by Marnee Blake
He would have to talk to her. He would explain. They could do this.
He stood then, meeting eyes with the rest of them, so as not to make the moment awkward. “You’ll let me know what else you need.”
Bates nodded. “Tonight, come back here. I’ll take your statement then.”
“Sounds good.” He needed to get out of here.
“But Mr. Roberts?”
He turned back, his hand on the doorknob. “Yes?”
“Be careful. This is a very dangerous situation. Don’t be a hero.”
Lance nodded, his gaze straying to Meg. She snorted, her face full of betrayal and anger. Through the ache of it, he recognized how unavoidable this had been. She was always going to find out that he was looking into their fathers’ deaths. It’s why he hadn’t told her.
But her reaction? It wasn’t only about the investigation. He’d lied to her. If it wasn’t an outright lie, it was an omission of truth.
He’d pay for that. She might never trust him again. One thing was certain: he would never forget the look on her face right now. “Meg…”
She jerked her head, a barely noticeable shake. If her closed-off expression was any indication, the space between them now was miles wide. She turned away from him.
As he slipped into the hall, closing the door with a soft click, he exhaled. He should have known better. Except, he had. He’d only chosen to ignore what was inevitable—that she would hate him— to be with her for the time they had.
Now, that was over.
This might be for the best. Obviously, he was getting close. If Bates was right, the people around him could be in danger, too. Maybe this would keep her safe.
Because he wasn’t going to stop. If this guy thought he could scare him, he didn’t know him at all.
More, if someone was trying to stop him, it meant that he wasn’t wrong to dig into his father’s death. He must be closer than he thought.
* * * *
Following Lance out of the meeting was a mistake. Meg did it anyway. Apparently, she was glutton for punishment.
“Lance,” Meg called as he hurried toward the exit. He didn’t stop. “Lance!” He kept going, pushing through the door and into the field behind the air center. “Wait.”
He halted, and she almost ran into him. He didn’t turn. “Did you call in an investigator? Without asking me?”
Was he seriously mad at her right now? She propped her hands on her hips, glaring at him. “After everything you haven’t told me? That’s rich.” She laughed. “Yes. I talked to Joe yesterday, when I got back from the hospital. Because I was worried about you.” While she’d been worrying about him, he’d been lying to her.
“Why would you do that?” He hissed the words, glancing around, obviously not wanting anyone to hear their conversation.
“I needed to do something. To help. I hoped that if whoever is messing with you thought that they’re being watched, they would think twice next time. I had no idea that you didn’t care if someone was messing with you, that you didn’t care how that might be putting everyone around you, including the other jumpers, at risk. Now that I know how much you’ve put yourself in danger, it seems I’m a little late to the party.” She shook her head, swallowing. She was about to make a scene. Exhaling, she was determined to hold it together. “What were you thinking?”
“Seems pretty clear, doesn’t it?” He buried his hands in his hair, gazing at the sky before turning to her. “I’m investigating our fathers’ deaths. I have been since I got back. And I didn’t tell you.”
The words took the air out of her lungs. She could only stare at him. He was a stranger to her. All this time, after everything they’d been through since he returned? He had lied to her.
Hadn’t everyone warned her? Her mom, Will, and even Hunter…her entire family. She hadn’t listened, and now look at her. It was so predictable it was pathetic.
Except…it had to be impossible to fake emotion like that.
As she stared into his closed face, she couldn’t find any traces of the man who had shared her bed. He’d worshiped her body, and his reverence had seemed genuine.
Then again, she had always been soft when it came to Lance. Maybe that’s what she wanted to believe. She couldn’t trust her own eyes when it came to him.
“Why?” She folded her arms around her, holding herself together. “Why didn’t you tell me? You aren’t the only one who lost their father. Don’t you think I deserve to know?”
He snorted, his face cynical. “And what would you have said, Meg?” He made the motion for air quotes. “Sure, Lance, let’s look into a cold case, dig up demons from a decade ago, from our past.” He shook his head, giving a rude snort of laughter. “Demons from our past. That would’ve gone over great with your brothers. I’m sure they would be all for poking around in the past. Rehashing everything that went on all those years ago. They can barely look at me.”
“Don’t you think that was my choice to make?” He’d shut her out. Just like the last time, after his father died. He hadn’t trusted her. It had hurt then, but this time? “It definitely wasn’t Hunter’s choice. He’s in the hospital, because he got caught in your investigation.”
“I never meant for anyone to get hurt.”
His words were gritty and so honest, she had to look away from him. She clamped her lips shut, refusing to take it back. “I know.” Lance might have lied, but he would never hurt anyone on purpose. “We’re all just incidental contact.” She laughed without humor. “Or maybe you need to admit that you’re just as reckless as people believe you are.”
He exhaled. “Meg…”
“What did you hope to find out?”
“Don’t you think it’s a little suspicious that three smokejumpers would all jump to the wrong side of the flames?” Lance buried his hands in his hair. “Your uncle might have been a newbie, but our fathers? They had been jumping for years. What was so different about this day? We are missing something.”
“They made a mistake. People make mistakes.” She took a couple steps back. “Just like this, between us. I made a mistake.”
His mouth tightened. She wanted him to deny it. She wanted him to fight for them. Instead, he gave a short nod. “You’re right. This was a bad idea. I knew I would hurt you. I should have never started any of this.”
The words sliced. But she lifted her chin, and nodded back. “Well, I should have known better.”
“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt anyone.”
“Seems to run in your family. Destruction follows the Roberts men around.”
He jerked. It was a low blow. She’d wanted to hurt him, though, as bad as she was hurting. She wanted him to strike out, like her. Then, maybe she would never feel anything for him again.
It would be easier to hate him.
But he said nothing. She bit back a scream, the urge to tell him to fight back. Her fists clenched at her side and she tightened her jaw, determined to stop. This was already pathetic, embarrassing. It’s just that…it hurt worse than she expected it to. She’d prepared herself to lose him. When she chose to make love with him, she’d told herself that taking a chance on now was worth the risk to later. That the potential to lose him to the fires wouldn’t outweigh what was between them now. But she hadn’t expected this loss. She hadn’t expected him to want to leave her.
She spun, unable to look at him any longer. He called for her, but she continued walking.
He’d hidden an investigation from her. She knew that he hated how things were in town, how people treated him, but he hid it well. Maybe he hated that more than the possibility of losing her.
Or maybe she didn’t know him that well at all.
Inside, she grabbed her bag. As she slung it over her shoulder, Joe filled her doorframe. “You have a minute?”
The need to
escape hummed through her, but she attempted a smile. “Can it wait? I was just going to run out.”
“Not really. It’s about Roberts.” He pulled the door closed behind him. “I thought we should talk.”
She clung to her purse strap, bracing herself. Of course, he’d want to talk. She hadn’t exactly held it together in that meeting. “Yeah.”
“Listen, Meg…” He shifted his weight. Joe had never been good at heart-to-heart conversations. “I know you guys were friends, growing up. I get that you might want to…rekindle that. But it looks…”
“Bad. You think it looks bad.” Her stomach tightened. “How close we are. It isn’t professional.”
“No. It isn’t.” The corner of his mouth tilted up. “Have a care, that’s all. I know how much you wanted to be here.”
She had been so stupid. In her romantic fantasies, she’d believed they’d be able to work around all these complications. That all they’d need to do was get through training and then they could deal with the professional aspects of their relationship. Staring into her uncle’s face, she could see how that had been naive. Almost as naive as trusting Lance. “Thanks, Uncle Joe.”
He nodded and left.
She needed some air, to get out of here for a while. She shook her keys out of her purse and headed for the door. In the parking lot, she slid into her car.
She started to drive before she decided where she was going. She couldn’t go to her mom’s house. Not today. Not tonight. She’d go to Bend.
Decided, she turned up the radio, hoped it would drown out the noise in her head.
* * * *
That night, Lance left the air center later than he hoped. Like most of the days this week, Lance and the other recruits would jump twice between physical training sessions. The jumps were becoming more and more difficult, but he could handle it. He lived for the rush of floating through the sky. They were well into their third week, over halfway through their training.
After the day’s training, he spent extra time cleaning and packing parachutes, doing his best to convince his teammates, his trainers, and himself that he wasn’t the liability. But no matter how much extra work he did, nothing drowned out his conversations with the investigator and Meg. The guilt threatened to suffocate him.
He hadn’t twisted that parachute, but if he’d spoken up…maybe if he’d said something sooner, Hunter wouldn’t be in the hospital. The note, the tricks and stolen items…they had seemed harmless and his pride had kept him quiet. He hadn’t wanted to be a tattletale. If he’d guessed those pranks would lead to this…
The investigator had asked him why he was looking into his father’s death. While Bates assured Lance that he would include his search for answers into the larger investigation of what was going on at the air center now, he’d been clear that the old investigation into his father’s death was completed. Obviously, Forest Services wasn’t willing to reopen cases just to give him closure.
He threw his bag into the back of the Jeep, and slid into the driver’s seat. Shoulders slumping, he gripped the wheel, staring out into the mountain. Was this what it would all come to? He’d spent all these years training, working out and preparing to be a smokejumper. Would he let his search for answers derail him inches from the finish line?
Part of him wanted to let it go. Move on. Was all of this worth it? If someone else got hurt…
He hadn’t seen Meg for the rest of the day. He missed her. Now, in the privacy of his car, he allowed himself to feel that pain, without the constant eyes in the air center.
He’d done everything wrong with her. How he’d left things was eating at him. He’d barely slept last night, barely eaten. This morning, he’d told himself that he was fine. Here, though, alone…he admitted he wasn’t.
It didn’t matter. He couldn’t apologize, couldn’t ask for her forgiveness. Being around him right now…it wasn’t safe for her. This way was the best, for her to stay far away from him.
Even as her loss was a physical ache.
He slammed his hand against the steering wheel, jammed the keys in the ignition and started up the Jeep. As he pulled out of the parking lot, he tried not to think about it. He was going to take tonight off. He’d take a drive, sleep at his grandmother’s. Tomorrow he would figure this out, but tonight he couldn’t get out of here fast enough.
He pulled out of the parking lot and accelerated. As he wound toward the main road, he took a deep breath and the last two days fell away.
The road became more winding, and he braked into a turn, continuing downhill. He’d been driving this road since he was a kid. He could do it with his eyes closed.
Except…suddenly, he was doing it without an engine. As he accelerated out of a turn, his car stalled, and took with it his power steering and power brakes. He wasn’t entirely out of the curve though, and he couldn’t get the wheel spun in time.
Seconds later, the Jeep hit the gravel in the shoulder and lost traction.
He did his best to pump the brakes and turn into the nose dive, but it was hard, and he didn’t manage it soon enough. The tilt of the shoulder was too steep, and the Jeep slid sideways.
As the Jeep tumbled down the hill, the ground passed him twice in the window as the airbags deployed.
His heart pounded in his ears along with the beat from the radio. He did his best not to tighten up. Suffering an impact with stiffened muscles would cause more damage. Instead he tried to breathe, but even that was difficult.
He fell for an eternity. People say your life flashes before your eyes in moments of crisis, but that wasn’t true. It was the people you loved that consumed your thoughts. His mom, Gram, and Meg…
With a sickening thud, the Jeep crashed, jerking him against the driver’s door. Only his rapid pulse filled the resulting silence.
He didn’t know how long it took him to be able to see anything outside his car. He pushed at the airbags, forcing them out of his way. When his vision cleared, the first thing he noticed was the giant tree trunk now embedded in the driver’s side. Through the passenger’s window, up the hill, the path of his descent was nothing but broken branches, fallen trees, and skid marks. He rubbed the side of his face, coming away with blood.
Great. As if his Jeep hadn’t suffered enough, now he was going to bleed all over it.
He assessed the rest of himself, making note of a few aches, some scrapes, and a tender spot on his side from the seatbelt. But overall, he seemed fine.
Fine.
What the hell had happened? He just serviced his truck. He changed the oil himself, replaced the fuel filter, air filter. It was only a couple of years old. It didn’t even have 20,000 miles on it. No way should it be stalling.
The inside of the cabin was a wreck. His gym bag had emptied out all over everything, dirty clothes and shoes scattered about. The contents of his glove box were all over the front seat. Luckily, he always kept his cell phone inside the middle compartment and that had remained closed. He popped the latch, finding the phone unharmed. He pressed the home button and it lit right up. Good. It still worked.
There was only one person he wanted to talk to right now. She might not want to hear from him. If it was him, he might not want to take his call. He hoped she was a better person than him.
He pressed recent calls, and hit send on Meg’s number. When the line connected, his relief was so intense, he didn’t greet her.
“I need help. I’m on McKenzie Highway. My Jeep went off the road.” His voice was rough, full of gravel, like the stuff his truck had slipped in.
“My God. Are you okay?” Meg managed to fill her words with all of her worry.
For him, even after everything that had happened between them.
“I’m fine. I think.” He laughed. “I haven’t gotten out of the car yet.”
“I’m going to call the police.”
“Okay.
” With everything else going on, he couldn’t shake the suspicion that this might not have been an accident. “But come, too? Please.”
There was brief hesitation, then a sigh. “Of course.”
The words loosened something in his chest. He closed his eyes, his jaw clenched.
Until now, the realization that someone was trying to sabotage him had been elusive. He couldn’t pretend anymore, though. This could be some sort of freak accident, but he doubted it.
Someone was trying to kill him.
Was he putting Meg in danger? He’d already gotten Hunter hurt because of his decisions.
The pause on the line had become awkward. “Thanks, firecracker.”
“See you soon.” The line went dead.
He dropped his phone into the passenger seat, rubbing his now-aching neck. Maybe he should’ve told her not to come. Except he wasn’t that strong. He needed her.
As he laid his head back against the headrest, he wanted to close his eyes—to rest—but he had enough medical training about head trauma to force his eyes open. He could have a concussion and he shouldn’t go to sleep. He stared into the brush around him as he waited for the emergency personnel and Meg.
Chapter 16
“You could have stayed the night at the hospital, if you wanted.” She touched the gash on his forehead and pretended not to notice when he flinched. Now, she hunched over him as he sat in a chair in her postage stamp kitchenette in Bend, smearing lotion on an abrasion on his arm and dressing it.
The place felt smaller with him in it. Maybe that was because all the things they were leaving unspoken were taking up all the space.
He offered her a wry grin, his face pale. “I don’t need them to fuss over me. You’re doing a great job.”
Her hands stilled, mid cotton ball dab.
“Meg…” He ran his finger over her wrist.
She pulled away. Not because his touch disgusted her. The opposite.
At the sink, she washed her hands. “You could’ve been killed.” If she’d been going for unaffected, she failed.