“It was full of movie clips of me and Ava . . . well you know . . . making love.” He glanced at me to assess my embarrassment and I smiled shyly.
“WHAT THE HELL?” Kade shot up.
“Sit down Kade, for god’s sake. I’m sure Ava doesn’t need your melodramatics,” Kerrie snapped. He sighed and sat back down.
“And well this morning,” Mason continued with his jaw clenched tightly and his eyes glazed over, “she . . . slept alone at the cottage last night and someone broke in while . . . while . . . and . . .”
Squeezing his hand I turned to look at Kerrie, intentionally avoiding Kade’s stony face. “He broke in while I was sleeping.” I sighed and closed my eyes as my fist clenched under the table. “He . . . put a dead rabbit in bed with me.”
I heard Kerrie gasp as Kade growled a deep rumble. I was sure he actually bared his teeth so I carried on quickly, trying to take the attention back to me. “And he filled my wall with photos of me. Hundreds of them.” I shrugged.
The table was silent while the information soaked in. Mason sighed. “Each and every photo had been ravaged, he had . . . he had raked a sharp knife or scissors or something over each picture.” He gulped and took a deep breath.
The pain in his voice made me lean over and plant a tender kiss on his cheek. “Hey, I’m okay.” I smiled softly. His hand swept through my hair then held the back of my head, pulling me towards him. Just as his lips settled on mine Kade shot up, his chair fell backwards with a clang.
“Fuck this!” he spat and stomped off, slamming the front door behind him.
Kerrie looked devastated and Mason frowned. “What the hell’s wrong with him?” Mason asked her and she sighed.
“You won’t understand, Mason.”
“Try me,” he demanded and I felt her discomfort.
She looked Mason in the eyes. “I had an affair,” she divulged frankly.
I stood up. “I’m gonna go take a walk and let you two talk for a while.” I nodded at Kerrie, encouraging her to talk to Mason. She smiled at me and nodded her thanks as I quietly left and went in search of the rose garden.
CHAPTER 44
I SANK DOWN on the bench in the rose garden. The fountain was switched on today and the water flowed up the spirals of the columns, across the branches and trickled down, back into the base. It was absolutely stunning.
I took a deep cleansing breath. Sam’s words of doing a detailed informative check on me had me cringing at the thought of what he might find. I hadn’t exactly got a clean record, being caught numerous times shoplifting and fighting before me and Katie teamed up. At first she had laughed at my efforts at stealing, finding my methods hilarious and shaking her head at me, had promised to show how it was done. I returned the favour and taught her some self-defence moves, building her muscles and confidence. We made a great team and I missed her every day.
My eyes closed and my head flopped back on the bench as I smiled softly to myself, reminiscing about mine and Katie’s escapades.
“Oh God, Katie,” I sighed sadly but my heart was now happy for her, finally able to rest peacefully. It was sympathy for me that hurt my heart, left behind to drag myself through life without her.
A tear pricked the edge of my eyes and rolled down my cheek. I lifted my hand to my cheek to wipe away the tear but fingers gripped my wrist and my eyes flew open.
Kade was stood in front of me, his head tipped with an expression of pain, love and compassion in his eyes. I gasped when his fingers stroked along my cheek, wiping away the tear for me. He softly rubbed his fingers together, feeling the moisture between his fingers.
He stood, silently gazing at me. My heart broke for him as the agony evident on his face brought forward another tear.
“Kade, I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you,” I whispered softly.
He smiled and nodded. “I know, Ava” he said as he sat beside me on the bench.
We both sat silently watching the fountain for a while.
“I can’t stop thinking about you Ava,” he breathed finally, still staring at the fountain.
My hand slid over to his, grasping it tightly. “I know, me too,” I confessed. His head snapped round to look at me, his eyes flicking back and forwards from my eyes to my mouth. “But we can’t do this Kade. There’s too many people who will get hurt from this.” I shook my head, trying to make him see.
“Ava.” He sighed heavily, “Me and Kerrie aren’t together now.”
I nodded. “I know, she told me last night.”
I looked away from him, back towards the water feature, needing the calming effect of it. I looked back at him and cupped his face. “If Mason finds out what we have done, well . . . he’ll kill you Kade, and he won’t even blink while he hurts you. I can’t risk that, you mean too much to me, but I love Mason, Kade. I’m sorry but I do, with all my heart.”
He turned away sharply and I bit my bottom lip. “Then what’s . . . this?” he turned back, gesturing between the two of us.
“I don’t know, Kade. I can’t stop thinking about you either and it’s killing me knowing that I’m hurting you.”
Another tear slid out and Kade’s eyes tracked it down my face. He reached his finger out and caught the drop off my chin but didn’t move it away. He slid the wetness across my jaw, his eyes studying his actions. He eventually slipped his hand up to my hair and twirled a strand of hair round.
“You have such beautiful hair Ava,” he breathed and I drew in a breath. Why did he make me feel so alive every time he touched me and looked at me?
His eyes moved from the lock of hair to my face. “Breath-taking,” he whispered huskily. My lips parted to let a wisp of hot air out. His gaze dropped to my mouth again and he leant a little closer to me. “The way you made me feel yesterday was . . . was mind blowing.” He was getting closer, his voice was getting lower and huskier. “The way you felt around me, the way you tasted on my tongue,” he breathed as his mouth hovered over mine.
Panting heavily I was desperately trying to take control of my dangerous reactions to him. “Kade please don . . .”
I never finished the sentence as his lips softly kissed the words away, delicately and tenderly moving over mine. His hands slid round to frame my face as he unhurriedly nibbled and sucked my bottom lip.
My body lit up at his touch, like it was already trained for him. His hands slid softly down my neck as he took me in a firmer kiss, his arousal and need making him hungry for more. He moaned into my mouth when his hand brushed my hard nipples, ready for him and I groaned back when he pinched them over my T-shirt.
“Jesus Ava, I want to be inside you so bad. I need to feel your heat around me.”
I whimpered as his words fired up my arousal and I slid my hands into his hair, pulling him aggressively tighter into me. “Yes Ava, you own me,” he rasped as I bit his lower lip, fiercely. He growled loudly and lifted me onto his lap, pulling me closer, devouring me and claiming me.
“Shit!” I heard laughing, voices getting closer. I shot off Kade’s knee and onto the bench as Mason and Kerrie entered the garden.
“Hey, there you are.” Mason beamed and I nodded, hoping they didn’t notice my flushed face.
“I came to see if the fountain was working and Kade was in here nursing his hangover,” I laughed.
Kerrie rolled her eyes at me and looked at Kade. “Feeling better?” she asked and smiled at him.
“Yeah, sorry. Just one of those days, you know,” he murmured.
Mason grabbed my waist, lifted me up and took my seat, pulling me down onto his lap. I tensed when he nuzzled my neck. “God, you smell good,” he breathed.
I watched as Kade’s face shut down again. I jumped up quickly, noticing Mason’s frown. “Dishes” I said to him, gesturing to the house with my head.
“Oh no you don’t,” Kerrie disputed as she sat on the other bench, nowhere near Kade I noticed.
I scowled at her. “You cooked, we clean.” I grinned and pulled Mason up. “Co
me on, you can help.” He grumbled something illegible and strode off.
I rolled my eyes behind his back. “I saw that,” he grunted and Kerrie laughed.
“I’ll be up in a bit, I need to have a word with Kade,” she said.
I nodded, “No rush.” I stole a quick glance towards Kade and caught his sly smile. I secretly winked at him, inwardly smiling that he seemed to have recovered from Mason’s words to me.
* * *
Mason and I were sat on the sofa, drinking coffee as Kerrie and Kade came back in. They took the sofa opposite us and I saw the flash of something in Kade’s eyes.
“Kade and I have decided to separate,” Kerrie said bluntly. I flicked my eyes between them, trying to gauge their feelings. “Kade’s going to look for an apartment tomorrow.” He placed his hand in hers, squeezing gently and smiling gently at her.
“Is it what you both want?” Mason asked and they both nodded.
“I’m still gonna stop over when she has her chemo sessions but only if she needs me,” Kade explained and in that moment my heart swelled out of admiration. He was willing to put parts of his life on hold and still care for his estranged wife when she needed him, to me that showed me how unselfish, caring and compassionate he was and I smiled widely at him. I saw the gleam in his eyes of what my smile meant to him.
“I can always take over for a while, if it ever gets too much or you have work or something,” I offered.
Kerrie tipped her head affectionately at me. “You’d do that, Ava?”
I frowned, “Of course I would. You’re like the sister I never had. I would be thrilled to help.” The need to explain surged through me. “Kerrie; since I was eight I have never had any family of my own. I was shipped from one foster home to another and then I lived on the streets for a few years.”
I could feel Kade’s eyes on me and his emotions crackled through the air like electricity. “The only family I really had after my parents was my friend Katie,” I sighed.
Mason grasped my hand and pulled me into him, kissing the top of my head tenderly and I continued. “Ever since the night of Katie’s . . . Katie’s death, when George found me, I have been blessed with good friends and a surrogate family and I hope . . . to me you are like a . . .” I couldn’t get the words out over the damn lump in my throat.
Kerrie rose and crouched in front of me. “I would be privileged and proud for us to be family.” She grinned and I grinned back.
“Thank you,” I whispered, feeling a little self-conscious about my feelings. “You promise to ring me though if you need me, Kerrie.” I turned to Kade, “And you Kade.” I told him, meaning if he needed a break through Kerrie’s recovery.
He smiled slyly. “Oh don’t worry Ava, I promise to ring you if I need you.”
Mason’s hand tightened a smidgen around mine. I shivered at his words and I hoped Mason thought Kade had repulsed me; I wasn’t going to tell him otherwise.
“Kade,” Kerrie scolded. “That sounded really wrong.” She stared at him wide eyed.
He seemed to clear his head. “Did it? I’m sorry; I just meant I would let Ava know if it got too much, you know too hard,” he said. He didn’t bat an eyelash but I read the innuendo in his words and looked away.
Mason barked out a laugh. “That didn’t sound too innocent either, Kade.”
Kade feigned a frown and then pretended comprehension. His gaze quickly flicked to me and a chuckle left his mouth. “Can’t seem to get my tongue round things today,” he grinned again. Oh God!! I was going to kill him.
“Words, Kade.” Kerrie grinned and he frowned at her.
“What?” he asked slyly.
“Words! You said ‘get your tongue round things.’ I think you mean ‘get your tongue round words,’” she laughed and he pursed his lips.
“Yeah, that too.” He laughed but stood, “Anyway guys. I’m gonna go sort out an apartment.”
He walked over to Mason and patted his back and came to me, bent down and softly kissed my cheek. “Thanks for the offer of your services Ava,” he said with a twinkle in his eye.
“Anytime,” I replied nonchalantly. I noticed his lips twitch. He tipped his head and left the room.
“Well he seems a bit brighter now,” Mason said to Kerrie and she nodded.
“It’s better this way. It was too hard on both of us, living together but separately.” She shrugged but I understood her.
She leant towards us. “To be honest, it’s a relief” she confessed. The little bit of guilt I held about what Kade and I were doing to her lessened a fraction, only a small amount though as the guilt I felt for what I was doing to Mason outweighed everything.
“You ring me sis, if you need anything. I was thinking, and don’t take this the wrong way. How about when the chemo kicks in and you start to get really ill, well . . . why don’t you let me hire a private nurse for you?”
Kerrie blinked at him. “Oh, well I suppose that would solve a lot of problems to be honest.” We all nodded, the thought of how her body would react to the poison in her system is not something you want anybody to witness, even those that love you.
I stretched and rolled my head around my neck. “We better get going. I have some paperwork to finish before work tomorrow.” I stood up and hugged Kerrie. “You take care and I mean it, you need anything, you ring me.” I made her promise. As Mason hugged and kissed her I caught Kade leaning over the bannister above me.
He winked and blew me a kiss and I returned the sentiment with a salute against my temple; it was amazing what you could achieve when you weren’t intoxicated. He clapped silently and grinned. I turned and left.
CHAPTER 45
THE NEXT WEEK flew by and by Friday I was lagging, exhausted and emotionally shattered by my thoughts, guilt and feelings for Kade and as I exited the NSC building at 6pm Friday night I grinned happily at Mason as I climbed in his car.
He had been driving me to and from work all week, not allowing me anywhere on my own. “Hey.” I breathed in the smell of him; the simple scent of his familiarity relaxed me and at the same time lit me up.
He slid his hand round the back of my head to hold me close to him, not allowing me to escape him as kissed me passionately and hungrily. I kissed him back, my fingers grabbing his hair in need and want.
We eventually parted and I had to gasp in a breath. “Wow, I missed you too.” I smiled and he winked.
He laughed and pulled out of the car park. “Sam wants to talk, he’s coming round later,” he disclosed with a quick glance.
“God, I hope he’s found something,” I said optimistically
“I need to talk to you too” he said with a little tremble in his voice and I frowned.
“That doesn’t sound good.” I laughed nervously.
“No, well it’s not great news but you asked for honesty in our relationship so I think you ought to know.” I was worried now, his expression was telling me he was nervous about his news.
“Okay, tell me,” I urged, needing to hear what was worrying him.
“It’s . . . well . . . Oh God.” He sighed, checking his mirrors to pull into the traffic.
“Mason, just tell me. You’re worrying me now.”
He quickly glanced at me. “Okay, I’m just gonna say it.” he took a deep breath. “Rebecca has a scan on Monday and she wants me to go with her.” He winced. My stomach clenched but I was glad that he had told me. I would have been hurt if he hadn’t told me and I found out from someone else, especially Rebecca herself. Wouldn’t she have loved that!
“Okay, thank you for telling me,” I said with my chin high, determined not to let my pain show.
He glanced at me again. “You okay about it?” He asked and I shrugged.
“Well, I can’t say I’m happy but it’s your child, so you deserve to be there too.” I smiled slightly, trying to hold back the heartache that ripped through me at the thought of him seeing his first child for the first time, it should have been me and him, not the fuck whore
and him.
As if he sensed my thoughts he settled his hand over mine and grasped it tightly, expertly driving with one hand. “I love you, baby and I promise it’ll be us soon.” I nodded but turned to look through the window, batting back the tears and refusing to set them free.
Sam arrived a little after 8 O’clock. As he walked in I couldn’t ascertain from his expression whether he had good news or not. He gestured for us to sit, so we did. He held a manila file in his hand but didn’t hand it over as he looked at Mason.
“Alex McDowell,” he said simply. Mason stiffened and screwed his face up as though in agony. I sat looking between them. Sam sighed and nodded. “You’d better update Ava about Alex.”
Mason frowned but turned to me. “A couple of months before I met you, Alex worked for me at the club and he was a doorman. We’d had some complaints about him but to be honest he seemed like an okay sort of bloke at first; did his job properly, was polite to the customers and never had time off. We had a tip off from someone that Alex was selling coke and E’s to some of the club goers. I had the others keep an eye on him and it came to my attention that he was giving entrance to underage drinkers, supplying the underage girl’s coke in exchange for . . .” He glanced at Sam and then looked back at me “ . . . For sexual favours” he finished.
I sighed but nodded for him to continue. “Before I had the chance to have a word with him he . . .” He looked away and took a deep breath. He seemed torn up by something and I looked at Sam who just shook his head vaguely so I waited for Mason to carry on. He looked me in the eye and held me there as he tried again. “One night Alex was pretty stoked up on coke and god knows what else, he let a fourteen year old girl in and sold her some coke for the usual payment. Alex ended up brutally raping her and strangling her.” He closed his eyes with his last words.
“Oh God!” I breathed.
He looked back at me. “She was a good friend’s daughter,” he revealed. The pain and guilt on his face stole my breath and I grasped his hand tightly. “It’s my fault she died,” he whispered, agony tearing through him.
The NSC Boxset: Heart of Stone Page 60