My fingers trailed along his bare chest and down to his belly button. “You want to talk about it?”
His hand moved to my thigh. “I’d rather talk this way.” He leaned over and kissed me. His kiss was urgent, sweet, and filled with desire. We pulled away, and Jax smiled. “It’s late. You need your sleep.”
I tasted alcohol. “Have you been drinking?”
He placed a hand over his face. “Yeah. I had a couple. But I ate a greasy burger to soak up the alcohol before I drove.”
I figured he’d tell me about the break up tomorrow. I drew him toward me again. “Speaking of sleep, this helps me.” My mouth found his. It was a relief having Jax in bed with me again. Having him gone for even one afternoon made me realize how much I’d missed him.
He chuckled. “Who am I to argue?” His mouth covered my neck, my breasts, my stomach, and worked their way between my legs while his hands explored my body. We made exquisite love, and there was something almost melancholy about Jax’s face as he entered me, moving slowly, his face contorting into a mask of passion and pain when he came. As we lay next to each other on the sex-soaked sheets, Jax tenderly held my hand. “You get off work at noon tomorrow, right?”
“I do.”
“Can I take you out to lunch? Maybe we can go to the wharf?”
“A date? That sounds wonderful. I’ll even change out of my scrubs for the event.”
Jax picked me up from work the following afternoon, and we went to the Dolphin, an open-air restaurant right on the Santa Cruz pier. The Dolphin featured a walk-up menu where diners could take their food to one of the picnic tables on the pier or, as we decided, eat at the tables under blue umbrellas overlooking some of the surf spots in the distance.
The waiter, a kid who looked about eighteen, took our drink orders, a Sierra Nevada Pale Ale for Jax and a bottled water for me. We scrutinized the menus. Jax went with their famous fish and chips, and I ordered a grilled Mahi Mahi with steamed veggies. When the food arrived, I stared at my plate. “What I wouldn’t give for some good old greasy fish and chips.”
Jax smiled. “Tired of sprouts and brown rice?”
“Don’t remind me. I’m going to be on that wonderful Trinity diet soon.”
He took a swig of his beer. “Kale juice on ice sounds good to me.”
“You’re not the one who’ll have to drink it.” The Trinity program had accepted all my paperwork, and we were scheduled to fly to San Diego then drive the twenty-three miles to Tijuana later that week. We tore in to our food, but I could tell that Jax was nervous. He acted overly solicitous, pulling my chair out for me, making sure I had extra napkins, asking did I need more water, did I maybe want to try some of the famous sourdough bread, did I have enough food, would I maybe want dessert?
Finally I touched his hand. “How’d it go yesterday?”
He collapsed back in his chair and took a sip of beer. “Holly wasn’t too happy with me.”
“I think it’s sweet of you to make the drive all the way down to break up in person.”
He sat up straight. “I tried to do the right thing.” His hands shook as he drained his beer. He signaled to the waiter for the check. “Let’s walk.” Jax paid the bill, and we left the restaurant, walking to the end of the pier and past the fisherman. The expanse of the Pacific Ocean stretched out in front of us. Jax held my hand and motioned to a bench. “Let’s sit.” We sat on the bench, and Jax’s knee bounced, his hands rubbing his jeans. Then he turned to face me. “It didn’t go too well yesterday.” What had happened to the poor guy? I figured his girlfriend probably wouldn’t have been too thrilled, but they’d only been dating a few months, right?
I squeezed his hand. “Breakups are never easy.”
He squeezed my hand hard then he let go and faced me. “I have to tell you something.”
My eyebrows knit together. “Jax, what happened?”
He cast a quick glance in my direction. “The reason Holly wasn’t so happy was because she found out about … Oh, God, I didn’t want to hurt her.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Well, you see, Roz, it’s kind of like this.” He bent forward and studied his fingernails. “I met this woman named Sandy. She liked me, a lot, and …”
“And?” What in God’s name had he done?
Abruptly he stood up, ambled to the railing, combing a hand through his hair and sending furtive glances in my direction. “I need to … Do you want some ice cream? Maybe some cotton candy?”
“I don’t eat sugar.”
“It’s just that—”
I patted the bench. “Jax, come sit down.”
He slunk toward the bench and collapsed in a heap.
“Who’s Sandy?”
He leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees. “She was a client of the surf shop. I gave her kid surf lessons.”
“What’s that got to do with—”
He sat bolt upright and looked me in the eye. “Roz, she paid me to have sex with her.”
“What? Jax … what … how did you … you got paid to have sex? You mean you were a prostitute?”
“Stop it. Don’t use that word. It wasn’t like that.”
My stomach felt sour. Jax, a prostitute? No.
He stood up again and walked to the rail, grasping it with both hands, taking deep breaths. “I didn’t mean for it to turn out this way,” he mumbled. “It was only supposed to be a few times. Just till I got my finances together.”
I sat immobilized on the bench. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Finally, Jax turned and looked at me with sad eyes. I leaned forward and whispered. “Jax, come sit down.” He shuffled over and fell on to the bench. My voice was shaky. “What happened? How did you get involved in paid sex?”
He stared straight ahead. “I met this woman named Sandy through the surf shop. I gave her son surf lessons, and she liked me. Then she started bugging me to have sex with her, kept saying she’d make it worth my while.” He gave me a half-smile. “I must’ve told her no a dozen times, but she was persistent.”
I placed a hand on my chest to ease the tightness. “What made you agree?”
He squeezed his eyes shut then opened them again. “I was kind of hurting for money after I lost my sponsorship at Mystic Seaweed. Sandy kept calling me about this business proposition of hers. She was unhappily married, and I guess she finally caught me at the right time. I figured it wouldn’t hurt to get paid for something I’d happily do for free. The worst part is I was already dating Holly, and I thought that we had a chance at something.” His face flushed. “I didn’t want her to think I was a destitute bum who couldn’t afford to make rent.”
I struggled to understand. “Go on with your story.”
“So, I didn’t really want to, but I finally agreed to have sex with Sandy. She paid me pretty darn good, too.”
“How much?”
“A thousand bucks an hour.”
I inhaled sharply. “You have got to be kidding me.” That was a lot of money. “Oh Jax, your poor girlfriend.” I could tell this conversation was difficult for Jax, but I wanted to understand. “How’d you meet her?”
“Through work. She was a rep for Mystic Seaweed. I really liked her. I thought we could have a real relationship.”
“Go on.”
“Well, we started dating mostly because … You promise you won’t make fun of me?”
“Why would I?”
“Because Holly kind of reminded me of you.”
I felt dizzy. “Me? Why?”
“She had this fun way about her, like you, and she was around your age. She even smelled like you do, a little.”
I massaged my brow. “Tell me the rest of the story about Sandy.”
He paused, and then with a halting voice said, “There was Sandy and five of her girlfriends.”
My hand flew to my mouth. “There were others?”
“Do you want me to tell you or not?” We looked at each other. I had to be unders
tanding. Because as much as I didn’t want to admit it, I’d never stopped loving him. I nodded and Jax went on with his story. “We’d meet at the Ritz-Carlton in Laguna Niguel, and all the while, I was dating Holly.” He turned to face me, frantic, “But I planned on quitting just as soon as I had enough money set aside. I didn’t want to hurt her.”
My breath hitched. “The poor thing. How’d she find out?” He told me the story about Holly overhearing some of the women talking in the Ritz-Carlton restroom. I covered my face with my hands.
I tilted my body toward his. “Jax, this is a lot to swallow. I’m going to have to work through my emotions here.”
He stood up, his fingers in his belt loops as he towered over me. “You want to know the truth, Roz? I was good at it. And you want to know why?”
I blinked rapidly. “I’m listening.”
“It was because of you. If you hadn’t taught me so well, then I wouldn’t have gotten involved in this thing.” His gaze was steely. “Want to know what happened after you left me?” I winced at the reminder of what I’d done. “After you left, I guess you could say I assessed my talents. I knew how to do two things. I knew how to surf, and I knew my way around your body. Having sex was one of the only things I was good at, so I decided to use it.” He covered his face with one hand. “I used women for sex.” One of the fisherman glanced our way, but Jax didn’t care. He kneeled in front of me, his eyes trained on mine. “Did you ever wonder what would happen between us? I mean, if we’d stayed together forever?”
I looked at the ground. “I tried not to think too far into the future.”
“Because that’s all I ever thought about. That we’d be together. But you never let me talk about it. You’d never even let me tell you that I loved you.”
My gaze met his. “So, what’s up with your adoring public?”
“I called it off with them.”
“Really? When?”
“When I knew that you and Eugene needed me.”
And then he told me where he got the twenty grand.
“But Jax, how are you going to pay her back?”
“I’ve got plans. There’s a fifty-grand prize for the big wave Ride of the Year.”
“But that’s a gamble, right?”
“Of course it is. But there is one other place I can get the money.” And he told me about the house in Twentynine Palms that Tyler had left him after his death. “I’m not ready to deal with selling it, but if I have to I will. I’ve got you and Eugene to take care of.” He held my hands. I squeezed tight.
“What happened to all the money you made from those women?”
Jax sat next to me and folded his hands in his lap, his eyes downcast. “I’ve got a little left, but I spent most of it on travel. I have to train on big waves if I want to compete.”
I met his eyes. “Will you answer a question?”
“What’s that?”
“Did you ever have a live-in girlfriend? Were you ever engaged?”
His eyes became sad, his gaze falling to my knees. “No.”
“Why not?”
“Because, Rosalyn, I was in love with you.”
“Me? I mean … A lot of years passed.”
“Maybe. But it was just like yesterday every time I thought of you. If you want the truth, I compared every woman I met to you. And none of them came close.” He held my hands. “Are you mad at me?”
The earth collapsed from underneath me. I was the one who should be sorry. I had left Jax when I was pregnant; I’d denied Jax and Eugene the ability to know each other all these years; I’d lied to Lydia and never had the chance to apologize to her. I had lied about a lot of things.
I gently removed my hands and folded my arms across my chest. “I’m mad at myself. I really screwed things up. For everybody. For you, for Eugene.”
“Don’t say that. You can’t be mad at yourself. You did what you thought was right.”
“I messed things up so bad. And now … now.” I had hurt Jax so badly that the poor guy had turned to prostitution. “My health—”
“Rosalyn. Look at me. Things are going to be okay. We’re together again. We’ve got Eugene. We need to put the past behind us. I’m here now.” He took a deep breath and held my hands. “I love you.”
Jax had been a prostitute, and I blamed myself. But if I only had six months left to live, there was no time for luxuries like regret. I had to make things right between Jax and me, to somehow give him the love and pleasure I’d robbed him of, and to give back to Jax all that he’d given me. But, how was I going to do that in six months? Six months that would either end in more heartbreak for Jax and Eugene, or … Well, I just had to find the humor in life. I forced a smile. “Will you tell me some juicy stories about the male escort business?”
He hugged me so hard that I thought I was going to break. “Rosalyn, all I’ve ever wanted was you.”
“But you’ll tell me some of those stories? In bed?”
He grinned. “Only if you’ve got money.”
“Will you take a blow job as payment?”
“Hmm. I’m going to have to think about that. Are you any good?”
“Guess you’re going to have to audition me.”
After we made love that night, I stared at Jax sleeping peacefully. I stood up, selected the amethyst crystal from my dresser and clutched it to my chest. I looked out the window and prayed to the Universe, a plea to whatever or whoever had the power to reverse what was happening in my body.
Heal my body. And, please don’t separate us again.
Jax
Before we left Santa Cruz, Rosalyn noticed me checking my surf apps and pulled me aside. “There’s a swell, isn’t there?”
I smiled sheepishly and told her. “Todos Santos might be breaking soon.”
“That’s off the coast of Ensenada, right?”
“Yes.”
“Well, bring your board.”
“What are you talking about? Really? I can’t leave you.”
“You’re not going to leave me. Let’s just get down there, you get ahold of one of your boards and then we see how I feel.”
Rosalyn knew surfing made me happy and understood that big wave surfing was more than a sport to me: it was a passion. If we were right there and Todos Santos was breaking, well, I probably wouldn’t sleep the whole time.
She said, “Can you get a board?”
That’s when we made the plan to have Butch meet us at the airport. He would’ve gone to Todos himself, but he told me that he had to watch the store and that Summer may be coming for a visit over the next couple of weeks. I wondered if what had happened spooked him so that he didn’t want to be in big waves for a while. I felt protective over the people I loved, wanting to keep them out of harm’s way, but when it came to myself, well, if Todos was breaking, it would be epic. And it was only twelve miles off the coast of Ensenada, which was right next to Tijuana. From there, you took a boat to the island and the big wave spot known as Killers. And of course, if I surfed really well, there was the fifty thousand dollars for the Ride of the Year.
I called Gary and asked him if he could take care of Blue-ee a bit longer.
“When we gonna surf again?” he said.
“Don’t know, kiddo. Butch’ll be stopping by to pick up a couple of my boards, so let him in. Heading out to Mexico.”
“Mexico! You surfing Todos?”
“Not sure. I’ll keep you posted.”
“Well, Blue-ee misses you.”
“Take care of my little guy.”
“You want me to ask my mom if I can bring him to our place?”
“Think she’ll let you? Have you been behaving?”
“Well, not really. That’s boring. But I’ll ask her. She’s been in a good mood.”
“Thanks, man. I owe you a surf.”
After getting Eugene settled at Nelson’s house, Rosalyn and I flew to San Diego and rented a truck. The plan was for Butch to meet us with two of my big wave guns.
&nb
sp; I texted Butch when we landed and made plans to meet at a local taqueria. California has some of the world’s best Mexican food, but the closer you get to the border, the better it gets.
When we entered the small restaurant where Mexican women were making homemade tortillas in the window, we spotted Butch at one of the laminate plastic tables. He stood up and with a huge grin said, “You must be Rosalyn!” He cradled her in a big hug, practically crushing the poor thing. Then he slapped me five. “Jax, buddy. You staying out of trouble?”
Butch and I ordered and dug into gooey quesadillas, the grease practically running off our elbows, tacos al carbon, and cold Dos Equis beers. Rosalyn ordered rice and beans with a bottled water. “Hey,” I said, elbowing her, “last chance for junk food.”
She wiped her mouth with a paper napkin. “Vegan lifestyle, here I come.” Butch couldn’t take his eyes off Rosalyn. She was the first woman he’d met who had actually captured my heart. Rosalyn turned to Butch. “Jax tells me you two met back in Point Loma.”
He snapped to attention. “Yep, guess we were around nineteen. Kind of became one of the three musketeers with Tyler and Jax. When they’d let me, that is.”
I said, “I miss Point Loma.” Rosalyn’s eye caught mine. “Great memories there.”
Butch looked from my face to Rosalyn’s and back again. “Santa Cruz is pretty awesome too. Surfer heaven.”
“So, what’s going on with Dr. Bryant?” I said.
A faraway look came over his face. “Ah, Summer. She’s trying to get a few days off and make a trip down here.”
“That’s moving fast,” I said.
“We’ve been talking every day. Rosalyn, you know what we did one night? We spent a solid six hours on the phone.”
“Really? What did you talk about for that long?”
“I don’t know. I just know I could listen to her voice forever.”
I smiled at my friend. “You’ve got it bad.”
Butch said, “Well, it beats what I was planning on doing that night.”
Rosalyn said, “What where you planning?”
“A threesome.”
Rosalyn squeezed my hand and smiled politely. Then Butch said, “Only problem is, I was short two people.”
Pleasure Point: The Complete Series Page 55