I pulled back. “I should go Mason. We shouldn’t have done that. You’re my boss and I don’t make a habit of doing things like that with people I work for.” I stuttered, pulling my shirt round me, relieved when I found a couple of buttons still intact.
Mason chuckled lightly, “I should hope not, George is a little too old for you.” His lips turned down grimly though, “Please don’t go, Ava.”
I shook my head. “I’m sorry, Mason.” I slipped my shoes on and made a hasty exit. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
He sighed heavily. “Ava.”
I finally turned to look at him. “I’m sorry Mason, I can’t get hurt and I don’t trust my emotions when I’m with you. We can’t take this further, we can’t do this again. I don’t do just sex.” My eyes pleaded with him and he lowered his gaze. I knew he couldn’t promise to be what I wanted him to be; to him it was just sex.
I descended the stairs, quickly gathering my things and as I got to the front door I heard him behind me. I turned and he was stood on the stairs watching me, a grim expression on his face.
I smiled gently. “See you tomorrow, Mason.” He just stood staring at me. Swallowing harshly I opened the door and left, shutting it softly behind me, finally sucking in a breath of air as I reached my car.
Climbing in, I dropped my head on the steering wheel and groaned. “What the hell have you done, Ava?” I chastised myself, angry at my lack of control around Mason.
I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t risk the pain I knew would kill me when he hurt me and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that he would damage my already wounded heart. He was a womaniser and a player; to him there were no relationships, just sex and I couldn’t handle that. I needed trust and I would never be able to trust him.
CHAPTER 10
I TOOK MY anger out at the gym. Courtney was with me as was our usual Monday night routine and I was using the punch bag, laying into it with all the pent up anger, adrenaline and hurt that was locked away inside me.
I was pummelling it, grunting and bearing my teeth. Courtney was stood at the edge of the room watching me with wide eyes. Eventually she grabbed my arms, “Ava, Jesus. Calm down. What’s wrong, babe?”
I shook my head. “Leave it, Courtney. I just need to get it out.” I told her angrily but she continued to hold me back.
“You need to talk not knock the shit out of a bag. Talk to me Ava.”
I closed my eyes and nodded. “Let’s get a drink first,” I resigned.
She smiled at me. “Good girl.”
We made our way to the onsite cafeteria and sat down with our coffees. She jumped right in, “Mason?”
I nodded. “We went further” I admitted.
“I gathered. How much further?”
I shrugged as I watched my spoon stir my sugar in my coffee. “We didn’t have sex but we did nearly everything else. I can’t control myself around him. It’s like my body craves him. Even now I can still feel his hands on me and the way he kisses me; Jesus, it’s so . . . so passionate. It’s like we want to devour each other. Even he admitted he’s never come so hard and it was the same for me.”
She nodded again, “So what’s the problem?”
“It’s just sex for him, Court. I asked him and he didn’t deny it, just looked away. I know I’m already developing feelings for him. He’s gonna hurt me and I can’t risk it.” Tears pooled in my eyes but I blinked them back, refusing to let them fall.
Her hands gripped mine. “Oh, babe” she sighed and I shrugged.
“He keeps asking me about that night and I so want to open up to him but I don’t know how to.”
She nodded slowly, “It might help though Ava, to talk.”
I shook my head furiously at her. “I need to trust him first and that’s never gonna happen. He has too many women. Are you telling me he’s gonna drop them all for me cos’ I know it won’t happen, he even has a woman’s name tattooed on his damn chest.”
My tears now finally fell at the words I just spoke, the cold sharp pain driving through my heart when I thought of him with other women.
“See, look at me already and he only . . .” My voice dropped to a whisper to keep our discussion private.
A small smile played on Courtney’s lips. “Was it good though?” she asked quietly and I smiled through my tears.
“The best orgasm ever! I’ll give him that, he knows what to do” I laughed. She grinned at me. “And he’s huge, Jesus.” I added with a smirk. I rubbed at the back of neck as I tried to discharge the memories of this morning, the feel of him and the taste of him.
We both started giggling like a pair of teenagers. “Stop!” I cried, “Don’t let me remember. I don’t have enough knickers to keep up with the memories.”
We both laughed loudly as my phone rang. It displayed Mason’s name so I ignored it, I couldn’t deal with him yet but a moment later I received a text.
MASON
I was just ringing to check you are okay. Please talk to me Ava!
ME
I can’t Mason but I’m fine. At the gym with Courtney
Don’t worry. I’ll see you tomorrow
To be honest I was surprised by his concern.
MASON
God! I’d love to watch you work out. Your tight arse in yoga pants, sweat dripping down your chest!
Oh God!
I closed my eyes and when I opened them Courtney was leaning over, reading the text. Her eyes widened and she grinned, “Wow, he definitely has a way with words. He’s even making me horny.”
ME
Stop! Lol. I have to go, see you tomorrow
MASON
Okay, take care Ava
X
My heart lurched at the sight of the little kiss but I swiftly pushed it back, it’s just something people did but Courtney got more excited. “A kiss,” she squealed. “There may be more to it than you think, Ava.” She stated but I just frowned at her.
“Don’t Courtney,” I warned and she sat back down, lowering her eyes as she realised what she’d said.
* * *
Tuesday morning arrived way too fast, my stomach in knots again as I entered Mason’s house. It was quiet and I shouted his name, wanting to check on his injuries but it was silent.
I filled the percolator and as it spluttered to life I heard the front door open and close. “In here,” I shouted, presuming it was Mason.
Footsteps sounded behind me and I turned to see Rebecca stood in the doorway. She gave me a swift perusal, her obvious disapproval of my clothes showing on her face. I was wearing my favourite green dress; a knee length shift dress with a thin black belt and my knee high black heeled boots; the dress wasn’t designer but had cost me nearly a week’s wages.
“Hello Ava, is Mason around?” she asked, her sneer evident.
“Uhh, I haven’t seen him but I only arrived ten minutes ago” I answered as I turned back round to the coffee machine, not wanting to look at her sour face anymore.
“I’ll take a look,” she snapped and wandered off.
Pulling a face, I poured myself a coffee, my body craving the caffeine hit. I started work on checking the fridge and writing down the shopping that was needed.
A good half an hour passed and I didn’t see Rebecca again so I gathered she had just left.
I was in the hallway sorting the mail when I heard laughing behind me. I turned to see Mason and Rebecca descending the stairs, laughing as she clutched his arm, his hand rested on her backside whilst he whispered something in her ear.
I froze, my stomach clenching and my chest pounding. Mason looked up and when he saw me he closed his eyes slowly. I saw him swear under his breath.
Refusing to show any emotion, I plastered a smile on my face and walked back through to the kitchen, desperately biting my lip harshly to stop the tears that wanted to embarrass me. I could taste the blood on my lip as I bit down harder when I heard Rebecca whisper my name and then laugh.
I was shocked that he could go fro
m me to her in the space of a day, he really had no scruples. This was not the kind of man I needed in my life. I decided there and then that I needed to move on, I couldn’t work with him, he was already breaking me.
Gathering my bag and car keys and ignoring the love birds in the hallway, I walked to the front door, shoulders back and chin high then looked Mason straight in the eyes.
“I’m going to do the shopping and run a few errands. Do you need anything while I’m out?” I asked with no emotion.
His gaze dropped to my chewed lip and he frowned, “Ava, you’re bleeding.” He scowled at me but I looked away.
“Yes I . . . I jumped when Rebecca came in and bit it. Do you need anything?” I repeated bluntly, still avoiding his eyes but focusing on Rebecca’s hand slowly stroking Mason’s thigh.
“Uhh, no” he said slowly. I nodded briskly and left, softly closing the door. The need to slam the bloody thing coursed through me, however, I was proud of myself when I controlled it.
I climbed in my car and left, slowly pulling out of the driveway. I drove a quarter mile and after spotting a layby I pulled in, pulled the handbrake on and sobbed, heart wrenching, racking sobs that tore through me.
I couldn’t do this; I was in love with him. I finally admitted it to myself. Then the pain in my heart hit me and I doubled over, my forehead resting on the steering wheel as I cried, draining sobs that wouldn’t stop. I stayed in the layby, crying wildly as my heart refused to stop bleeding.
I eventually simmered down after an hour and just sat staring into a field at the side of the layby for another half hour, with the image of Rebecca’s wandering hands burning my vision.
Taking a deep breath, determined to do what was needed, I pulled off and headed to the supermarket, picking Mason’s shopping up and some writing paper.
I sat and wrote my resignation in the car park, giving a weeks’ notice so he could find someone else, slipped it the envelope and made my way back.
CHAPTER 11
I PULLED UP outside Mason’s house and sat flipping the envelope in my fingers, my courage now slipping.
Gritting my teeth and mentally preparing myself, I placed the letter in my bag and got out of the car, retrieved the shopping from the boot and entered the house.
I walked into the kitchen to see Mason and Brian sat at the island drinking coffee. Mason looked at me, a deep frown on his face as he searched my eyes but Brian jumped up and walked over to me, enveloping me in his strong frame.
“Ava, Sweetheart. How are you? You look a bit peaky.” He cocked his head and studied me.
“I’m good Mr Cox, just a headache.” I forced a smile, “How are you, sir?” I asked politely as I started emptying the bags and ignoring Mason.
“Oh I’m fine, darling. In fact I’m here to see you really. I’m having a birthday party Saturday night and I came to bring your invitation. Brenda insists that you come, she’s eager to see you.” He winked and added, “I think she’s toying with the idea of being your surrogate mother now George has gone.” He smiled softly with a faint blush in his cheeks, embarrassed by his wife’s eagerness but I grinned at him.
I had really taken Brian into my heart, his wife sounded as wonderful as he was. “I’ll do my best, Mr Cox but I can’t promise anything,” I replied truthfully, not knowing what would happen with Mason when I gave him my resignation, wondering if he would ask me to leave straight away.
“Nonsense,” Brian dismissed. “Brenda said you must come. She’ll kill me if you don’t make it,” he disclosed with wide eyes.
I laughed at his appeal, “Fine, I promise.”
He grinned and passed me an envelope, “All the information is in there.” He frowned and swiped his thumb over my cheek in a fatherly gesture, “Are you sure you’re okay, Ava? You look like you’ve been crying, darling.”
Shit really?
“Oh ignore me Mr Cox, I’m just missing George.” I shrugged and he pulled me in his embrace and stroked my hair.
I caught Mason’s confused expression over Brian’s shoulder but quickly looked away. “Ava call me Brian. I’d say were friends now. Listen come over for dinner tonight, Brenda would love to meet you before Saturday,” he asked, leaning back and regarding me. I sucked on my lips, debating his invitation. “Come on, it will do you good,” he persevered.
“Okay, thank you,” I smiled.
“Excellent!” he exclaimed and grabbed a piece of paper from the phone pad and scribbled something down. “Here’s my address. Shall we say 7 O’clock?”
“That will be fine, thank you again Brian.”
I turned to Mason. “I’ll go make a start on some paperwork,” I said flatly.
He cocked his head at me. “Okay, Ava.” He narrowed his eyes but I ignored him.
“See you tonight, Brian.” I smiled genuinely at the older man.
He nodded and I left the room, climbing the stairs quickly, eager to get away from Mason’s stare and scurried into the office, leaning on the closed door and taking a deep breath.
Mason had brought in a small desk and computer for me so we didn’t need to share one. I placed my letter on his desk and sat down at mine and started work.
* * *
I was on the phone to Mason’s insurance company, sorting out cover for his new motorbike when he entered the office. He stood silently at the doorframe, watching me for a moment, making me squirm under his intense gaze and then walked to his desk and sat down.
I saw him take the envelope, open it and start reading. I turned away from him slightly, lowering my head and writing down some details the insurance agent was giving me.
He inhaled sharply and then stood, flung the letter on my desk and stormed out of the door, slamming it hard behind him, making me and the agent on the phone jump. “Sorry, something fell off the wall” I lied, confused at his behaviour.
After this morning’s obvious love fest with Rebecca I would have thought he’d be eager to get rid of me.
I finished my phone call and decided to find him to sort it out but as I reached the bottom step I heard him roar off on his bike, gravel spinning behind him.
I stood frozen to the spot for a while and then decided to bake, I needed something to relax me and keep me busy.
* * *
An orange cake, cranberry muffin pie and white choc chip cookies later, the phone rang. “Hello, Mr Fox’s personal assistant speaking.”
“Hi Ava, this is Kerrie. Is Mason there?” she asked, sounding a little worried.
“I’m sorry no, he’s out at the moment can I take a message?” I asked, establishing that Kerrie must be a popular sexual partner of his as she had rung a few times now.
“Oh,” she said simply. “I just received a garbled message off him but I’ve rang his mobile and he’s not answering.”
Strange.
“Has he said anything to you, Ava? I know you are a bit more than friends and he talks about you non-stop.”
I frowned. “Oh,” I answered. “Not really.” I was stunned that Mason spoke about me to this woman.
I was silent for a while. “Ava? Has he told you who I am?” she probed, concern in her tone.
“No, sorry.” I cringed, hoping she wasn’t someone who would be offended that Mason hadn’t mentioned her.
“I’m an idiot. I bet you think I’m one of his girlfriends. I’m his sister, sweetie” she divulged. I sighed loudly. “Are you okay, Ava? Have you and Mason had a row?”
I stayed silent, not knowing if to open up to her. “I know he can be an arse but his hearts in the right place,” she defended her brother softly. “What’s he done?”
“I uhh . . .” I stopped myself, aware that Mason might not like his private life divulged to his sister.
“Listen Ava, he told me about what happened between you two and believe me, you must be special if he’s spoken to me about you. He doesn’t ever mention any women.” I swallowed heavily and I heard her sigh again. “Okay Ava, what’s he done?”
I clo
sed my eyes; I really wanted to open up to this sweet woman. She seemed to be close to Mason and therefore might understand what went off in his head. “He . . . well he obviously told you I have trouble opening up,” I inquired to see how much Mason had told her about me.
“Yes,” she confirmed softly.
“Well I gave in yesterday and we . . . we, well we got closer.”
“I know Ava, he told me,” she encouraged softly.
“Well it was hard for me to let myself go but I started to trust him, but this morning he didn’t know I was here and he was upstairs with Rebecca for an hour. When they came back down he was all over her and vice versa.”
I gulped back my tears, forbidding them to surface. “Oh for God’s sake! What does he see in that bitch?” she fumed. “Listen Ava, I know he has feelings for you, he just can’t understand what he’s feeling. Mason has issue’s trusting women; most of them are after his money and status. I know you’re not like that, I can tell by the way he talks about you, but you have to believe me when I say he never ever talks about a woman. Yet he can’t seem to stop telling me all about you.”
I could hear her grin on the other end. “Ava, do you think we could meet for lunch tomorrow? We don’t have to tell Mason,” she asked and I immediately agreed.
“Okay.” She reeled off the details for tomorrow’s lunch. “I’ll keep trying his mobile. How did he seem when he went out?” she asked.
I swallowed. “Not good. I . . . I had just handed him my resignation and he didn’t take it very well, he kind of roared off on his bike,” I admitted.
She sighed. “Don’t worry, Ava; I know where he’ll be. Usually the club, getting drunk,” she laughed without humour. “He’s not good when he’s drunk, Ava so I’d suggest you get yourself off home before he gets back and I’ll go sort him out.”
I nodded, even though she couldn’t see me. “Okay, I’m sorry Kerrie but I can’t handle him at the moment. I’m not a person who could share him, my armours not hard enough.”
“Hey, sweetie. You have nothing to be sorry for. It’s that bloody Rebecca he should be apologising to you for. God! I have no idea what he sees in her. I think part of it is because she’s the police Commissioner’s daughter and it gives him an in, if you know what I mean?” I scoffed but silently agreed with her reasoning, it would be tempting to be screwing someone so high up.
The NSC Boxset: Heart of Stone Page 35