Frank Freud, still wearing the wall-walkers, froze against the wall of our house. The Wicket froze with a piece of fruitcake halfway to her mouth. The Mr. McG squeezed the McG's hand tighter. Mandy Stenko stopped bouncing. Will went on being just-in-general wonderful.
"Oh my," Mrs. Pete said.
"Now that's a power," Will said in hushed respect.
"Isn't anyone going to get the fire extinguisher?" Petal said.
Pete put his fingers to his lips and let out a loud whistle, and then he clapped his hands together smartly. We suspected he was trying to get our attention.
"Nothing to see here," he said with forced calm. "Party's over, folks."
"You don't have to tell me twice," Frank Freud said, hurrying down the wall in the wall-walkers.
"Can I borrow your phone to call a cab?" the Wicket asked.
Rebecca turned to the Wicket, outraged. "But you can't call a cab. My party's just getting started!"
Seeing the angry look on Rebecca's face and the way Rebecca was raising her finger to point, the Wicket dropped her fruitcake and began running. "Never mind the cab," the Wicket shouted over her shoulder. "I think I can make it home on my own."
"You'll stay, won't you?" Rebecca said, turning to the McG and the Mr. McG.
"We'd like to," the McG said, and we thought she almost sounded sincere.
"But we just remembered another engagement," the Mr. McG said.
"Plus," the McG added with a glance toward Pete, with whom she'd become somewhat friendly since the time Pete helped us evict Crazy Serena from our lives after Crazy Serena had teachernapped the McG and Eightnapped us, "it looks like you have some family matters to attend to. In private."
And then they were gone too.
"Why did you put an end to my party?" Rebecca said, rounding on Pete in anger, all ten fingers raised.
Pete held a steadying hand out toward her.
"Easy, pet," he said. "I only did it for your own good. There are some things that the fewer outsiders who see it, the better."
"Besides," Durinda said, "the fish dogs have been reduced to cinders, so it's not like we had a main course to serve anyone anyway."
"All we have left are these stupid salads," Georgia said.
"Can we stay?" Will said. "Mandy and me?"
"Is that okay, Mr. Pete?" Jackie asked. "Will and Mandy are mostly insiders, not outsiders."
"Are you sure that's what you want?" Pete asked Will.
"Of course," Will said. "I'd love to see what happens next."
"And how about you, lamb?" Pete asked, turning to Mandy.
Mandy gulped, and we were sure that she was going to ask to call her mother. But then she surprised us.
"I suppose I would like to stay too," she said. "This is kind of fascinating in an I've-never-seen-anything-quite-like-this-before sort of way."
"Is it better than going to Antarctica?" Annie wanted to know.
"Yes," Mandy said, "a bit. So, what happens next?"
"I know this part!" Will said excitedly. "Next we go to the drawing room to read the note about Rebecca getting her power!"
"Well, what are we waiting for?" Mandy said.
Wow, we thought. A minute ago Mandy seemed hesitant to stay, and now she was hurrying us to get on with things.
"That is," Marcia said, for once sounding dark, "if there even is a note this time. The note leaver's been wonky lately."
We ignored her and raced to the drawing room. Even Petal raced. She may have been more petrified of Rebecca than ever, but the notes were always a high point for us.
"Will there be a note or won't there? Will there be a note or won't there?" Marcia kept muttering when we were all standing in front of the loose stone in the drawing room.
"Cut it out," Georgia said. "You sound like you're playing he-loves-me-he-loves-me-not with a daisy. The loose stone is not a daisy."
"See if there's a note! See if there's a note!" Zinnia cried with excitement, hands clasped together.
Rebecca slid the loose stone out, and this time, unlike the last time...
There was a note back there.
"Read what it says!" Zinnia cried. "Read what it says!"
Rebecca did.
Dear Rebecca,
I always knew you were a fiery girl— nice work!
"'A fiery girl,'" Rebecca echoed. "I rather like that."
"And I rather like," Marcia said, "that the note leaver isb ack—yippee!"
Rebecca continued reading.
Thirteen down, three to go.
"But wait," Marcia said. "I think the math is all wrong this time. Rebecca got two powers: superhuman strength and now this fire thing."
"You got superhuman strength too?" Will asked Rebecca, his eyes wide.
"Yes," Rebecca said. "Would you like me to lift something really large for you?"
"I don't think now's the right time for that," Pete said.
"But what can this mean?" Marcia said. "Does the note leaver not realize Rebecca now has two powers? Does the note leaver not know about the superhuman strength?"
"Who cares what the note leaver knows or doesn't know?" Rebecca shrugged.
"I care!" Marcia was outraged.
"So?" Rebecca said. "Maybe it's like I said before. Maybe the superhuman-strength stuff is just me being me and not a power at all."
"Oh no!" Petal cried. "Does this mean that even after July is over, you'll still be Wife-Carrying me?"
We ignored Petal.
"I know one thing it means," Zinnia said.
Now this was shocking: Zinnia saying she knew what something meant without first claiming that one of the cats told her in one of her imaginary Zinnia-to-kitty conversations.
"It means," Zinnia said, "that Rebecca has managed to hog two powers instead of the usual one." Zinnia crossed her arms, and her lower lip came out. "I suppose when my month finally arrives there won't even be one single power left for me, not even a measly one."
"Oh, I'm sure that won't be the case," Durinda said, placing an arm around Zinnia's shoulders.
"Of course not," Jackie said, placing an arm around Zinnia's shoulders from the other side. "I'm sure you'll get a fine power and probably the best present anyone's had yet."
Zinnia was slightly mollified by all the hugging, but not much. "We'll see about that," she said glumly.
"Does anyone else see there's a P.S. at the bottom of Rebecca's letter?" Mandy asked.
"A P.S.?" Zinnia zoomed straight from glum to excited again. "I don't know if we've ever had one of those before. Have we?"
"That's funny," Annie said, rubbing her chin as though she expected to find a fake beard there even though she'd only ever worn a fake mustache. "Right now I can't remember if we have or not."
"I hope it's not bad news," Petal said.
"Read it! Read it!" Zinnia shouted at Rebecca.
"Perhaps if you'd stop shouting," Rebecca said. "Oh, fine."
P.S. Remember, Rebecca: Always use your power for good, not evil.
"Ha!" Rebecca said, crumpling up the note. "What a silly note leaver. Of course I'm going to use my power for evil. Why, this is just the beginning of my world domination. I think when I'm done, I'll rename whatever country we live in Rebeccaland. Or maybe I'll rename the whole planet that. The universe even!"
"Well, you'd better hurry up and dominate then," Georgia said. "July's over in seventeen days, and with it goes your power."
"You're right," Rebecca said, a dark gleam entering her eye. It was the darkest gleam we'd ever seen there. It scared us all, even Annie. "I'll need to begin right away. Now, what should I set on fire first so I can dominate it..."
Rebecca left the room then, her ten fingers outstretched menacingly; we could only imagine that she was looking for something to burn and that wherever her cat, Rambunctious, was, the cat had probably set something on fire too. We hoped the cats had their own fire extinguisher. We were certainly going to need ours.
"Did anyone else notice that the note wasn'
t signed?" Mandy asked.
"They never are," Will informed her.
"How rude!" Mandy said.
We ignored Mandy.
"What does this mean?" Petal asked fearfully.
"Which part?" Annie asked.
"All Rebecca's talk about using her power to do that dominate thing she mentioned," Petal said. "What does it all mean?"
"Power corrupts," Pete said, "and absolute power corrupts absolutely."
"That's not helpful," Petal cried. "Because I don't know what that means either!"
We weren't sure we understood it completely, but we had the feeling that whatever happened next, it was going to be worse, much worse than Rebecca carrying Petal around the front yard.
"I think what Mr. Pete is trying to say," Jackie said, "is that Rebecca has become absolutely corrupted."
Oh dear. That couldn't be good.
ELEVEN
"Perhaps it won't be that bad," we said to ourselves as we stood in the drawing room wondering what Rebecca was up to.
"Perhaps it won't be that bad," we said to ourselves as we went to sleep that night, Mandy and Will long gone.
At least we didn't smell anything burning.
But the next morning, not long after we arose, it began to dawn on us that, yes, it really was going to be that bad.
"What do you mean," Rebecca demanded of Durinda, "you've made chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast? Didn't you get the memo I left you last night saying I wanted pink frosting for breakfast from now on?"
"What memo?" Durinda asked.
"Okay," Rebecca said. "Perhaps I forgot to leave one because I was too busy making a list of the things I need to burn down in order to take over the world. Still..."
And Rebecca raised her ten fingers, pointed them at the dining-room table, on which lay ten servings of chocolate chip pancakes, and let fly with her power.
A moment later, the table was engulfed in flames.
"See?" Petal said. "I told you children shouldn't be allowed to play with fire, but does anyone ever listen to me? Oh, no. All you people ever say is 'Poor Petal, what a crazy girl with all her silly little worries that never amount to anything.' Well?"
That was odd. It almost sounded as though Petal were angry and standing up for herself.
"I was hungry," Annie said.
"Couldn't you have waited," Georgia complained, "until after we'd eaten to set fire to the dining-room table?"
"Those flames are shooting rather high," Marcia observed.
"I'll go get the fire extinguisher," Zinnia offered.
"Well, I'm hungry too," Rebecca said angrily, raising her fingers again.
"Wait right here," Jackie said before Rebecca could do anything with those ten fingers. "I'll go get you a can of pink frosting."
In what seemed like a second, certainly much faster than it would have taken any of us, Jackie was back with the can.
"Here you go," she offered, extending the can to Rebecca along with a spoon.
"Why don't you watch some TV?" Durinda suggested soothingly to Rebecca as Zinnia sprayed the fire extinguisher at the table, replacing flame with foam.
We wondered about Durinda using that soothing voice. Yes, Durinda was soothing by nature, just as Georgia was anti-soothing. But it seemed to us that for most of July, she'd been annoyed with Rebecca. Then it hit us. Rebecca was carrying ten lethal weapons now, and Durinda was wisely choosing not to rock the boat.
"That's not a bad idea," Rebecca said. "Maybe if I watch TV I'll get some more world-taking-over ideas."
"So what shall we have for breakfast instead?" Annie asked once Rebecca was gone.
"I don't feel like cooking pancakes a second time," Durinda said.
"Besides," Marcia said observantly, "we no longer have a dining-room table to eat them on."
"How about Razzle Crunchies?" Jackie suggested. "That's always easy."
"I like Razzle Crunchies," Zinnia said, having finished with extinguishing the table. "They razzle. And they crunch."
"We don't even need a table to eat them at," Georgia said. "We can just put them in bowls and go eat them in the TV room, like uncivilized people."
"Razzle Crunchies it is," Durinda said.
Soon we were all gathered in the TV room, even the Petes, eating Razzle Crunchies and watching Rebecca change the channels with the remote.
"Blast!" Rebecca cried at the TV. "There's nothing helpful on!"
What Rebecca did then was worse than what robot Betty had done, grinding Razzle Crunchies into the carpet when she didn't like what was going on in that late-night movie.
"So much for having a TV in the house," Annie said as we watched flames shoot back at us from the middle of what was once our television set.
"Well," Pete said with surprising calm, "it's probably for the best. They say that TV rots the brain."
"Who is they?" Georgia said.
"I suppose we'll never know about the brain-rotting thing," Marcia said, "now that we no longer have a TV."
Georgia sighed. "I would have liked to know what it's like to have a rotting brain."
"Do you people see what I mean?" Petal said.
"I'll go get the fire extinguisher," Zinnia said.
As Zinnia exited the room, we saw Zither hurry by the open doorway with a tiny fire extinguisher on her back. We wondered where she was going. Perhaps Zinnia would ask her.
That almost made us laugh. The idea of Zinnia thinking she could communicate with the cats—that got us every time. As if.
Still, we hoped her imaginary conversation with her cat didn't take too long. The whole room could catch fire in the meantime.
"Rebecca," Jackie suggested, "while we, er, clean up in here, why don't you go into one of the seasonal rooms and play for a bit?"
Playing for a bit in one of the seasonal rooms—that sounded like a good idea. Playing for a bit could calm any person down, even Rebecca. Jackie was always coming up with good ideas.
And this would have been a good idea if Rebecca had chosen to go to Winter or Summer or Spring. It would have been a good idea if Jackie had thought sooner than she did to shout after Rebecca, "Just don't go in Fall!"
As it was, Jackie's shout came too late.
Fall was always so dry, being Fall of course, with all the things that went with Fall. Fall was the driest room in the house. Really, Fall was just one big conflagration waiting to happen.
We arrived at the doorway of Fall to see the entire room ablaze.
"Oh dear," Rebecca said, at last looking awed at her own power.
"Oh, this is very bad," Petal said. "Rebecca chose me to show off her strength. What if she chooses me for this too?"
"It'll be like the Salem witch trials," Annie said.
"But without a real witch," Georgia added.
"I'll go get the fire extinguisher," Zinnia offered, sounding as though she might be growing weary of it all.
"Psst," Pete whispered to us as Rebecca went on staring at what she'd done. "I think we need to have a family conference."
"Without Rebecca," Mrs. Pete added.
Pete had used the term family conference. We were inclined to feel moved by this, the idea that even though we weren't related to them by blood, the Petes thought of us as family. But we had no time to be sentimental.
"You're right," Annie said. "Things simply can't go on like this."
***
We held our family conference standing around the charred remains of our dining-room table. We would have sat, but the chairs had been destroyed too. So stand we did around the smoldering mess.
Rebecca was upstairs lying down for a bit, having been instructed by Annie to do so.
"That's a good idea," Rebecca had said when Annie suggested it. "I think better when I'm horizontal, so I'll be able to come up with more world-taking-over ideas."
"Things simply can't go on like this," Annie said again now.
We saw that Annie was right.
We'd suffered threats from outside before,
many times: the Wicket, Crazy Serena, Frank Freud, Crazy Serena again. But this time the threat was coming from within. Would Rebecca destroy our house and us in it?
She might not mean to, but she was certainly capable of it.
"We need to find a way to contain Rebecca's power until August hits," Pete said.
"But how?" Mrs. Pete said.
"Perhaps we could tie Rebecca's hands behind her back," Petal suggested.
We suspected that Petal had been wanting to do this to Rebecca for a very long time.
"She'd only shoot fire backwards," Marcia said.
"And then where would we be?" Georgia said. "With Rebecca unable to see what she was shooting fire at, who knows what she might set on fire by mistake?"
"I wish a carrier pigeon would come to visit," Durinda said with a sigh. "Especially if the carrier pigeon came bearing a note with helpful advice."
That seemed like a too-magical thing to wish for, that a carrier pigeon would just appear with useful information at exactly the right moment. Still, we couldn't blame Durinda as we gazed at the windows hopefully and then wistfully. It would have been nice.
"We could wrap Rebecca's hands in great big mitts so that her fingers were covered," Petal suggested.
"I don't think that would work either," Annie said. "Unless the mitts were made of steel, Rebecca could shoot fire right through them."
"You're right," Pete said. "What we need is something that will remove Rebecca completely from the house."
"You mean like send her to jail?" Petal suggested.
We all ignored Petal, except for Pete.
"Unless the jail's made entirely of steel," he said, "that wouldn't work either."
"Steel ... steel ... steel..." Marcia mused. "People keep mentioning steel. I'm guessing there might be something in that."
"We need something completely made out of steel," Annie said excitedly.
"And then we need to put something into the thing made out of steel so that Rebecca will enter it," Jackie said.
"Whatever this is we're thinking of," Zinnia said, "it sounds like it might be a mean trick to play on a person." Then Zinnia sighed. "But I am getting tired of hauling that fire extinguisher around. My back is killing me. Zither says hers is too."
Rebecca's Rashness Page 7