shudder from my body. A moment later, he grunts and his own release follows once more.
This time, he sits back and slides out of me. He jerks his pants up and pulls my shorts back into place, and then he grips my hands and pulls me up, crushing me to his chest and holding me so tightly that my breathing becomes labored but I don’t care. All I need is him.
“I’m so sorry baby, I left you alone, I left you to raise our son by yourself.”
I shake my head. “No, you were brave and strong and you saved me from a terrible outcome. You should never be sorry for what you did, Jagger.”
“You did it alone, all by yourself.”
I pull back and meet his gaze. “I survived, Jenny and Ava made sure of it.”
“He’s perfect Willow, so fucking perfect.”
I smile and swallow at the same time. “I know,” I whisper.
“Come on, we should get back. I only have two days and I plan to make the most of it.”
“I can’t bear it,” I whisper, “I can’t bear you going back.”
“I have to baby,” he soothes. “I don’t get a choice.”
“If something happens to you Jagger, I…
“Nothing will happen,” he interrupts. “I will come back to you and I will get us out of this mess.”
I nod, biting my lip. He smiles and flicks it. “Stop that, come on.”
We stand and we’re both soaked and covered in grainy sand. Gee, I wonder if they’ll figure out what happened? I roll my eyes and take Jagger’s hand, and we begin walking back to my house.
“Why Florida?” Jagger asks.
I shrug. “I wanted away, I just couldn’t deal with living in LA any longer.”
“I get it.”
“It was just damn lucky your fight was in Florida this month, I’m sure it was meant to be.”
He nods. “I think so.”
When we arrive back at the house hand in hand, everyone seems to slump in relief. I guess with Jagger and I fighting the plan wouldn’t be very effective. Angel walks over and slaps Jagger on the back. I let go of his hand and walk into the kitchen where Jenny and Ava are feeding Cody. I smile and take the spoon, and Cody grins at me. I scoop a spoon full of the rice pudding and slide it into his mouth.
“How are you feeling?” Ava asks.
I smile. “As good as can be expected I guess, he has to go back but at least now I know I have a greater chance of getting him back.”
Jenny rubs my shoulder. “He looks pretty good Willow, considering.”
I smile and stare over at Jagger who is laughing with Rusty. “Yeah, he does.”
Jagger looks up and meets my gaze, and he winks at me. I smile and look back down at Cody.
“So…you two look nice and…wet.” Ava smirks.
I give her my best glare, but she knows I don’t mean it. “We went for a swim.”
“Is that what it’s called now days?”
I grin at her just as Jagger walks into the kitchen. The girls wiggle their brows at me and I shoot them a scowl.
“Hey little man,” Jagger says, taking the spoon from me.
Cody grins at him, and I see Jagger’s face soften.
“He looks just like you,” Jenny smiles, leaning against the counter.
Jagger looks up at her, then to me. “You think?”
I raise my brows. “Are you blind?”
He chuckles and lifts Cody into his arms. “No, not blind.”
“He’s a beauty,” Ace says, walking into the kitchen.
“Yeah, congrats man. He’s a real cutie.” Angel adds, wrapping his arms around Ava.
I smile and for the first time in months I feel like I might just have a chance to put my family back together.
CHAPTER 9
WILLOW
Hot lips slide up my thighs and a set of hard hands push my legs apart. Then I’m drowning in sensation as a tongue flickers over my clit, causing me to arch my back and fist the sheets. God, if I could wake up like this every day. I flick my eyes open and realize it’s not day, in fact, the room is dark and the house is quiet. That tongue flicks across my clit again and I groan, deep and low.
Jagger tilts my hips to drive his tongue deeper into my heat and I explode, murmuring his name and thrashing beneath his hold. He slowly slides up my body, licking my belly button, then up my stomach until he finds my hard nipples. He sucks and bites each one until I’m panting and begging for release once more. When his hot, hard body finally settles over mine, I take his face in my hands and I kiss him.
He tastes like me…and him. It’s an erotic taste and seems to do good things to him, because he starts to groan and his hands fist into my hair as he deepens the kiss until we’re so tangled in each other I don’t know where he ends and I begin. We’re a mass of arms and legs, bodies and lips. He shifts his hips to widen my legs and then he’s inside me, deep, full and oh so fucking perfect.
He releases my mouth and thrusts into me with slow, measured strokes. Then he flips us over in one quick movement until I’m straddling him. He takes my hips in his hands and he slowly begins rotating them backwards and forwards. His groans spur me on and I begin following the rhythm until he’s mumbling my name and whispering delicious curses.
“Talk to me,” I whisper. “Let me hear that dirty mouth I love so much.”
He groans and then he begins talking, and oh god, it’s my undoing.
“So fucking wet, so fucking tight. Your little pussy is squeezing my cock, and oh god baby, it feels so fucking good. I want to fuck you until you can’t breathe. I’ll never get enough. I’ll never get enough of that beautiful little cunt milking me…fuck…I’m going to come. Come with me, fuck Willow, come with me.”
I explode and I hear his guttural groan as he does too. I can feel him pulsing inside me and I realize how much I’ve missed this. When I roll off and fall beside him, we’re both panting. Neither of us speaks for a long moment, but I decide to break the silence. “I see nothing changes, you’re still as dirty as you were before.”
He chuckles. “Baby, you make me dirty.”
“Jagger?”
“Hmmmm?”
“Can I call you, when you’re gone?”
He’s silent a long moment. “I’ll call you, it’s less risky that way.”
“Jagger?”
He chuckles. “Yes baby?”
“Have you had any other women?”
He’s silent again for a long moment. “Once…nearly.”
“Nearly?” I whisper, trying to clench down the jealousy in my heart.
“I was drunk, angry and she hit on me after a fight. I didn’t fuck her Willow, I couldn’t…but…other things happened.”
“Like?” I whisper.
“Look, it doesn’t matter, I hardly remember it.”
“It matters to me!” I bark.
“Willow…”
“Jagger, please.”
“She wanted to suck me off, but I didn’t want her touching me so I…gave her oral sex.”
Ouch. Fucking ouch. My heart clenches painfully and I make a strangled, gasping sound. Jagger rolls and flicks on the lamp, then he turns to me. I look away, feeling tears well in my eyes.
“Willow, I thought I’d never see you again. I thought you would move on and fall in love. I was crushed. I was drunk all the time. I was lonely. It was horrible and I didn’t let her touch me, nor did I fuck her
. I wouldn’t do that.”
I swallow and nod as a tear slides down my cheek. He swipes it away with his thumb.
“Baby, it did nothing for me. Do you understand? I did it for her, because I felt bad that I couldn’t even…get aroused. It wasn’t what you think.”
I nod, taking his face in my hands and kissing him softly. I understand, because there’s parts of me that have screamed for comfort at times, and if I was drunk enough maybe I would have taken it too. “Never again?” I whisper.
“God, no, I learned that the hard way, I won’t do it again.”
I nod and wrap his arms around me. I nestle into his chest and just breathe him in. I can’t say I’m happy about what happened with another woman, but at the same time part of me understands it. He thought he was never going to see me again. I know how that feels and I know the loneliness it can bring. I close my eyes and drift off to sleep once more, just breathing him in.
~*~*~*~
WILLOW
I wake before Jagger in the morning and much to my delight, he’s lying on his back with his hands behind his head, sleeping soundly. The sheet has ridden down and his bare chest is showing, as well as that delectable ‘V’ near his pelvis. I reach out and gently stroke the satin smooth skin stretched over taut muscle. Jagger is bigger now, but he’s still just as beautiful. He has new scars on his chest, I run my finger over the raised skin and a pang of pain hits my heart.
All this for me? I close my eyes a moment, then I re-open them and stare down at Jagger with need. I tug the sheet gently, and it slides further down his body. I see the swell of his penis head peek out from under the sheet as it rests heavily against his stomach, half hard and beautiful. I stroke my finger over the soft skin and the silver piercings, and Jagger groans lightly in his sleep. I wonder…
I lie down and gently rest my head on his stomach, he shifts a little but doesn’t wake. I wrap my hand gently around his length and then slide my mouth forward and close it over the head. He swells instantly in my mouth and I feel his breathing become deeper. I turn my head slightly and see that his eyes are still closed, and as far as I know, he’s still asleep. Interesting – I wonder if I can make him come like this?