Spy, Spy Away

by Diane Henders

  “Kiss me.”

  He smiled, his eyelids drooping. “Was gonna do that anyway...” His eyes closed and small snore escaped him. His eyes snapped open again. “Wha’ time izzit?”

  I leaned up on my elbow to check the bedside clock. “Six.”

  He groaned and buried his face in the pillow.

  I stroked the muscled ridges of his back. “How’s your head? Do you want some painkillers?”

  “Too soon f’r hangover,” he mumbled into the pillow. “Still fuggen wasted.”

  “I’ll get you some anyway. Might as well get a jump on it. It’s probably going to be a nasty one.”

  A groan that might have been acquiescence floated up from the pillow, and I slid out of bed to head for the bathroom. He was asleep again by the time I returned with the pills and a glass of water, so I put the supplies on the bedside table within easy reach and slipped back under the covers.

  Hellhound mumbled and dropped a heavy arm over me to snug me close to his warmth before resuming his lullaby of snores. I eased out a long breath and reached for my lost slumber.

  It eluded me.

  My mind raced like a hamster on a wheel. What would I say in my report to Stemp? How would I deliver the phone list to Hibbert, and where would he give me the final payment? Please, God, not in another biker bar. And while I was at it, please let him believe he’d gotten what he wanted last night.

  But he wouldn’t have any reason to disbelieve it. Would he?

  No. He’d believe it. The ‘evidence’ should have been convincing.

  I eased out another long breath. Relax.

  Sleep.

  But if Hibbert thought I’d sucked him off last night, what would he expect next time? The memory of his tongue invading my mouth made me shudder so violently that Hellhound roused to sprinkle kisses across my shoulder before sinking back into oblivion.

  Okay, no way in hell I’d let Hibbert anywhere near me ever again. I needed a plan…

  I blew out a short, irritable breath and gave up on sleep. Extricating myself carefully from Hellhound’s embrace, I headed for the bathroom to make free with his shower.

  Working the tangles out my wet hair afterward and regretting the lack of conditioner, I leaned close to the mirror, tilting my head to examine the damage.

  My nose was still puffy but unless I actually touched it, the dull ache was tolerable. The tender spot where the dumpster had introduced itself to my head had made for an uncomfortable shampooing experience, but the skin didn’t seem to be broken.

  I squinted critically. Please tell me those shadows under my eyes were from lack of sleep. I really didn’t want to have to explain two black eyes.

  Pulling on yesterday’s clothes with distaste, I made another mental entry in the imaginary spy manual I’d been compiling since October. Always carry a change of underwear. And a clean T-shirt might not be a bad idea, either.

  Except I’d had enough difficulty finding space in my crammed waist pouch for the secured phone I’d resolved to carry at all times. No room left for wardrobe items. And it’d be damn embarrassing if I dragged out a lacy little thong along with my wallet in public. I sighed and reluctantly crossed underwear off my mental list.

  When I emerged from the bathroom, Hooker opened a single incredulous yellow eye from his blanket-nest on the couch before exposing a pink gullet and gleaming fangs in a yawn. Apparently he liked early mornings as much as Hellhound did. He curled into a ball and tucked his scarred nose under his paw, ignoring me completely.

  Scrounging through the kitchen, I found the usual impressive beer supply and very little else. I eyed the pizza box in the fridge with suspicion. It might have been fresh yesterday or it might have been fossilized since October. Hard to tell with cold pizza. And I knew better than to look for bread or fruit.

  Screw it. I’d hit a drive-through on my way out of town.

  Padding back to the bedroom, I paused in the doorway. I had left the bathroom light on instead of turning on the living room lights, and a soft rectangle of illumination fell across Hellhound in bed. He had rolled over to sprawl on his back, the blankets flung aside to reveal his muscular tattooed arms and torso.

  I swallowed.

  God, two months of abstinence was about two months too long. Maybe I could hit that magic window between ‘too drunk to be able to’ and ‘too hung over to want to’. Still enough time for a quickie…

  I was just starting forward when buzzing from the bedside table made me stiffen. Only one person would text me at seven-thirty in the morning.

  Hellhound mumbled and opened sleepy eyes as I pulled my phone out of my waist pouch. Sure enough, it was a two-word text. ‘Call home’. Stemp’s signal.

  When I swore, Hellhound sat up to regard me with concern. “What, darlin’?”

  I blew out a short breath. “I have to call Stemp. I only have one other secured phone with me, and it’s in the truck. And I have to get back to Silverside. I have a meeting at ten.”

  “Oh.” He looked as disappointed as I felt. “Damn, darlin’, can’t ya stay for a little while?”

  The blankets had fallen aside when he sat up, and I surveyed the tempting scene wistfully.

  Definitely not too drunk.

  But Stemp would expect an answer right away. And by the time I went down to the truck and dealt with the call and got back up here…

  Nothing wrong with ‘quick’, but ‘rushed’ wasn’t worth it.

  “Shit.” I stuffed my gun into my holster and snapped on my waist pouch. “I wish I could stay. But I can’t.” I leaned across the bed to give him a hasty kiss.

  He slipped a hand behind my head and turned it into a slow kiss. A long, hot, teasing kiss that set every nerve in my body tingling and begging for more. My hands glided over the hard muscles of his chest, drifting down toward a more enticing hardness…

  I pulled away. “Goddammit, I want you. But there’s no time to enjoy you.”

  He sighed and released me. “Okay, darlin’.” He rolled out of bed and swayed momentarily, his hand going to his head. “Shit, this’s gonna be ugly in a couple hours.” He followed me to the door to watch while I donned my boots and wrapped my sleeping bag around me. When I leaned in to kiss him goodbye, he folded me into his arms.

  “I dunno what to say, Aydan,” he murmured against my hair. He pulled away to look into my eyes. “Thanks doesn’t cover it, but… thanks. I owe ya.”

  I kissed him. “You don’t owe me a thing.” Pressing closer and circling my hips against him, I purred, “But if you’d care to make a small down-payment the next time I see you…”

  He scowled in mock indignation. “Jesus, darlin’, it ain’t that small.”

  I laughed. “A large down-payment would be more than welcome, too.”

  “That’s more like it,” he growled, grinning. Pulling me closer, he nuzzled my neck, trailing spine-tingling whiskery kisses up to my ear. “Go down an’ call Stemp an’ then come right back.” The hot promise in his sexy rasp made my breath quicken. “Tell him ya got a flat tire or somethin’.”

  “I c…”

  He silenced my protest with his lips, sending heat rushing to all points south.

  Jammed between us, my waist pouch vibrated.

  Hellhound drew away, eyeing it with resignation. “He ain’t gonna quit, is he?”

  “No.” I released my pent-up lust in a long sigh. “I really have to go.”

  He echoed my sigh. “Well, prob’ly for the best. Ya deserve better ‘n what I can give ya when I’m half-way hung over.”

  “Are you kidding?” I shot him a grin. “Your worst is better than most guys’ best.”

  “Aw, thanks, darlin’.” He sobered and stroked my hair back from my cheek. “Be safe, Aydan. An’ if things don’t go the way ya planned with Stemp, tell him the truth. I’d rather go to jail for life than have ya suffer.” Despite his earlier levity, the dark ghosts still haunted his eyes.

  I slipped my arms around him to hold him tightly. “It’ll
be fine,” I reassured us both.

  Shivering in the truck a few minutes later, I pressed the speed-dial button on the secured phone. When Stemp answered, I spared no graciousness on him. “It’s Aydan.”

  “What’s your ETA?”

  “Two hours.”

  “Report to my office immediately when you arrive.”

  “Fine.” I pressed the disconnect button, wishing I had a receiver to slam down in his ear.

  Late, but defying Stemp’s orders anyway, I made a short detour to The Melted Spoon to grab a second breakfast when I arrived in Silverside, hoping to soothe the hollow shivering that shook my body. I wolfed down the hot peanut-buttered bagel in the parking lot at Sirius Dynamics before shuffling into the building, hugging a cardboard cup of tea that burned my hand without warming me.

  The guard in the security wicket gave me a quizzical scrutiny. “’Morning, Aydan,” he said in a tone that sounded like ‘what the hell happened to you?’

  “’Morning, Leo.” I signed for my security fob and turned away without elaborating.

  When I gained the second floor, the unflattering lights in the women’s washroom revealed Rudolf the Red-Nosed Racoon in the mirror, complete with a puffy pink nose and black-shadowed bags under my eyes. A few spatters of dried blood decorated the front of my grubby T-shirt, and I was pretty sure I still smelled vomit from the vicinity of my boots.

  Vanity had prompted me to leave my sleeping bag in the truck, but I might as well have worn it. All I needed to complete my fashion statement was a bottle of rotgut in a dirty paper bag.

  I gave my reflection a weary grimace before squaring my shoulders and heading for Stemp’s office, my mind buzzing with evasions and excuses.

  Chapter 20

  “Eventful night.” Stemp’s dispassionate gaze inventoried me from frowsy hair to malodorous boots.

  “Yeah.” I slumped in the guest chair and regarded him over his desk, hoping without optimism that he wouldn’t notice the trembling of my hands. Fat chance. He was far too good to miss something like that.

  “Report.”

  I blew out a long breath, gathering myself. “I went into the bar and got the money.” I shoved the plump envelope across his desk. “…but things got complicated.” I waved a hand in the direction of my nose. “I got attacked. I… um, kind of lost control.” Which was technically true. “It was self-defence,” I added.

  Also true.

  Stemp eyed me narrowly. “A broken neck. No other marks on the body. That takes quite a bit of skill.”

  “It was an accident.” I didn’t sound convincing even to myself.

  “Please don’t insult my intelligence, Ms. Kelly.”

  I slouched lower in the chair. “Sorry. I didn’t mean… I just meant it shouldn’t have happened. Like I said, things got a little out of control.”

  Stemp frowned. “Considering your careful adherence to your cover thus far, I’d say it was a considerable loss of control. Why were you up in that industrial area in the first place?”

  I stared at him, my mind racing. “You were tracking my phone.”

  “Of course. As soon as you called for the cleanup crew, I started tracking your location.”

  Shit!

  My brain accelerated into overdrive. He knew where I’d been. If he placed Arnie with me…

  But he couldn’t. He wouldn’t have had any reason to track Arnie’s phone, and there was no other way for him to know I wasn’t alone.

  I carried on with my story as planned. “I ran into one of my, um… informants. At the bar. It wasn’t directly related to the mission, but I ended up going to the industrial park to meet this guy. When he attacked me…”

  I let the sentence trail off.

  So far I hadn’t actually lied outright.

  “This guy.” Stemp’s inflection placed air quotes around the words, his expression unreadable. “James Helmand, senior. Your lover’s father. Odd coincidence.”

  Damn, I’d been clinging to the faint hope that they would quietly dispose of the body without identifying it, but I hadn’t truly believed it would be that easy. I resisted the urge to gulp and held his gaze while I trotted out the excuse I’d prepared.

  “Not really that odd. You know Arnie’s brother James was high up in the gang hierarchy when you arrested him, and James Senior has been in and out of the prison system all his life. Gang-related people hang around a gang-related bar. Bad luck he ended up dead, but not really surprising I ran into him.”

  With an effort I prevented myself from babbling more justifications. “And Arnie’s not really my lover,” I added. “I told you before, we just have a casual arrangement. I haven’t seen him…”

  I stopped myself. Stemp knew where I’d been.

  “…hadn’t seen him for a couple of months,” I amended.

  “But you saw him last night.” Stemp looked relaxed, almost bored, but I knew him too well. He wouldn’t miss even the tiniest inconsistency in my story.

  I leaned back in the chair, deliberately easing my posture. Open, relaxed body language. No fidgeting. “Yeah, I went to his apartment.” I grimaced. “I thought I should go in person. I couldn’t really see phoning him in the middle of the night to say ‘Hi, how are you, sorry I haven’t talked to you in two months, oh, and by the way I just killed your father’.”

  Still not a lie. I had only said I ‘couldn’t see’ saying that.

  Stemp’s reptilian features didn’t twitch. “And how did he react?”

  “He wasn’t exactly heart-broken.” I took a chance. “You must have seen the police reports on all the times his father assaulted him.”

  “Which makes it very convenient that you killed his father for him.”

  Fear exploded as frustration. “It was nothing to do with convenience! I explained that already. What the hell do you want from me?”

  He leaned forward, skewering me with a look. “I want to know why I’m doing a cleanup that’s apparently unrelated to your current assignment. If this meeting with your informant was part of your other ops, your other chain of command should deal with the fallout. It takes time and resources to make a dead body vanish, even when you dispatch it as neatly and conveniently as this one. I have to justify that cost to my higher-ups.”

  I tamped down my nervous need to jump up and pace, and held my voice steady. “I told you, it was self-defence. He attacked me. You’re always telling me I shouldn’t hesitate to shoot someone if necessary, so I don’t see why this is a big deal.”

  “Why didn’t you subdue him with the trank gun? It wasn’t so long ago that you were trying to convince me you wanted to be able to use non-lethal force.”

  Stalemate.

  I eyed him in silence.

  He waited, and the silence thickened.

  I cracked first. “I told you, I lost control.”

  “Yes.” His flat amber gaze bored holes in my skull. “Two months ago, you fired seven rounds into Kasper Doytchevsky’s face at point-blank range even though he was already incapacitated. Killing him was unnecessary and deprived us of the chance to gain valuable information from interrogating him. At the time, I made allowances because I knew what he had done to you. But now I have another body on my hands. Had Helmand attacked you before, too?”

  For a fraction of a second I considered lying, but the threat of the lie detector loomed in the back of my mind. Better if I could honestly say I hadn’t lied at all.

  “No. I’d never met him before last night.”

  “How badly are you injured?”

  I resisted the urge to touch my aching nose. “Just a punch in the nose and a bruise on the side of my head. I’ll go and see Dr. Roth later.”

  Stemp appraised me in silence for a moment. “Ms. Kelly, I’m having a difficult time believing that a relatively minor injury was sufficient to make you breach a cover that you’ve maintained so long and so successfully even under extreme duress.”

  My throat went dry.

  Don’t gulp. Don’t blink. Don�
��t look away.

  I held his gaze, my eyes watering with the effort.

  Thank God, he misinterpreted the moisture in my eyes. His voice softened. “Ms. Kelly, did something else happen that triggered your reaction?”

  I gulped and blinked and looked away after all. “Well… yeah, I guess…” I cleared my throat and studied the lush potted plant in the corner, incongruous in his otherwise barren office. “I… had a couple of flashbacks…”

  My heart rate ratcheted up at the memory, and I drew a calming breath and held my voice steady. “Hibbert thought I should be more appreciative of the fact that he doubled the offer. Thanks to your goddamn porn star cover, he…” I determinedly suppressed a shudder. “I had to pretend to give him a blowjob.” I realized I was scrubbing my palm against my jeans again and desisted. “I guess I was a little more wound up than I realized,” I finished.

  “I’m sorry.” His sincere tone shocked me into meeting his eyes. He continued, “When I assigned that cover, I had no idea you would become an agent. If I had known then what I know now, I would have handled it differently.”

  Was that sympathy in his expression?

  “You don’t need to do this,” he said. “We’ll find another way. And you should talk to Dr. Rawling. I’m sorry this has been so traumatic for you.”

  I closed my gaping mouth. “It’s, um… it’s okay. I don’t want to waste this chance. I’ll go ahead with it.”

  “That’s not necessary, and under the circumstances, I don’t think it’s advisable. Dr. Rawling was right. It’s too soon for you to undertake this.”

  I straightened. “I’ll finish it. The hard part’s over. All I have to do is give him the list and collect the rest of the money. I didn’t go through all that shit last night just to walk away now.”

  “Ms. Kelly, sometimes it’s necessary for our agents to give their lives on a mission, but you don’t have to renounce your soul. Providing sexual favours to further a transaction is neither necessary nor desirable.”

  Stemp’s usual impassive facade dropped, and I saw the face of a man worn down by duty and sacrifice. When he spoke again, his voice held compassion. “When your work begins to destroy you, it’s time to quit. That’s why I transferred out of active service. And I’ve seen far too many excellent female agents damaged by exactly this situation. Walk away now. His demands will only escalate. You don’t have to prostitute yourself for your country.”