I struck my palm across his cheek, slapping him hard, “You bastard! Get the fuck out!”
He blinked, suddenly aware of what was happening. He shook his head at me rapidly. “Baby, no!” he pleaded. I shook my head in desolation and dejection.
“Get the fuck out and go get high Mason because right fucking now I don’t give a fucking shit.”
I pushed past him and charged up the stairs, silently begging him not to follow but hoping he didn’t leave. I sagged wearily on the landing as I heard the front door slam shut. Pulling my knees up I hugged them, resting my head hopelessly on the top of them.
I heard and felt Neo slide down beside me. “He’s gone,” he said quietly and I nodded. “How long’s he been snorting?” he asked calmly.
“A while but it’s got worse ever since Dane and he doesn’t seem to be able to control it anymore.”
He sighed deeply. “He needs rehab, Ava.”
I scoffed at his words. “I’ve tried that Neo but he refused to go, saying he just needs me to get him through but I know I can’t give him the support he needs.”
I slammed my fist on the floor. “God damn it!” I cried, “Twelve fucking hours . . . twelve bloody hours, that’s how long he lasted!” I shouted, my anger now at a dangerous level.
I stood up furiously and went in search of my phone; dialling Sam when I found it, “Hey Girl,” his cheerful voice greeted.
“Sam!” I barked. I could hear his cringe even if I couldn’t see it. “He’s fucking tanked up and I’m hoping he’s on his way to you. Can you text me if he turns up there?”
He sighed heavily. “Sure Darling. You okay Ava?” he asked despondently and I snorted.
“No but fuck him. He’s got fucking coke hidden somewhere near his fucking babies!”
Sam sighed. “I’ll get Greg and the boys over to search,” he stated and I sighed.
“Thanks. I don’t want it in the house!” I snapped, “Not near George and Katie.”
I could sense his frustration, the feeling of hopelessness and desolation that matched my own. “I know girl, I know,” he breathed. “They’ll be over in about an hour,” he said quietly and I nodded, aware that he couldn’t see me.
“Thanks Sam,” I whispered before I ended the call.
* * *
Two and a half hours later I was sat at the kitchen table with Greg staring at three full bags of coke and a bag of some small white pills. I ran my hands through my hair in frustration.
“Chin up, sweetheart,” Greg sighed as he walked to the freezer and removed a bottle of vodka. Taking two glass tumblers from the cupboard he proceeded to pour us a shot. I smiled gratefully and downed it in one; he filled it again and placed the bottle on the table. “Let’s get slaughtered, Courtney’s watching George and Katie.” He inhaled sharply, drained his glass and refilled us both again. “He needs help, Ava.”
I exhaled sharply. “Try telling him that,” I scoffed as I took another large mouthful and then sighed and straightened my shoulders. “It’s either an ultimatum or a locked room,” I deliberated and then turned to Greg for his opinion.
He frowned and pursed his lips in consideration. “Could you cope with a withdrawing Mason? He’s damn tenacious and unstable when he’s not high so he’ll be a fucking nightmare doing cold turkey,” he posed, “but even giving him an ultimatum won’t work because he will never stay away from you.”
I nodded, agreeing with him completely. “Then what the fuck do I do?” I asked as my phone alerted a message
SAM
He’s just turned up here, don’t worry, I’ll keep my eye on him x
ME
How is he? The truth please x
SAM
High, very high!!! X
ME
You gonna be okay with him or do you need me to come over? X
SAM
I’ll sort him sweetheart, try and get some sleep. I’ll ring you if I need you x
ME
Okay, thanks Sam x
I rolled my head round my shoulders and downed another full glass of the mind numbing nectar. “He’s just turned up at the club shitfaced,” I told Greg who groaned loudly. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” I declared angrily as I filled my glass, the alcohol starting to blur my senses.
Courtney walked into the kitchen and side hugged me as a guy I hadn’t seen before approached Greg. “Can I have a word?” he asked Greg who nodded and they left the room together.
“How many are up there?” I asked, she lifted her brows and puffed out.
“About eight. You okay, babe?”
She filled the percolator then switched it on and got a collection of cups out of the dishwasher. I nodded. “You okay staying over and listening for the peanuts?” I asked as I gulped another swill of vodka. She nodded, placing sugar and milk on a tray with the cups and coffee before disappearing back up to the coke hunters as a grim Greg returned.
He threw four more brownish bags on the table. “Fuck! More?” I asked shaking my head in disgust.
Greg slumped down beside me and held his head in his hands before looking back up at me sadly. “It’s heroin, Ava.” He closed his eyes with a heavy sigh.
I paused at the sensation of dread that filled every piece of my exhausted body. “WHAT? Fuck, fuck!” I groaned and rubbed my face with my hands. This was real bad news. “Shit” I cursed some more.
I sighed wearily, stood up and took my glass out onto the decking, inhaling the cold harshness of the frosty air. I stared up at the sky. “Give me strength Katie, some of your amazing spirit and courage because right fucking now I’m struggling, Hun.”
Draining the remainder of my vodka, I placed the glass on the table and walked down the wooden steps that led onto the huge paved patio and then down some rickety steps that led to the lower garden. I brushed the foliage and flowers on my way along the path until I reached the small pagoda in one corner of the garden and sat on the bench, stroking my hands along the wooden structure, smiling at the memories of me and Mason making love under the stars one night in the summer. A tear spilled free and I wiped it away angrily. “No, damn it,” I scolded myself.
What the hell was I going to do? I hadn’t one single fucking idea. I was on the edge of giving up and surrendering our relationship. I couldn’t do this anymore. It wasn’t fair on me, it wasn’t fair on George and Katie and it wasn’t fair of Mason to expect me to tolerate it. I thought we had put his demons to rest and I was hopeful for once, but he had taken the bloody stuff again without any reason for it. I had left him asleep for an hour . . . one fucking hour!
I could turn one of the guest rooms into a cell and try to get him off it the hard way but could I watch him suffer in pain, sweat and physical torture as he withdrew fast and hard?
I wasn’t sure but it was the only option available. I sighed, braced my knees and stood, taking a deep determined breath and headed back into the house.
Greg, Courtney and a couple of others were sat at the table. I turned to Greg, “I need help to clear out the garage.”
He regarded me. “You sure about this, Ava?” he asked cautiously and I nodded.
“Yes,” I replied bluntly, “The garage is ideal, I can use the utility room as a go-through room so he can’t get out when I unlock the garage door but there’s the toilet and wet room that leads off from the utility to the garage which is perfect for him. I need a mattress and blankets moving in, the TV from the bedroom screwing to the wall high enough so he can’t reach it and I need it connecting to a DVD player outside of the room, a monitor setting up in the utility room that connects to the garage security cameras and a couple of buckets, shit loads of bottled water and some big motherfucking bolts.”
He sucked in his lips and gave me a concerned expression but then nodded and stood up. “You heard her guys,” he declared. They all trotted off towards the garage, pulling the cars onto the drive and clearing out any other equipment that had been stored there and following my instructions for the setup of Mason’s hom
e for the next several weeks.
Courtney had been regarding me silently for the last thirty minutes and I eventually sighed and looked at her. “Please don’t say it Courtney. I love him and I’d do anything for him, even go through cold turkey with him.”
She swallowed harshly but then nodded and took my hand. “You want me to take the peanuts for a few weeks?” she asked and it was this simple gesture that brought the tears freefalling. She crouched in front of me and I leant into her, crying into the top of her head. “I love you, babe” she whispered, “And I’m so proud of you.”
I palmed her face and kissed her forehead. “And I’m the luckiest person in the world for having you for my best friend,” I told her as her own tears slipped free.
“You can do this, Ava,” she declared resolutely. I nodded but I knew without a doubt it was going to be the toughest few months of my life.
I picked up my phone, took a deep breath and rang Sam.
CHAPTER 24
“AVA! GOD DAMN it!” he shouted again, banging on the garage door frantically. I groaned and rolled my head around my neck. It had been twelve hours since Mason woke and he was starting to withdraw now. I hadn’t been in to see him yet but I could see through the monitor the boys had connected in the utility that he was getting irate and he was rubbing the muscles in his arms and legs, wincing in pain. His legs were jerking involuntary and he was sneezing uncontrollably. The expressions on his face revealed that his mind was going crazy and he hadn’t stopped banging and shouting for attention for the last twelve hours.
“Are you sure about this Ava?” Elijah asked, his face contorted with worry but I smiled and nodded.
“Whatever happens do not open the door until I give you my signal. Whether he’s angry or hurts me, until I know I can’t handle him then I’ll let you know.” I watched Mason retreat to the other side of the room and I knew I had to open the door before he returned to it.
I nodded and Elijah unlocked the door, then I stepped inside quickly while he locked it behind me.
Mason spun round and was on me within five long strides, his hands gripping the tops of my arms harshly as he pinned me against the wall. “What the fuck are you doing, Ava?” he hissed at me.
“Let me go, Mason,” I said calmly but he curled his lip at me.
“You think this is going to help, Ava?” he spat nastily, “You think I need cold turkey. I’m not addicted to fucking coke,” he shouted in my face, his spit and hot breath hitting me in the face.
“No, but you are addicted to heroin.” He froze, “Yeah I found your stash, Mason.” The emotions flying over his face went from horror to guilt to anger and then realisation dawned on his beautiful face.
“What have you done with it?” he asked slowly, the lump in his throat bobbing hastily as he winced in pain and rubbed his foot over the back of his legs. I could tell he wanted to let me go and rub the rest of his muscles but I was worth more than the pain to him at the moment. His nose exploded in a rapid fire of sneezes, one after another in quick succession but he didn’t bother to turn his face and I closed my eyes against the onslaught.
“Why don’t we get you in the shower, Mason? It’ll help the aches,” I offered blandly.
He screwed up his face in disbelief. “Jesus Ava, I’m not your little project!”
“I have water in my pocket. You want some?” I asked, figuring the way forward was not to bite to his insults.
His grip intensified and I had to hold back the grimace at the pain, not wanting to show weakness. “Ava, just let me out of here, baby. Honestly, I’m not addicted. You don’t need to do this.” He flinched and I could see the pain he was in reflected in his many different expressions. He was starting to tremble and I noticed his nose was streaming.
“Mason let’s get some water down you then take a shower.”
“I DON’T NEED A FUCKING NURSE. I NEED TO FUCKING SCORE!” he yelled at me and I blinked against the closeness of his face. He pushed me back against the wall but dropped his hold on me and bent down immediately rubbing his arms in pain. “Fuck!” he hissed under his breath.
“Baby, a shower will help,” I suggested. He spun round again backing me back up against the wall but not touching me.
“Don’t fucking Baby me you bitch,” he spat. I swallowed the insult back, knowing it was going to get worse than this. I expected lots of abuse, cruelty, swearing and violence to come very soon.
I pushed off the wall and slipped from under his huge frame, took the water from my pocket and placed it on the floor beside me before I walked over to the shower room, switching it on and turning it to warm.
Stripping naked I stepped in, holding myself against the tiles and prepared for the wait knowing he wouldn’t want to yield. I held myself under the spray and tried to calm my frayed nerves, closing my eyes and dragging up some much needed courage. This was going to be a gruelling next few days.
I had first cancelled my lunch with Gary and his parents then I had phoned Nate and told him what was happening. He had given me the week off, saying Liv would cover for me and he offered to take some shifts with Mason when it got too much. Everybody had been great and we had worked out a rota for the next two weeks, each person doing different jobs and chores, from simple things like shopping for me to spending some time with Mason during different difficult periods of his withdrawal but I wanted to spend the first five days with him, knowing they would be the worst. I chose to do this for him. My infinite unconditional love for him would be what got me through this and I was determined to do it for him, as painful as I knew it would be for both of us.
I held my breath when I saw him enter the bathroom. He stood watching me, his eyes narrow and black before he stepped into the shower fully clothed. I gazed at him, not letting my eyes leave his, not wanting to show any signs of weakness.
He pushed me up against the cold tiles and I still didn’t leave his eyes. “You want fucking? Is that what this is about? Huh?” he sneered. I didn’t reply, not actually sure what he wanted.
He unzipped his jeans and grabbed my hand, placing it over his hard cock. “Is this what you want Ava, my cock in your fucking pussy?” I still held his eyes, knowing where this was heading and I braced myself for the assault, willing to do whatever it took to take the pressure off for him. “Answer me damn it!” he yelled as he pushed into me, his heavy length now slipped between my thighs. “You want it? You always want it don’t you.” I took a calm breath as he gripped my thigh, lifted my leg and speared me in a single thrust. He groaned loudly. I knew Elijah would be watching us through the monitor but I also knew I needed to let this happen. “Is that better?” he hissed as his hand gripped my hair and pulled my head backwards so he could latch on to my neck. I cringed at the pain, hoping he wouldn’t rip the stitches out.
He pulled out and slammed back in “You.” Slam, “Want.” Slam, “It.” Slam, “Hard.” Slam, “Ava?” Slam. His grip in my hair became harsher but I closed my eyes and breathed through it as his thrusting sped up. He suddenly cried out in release as he buried his face gently in the crook of my neck, panting hard. He remained in that position for a while, silent and still, his breaths heavy and laboured.
“It hurts, baby,” he suddenly whispered and I placed my hands gently in his hair.
“I know Mason, but you can do this,” I encouraged.
He shook his head, still buried against me. “I can’t. It’s too fucking painful. Just let me have one more hit then I can do this,” he begged.
Ignoring his request I grabbed his t-shirt, lifting it over his head and then pulled his jeans down, tapping his ankle for him to release his foot. I threw them out of the shower, sat on the tiled floor and opened my arms to him. He frowned at me for a while but I remained sat with open arms. He groaned in pain, his body rocking against the agony and then he dropped into my arms. “God damn it Ava, help me,” he groaned and I rubbed my hands up and down his arms as I held him tight.
“The pain will stop soon baby, I p
romise,” I whispered into his hair as he started writhing in my lap.
A string of sneezes exploded from him as he rocked against me. We eventually got a rhythm he could concentrate on, swaying backwards and forwards together to try and manage the pain as he moaned and groaned for the next four hours, at one point screaming in agony as we remained under the warm steady stream of the shower. I cried with him when he couldn’t take the suffering, knowing I would be covered in bruises tomorrow where he had gripped me as another spasm overtook him.
“Shush baby,” I whispered repeatedly.
“Fuck Ava,” he cried out as another onslaught approached.
“I’ve got you,” I told him as I started rubbing his legs thoroughly and harshly helping him overcome the next seizure of torture.
“JESUS!” he screamed out and I grabbed him pulling him further into me.
“Breathe baby, breathe through it,” I encouraged, wincing as he gripped one of my thighs to ride the pain. I grit my teeth, wondering if he was going to crush my bones and breathed with him to survive the next episode. He cried out and writhed wildly in my arms as Greg approached the shower room.
“You need me?” he asked and I shook my head at him.
Mason clung on to me tighter and yelled at Greg, “NO! Get the fuck out.”
Greg took a deep breath but nodded. He passed me a bottle of water and the pills Mason’s underhand doctor had given me that I’d been informed he would need to help with the withdrawal. I smiled gratefully at him thinking it was a good job I wasn’t embarrassed by my nudity, Greg having seen me naked and trussed up before. “Just signal if you change your mind,” he told me as he stroked my hair and then left.
We eventually got through the next six hours of torture, still clung to each other in the warm torrent of the shower until Mason eventually fell asleep in exhaustion.
The NSC Boxset: Heart of Stone Page 114