by Bec Botefuhr
“No, you’re strong, brave and beautiful. You’re everything he needs and more.”
“What if…when I come back…”
“Hey,” I say, touching his cheek. “Don’t you start doubting yourself now, Jagger.”
He nods and kisses Cody’s cheeks. “Be a good little man for mommy, she’s doin’ it tough little fella.”
Cody looks at Jagger, stares him right in the eye. Then he giggles and shoves a fist into his mouth. Jagger snorts.
“Real charmer.”
I laugh. “He’s beautiful.”
Jagger nods. “Yeah, he’s fuckin’ perfect.”
“Language, Black!”
He gives me a little grin just as Jenny re-appears. He looks hesitant to give Cody over.
“We can keep him here...” I suggest.
Jagger closes his eyes. “No, you need this as much as I do. I just hate givin’ him up.”
“Why don’t I just take him for a few hours then?” Jenny suggests.
Jagger looks to me, then to her. “Give us four?”
“Done.”
Jagger hands Cody over and I stand, kissing him.
“Call me Jen, if you need anything at all.”
“I’m just a few apartments down with Ace, he’ll be fine. Enjoy.”
She leaves and I stare at the door for a long while. When I turn to look back at Jagger, he’s staring at me. I suddenly feel a little awkward. It’s been a while since it’s just been just the two of us and I really don’t know what to do. Jagger stands and walks over.
“Nervous?”
I grin sheepishly, “A little.”
He leans down and presses his cheek to mine and whispers in my ear. “Don’t be, I won’t bite.”
I wrap my arms around him and press my body to his. “I hope you do though.”
He makes an mmmmm sound and nibbles softly at my neck. His stitches are scratchy but I don’t care, having him this close makes everything ok.
“You’re going to shower, and I’m going to start dinner.”
I pull back. “You’re not going to threaten me so I’ll cook for you?”
He narrows his eyes and I giggle, “Not funny yet?”
“Not quite, you know I never wanted to hurt you baby.”
“I know. So, you’re going to cook for me? Should I be afraid?”
A ghost of a smile plays around his lips and his eyes light up. “You should be very scared.”
I tilt my head to the side and grin prettily at him. “Oh?”
“Get to the shower, before I spank that cute little ass.”
“I’d like that.”
“Go!” he laughs, then winces.
I lean in and kiss around the stitches in his lip. “Poor baby,” I murmur against his skin.
“Go Willow, or I’ll fuck you. Period or not.”
“Ew.”
He slaps my ass when I turn and head down the hall. I go the entire way to our room smiling, and for the first time in a while, it’s real.
CHAPTER 14
WILLOW
I shower and shave everything, then I dress in some light shorts and a tank top. I’m grateful my period is pretty much over, but pissed it’s not over enough to have a dandy time with Jagger. When I walk out into the kitchen, I smell food cooking and my stomach grumbles for the first time in days. I see Jagger standing in the kitchen squinting at a piece of chicken, he looks so god dammed beautiful standing there like that.
His black shirt is stretched across that beautiful chest and his black jeans are just tight enough to let the imagination roll. I walk over and stop behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist. He pats my hand and then continues staring at the chicken. I want to ask him if he wants help but somehow I know that won’t do his ego any favors, so I just snuggle into him from behind. He spins around a moment later, takes my hips and turns me so I’m pressed against the bench. Then he lifts me and deposits me down onto it and nestles himself between my legs.
“You smell amazing, you’re not doing good for my self control.”
“I could always get on my knees and suck you while you cook.”
His eyes widen and grow lusty. “Baby, I’d love that but I have this all planned out and…”
“Oh do you now?”
He grins. “I do.”
“What’s the plan?”
“That’s a secret.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah oh, now sit there and look pretty while I cook.”
“What’re you cooking?”
He smiles at me, “Secret.”
“Lots of secrets tonight, Mr. Black?”
“You know it,” he says, focusing his attention back on the chicken.
I watch him slice it and some mushrooms, then he tosses them into a pan and I realize what he’s making. It was the first thing I ever made him. My tomato chicken with mushrooms.
“Tomato chicken…” I whisper.
He looks up at me. “Jenny told me how to do it, but I’m not sure I’m getting it right.”
“You are,” I smile.
“Don’t fancy helpin’?”
“Oh no, this ones yours big man.”
He grunts and continues cooking. I just stare at him. Creepy I know, but I just want to plant him in my memory and stare at that beautiful face for as long as I possibly can.
“So, Ace told me Huck has gotten some explosives ready…” Jagger says.
I raise my brows. “Oh?”
“I’m goin’ back next week babe, I’ll take them then.”
“Oh.”
He stops stirring and turns to me. “It’s just for a few days. Week tops.”
“Jagger, when…when…”
“No, I don’t touch any of the women.”
I look away. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have even thought it, I just…saw what went on over there.”
He puts the wooden spoon down and grips my chin. “Willow, I don’t blame you for asking. I know what you saw over there and…”
“It doesn’t matter, tonight isn’t about what I saw over there. I don’t want to waste another second talking about that when I could be having you.”
He gives me that gorgeous half smile and turns back to his cooking. I slide off the bench and set the table for him. When the food is ready we both sit down. He stares at the dish and looks at me cautiously as I take a mouthful. Oh yum. The creamy tomato sauce is beautiful and the pasta is perfect.
“Oh Jagger, yum.”
“Are you just sayin’ that?”
“Try it for yourself and see.”
He hesitantly takes a mouthful and his eyes widen. I smile at him and take another spoonful. I’m starving. I’ve hardly eaten. I gobble the food down and when I realize what I’ve done, I peek up at Jagger who’s grinning at me with a plate still half full.
“Hungry baby?”
I flush and look down. “Sorry, I haven’t eaten for a while and…”
“You’re not eating?” he interrupts.
“I do but,”
“What?”
“Jagger,” I warn gently. “I’m fine.”
“You should be eating, Willow.”
“I am, it’s just hard to when I feel like shit all the time.”
He narrows his eyes at me, but stiffly nods. When he’s finished he stands and clears the plates. I stand and am just about to turn around when he presses himself up against my back. One arm wraps around my waist and he leans into my ear.
“Shut your eyes.”
“Why?”
“Just do it.”
I shut my eyes and I feel his fingers slide up and over my lips. I lean my head back into his shoulder and sigh as he slides his finger gently over my face.
“Open your mouth.”
I part my lips and I feel him slide a square of chocolate into my mouth. I groan as it melts on my tongue. He rubs a little of the chocolate over my lips and then slips his finger into my mouth. I suck it gently and he makes a ragged sound behind me. His erection is p
ressing into my backside and he’s hard as stone. I moan when he slips another chocolate into my mouth, this time he spins me around and leans down, gently sliding his tongue out to lick the chocolate from my lips.
I want to kiss him, god, I want to kiss him but I can’t. I can’t even have sex with him. It’s killing me. “I want you Jagger,” I whimper.
“Do you trust me baby?”
“Yes, you know I do.”
“Then you’ll have me.”
I open my eyes and look up at him, “How?”
He takes my hand and leads me down the hall and into the main bathroom. I look at him confused. Does he think we’ll have sex in the shower because I’m still not ok with that? I open my mouth to protest but he cuts it off with his finger to my lips. I scan his face, and my eyes settle on his.
“Trust me.”
He steps forward and grips my tank top, sliding it over my head. He hisses when he sees I’m wearing no bra. Ok, if he wants to torture me, he’s going the right way about it. He reaches for my pants and I stop him.
“No Jagger, there’s just some things I can’t let you see.”
“I’ll turn. You do what you have to do and get into the shower. No arguments.”
He turns, not giving me a chance to protest. I quickly strip my clothes off and make sure I’m clear of all protection before slipping into the shower. I keep darting my eyes down to make sure there’s no blood, and while I can’t see any this isn’t really something I want to do. It’s awkward. Jagger steps in a moment later butt naked, and I gasp. Oh my my my. That body. I reach out to grip his chest but he catches my hand.
“Ah ah, my way baby.”
“That’s not fair.” I pout.
“Life’s not fair. Turn around.”
He spins me around so I’m facing the wall and then he reaches around and cups my breasts in his hands, gently kneading them. I groan and rest my forehead against the wall, taking in the delicious sensations of his fingers gently stroking my nipples. He leans down and gently grazes his lips over my neck and I shudder.
“Can I touch you there?” he murmurs.
“I…I…”
“I need you aroused, baby.”
“But…”
“Only your clit.”
Fuck, when he says that. I nod and he slides his hand down and finds my clit. He gently strokes it with one hand while the other teases my nipple. I groan and press myself back into him and find he’s hard and hot against my backside. Then I realize what is going to happen here. I lurch forward but he catches me with a hand around my waist.
“I won’t hurt you, I promise.”
“Jagger, I don’t know…last time…”
“If you want me to stop, I’ll stop.”
God, my body was alive for him right now and I wanted him so badly, but could I deal with that?
“Let me try?”
I nod, I don’t know why. I’m afraid, but I trust him and I need him. He presses a light kiss to my neck, then turns and steps out of the shower a moment. When he comes back, he’s got a tube in his hand. I stare over at it and swallow. His eyes flash to mine and he gives me a reassuring smile. God that smile, if it wasn’t for that smile I’d probably be running right now. I let my eyes move down over his erection and I lick my lips. God I need that.
“Put your hands on the wall baby,” he murmurs. “Yeah, like that.”
I am standing with my hands on the wall, and my legs slightly parted. He steps behind me and uses his foot to widen my stance. When he’s pressed up behind me again, I shudder.
“The water won’t wash this off ok, it’s water resistant. I’ll make this as easy as I can.”
I nod, biting my lip. His hands slide over me, gently stroking my skin. He finds my clit again and he begins gently stroking, licking my neck as he does. I clench and groan, feeling pleasure building inside me. When his finger slides around to that area, I tense.
“Hey, it’ll be ok,” he soothes.
When he slides a finger inside me, I jerk. He’s very gentle, very sweet. He strokes my clit, bringing my pleasure back to the edge once more. I moan when he begins moving his finger, and soon both his hands are working me over. I whimper as I am close to orgasm, god, I need him inside me. When he pulls his finger back and replaces it with his cock though, I tense again.
“You say stop, I’ll stop.”
He slides in a little and I whimper. He continues working my clit, rubbing and pinching until I’m gasping with need. He pushes in a little further and a feeling of fullness washes through me. Then, with one hard thrust he’s inside me. I cry out, pain shoots through my body.
“Shhh, it’ll get better.”
He rubs me gently, I’m wet and oh he feels so good. When I feel myself rising again, he begins to slowly move. The feeling is very different, not quite as pleasurable but very erotic all the same. He’s gentle with me, rocking his hips in a perfectly slow motion while he rubs my clit with his fingers. He wraps an arm around my waist and thrusts his hips a little deeper.
“Fuck, this won’t last long baby. Come for me.”
He rubs harder and I’m so close, god, I’m so close. He quickens his thrusting and I tip over the edge. I cry out as an orgasm tears through me, the different feeling is quite sensational. I hear Jagger groan a moment later and I feel him pulsing inside me in a very different way. I can feel every pulse of his cock as he releases. When he pulls back, I feel my legs turn to jelly.
“You ok?”
He’s supporting me with his arm still around my waist and my legs refuse to work. I’m comfortably numb and loving it. He scoops me up and carries me out of the shower, putting me down onto the bed. He wraps a towel around me and then sits, pulling me to his chest. He strokes a hand over my hair and nestles into me, just cuddling me for a long moment.
“You ok baby?” he asks again.
“Yeah, I’m ok.”
“Are you sore?”
“A little,” I admit.
“I’m sorry.”
“I liked it.”
He pulls back and looks down at me. “You did?”
“Yeah, it was different.”
He smiles and strokes my cheek, “Ready for the rest of your surprise.”
I reach up and swipe a thick piece of dark hair from his eyes. “Anything you have for me, I’m ready for.”
He stands and looks lovingly down at me, and then he tosses me some clothes. “Get dressed.”
I raise my brows. “We’re going out?”
“It’s a secret, come on.”
I grin and pull on my clothes. Then I run a brush through my hair and throw it up. When Jagger’s dressed too, I follow him out the front door and into the complex. He leads me around the back and I’m confused for a moment, until we step into the tennis court. It’s been lit up with a bunch of party lights and in the middle is a beautiful, round, raised dance floor. It’s wooden and a perfect circle. It’s surrounded in flowers and pretty lights. It reminds me of something you would see at a prom for the king and queen to dance on.
“We’re dancing?” I whisper.
“We’re dancing baby, just me and you.”
I swallow and my heart clenches. It’s so beautiful, so romantic, and so perfect. Jagger takes my hand and leads me over to the dance floor, and we walk up the few steps. When we’re standing in the middle, I look around. It’s beautiful. The night is clear and warm, there’s soft music playing in the background and we’re alone.
“How’d you do this?” I whisper.
“Rusty and Bull helped me out.”
I look up at him and stroke his face. “Jagger…”
“Shhh,” he murmurs and puts out his hand. “Will you dance with me?”
“I’d love to.”
I hear a song come on and I melt, it’s a beautiful song. The perfect song for the night, for us. Jagger wraps me in his arms and I slide my hands up around his neck. Gently he begins to sway us, our bodies moving softly to the music. His eyes never leave mine, an
d he begins singing the song lightly to me. My heart melts in that moment, it truly melts.
“From underneath the trees, we watch the sky, confusing stars, with satellites. I never dreamed, that you’d be mine, but here we are, we’re here tonight.”
Tears stumble down my cheeks, it’s that perfectly beautiful moment that makes everything ok again. It’s the moment that makes all bad things good. It’s that moment that makes us who we are. It’s the moment that just changes everything. It makes me want to keep going, to keep fighting. It makes the distance easier. It just is, that moment.
“You did all this for me?” I say in a soft voice.
“I’d do anything for you Willow, anything.”
He lets me go and I’m confused for a moment, then he drops to his knees. My eyes widen and more hot tears stumble down my cheeks. He reaches up and takes my hand, and then he pulls a tiny ring out of his shirt pocket.
“I haven’t been around, I haven’t done everything I can to make this perfect for you. I took you, I changed your life in good and bad ways. I have taken you to hell and back and I know there’s no reason that I deserve someone like you. I don’t deserve you, but I’ll never, ever want anything in my life the way I want you. You’ve changed everything I am. You’ve made me want to be so many things I never thought I could be. You’ve become the reason I wake up every day. You’re my heart, my soul and the reason I breathe. I don’t deserve you to say yes to me Willow, but I’m asking you to. I’m asking you to say yes because without you, I am nothing. Without you, I have no soul. I can’t give you much right now, but I can give you my heart and promise you that I’m always going to fight. I promise you I’ll always come back, I’ll always believe in you and Willow, I’ll always love you. Marry me, let me give you all of me.”
I’m sobbing loudly and my tears are dripping down onto my shirt. Jagger is looking at me with those beautiful blue eyes, his face screams emotion, desperation but mostly, love. I drop to my knees too, and I take his face in my hands.
“Yes, a thousand times, yes.”
He slumps in relief and we crash into each other’s arms, both of us clinging to each other like it’s the last time. When we finally pull back, he slides the ring onto my finger and it’s a perfect fit. It’s a beautiful square cut diamond, with a white gold band. It’s perfect. It makes everything perfect. I hear clapping and I turn to see everyone coming out from the darkness. I smile at all of them, my family, my life. They’re our glue.