“I know and I’m sorry,” she said. Matty pulled a napkin from the middle of the kitchen table and held it to her nose.
“Blow,” he ordered, “and don’t be sorry. You just want Jack back so badly. There’s a good chance the kidnappers will give him medical attention but the situation is still one that anything could happen. All we can do is continue to hope for the best. Let’s also be happy. Even though he is sick, he is still alive and now we know for sure Penny is alive also. Let’s focus on those things. Okay?”
“Okay,” she replied and Matty put his arms around her. The hug was firm and just what she needed. “Now, why don’t you go wash your face and I’ll pull out all the unhealthy snacks we’ve been hoarding just for this day?” Millie couldn’t help but laugh. They had been hoarding M&M’s, chewy Sweethearts, and bags of licorice for the last couple of weeks to spoil the kids on the last day of the school.
Millie returned to the kitchen all freshened up as the kids exploded through the garage door in a boisterous cacophony. Annie, now on crutches full time, had decorated her crutches with streamers and Leo found one of the Purim groggers and was announcing his excitement about the last day of school. The group of happy revelers, from Sasha to Annie, crowded around Millie and she smothered them all with love and happiness.
“Can we go swimming?” Natalya asked. “It’s warm enough and there’s plenty of time before dinner. Please?” The rest of the kids chimed in with Leo signing please also. She couldn’t say no to them.
“Sure, get your suits on,” she said. The girls ran upstairs – Natalya pulled Little Sofie from Matty’s arms so she could dress Little Sofie in her own bathing suit – and the boys ran downstairs. Matty excused himself to go skim the water of a few leaves. Millie smiled as happy voices filled the house but the smile did not last, however.
“How are you doing?” Danny asked and the siblings exchanged a hug.
“I don’t know,” she replied. “I’m so worried about Jack. He looked so sick. And Penny. She looked so awful too. Where has she been the last few months to look like that? Was she with Jack?”
“I don’t know,” he said, repeating the answer to his question. “I think it’s important to let the kids know that Penny is alive.”
“They’ll want to know how we know.”
“We’ll tell them what we know. There was a video proceeding the one that was shown on TV and in that video we saw Penny.”
After swimming and homemade pizzas, that’s exactly what Millie and Danny said. The kids were mixed in how to react. They were happy to know Penny was alive but worried for her just like they were worried for their father. And like with the other two videos, they all had the same question – when were they coming home?
Summer bedtime hours were now in place so the kids were allowed to stay up until ten. Sasha and Natalya, because of their age, were given an extra hour. This was a good thing; it allowed Danny to show them the video. Millie wanted to be there so she left Little Sofie with Matty. As Millie and Danny planned, they did not show the teens the first video.
“He is slurring his words,” Sasha said, worried. “He is not well.” It was a statement and not a question.
“There is something wrong with his arm,” Millie explained. “We could see it was wrapped but we don’t know what happened.”
“Do you think the kidnappers will let him go if he’s too sick?” asked Natalya.
“I don’t know,” Millie replied. Natalya and Sasha looked at each other. They were worried and sad. Sasha took a deep breath and let it out.
“At least we know Penny is alive,” he noted but his voice was dull.
“That’s right,” Danny said. “And we still have our hope. The videos are difficult to watch but at least we know they are both alive. Now, it’s time for bed. Both of you skedaddle.” Danny kissed them both on the top of the head followed by Millie doing the same.
The house was suddenly quiet. The doors that led out to the deck that ran the span of the back of the house were open and the nighttime June noises filtered into the house. Millie sat at the kitchen table. She was exhausted. Danny puttered around the kitchen behind her and when he joined her at the table, he had the soothing snack of chocolate chip cookies and milk.
“They’re going to start on the fence tomorrow,” Millie said, keeping her voice low so as not to wake up Matty or Little Sofie who were sound asleep in the family room. “Mr. Cooper thought he could finish in a couple weeks.”
“Jack never wanted a perimeter fence or electronic gate,” Danny noted after his first cookie.
“I know. I’ve been reminding myself of that but with summer, we just can’t take the chance with the damn paparazzi,” she said and began deconstructing her cookie. Jack hated when she used to play with her food as a kid. She always picked out the chocolate chips to eat separately and when they ordered a veggie pizza, she picked the veggies off and ate them first before the rest of the pizza. If it was something with little pieces, she took it apart. Annie had picked up Millie’s bad habit and Millie often worried about what Jack was going to think when he came home and saw his second youngest daughter unrolling a cinnamon roll or eating the components of a hamburger separately. Millie would obsess about this in the early weeks of the kidnapping but as the ordeal turned from weeks to months, she relaxed. When Jack came home, she was pretty sure he would just be happy to see his children again.
Chapter 18
My hand shook as I gently lay it on Jack’s bristly cheek. It was a struggle to do so but he needed the comforting touch even though he was unaware of what was going on. He was stuck somewhere between consciousness and unconsciousness. The infection was severe with a fever over 105° and everyone, from me to Vivienne to Crystal, were worried. Although I had every right to worry for myself – after all if Jack died my death was certain – I worried more about him and his children. Jack could not die without seeing them again.
Silent tears fell from my eyes. The last month was a story of two steps forward and one step back. As my memory and mind issues returned to normal as I received meds that weren’t laced, the infection in Jack’s arm dampened that improvement. At first, when the fever appeared as William and his team came back after a week, Jack was given ibuprofen and general antibiotics. These worked for a few days but then the fever stopped breaking. Jack’s arm swelled and was red and warm to the touch. His stomach bothered him and he could not hold his food down. It was time for another proof of life video despite Jack being so sick. It took two days to get the video made and I tried not to remember that terrible experience. It scared me so much. That was four days ago and Crystal finally okayed the use of super heavy antibiotics. Vivienne hooked Jack up to two IV’s and I took care of him the best I could in the small room with my limitations.
Jack’s face was so warm beneath my hand. I ignored the pain in my knees as I struggled to crawl to the water tap. I was shaky from lack of food. While Jack received the IV fluids and antibiotics, I would receive no food per Crystal’s orders. I filled our metal cup and drank the important water and then ran a washcloth we were given under the cold water. When I returned to the mat, I gently wiped Jack’s face with the cool cloth. The slight action bothered my shoulders and raw wrists but as with my legs, I ignored them.
I wanted, needed, to talk to Jack. He had soothed me through so much in this situation I felt obligated to do the same. And it just wasn’t what he did for me as we were held captive; it was what he did for me throughout our long friendship. As Jack lay so sick, I remembered back to the long hours we studied together in college and the conversations while he was on tour. He did most of the talking on those calls but the fact he continued calling me after Crystal refused his calls meant a lot to me. Our friendship taught me one important thing – I mattered to someone – an
d I didn’t realize that until we found ourselves in this situation.
Jack saw me at my most vulnerable so many times. During the struggles with my anorexia, after Shane beat me the final time, and during the kidnapping after the interrogation and Landon’s rapes. Throughout all of those, Jack treated me with genuine concern and care. It was hard for me to accept that; my experiences and the strashnyi golos assisted me in putting up such thick walls. I had been hurt so much that even though I knew Jack really wouldn’t hurt me, I just couldn’t take that chance. Jack did hurt me, however, in those months after the weekend in June but I couldn’t be mad at him for that considering the reasons.
“Jack,” I said quietly and continued to wipe his face. “You have medicine to make you better.” His head dropped sideways.
“Ellie? Ellie?” he whispered and then spoke in Russian. “To, chto vy moyu doch’?” My recall on Russian failed me. Since the high fever started, he spoke mainly in his native tongue; I only ever recognized the names. All his children had been mentioned, even baby Freddy, and I heard my name a handful of times also. Never once did Jack utter Crystal’s name.
“No, it’s Penny,” I said, hoping to help him figure out his own muddled mind. “I don’t know the Russian words you are using. I don’t know what you want.” He looked at me again as he shivered with fever.
“Ya khochu, chtoby moya doch’ Ellie?” he said in a pained whisper. “Gde ona? Gde Ellie?”
“I don’t know what you’re asking,” I replied, feeling so helpless, especially when Jack started to cry. This made it easier for my tears to fall. I felt like I was failing him. “I’m sorry, Jack.” He cried for a few more moments until the action seemed to exhaust him and he was silent again. “Rest,” I advised. “Rest will help.”
When Jack appeared to be sleeping instead of delirious, I made my way back to the tap, hung up the washcloth that was to be used only to wipe Jack’s face and poured another cup of water. After I drank what I could, I used one of the buckets. It hurt a little to pee, as it had in varying degrees since Landon hurt me.
I crawled back to Jack’s side. I had not been able to sleep much in the last few days. The noose incident worsened my nightmares and with Jack so out of it, my fear level increased. I was afraid to be asleep when William or the others came. But I was so tired and after tucking the blanket tighter around Jack, I lay very carefully down next to him.
I slipped my hand in his the best I could and gave it a squeeze. In a whisper so the camera couldn’t pick it up, I said the only Russian phrase I could clearly remember – “Ya tebya lyublyu.”
. . .
Landon was hurting me again. His strong arms pinned me down and with each thrust, the pain increased until I was screaming. He sneered down at me. I like it when you scream…
I woke up with a start. I gulped for air as sweat dampened me. My wheeze was bad. The chest pain increased and I brought my hands up as if I was trying to push the pain down. I needed both a little pill and the inhaler. Focusing, I inched my way towards both that lay in the corner. I had to be careful with the pill bottle. Since my hands were next to useless, Vivienne had to leave the safety cap off of the bottle. I needed to make sure I didn’t dump it while I fished out the tiny pill.
I was careful and slipped the pill under my tongue and then took a puff from the inhaler. It took several minutes but finally the chest pain died down a bit and my breathing became easier.
“Are you okay?”
I jumped from the unexpected sound of Jack’s voice.
“Bad dream,” I said. “Sorry I woke you.”
“I was awake,” he said weakly. My muddy mind took a minute to realize I was having a conversation with Jack, something that had not happened in a couple days. I struggled back to the mat. His face was drenched in sweat. His fever had broken. “The chest pain, is it better?”
“The little pill helped,” I said and retrieved the washcloth again. I remembered how miserable a broken fever felt and knew more wiping with a cold cloth would make him feel better.
“Thank you,” he said after several minutes. He moaned and groaned a bit as he tried to sit up.
“No, you should rest,” I said.
“I am too hot to lie down,” he explained. “I need to pee also.” Using the buckets had been difficult the last few days. I did my best to help him but I wasn’t strong enough plus my limitations didn’t help. Each visit to the end of the mat left him weaker. I was afraid even with his fever down for now, it would be too taxing of an activity.
“Stay,” I said and crawled to where the buckets were. We were only allowed one bucket when William and the others were not away and it had been a couple days since our single bucket had been emptied. I thought it would be easier if I brought the bucket to Jack. My hands and shoulders were so useless but I could push the bucket an inch or so at a time up the strip of cement next to the mat. It was good I had no choice but to go slow; I didn’t want to spill the foul concoction.
“Thank you,” Jack said with gratitude when I got the bucket to him. I turned around to give him privacy. After I heard him finish, I inched the bucket back to where we kept it. Jack’s addition ripened the mixture and I struggled to keep myself from gagging. I was very sick to my stomach and it took what little energy I had to move back to Jack’s side. It took me several minutes to catch my breath.
“Are you okay?” Jack asked for the second time. I nodded and looked towards him. He shouldn’t be worrying about me as sick as he was.
“How are you doing? Does your arm still hurt?” I asked and looked at his gauze covered arm.
“Yes, it still hurts but maybe not as much. There is no oozing through the gauze which I think is a good sign,” he replied. I gathered my tiny energy and crawled back to the tap and returned with a cup of water for him. “Thank you,” he said and drained the cup. “Could I have another?”
“Yes, of course.” As quick as I could, I returned with the tin cup. When I handed it to him, he took it and then handed it back to me.
“I want you to drink this,” he said. “I remembered they are not letting you eat while I receive the antibiotics.” I wanted to object but even with Jack, after the interrogation, I was afraid not to obey. I drank as much as I could but there was still nearly half a cup left. My mobility was just so limited so Jack took the cup from me and held it so I could drink the rest. The door to our prison slid open and William and Vivienne entered. I immediately felt fear but I hid it. I could feel my strength growing and could hold my fear in check. I was trying so hard to be strong while Jack was sick.
“We’ve been watching the developments,” William said as Vivienne came closer. She pulled items out of her bag after she kneeled near Jack. “Vivienne is pleased the fever broke.”
“He’s still not out of the woods,” Vivienne countered.
“Make sure you lead him out of those woods,” William warned in a tone that frightened me but I let it not show. He approached me. I sat up straight. He wasn’t going to intimidate me. Helping Jack through his sickness had increased my emotional strength. “And how is my Pretty Penny?” he asked and petted my head. I hated when he did that. Brief flashbacks of those awful days of interrogation ricocheted through my mind but I squashed them down and thought of Jack and the cabin.
“When you’re finished with Jack,” William said, “make sure to give Penny a once over. She had another episode not long ago.”
Jack’s fever was 98.6° but Vivienne cautioned both Jack and William she anticipated the fever returning – hopefully not as high as it was – until the infection was under control.
“Take these,” she said and shook out a couple of horse pills for Jack. He took them with a cup of water. “Roll over,” was her next order and she was
giving him a shot of antibiotics in the hip. Her final activity was to exchange IV bags. “It’ll take an hour to drip in and then you sleep,” she ordered. She made it sound like he had better things to do than sleep. What did she think he would do? Was he going to clean our little room? Do jumping jacks?
Vivienne turned her attention to me. She listened to my heart, took my blood pressure, and then my temperature. She stuck the thermometer into my ear three times and then swore.
“Are you sick?” she demanded to know.
“No,” I replied. Only after I denied feeling sick did I remember I had pain when I peed.
“What’s wrong?” asked William.
“She’s running a low grade fever,” she replied. “100.2°. What is wrong with you?!” Vivienne screamed at me and jerked my head back.
“Do not hurt her!” Jack yelled weakly.
“What symptoms do you have?!” The yelling clammed me up; I couldn’t answer. All I could do was shake in fear. My chest pain returned.
“Vivienne!” It was William’s turn to raise his voice. “Calm the fuck down.” Vivienne snorted out a breath, let go of me, and stomped out of the room. William followed her.
“Penny,” Jack said quietly. I was shaking so badly and felt sick to my stomach again. “It is okay,” he said gently and rubbed my back. “Take a couple deep breaths.” I did as he said, again out of fear of disobeying. “You are running a fever. Do you feel sick? Do you have pain somewhere?”
“W… When I p… pee,” I managed to stammer out as my speech took a nose dive. “Sorry. Wasn’t hiding. Just forgot. I forget easier.” A surge of pain raced into the center of my chest. “Hurts here.” I motioned towards my chest. “Bad.” Jack shook out one of the tiny pills and slipped it under my tongue. Jack rubbed my back a little more. The pain, however, didn’t go away. “Sc… Scared.”
Aftermath (The Deceptions Trilogy Book 2) Page 21