“Ok, I’ll think about it.” He could call Trevor in the morning and put this whole craziness to bed. He nodded to Scott, gave Alex a smile, and moved to the back of the room to pick up his bag.
Alex had trouble identifying the feelings that whispered through her body as she watched Dan leave the studio. She was slightly awed at Trevor’s insights about him, annoyed with Scott for being so obnoxious towards him, and totally mystified about why Dan would consider their proposal. It was last grasp madness and inspired genius at the same time, but nothing about it would make sense to Dan.
So why did he agree to think about it overnight? Why didn’t he just walk away to the tune of Scott’s insults?
As she watched Dan chat to Belinda, she worked it out. Fear. That’s what she felt. Not relief that there was a chance still to stay in the competition, but a gut churning fear that he might actually agree.
If he agreed, she’d have to spend a huge amount of time with him, work closely with him. She’d have to let him touch her – she’d have to touch him back. They’d have to learn each other’s bodies and anticipate each other’s thoughts and that scared the hell out of her. He’d invade her life and she wasn’t sure she could manage a man like Dan Maddox doing that.
Scott calling the advanced Latin class to order brought her focus back to the room. There really wasn’t much sense to what she was feeling. There was no way Dan was going to say yes anyway.
Dan was just about out the door when Belinda grabbed his arm.
“What was that about?” she said.
“They want me to fill in for Scott in the dance competition.”
“You!” Belinda’s shock was amusing.
“Yeah me,” he said laughing. It truly was a stupendously dumb idea.
“Why would they think you can do it?” Belinda said, suspicion narrowing her eyes.
Dan shrugged, “Beats me.” He wasn’t buying all that stuff Trevor said about him having a presence like his Mum, though it was interesting to hear him compared to her. Refreshing even. It sounded so much better than the usual, ‘you’re so like your father’ refrain.
“Are you going to do it?”
“I agreed to think about it.” And leaving the studio, in the Valiant, on the drive home, at the supermarket getting milk, cereal, and dog food, and back in the flat with Jeff, he thought of little else.
In the morning he had his answer.
19. Decision Tree
Dan had sympathy for Jeff. Sometimes it wasn’t easy being the dog in the Maddox family. Jeff had a hard morning. First there was the overly long beachside run, much longer and harder than normal, and then the unexpected visitor. Now, there were loud unpleasant noises. It looked like Jeff’s plan was to stay under the kitchen table until they stopped.
Jimmy was the one making all the noise. “Did I ask you to make that payment?”
“No.”
“Then who made you God?”
Dan turned his back on Jimmy and filled the kettle. If they really got into it now, he’d be late for work. He’d already pushed it this morning by going for a longer run. He’d wanted to make sure he made the right decision about competition and he needed a clear head for that. By the time he and Jeff were back at the flat, he was comfortable about calling Trevor to say no and bemused he’d entertained thoughts otherwise.
“You answer me when I’m talking to you.”
“Dad, I made the payment because the bank called. You’re behind and I’m the guarantor on the truck loan. What did you want me to do, let you default?”
“Fucking bank. I was only a week late and they can’t wait a week.”
“No, they’re not good at that.”
“Fuck the bank. Fuck you.”
Dan sighed. The kettle boiled. He met Jeff’s wary eyes as he cowered behind the chair legs. Jeff was the smart one. He wondered why he’d let Jimmy in because now he was going to have trouble getting him out. “Ok, well I know how you feel now. I won’t do it again.”
“You can bloody well wait till I ask you next time. I don’t need my own son thinking he needs to be my saviour.”
“Ok, I’ve got it,” said Dan, handing Jimmy a black coffee.
“You reckon you’ve got it? Carrying on like Lord Muck. You didn’t think you might call me and ask me what I wanted? Maybe I wanted to default. You didn’t think of that?”
“No. I didn’t think you’d be that fucking stupid.”
“Watch your tone with me.”
“My tone! Fuck, Dad; drink your coffee and go. I have to get to work.”
“Yeah, it’s all about you isn’t it? All about what you can do. You think everyone you do a favour for should be eternally fucking worshipful to the great Dan Maddox.”
Dan turned his back on Jimmy to wipe down the sink, to have something to do with his hands to stop them shaking. He willed Jimmy to shut up. Is that what he wanted when he helped people out? Was that what people thought when he did them a good turn? It might explain how Alex had reacted, like his favour had come with hidden conditions attached. When he’d thrown her the keys to the Mazda and told her to put her purse away, she’d looked at him like he must have booby trapped that old car. Was that how people felt about favours or was Jimmy just screwing with him?
“I didn’t raise you to have a big head, to think you can call all the bloody shots.”
Dan gripped the sink. “You didn’t raise me. You tolerated me.”
“Say that to my face, boy.”
“Get out, Dad.”
“I don’t take orders from you. I’ll go when I’m good and ready.”
Dan let go the sink and spun around. He had a tenuous hold on his anger. “Get out now or God help me.” The sound of his voice made Jeff whine.
Jimmy laughed darkly and leaned casually against the side of the fridge, acting like a fixture you’d need to push to move.
Dan’s body was in motion before his brain had time to check him. It was the sting in the laugh, the aggression in Jimmy, and the overload of memories from countless fights like this. He pressed his palm to Jimmy’s chest, shoving him backwards, making his coffee splash everywhere and bottles clink inside the fridge.
For a moment father and son were eye to eye, neither of them breaking contact. Dan’s body was rigid with tension. He kept his open hand in the centre of Jimmy’s chest and could feel the heat of his father’s anger under his fingers.
“Back off, boy,” Jimmy sneered. When Dan put more force into his arm and pressed harder on his chest, his hatred for his father in his eyes, Jimmy moved. He raised his fist to strike. But Dan was faster, bringing his other hand up and catching him around the throat, squeezing to cut off his air supply.
The scuffle that ensued made Jeff bark, made him come out from under the table and bare his teeth, growl low, and position himself beside Dan. Dan struck twice, hard and fast, once on the jaw and once to the gut. Jimmy got in a couple of punches as well, but they glanced off Dan. Since getting hit wasn’t part of his plan, Dan dropped his hands and backed off.
Jimmy swallowed blood, wiped his hand across his mouth. “You’re not so special, boy. Not above hitting your old man.” He kicked a piece of broken coffee mug, sending it skittering towards Jeff, making him growl again. Jimmy left, leaving the front door swinging open.
“S’ok Jeff, he’s gone.” Dan bent to pick up the broken mug, his hands shaking and his knuckles tender. When he stood again, he flung the pieces at the far wall, scattering them across the floor and into the next room.
He’d struck his own father. Not the first time, but this time he might have hurt him badly if he hadn’t backed off. Jimmy was right. He wasn’t any better than any of the Maddox men. He’d done as much as he could to have a different life. He’d run as soon as he was able to find work to support himself and then he’d worked smart. But none of it mattered – the money in the bank, the investments, the ideas he had, the last month of trying to act differently – if he could be reduced so quickly to a mindless brawler,
a drinker, an opportunist, and a womaniser.
When he bent down to the floor again, it was to give Jeff a hug. The dog was still trembling, but Dan felt his brown body relax when he stroked his wide head. His jaw was going to bruise, he was late, and he still felt the need to hit something.
Alex watched her phone all morning, so of course it didn’t ring, because, of course, Dan had more sense than to take them up on their opportunity to burn time and energy on awkwardness and humiliation. So when Trevor did call, late that afternoon, asking her to come over, she assumed it had something to do with teaching rosters.
When she arrived, she could see she’d interrupted something between Trevor and Dan. It was in the way they were looking at each other and for a wild moment she wondered if Dan played on both sides of the spectrum. Trevor wouldn’t have said no, but Scott’s visceral reaction to Dan practically proved his dominantly heterosexual nature.
Dan had obviously come straight from work. He was wearing dark blue overalls, much washed, frayed and stained, unbuttoned to the waist, showing a grey singlet underneath, the sleeves cut off leaving a tattered frame for his biceps, and he had a smear of grease down one forearm. He had thick-soled boots on and his hair was an unruly mass of waves when he pushed it back off his forehead.
Alex saw his hands were blackened and he had dirt under his fingernails. There was the shadow of a bruise on his jaw and a dark, moodiness about him that made him seem a little dangerous. He looked hot and sticky, gritty and cranky. Mr July in the working men’s calendar.
It was as though he’d deliberately come straight from the garage looking rough and dirty like this just to prove how crazy the idea of trying to turn him into a competition ballroom dancer was. Alex was a little put out that Trevor had hauled her over here just to hear Dan’s reasons for not wanting to help them out.
“Hi,” she said. Her mouth was dry, either from the anticipation or just the thrill of looking at him; she wasn’t sure which – she didn’t care – it was all good until the point Dan said the word ‘no’.
“Sorry about my appearance,” said Dan, flicking a glance at her, holding his hands out from his body and looking down at himself as though he’d just noticed the state he was in. “I didn’t have time to shower. I’ve been running late all day and I didn’t get a chance to call when I said I would, so I thought I’d drop by instead.”
Dan took a deep breath. He re-focused on Trevor. “You saw my mother dance?”
“I did. I was a little in love with your mother, Dan. Oh don’t get me wrong, I never was into women, but lots of us students were in love with Janelle back then. She was so beautiful and so much fun to be around. She didn’t know I existed and I don’t think we ever spoke, so when you asked me last night if I knew her I had to say no, but I certainly knew who she was. I remember I blubbered when she died.”
Dan was smiling now. Some of the tension he’d been carrying left his body.
“I guess you don’t really remember her that much,” said Trevor.
Dan shook his head. “I have some really sweet memories of her, but they’re little kid memories. She was just my Mum. My old man would never speak about her. He never forgave her for leaving him, so it’s nice to hear about her.”
“You know the association would have photos, maybe even film somewhere. I could find out for you, if you’d like?”
Now Dan lit up. The darkness in him lifted away and his smile was bright and infectious. “Really? That would be amazing.”
“Not a problem, but Dan, that’s not why I called Alex.”
“You called me so he could break my heart in person,” she said, wondering at her odd choice of phrase, but figuring it was one Dan must have been accustomed to hearing.
Dan turned to her, a slow spreading grin on his face. “Trevor called you so I could tell you yes.”
20. Rough Edges
The way Alex looked at him brought it all home. Her pale eyes went wide, her mouth opened, and she snatched an audible breath, her hand coming up to flatten at her throat.
Dan knew this was by far the dumbest thing he’d ever agreed to. Dumber than leaving home at sixteen, dumber than lying about his age to get the job at the mine, dumber than fighting with Jimmy and all the one-night-stands put together. All he knew was that doing this took him as far away from being like his father as he could get and as close to his mother as it was possible to aspire.
Trevor had already warned him how physically and mentally challenging it would be, how much time he’d need to put into it, and how there was no getting around Scott being a difficult task master. He batted all that away. None of it was as hard as facing up to the issues in his life, and if it robbed him of time to think about things, like his relationship with Jimmy, all the better. It didn’t hurt that he’d get to spend time with Alex either.
But he hadn’t stopped to think about how she’d react. She looked surprised, but he also read concern and doubt. This would’ve been easier if she at least liked him a little bit.
“Alex, I promise I’ll do everything I can not to let you down. When Scott says jump, I’ll ask how high. And I know that won’t be enough, but it seems like you’re stuck with me.”
“Not stuck,” said Trevor, looking quickly to Alex. “This will work out ok, you wait and see.” He looked over at Dan. “Can we start right now?”
Dan shook his head, “Ah, I’m really filthy.”
“Why don’t you have a quick wash-up? I want to see the two of you together for a few minutes, just to get a sense of what we’re working with.”
Dan grimaced, but threw his hands up in defeat and disappeared to the bathroom. As soon as he was out of hearing distance Trevor zeroed in on Alex. “You’re not happy. Would you rather not do this?”
“I’m just surprised. I never imagined he’d agree to this. I don’t understand why he would. I’m my mother’s daughter. I’m suspicious about his motivation.”
“Oh! Is that all? Let’s not worry about why, but what we need to do to pull this off. It’s going to be hard work.” Trevor rubbed his hands together. “I’m looking forward to it.”
Alex frowned in confusion. Trevor was putting his heart into this, Dan had stepped up, and this was everything she wanted, so why was she so reluctant? This was all for her and yet she was the one dragging her heels.
When Dan came back into the room, he looked cleaner and smelled of soap. There were droplets of water glistening in his hair and he was barefoot, holding his heavy boots. He’d rolled the top half of his overalls down around his hips so his torso was covered only by the worn singlet, which threw his tanned skin and the muscles of his chest, back, and arms into relief.
Alex thought she might be sick.
Dan could look good without trying. Watching him made her body react in a way that being with Phil never did, and she had no place for feelings like that, particularly now they were going to be spending hours in each other’s arms. Did he know the effect he had? He was smiling at her, looking cooler and more relaxed than when she’d arrived, but he was obviously conscious of his appearance because he opened his arms wide and said, “Best I can do on short notice.” So yes – he had to know what he was doing and the response it was calculated to elicit. It made Alex quietly seethe. The only response he’d get from her would be purely professional.
“Let’s see you guys in a waltz,” said Trevor. He’d deliberately picked a dance Dan had already been taught. He played Christina Perri’s Heart of Glass and stood back to watch.
Alex knew Trevor wanted to assess how she and Dan looked together as a couple, how they moved, what Dan’s shortcomings were, and what strengths he showed, so he could help Scott select the right music and choreograph routines designed to win as many points on the artistic and entertainment scale as possible to make up for the obvious shortfall in Dan’s technical competence.
“I don’t know where you think this is going to get you.” she hissed, as she stepped into his grasp.
Dan took her
hand and pressed his palm against her mid-back. “What do you mean?”
“This. Helping Scott and me out.”
“I still don’t get what you mean.”
“Fixing my car was one thing and I’ll pay you for that, but this is over the top.”
“Forget the car, really – don’t worry, it was nothing,” Dan said, with a quick smile as he firmed his hold on her back.
“I’m serious. If you think this is going to get you in my pants, you can think again. I’m in a relationship and even if I wasn’t, I’m not interested in a player like you.”
Dan lifted his hands up and away. “Whoa!”
“Oh, don’t look so shocked. It doesn’t suit you. Why else would you do this?” Alex struck again, eyes blazing as she looked up at him.
“I’ve got my reasons and they have nothing to do with you, baby,” he said, tossing in the word he’d tried so hard to eliminate from his vocabulary and digging emphasis into it, because, why the fuck not? She thought he was a player so he might as well sound like one. It’s not like he didn’t know how.
“Right,” she said, that one word invested with enough hot sarcasm to start a bush fire.
“Sweetheart,” he spat. “I don’t care if you believe me or not. I do care if you don’t want me here, because I can just as easy go as stay. You need to tell me right now if you want to do this.”
“Is everything alright?” called Trevor. Obviously, it wasn’t. Alex was coiled and tense, leaning forward. Dan stepped back from her, but his weight was on his toes ready to move quickly if he had to. Trevor had brought the music down low so he could hear them.
Dan waited. This was Alex’s call. If she didn’t want him here then this whole thing was done with. If she did, then he’d keep his distance, keep this purely professional. It would be easy if she kept being such a bitch.
Being different with women started right now. It hadn’t started when he began to avoid the flirty glances and the come-on stares. It hadn’t started when he stopped making significant eye contact and started sleeping alone. It started now, with this woman, beautiful, strong, smart, independent, unavailable, and more likely to suspect his good intentions than give him the benefit of the doubt.
Grease Monkey Jive Page 12