Grease Monkey Jive

by Paton, Ainslie

  He scared the hell out of her.

  As recognition dawned, her smile withered, and she dug her fingers into Scott’s arm. She didn’t want to be without Dan, but she couldn’t be with him either. He’d take her independence, shoot holes in her self-reliance, and make her slave to his love. She’d be repeating the pattern of two generations by losing herself for a man.

  Suddenly she wanted to run, to get away from him while she still had a chance, while she still had this distance and he wasn’t touching her, claiming her, enchanting her, but Scott was holding her fast and Barry was talking about prize money, announcing twenty thousand dollars for second place and ten thousand for third. She heard the buzz in the room and murmurs of delight from the competitors as Barry announced the donation in the name of the late Janelle Maddox and then he read the scores and Brad and Anna had won and it was the only right thing happening.

  She heard her name called, she heard Scott’s yell, saw Trevor jump the barricade and start towards them, watched Gina flounce off the floor, instead of accepting third prize. She held Scott’s beaming face in her hands, said, “I love you. I’m sorry,” and she ran.

  After the Moment

  ∞

  63. Coming

  Once it was a surprise he’d prompted. Once he’d expected it, almost willed it as punishment earned, and it hadn’t come. This time Dan didn’t see it coming and the sudden sting of it, the way the smack sounded, made him step back, put his hand to his face. Alex’s body was vibrating with anger, fire sprayed from her eyes even as they went glassy. She’d come off the dance floor at a run and stormed past them all and he’d followed knowing something had broken in her. The corridor was empty, the sound of celebration and the closing party starting outside, and she’d come at him with fury and fear in her face.

  “You can’t just come back, seduce me again, and then pay for me like you think you own me!”

  He shook his head, as much to clear the surprise of her slap as to answer her. “That’s not what I did.”

  “It is what you did. I didn’t want you here. I don’t want your money.”

  He kept his voice low, a counterpoint to her shouting. “You don’t get to tell me what I can do,” then shifted back as she came at him.

  “You can’t buy me like a disposable whore.”

  He grabbed her arms to hold her still, calm her panic, and make her hear him. “You know that’s not what I think. I’ve never treated you like that.”

  She shook him off, stepping back out of reach, but her eyes never left his. “You did just now. Thinking you could come in here uninvited and own me.”

  “No one will ever own you, Alex. I just want to be beside you.” He saw that idea register in her eyes, but then they shuttered with a lack of conviction. “Is this about the money? Give it away. It means nothing to me.”

  She threw her hands up in frustration and spun about, walked away, one step, two, and then wheeled around and came at him again. “Where did you get money like that from?”

  He didn’t recoil, though he felt the mean kickback of her accusation. “You mean how did an unemployed, ambitionless grease monkey like me get that kind of money? Are you scared I pulled a heist? I earned it, Alex. I can give it away if that’s what I want and I can earn more. It’s just money.”

  She was breathing heavily, barely contained enough to speak. “It’s not just money. It’s what you do to me. You turn me inside out. You know you do. It’s a weapon. I can’t think straight around you. I can’t have you in my life because you’ll ruin me. I’ll be good for nothing.”

  Dan ached to hold her, but he flexed his hands, watched the expression of anguish mark her face. “You’re some kind of beautiful ruin.” Even his voice pained, it came out frayed, but there was nothing threadbare about his desire. “I love you and I’m coming for you, whether you like it or not.”

  “You’re not listening to me. I don’t want you. You’re no good for me.”

  “I’m listening, but I hear something different. I hear fear and hurt and some of that I put there, but I’m not hearing you ask me to leave.” She wouldn’t. She’d just given him her trust again, that moment when she’d jumped and soared above his head in the Bird, there was no taking that back. It was spent, received, and invested for the future.

  She threw her head back and closed her eyes. “I don’t want you. I can’t say it any clearer.”

  “That’s not what you’re body tells me.” He closed the distance between them, steadied his voice, and gestured to the dance floor. “Out there, your body told me what you want.”

  She was unravelling, her resistance coming apart. “My body is a traitor, suckered by you, betraying me. I don’t want you.”

  He stepped closer. “Then tell me you don’t still love me and walk away.”

  She was trembling, her hands shaking uncontrollably, her voice pummelled soft. “Don’t tell me what to do.”

  He might still lose her, but he wasn’t finished fighting and she was worth every risk, every chance to get knocked down, to get back up, and take the hit again. “Then do what’s in your heart.”

  Tears streamed down her face and she swayed on her feet. He put his finger under her chin and brought her head up, saw an ocean of torment in her eyes. “I’m not letting you go again. I’m still paying for that mistake. We’re not done. Not even a little bit. I’m coming for you. If you don’t want me, you’d better run, you’d better hide, because I’m not giving you up til you can tell me you don’t love me as much as I love you.”

  The only sound was the wet slick of her blinks. He kissed her then, gentle, tasting salt, tasting the fight in her, and she kissed him back, but her hands came up and her fists were angry, tattooing against his chest. Then they opened and curled around his neck and the kiss took a new flavour from the first tentative tugs of surrender.

  He had to move. He didn’t trust himself not to push this too hard. She needed time to think. He released her chin and stepped away abruptly and she rocked back until she leaned against the rough brick wall, flattening her hands on it either side of her body for support.

  He steeled himself to walk away, down the corridor towards the emergency exit. He’d hotwire the Valiant, get his stuff later from Mitch, use the hidden key for the flat, give Alex time to catch her breath, then come for her. At the point where the corridor curved he turned back. She was where he’d left her, frozen in place, watching him. He couldn’t read her expression, but she wasn’t running.

  He lifted a hand and caressed the air as he would her face, feeling her still in his skin and in his heart, and then he turned and left.

  She should’ve run. But where? To him? Away from him? Her body said one thing and her head something different. She was a mess of indecision. But he couldn’t just leave. He couldn’t say he loved her. He couldn’t say he was coming for her and walk away like that.

  “Alley cat, what happened?”

  Scott was white-faced. She didn’t know how much he’d seen or heard, but it was enough to make him look stunned and for his voice to shake. “When you ran like that, I thought you were upset about not winning. What did he do to you? I asked him to come. I should never have interfered.”

  Alex hesitated. What was the truth, her body Dan’s willing slave, her brain in bloody rebellion? “He didn’t come because of anything you did. He came for me and I got so scared. I thought it was really over. I fooled myself about him not being right for me, thought I’d have to find a way to live without him and that it would be better not to start it up again. I thought if I gave in, I’d be just like Mum and Gran, weakened by a man, always vulnerable. But it was never over in the first place. And I have a chance to be different with him.”

  She grabbed Scott’s hands. “He makes me stronger, Scott – he makes me stronger.”

  Scott said, “Oh God,” his eyes popped and his mouth dropped open.

  “I panicked. I thought he’d tried to buy me with the prize money. He said he didn’t care about it. I
tried to send him away.”

  “Christ, you did send him away. I saw him go.”

  She shook her head, “He’s coming for me.”

  “What?” Scott bristled and squeezed her hands. “That doesn’t sound right.”

  “It sounds perfect, because I’m coming for him too, and he better be ready.”

  Of course Scott wasn’t the only one who was worried.

  “What did you do?” said Sylvia, when Alex reappeared, alone, changed out of her dance costume into a simple, elegant red dress, face clean of smudged makeup and the distress she’d shown earlier.

  “I got scared, but I’m ok now.”

  Sylvia frowned. “Scared of what?” She’d bitten her lip and Alex knew she’d be tasting metal. She took a tissue from Gran and passed it to her mother. “Everything.”

  Sylvia dabbed at her lip nervously. “Alex, you’re not me. You’re not Mum. Dan’s a better man than your father.”

  “I know, Mum. I don’t care what he does. I love him and I’m going to go get him.”

  “Oh thank God,” said Gwen, visibly relieved. “I worried you’d done something stupid again.”

  Alex put her arm around her grandmother. “A little faith would be nice.”

  “A little action would be better,” said Gwen, leaning in.

  “Gran!”

  “I’m just saying.”

  When Mitch approached, it was clear he was out of faith and worried Dan had done something stupid. “Where?” he said, that one narrow word wide in its implication.

  Alex said, “I don’t know,” but she smiled and that confused Mitch. He grunted, “We need to talk. There’s stuff you need to know.”

  “If that includes where he is, I’m all yours.”

  Between the seven of them they needed two cars, Scott and Alex going with Fluke and Carlie in Fluke’s Charger.

  The car looked amazing considering Alex had first seen it in parts under a tarp. Even Scott was impressed. “Where did you get this from?” he questioned Fluke.

  Fluke’s hands were on the wheel possessively. “Dan. He salvaged and restored it for me.”

  “Not exactly a good getaway car; they’re supposed to be more anonymous.”

  Alex laughed and Fluke twisted to her and Scott. “What?”

  Scott said, “Never mind,” but Fluke scowled at him before he faced back around and started the car. “That’s why we need to talk. There’s stuff you don’t get about Dan.”

  “Like he didn’t rob a bank to fund the prize money and you’re not the getaway driver?”

  “You know sometimes I’m not sorry I tripped you over.”

  “I love you too, Fluke.”

  There was a moment of tense silence when Alex exchanged a worried look with Carlie, before both men started to laugh and Scott reached over to cuff Fluke on the back of the head.

  “Where are we going, Fluke?” she said.

  He eyed her in the rear vision mirror. “To feed you, to talk, and then to let things rip.”

  “Where’s Dan?”

  Fluke grinned. “Don’t worry. Ant has money on the fact he’ll show up.”

  In a beach side café, Alex was surprised that she was able to eat. She was starving and, despite being on edge, her eyes on the door, waiting for Dan to appear, she polished off a hamburger as though it were a gourmet meal.

  “Relax,” said Mitch. He certainly was, sprawled back in the booth seat his arm around Belinda. “First we talk. Then we find Dan.”

  “Is he missing?” she said.

  “No.” Mitch had nicked home to change and was looking less like Dan’s stand-in now, and more in control of things. Despite the fact he had Dan’s keys, phone, wallet, shoes, and work clothes in the boot of his car, he was confident about where Dan was.

  “I’ll start,” said Ant, leaning across the table aggressively to eyeball Alex.

  “I’ll start,” said Fluke, elbowing him. “You’ll just make it sound wrong.”

  Scott said, “God help us,” and then grimaced as Alex kicked him under the table.

  Fluke started. “Three things you need to know about Dan. One: He’s the best mate a man could have, but he doesn’t take any shit from anyone. Two: His father is a son of a bitch.”

  “He thinks he’s like his old man. That’s the one thing he’s scared of, being like Jimmy,” said Mitch.

  Fluke picked up. “Three: He’s smart.”

  “And tricky,” said Ant.

  Fluke jumped in again. “He left home at sixteen, lied about his age, got a job at one of those mines in Queensland where they pay big money. Took every shift he could get, did every shitty job, did it for four years. Never spent a cent until they found out he’d lied about his age and they sacked him. When he came back, he bought the unit he lives in, then one by one, he bought the three others in the block. Then he bought the garage and the property it’s on.”

  “And we didn’t know that last part till recently,” said Ant. Alex could hear both amazement and respect in his voice, giving sound to the emotions she was feeling, but not topping the note of guilt peeling loudly in her head.

  Mitch pushed his cup and saucer aside and leaned forward. “If you think he’s just some dumb mechanic who surfs, you need to know he’s not.”

  Now the guilt was so loud in her ears and so hot on her face Alex wanted to leave the table, but she was pinned in, Scott on one side, Fluke on the other.

  Mitch went on. “There’s more. None of us have been saints, especially where women are concerned.”

  “Except Fluke. He has some developmental issues,” laughed Ant, but was shut down by the way Carlie glared at him and said, “He does not,” in a tone that made everyone sit up straighter and Fluke’s face go red.

  “We used to like it that way,” said Mitch, ignoring the sideshow.

  Ant said, “I still do. Don’t count me in this bit,” but he was still looking at Carlie with respect for her hidden tiger.

  “Ok, so Dan and I were players,” Mitch looked at Belinda. “Were players,” he emphasised and tightened his grip around her shoulders. “He figured there was a better way to be and he was trying to change. Him and me both, and he’d have done it with or without you, Alex. But you came along right when things were starting to get interesting. He didn’t dance with you for a bet or out of pity or guilt.” He looked at Ant and Fluke sitting side by side, then shifted his eyes to Alex. “Or to get in your pants.”

  “He did it to not be like Jimmy,” she said, finally understanding so many things about Dan.

  Mitch nodded. “He won’t talk about what happened between you. But you need to know he hasn’t looked at another woman.”

  Alex’s eyes clouded. Until now, she’d forgotten Katie. She shook her head. “That’s not right. I saw him with...” she glanced at Fluke who said, “I’ll kill her.”

  Mitch laughed. “He’s not with Katie.”

  Fluke was almost standing up in the booth. “Are you sure?”

  “I’m sure. He used her to deflect some random chick action and he told me she gave him a good boot up the backside, but he wouldn’t. Fluke, you know he wouldn’t.”

  Fluke slumped back down. “Yeah. I’ve got a new car says he wouldn’t.” He swivelled to look at Alex. “So here’s the last thing, because I’ve lost count...”

  “And they let you teach math,” said Ant, and he laughed when Carlie pinched him.

  Fluke ignored Ant, but he saw the pinch, so he was grinning when he said, “We thought you’d wrecked Dan. Whatever happened between you guys, it didn’t go well with him. He wasn’t right in the head for a while, so after tonight we want to know what you’re intentions are.”

  Alex was shocked. They’d told Dan’s story in a way that made all the pieces finally fit, made her feel hopeful and guilty, relieved and anxious, and now they wanted to know her plan. The three of them were sitting there, interchangeable judge, jury, and executioner.

  She frowned and looked at Mitch, “My intentions?”
r />   “Yeah, Alex. Do you care about Dan, or are you just a player?”

  64. Crook

  She crooked her finger and he came.

  Across the club, in between the drinkers and the dancers, the predators and the prey, the spectators and manipulators, he made his way to her. He was all lean muscle and hard strength, mouth curved into a cocky grin, eyes bright and intense. Nothing that wasn’t fit for a lifetime of loving. This was a man made for forever.

  Mitch was in awe and jazzed by it. He elbowed Ant, who nudged Fluke, who tapped Scott on the shoulder, so the four of them could have the pleasure of watching Dan approach and the knowledge that in Alex he’d found the person who made his life complete.

  Alex saw Dan the minute they entered the club and, despite the fact there was half a crowded room between them, she felt his presence in the way her blood fired, her skin tingled, and her breath came quicker. She made her intentions perfectly clear.

  He started moving before she even lowered her hand. He cut across the room. Obstacles seeming to melt before him, people shifting to give him a clear path before they knew he wanted it, and the closer he got, the more her body called to his, the more her senses screamed his name.

  He stopped an arm’s reach away and his eyes held all the promise of love and freedom Alex had thought impossible. She could look at him and see the future. Not in its specifics, but in the stuff that made a life. In listening and sharing and supporting. In planning and action and passion. In all the things that made a good dance partner, a perfect life partner, in kindness, cooperation, patience, and forgiveness.

  She looked at Dan and she didn’t see fear or reticence or the mirror shine of anything closed off and hidden from her. He was completely open, and she saw deep into him and found the best parts of herself.